Autophobia – Ray Perry
Being alone was not a concept that Ray Perry could understand, he could not understand how a person would willingly be alone, would willingly segregate themselves from everyone and anyone, or how they could deal with the silence that came with being alone, or the loneliness that surely came with being alone after a prolonged length of time.
Ray has a fear of being alone, of not having his brothers at his side, of not having his family to come home to, to hold onto.
There were plenty of times when he had been alone but those were short periods, short reprieves, and he knew that there was always someone close by whether it was in person or on the other end of the phone if being alone became too much for him. It was unfathomable to Ray that some people never knew of the bond between brothers, or the feeling of having a family
Fear is a powerful motivator especially when the thing you fear the most is being alone but fear is also incredibly dangerous when you fear being alone because you will do anything to bring those you love, those that you are the closest too, home safe. For Ray who was also rational and nearly always level headed, his fear of being alone often left him conflicted between what needed to be done, what should be done, and what protocol dictated.
Ray could watch Naima and their two beautiful children all day, could be with them all of the time, but then he would not be with his Bravo brothers and if he was not with them then he could not make sure that they all came home so that none of them were alone. Every time he left whether it was for a deployment or a short spin up there was always a familiar fear that would settle in the deepest and darkest part of his heart that he would come home and be alone, that Naima and the kids would be gone, and each time he comes home to them the fear evaporates as a light, a ray of joy, settles in its place because he knows he is not alone and will not be.
And then there are his brothers, his crazy pain in the ass brothers, but he cannot imagine what his life would be like without any of them because despite the hell that they go through to keep their country safe and themselves they are always there not just for him but for his family too.
Jason Hayes could be described as many things by Ray alone – adaptable which was necessary in their line of work, exuberant at times, frank with no filter, persistent to the point to stubbornness, domineering at times, obsessive, and surly at times – but through thick and thin he was always there.
Sonny Quinn tried his hardest to be a brick wall and they butted heads more times than Ray cared to admit but he was always dependable and there was something calming about the Texan drawl that Ray had come to rely on. Sonny, like Jason, was many things – courageous when faced with even the scariest of situations, frank beyond rudeness, sincere towards those he cared about, cantankerous that tested him to his limits sometimes, highly cynical but that was sometimes valuable in their job, and he could be vulgar at times – but beneath the walls that Sonny kept erected there was a soft and caring side that was valued.
Clay Spenser, the kid, had a special place in Ray's heart and it was not just because he had been his choice to join Bravo in selections from Green Team. There was something special about the blue eyed blonde that Ray could not specifically identify but he was damn sure that the kid was stronger than them all given all that had been thrown at him in his short life. Ray saw Spenser's potential to be a Master Chief one day himself. Clay was more amiable then most Seals, compassionate to everyone who deserved it, and arrogant although Ray was sure it was a shield more than anything else. Ray would be tested by Clay, pushed, but at the end of the day he was a brother.
Brock Reynolds and Cerb were a package deal that saved his and the rest of their lives more times than he cared to count or think about just by all of the training and explosives detecting that they had done. Brock was quiet and observant but he was reliable and damned good at what he did.
Trent Sawyer was another quiet brother who was often more reserved than they realised but he was damn good at his job and one hell of a medic who had kept him alive, stopped him from bleeding out, until they got back to wherever they were stationed whether it was the plane or a foreign base. Ray could always look over at Trent who radiated calmness even in the most dire of situations and know that there was no doubt. The man knew what to say even when he said nothing.
Eric Blackburn could be a hard ass and a teddy bear, an enigma of sorts but Ray knew that his intentions were always in the best interests of those on Bravo even if they did not seem that way in the heat of the moment. He took more shit than anyone else in his position would have, and it was always because of Bravo but he did it because he knew what they did was for the better even if it had backfired on them. Ray's respect for Eric could never be questioned or damaged because of the history that they had.
And then there was Lisa Davis and Mandy Ellis, two women who were a force to be reckoned with all on their own even without Bravo. Strong, courageous, stubborn, smart with beautiful souls and, caring and compassionate hearts were just a few of the ways to describe the two women who went to hell and back with them and for them, and who would risk their careers for them.
Ray's fear of being alone would never materialise because he had his wife, his two children, and Bravo that included Blackburn, Lisa and Mandy; and even if something changed then they would never be that far away.