Squidward put the kettle on to make some tea as SpongeBob and Patrick squirmed on his couch with excitement. As he gathered some cups from the cupboard he noticed a thick blanket of dust that lined the shelves and all of the dishes that sat neatly inside. When was the last time he actually had people over? He couldn't remember. In fact when was the last time he drank tea? Squidward noticed today was certainly out of the ordinary but he couldn't tell if he was too tired or too lazy to actually care.
"OOOOOOOH!" Spongebob screamed; his shrill voice sent shivers down Squidward's spine causing him to pause for a moment as he carried a platter with three overflowing tea cups. The sudden change in pace caused the liquid to spill out, slightly burning the suckers on his tentacle tips. He winced a bit and continued forward at a snail's pace to avoid scalding himself any further.
Spongebob's eyes widened greedily as he stared at the tea.
"Welllll! Squidward! You simply take our breath away with your hospitality! Doesn't he Patrick?"
"It's as if you've destroyed the very element of oxygen itself" Patrick drawled
"Patrick?" Spongebob scolded as a parent would a small child "What did we say about speaking French around Squidward?"
Squidward neglected to respond and instead took a seat and slid the platter across the coffee table. "Well..." Squidward exasperated, his voice sounded as depressed as ever "What torment do you intend to subject me to today?" it was less of a question to the duo as it was to God himself.
"Wellllll! Squidward ol' pal! I'm glad you asked! Today Patrick and I are going to show the WONDER of mornings! We're going to show you what it means to be social butterfly and get out there in the WORLD and out of this stone prison!". SpongeBob always talked in such dramatic tones, and as annoying as it was, Squidward figured it'd be better to go along with things this go around as he could vividly recall the consequences that followed when he rejected SpongeBob's antics. Put in polite words, that wasn't something Squidward was quite keen on reliving anytime soon.
"Ok" he responded simply.