From here on out the help of my friend Milkbonez and my brother was indispensable in brainstorming ideas. Without them this fic wouldn't be possible. So thank you! Enjoy the arcade madness in this one. ;)

Smiling, Shuichi gazed out the car window. Jurassic Joystick Arcade read the sign over the entrance of the shopping center. Someone tapped his shoulder. Shuichi turned to see Kaito offering an open bag of Doritos. "Thanks." Shuichi reached inside, crinkling the bag.

From the driver seat, Kokichi asked, "Are you eating in my car?!"

Kaito shoved it behind his back, crumpling the bag. "No."

"In my precious Omobile I won from a last to remove hand contest?"

"I would nev–"

"Would you like to sing a 'song that never ends' FOR TEN HOURS?!"

"Oh, come on! You got burger wrappers and empty Styrofoam cups everywhere."

From the passenger seat, Keebo screamed, "Kokichi, watch out!"

SCEEEEE!

Kokichi slammed on the brakes and swerved, narrowly missing an old Volkswagen. The elderly woman shook his head as she drove past. Kokichi scowled. "Get off the road, you walking ventilator! Sheesh."

Muttering under his breath, Kokichi turned into the shopping center and parked. Everyone climbed out the minivan. The leader jabbed a finger a Kaito. "The next time you eat in my car, I'm putting mayonnaise in your cereal."

Kaito shuddered. Huffing, Kokichi slammed the car door closed, locked it with a honk, and marched off to the arcade.

As he passed, Kaito handed Shuichi the Dorito bag. "Here. Operation: Discard the evidence." Shuichi laughed. He poured the bag into his mouth, eating it all, before tossing it in a trash can by the entrance. Keebo held open the door for Kaito and Shuichi.

A tsunami of sound washed over Shuichi as he entered. Kids laughing. Squealing. A barrage of laser sound effects going off. And worse, enough flashing neon lights to give anyone a seizure.

Shuichi inhaled deeply. Breathed in the smell of popcorn and old carpet. Smiled.

Hand shielding his eyes, Kaito scanned the sight before him. Rows of classic arcade machines. Skee-ball game and foosball tables. Even a wall of crane and capsule ball machines stood to the right. "Okay, okay. So, first off, I wanna play House of the De–"

Someone dramatically gasped. "It's beautiful…"

Bending over, Kokichi pressed his face to the glass prize counter, his butt hanging out in the air. The pregnant-looking 50-year-old man behind the counter didn't look up from his magazine. He was leaning precariously back in his dinky swivel chair.

Kokichi oohed. "Just look at all this! Look!" Assorted candy. Super soaker water guns and soccer balls. Trinkets like glowsticks, whoopie cushions, and emoji pillows. "My entire evil organization could run on this for three years!"

Frowning, Keebo pressed a hand his chest. He wore a black Japanese school uniform and cap to hide his robotic identity. "They certainly look like junk to me…"

"Endless entertainment! Food! Even fricken' Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots!"

Shuichi slid his hands into his pants pockets and shrugged. He wore a simple band t-shirt. "They're all just things you play with for 10 minutes and forget about…"

Kaito crossed his arms over his red hoodie. "Yeah, quit it. You're being creepy."

Kokichi whipped around, his eyes wide. "Wha…? No, I'm cute!"

"You're a Mussolini gremlin rat boy; how are you not creepy?"

"Wha–? I–! Rrgh!" Face red, Kokichi flung down his fists. "I'm gonna win everything, and then I'm not sharing anything with you guys! You'll see! We only have a limited time and we gotta make the best of it."

Keebo asked, "You mean limited time at the arcade?"

A deep voice cut in. "No, of our youth."

Everyone jumped. Behind Kokichi stood Rantaro dressed in a tie-dye shirt and crystal pedant necklace. He raised a hand. "Hey there."

Hands clasped, Kokichi smiled up at him. "See, I'd knew you'd understand me, nii-chan…!"

Hand behind his head, Rantaro laughed. "Well, it's just what I'd expect from my little sisters." Kokichi's face fell.

Keebo stepped back. "W-where did you come from?"

Shuichi raised a hand. "How did you get here?!"

Kaito scratched his head. "Dude, weren't you off in South America or something?"

"Ahaha…" Rantaro scratched his cheek. "Yeah, everyone thinks I'm somewhere else…"

Rantaro set his hands on his hips. "So! What are we waiting for? These games won't play themselves."

Chatting and slapping each other's backs, Kaito, Shuichi, and Keebo headed further inside. Scowling, Kokichi stuffed a bunch of flyers and brochures from the counter into his cargo shorts pockets and raced after them.

In a corner to the left, Kaito spied a House of the Dead 2 arcade machine. "Awl yeah! They do have it!" He raced off, weaving through clumps of kids.

Shuichi looked off to the right at some crane machines. A pink teddy bear was splayed against the glass, large eyes imploring. "Kaede would love that!" He headed over.

Keebo walked further in. "I always wanted to try one of those racecar simulators…"

"Now, now, kids," chided Rantaro. "Don't wander too far."

Kokichi grinned at Rantaro. "I'm gonna beat you at Tekken!"

"Haha, let's see about that."

An obscene amount of yen coins later, Shuichi wandered through the arcade, pink teddy bear in his arms. For winning the bear, he had earned a few blue tickets which could be traded for prizes from the counter. Shuichi sidestepped a snotty kid running past. The detective approached Kokichi and Rantaro who were playing a fighting game.

Rantaro's character, the good looking Lee Chaolan, roundhouse kicked Kokichi's avatar – a boxing dinosaur named Alex. The adventurer smirked. "What was that about beating me?

Kokichi furiously mashed buttons. "I won't let you…!"

Grunts and battle cries sounded from the game. Kokichi unleashed several punches to the gut, a knee to the face, and a laser blast from his hands. Rantaro's character went flying. Kokichi grinned. "Aha! Not much more now…!"

Rantaro glanced up. Saw DDR machines just beyond the Tekkan machine. "Ooh, Dance Dance Revolution!" He strolled over.

"Wha–? Hey! We're in the middle of a match!"

But Rantaro was already booting up the DDR. Grumbling, Kokichi stamped over. Shuichi, bear still in hand, trailed behind.

Before the DDR machine were two squares on the floor which had four directional arrows a piece, each pointing in the cardinal directions. In the two-player game, each person took a square. A curved pipe which rose to waist height stood behind both squares. To play DDR, players had to stomp their feet on the arrows to the music's beat.

Shuichi glanced at Kokichi. "Want to play a round?"

Kokichi's lip curled. "I'm not a 5-year-old girl."

Rantaro hit the machine's buttons, chose a song with a difficulty of 15 stars of 20, and grabbed the curved armrest behind him. Leaning on the armrest, Rantaro jumped around like a mad man hitting all 8 arrows across both pads.

Lips parted, Shuichi and Kokichi stared.

Sweat sparkling, Rantaro smiled over a shoulder. "And this is without my 10-pound ankle weights, aha…!"

Shuichi and Kokichi blinked. Shuichi turned to the leader. "So you wanna go see what Kaito's doing?"

"Yeah, sure."

They walked away.

Around them, kids shouted at each other from across the arcade. Buzzers sounded off. Neon lights flashed like a rave. Shuichi had to avoid the crumbs and gum piles on the floor. They found Kaito playing House of the Dead 2 at the end of a row of arcade machines and next to basketball hoops.

Kaito glanced over his shoulder. "Shuichi!" he cried. "Bro, my sidekick! My soulbro! My life's companion–"

"What do you want from me," sighed Shuichi.

"I need you, man! I keep dying. I can't get past the boss in the underground parking garage! You see, ever since I was five years old, I've been coming to this arcade to try to beat this thing. My grandpa told me–"

Kokichi raised a brow. "We just learned of this arcade yesterday."

"W-well whatever! It's important to me so help a bro out, will ya?"

Exhaling, Shuichi set his pink bear on the ground by the machine. Picked up the 2nd player blue gun. Zombies, all in their 1990s polygonal glory, attacked them. Kaito and Shuichi rained bullets down on them. Green blood spilled. Oftentimes zombies would lose their heads or limbs as they died. Some remained standing even after losing all of their upper torso.

Shuichi grimaced. "Gross."

Laughing, Kaito aimed his red plastic gun. "Nah, it's great!"

After beating the second level, they advanced to water stage. Shuichi gasped. "We get to ride on a motorboat?"

"Hell yeah, man! And fight water dragons in the sewers!"

Jaw set, Shuichi mowed down zombie wave after zombie wave. Neither spoke for a solid five minutes. Kaito cried, "All right, this is the underground parking boss I always die it."

"Not while I'm here. He's going down!"

"Yes, keep it up. We're doing it!"

The giant machine crumpled to ground. "Whooo!" Cheering, the boys high fived with both hands.

Shuichi gasped, "Wait, there's another boss!"

"Oh shit!"

After nearly dying, they progressed to the next stage – climbing through an opulent CEO skyscraper. Sweat beading down, Kaito clenched his jaw. "Oh man, I've never even seen this level before. We just got to through this building and get to the top, right?"

"Look, there's an elevator!"

Upon reaching the roof, they faced off the final boss: a translucent blue man. The Emperor, the lord of nature. Shuichi and Kaito emptied bullet after bullet into him.

Teeth gritted, Kaito shouted, "Not much more now! Only a third of his HP left. Rrgh, just stay alive…!"

Kokichi smacked Kaito's ass. Pulled down Shuichi's pants.

Kaito jumped. "Hey!"

"Game Over" flashed onscreen.

"NOOOO!" Kaito wailed.

Blinking, Shuichi looked down at himself. He snapped his head to Kokichi. "We're in PUBLIC!"

Blushing, Kokichi covered his mouth with a hand. "Oh, Shuichi… I didn't know you felt that way."

"That's not what I meant!"

"What's all this commotion?" asked Rantaro, walking over. Shuichi hurriedly pulled up his pants.

"Oh, nii-chan, it was horrible!" Tears streaming down his face, Kokichi hid behind Rantaro. "Those two totes ignored me when I said I wanted to play with them."

Rantaro crossed his arms. "Now, Kaito, that's not very fair. I expected better of you."

Kaito jabbed a finger at Kokichi. "Why do you believe him?!"

The adventurer continued, "And Shuichi…"

Kokichi leaned out from behind Rantaro, snapping pictures. "I'll text this pic of you winning that teddy bear to Kaede if you don't behave."

Shuichi gasped. "That's supposed to be a surprise!"

Kaito violently threw the gun at the machine. "You are such a little shit! I've had enough of you!" Kaito shoved Rantaro aside. Reeled back a fist. "I'm gonna bash your face in to Timbuktu–!"

Kokichi ducked Kaito's punch. "Oooh, so scary!" Laughing, he darted off. He shoved Keebo's shoulder in passing. "Come on, Kee-boy, we gotta run!"

Blinking, the robot looked up from his racecar game. "Huh? What?"

"Just come on! I actually need you for once."

Shaking his head, Keebo left the game and followed.

The leader and robot headed towards the back. Arcade machines boasted classics like Pac-man and Frogger. The area was mostly empty, aside from a handful of teenagers trying foosball and air hockey.

As they walked, Kokichi held up a finger. "'Kay, so I will consider breaking my 'Humans Only' rule and let you temporarily join my organization. As an honorary member. Stationed out in Sri Lanka, where you'll mostly be filing paperwork–"

"What do you want, Kokichi."

"To win everything from the prize counter of course! And to do that I need hundreds – No. Thousands of tickets! And you're gonna earn them for me."

"And just how is this possible?"

Gasping, Kokichi clutched his chest. "Wow, Keebo." He stopped walking and placed his hands on Keebo's shoulders. "You're a robot with special, amazing abilities! You should really believe in yourself more."

"You… you really think I can do it?"

"Of course I do! We're besties, aren't we?"

Smiling, Keebo set his hands on his hips. "Understood! What is our first objective?"

Kokichi pointed to a rusty Whack-a-Mole in the corner. "There!"

Keebo raised a brow. "Surely there are more lucrative games to try?"

"Sure, but this is the easiest. All you gotta do is bend down and have your arms cover all the holes."

"And you need a robot because…?"

"Because my back would hurt bending over for that long."

"I… I am at a loss for words." Shaking his head, Keebo started the game. The moles rose, bumped into Keebo's arms, and retreated into their holes. The digital score numbers rose like crazy.

Beaming, Kokichi clapped his hands. "I can't believe this is actually working!"

Gears groaned and grinned. Kokichi and Keebo exchanged a glance. Keebo leapt back. The moles tried to rise but couldn't. Their large, terrified eyes peered over the holes' rim. Keebo looked at Kokichi. "D-did I break it?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot you weigh 2,000 pounds."

"Don't add an extra zero!"

"Welp, off to the next one, I guess." Tapping his foot, Kokichi glanced around at the other old machines. "Hey, look, a trivia game! I could beat this in my sleep." The boxy, off-white machine had an excessively large screen, like a relic from the 1930s. The mascot, a young boy in a pinstripe shirt, bowtie, and suspenders, stood behind a podium. "On second thought, this would probably take a lot more time to earn tick–"

"What's it called?"

"Uh, Tricky Trivia with Travis 2."

Jaw set, Keebo approached the machine. "Allow me." Brow raised, Kokichi stepped aside. Blocky letters like an old computer bootup program appeared onscreen, typing out the first question. "Which French playwright wrote the play 'The Lark'?" Keebo selected answer choice A. Wrong. For questions two and three, Keebo also chose A. Both incorrect.

"Hey, what gives?" Kokichi scowled. "If you don't know what you're doing, stop wasting my time. We hafta earn those–"

The game only typed out the first three letters of question four before Keebo chose D. Correct.

"W-what?"

Keebo explained, "The questions are not random. They follow one out of 14,738 possible patterns. Through searching the internet, I have discovered a cheat sheet and memorized all possible orders of the questions and the answer choices."

Keebo mashed buttons like mad. Correct, correct, correct.

Inhaling, Kokichi cupped his face with both hands. Drool leaked out of mouth. The tickets… The tickets! "Nee-heeheeheehee…!"

A child tugged on Kokichi's shirt. "Hey, mister?"

"Beat it, brat. We're about to make arcade history with our winnings."

"But that game's so old it doesn't print out tickets."

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Kokichi smashed the game with an electrohammer, busting the machine open. Sparks flew ceiling high. The game sizzled out.

Eyes wide, Keebo stared. "Y-you shouldn't break games…"

Kokichi's head jerked over in turning to look at him like a broken doll. "I saved everyone the trouble of playing it."

Keebo and the boy shrank back. Trembling, the boy latched onto Keebo's leg. "W-where did he get that hammer–?"

"Huh? Where'd this runt come from? Go drink mommy's milk and get lost."

The boy tugged at the hem of his Star Wars shirt. "My name's Touya. And there's this bully, Nijito, who's been playing Space Galaxy X and not letting anyone else play. Could you get him to go away?"

Kokichi crossed his arms. "I'm an evil supreme leader, kid. I don't do charity. What's in it for me?"

Touya held out a string of five tickets. "You can… have me and all of my friends' tickets?"

Kokichi snatched the tickets up, then vigorously shook his hand. "You got yourself a deal!"

Kokichi and Keebo followed Touya to a close by section of old arcade games. A handful of 7-8-year-olds hung back some ways from the Space Galaxy machine. A young boy approached a bigger middle schooler playing it. "Um, Nijito? Can I play a round? Even half a round? Then you can play the rest. Please, this is my favorite game."

"Mine too, shortcake," a raspy voice answered. The husky kid must have needed an inhaler. "Fine, I'll let you play."

"Really?"

Nijito took the boy's money, shoved him to the ground, and inserted the coins into the machine. "Thanks for the donation for a good cause. Hyukyukyuk!"

Narrowing his eyes, Kokichi studied the bully. He wore a hoodie which read, "Liable to Make Poop Jokes at any Time". His oversized sweatpants hung down, showing his butt crack.

Kokichi walked up behind him. "Hey, shitstain! Where's your diaper?"

Gasping, Nijito whirled around, arms splayed against the machine. His sagging fat cheeks quivered. Arms crossed, Kokichi tapped a finger on his upper arm. "Move it, Ginger Gopher. I don't have all day."

"N-no! This game's mine! I am the king of Jurassic Joystick."

"Aw, how adorable! Now let me show you how insignificant you are." Kokichi pushed him against the adjacent arcade machine and handcuffed him to it. "You may be king…" Kokichi booted up Space Galaxy X. "But I am supreme dictator! Now watch as I beat your high score before your very eyes!"

Gasping, the kids smiled. "Wow!"

Red-faced, Nijito wheezed, "No, don't you dare!"

"Why do you have handcuffs on you?!" exclaimed Keebo.

"Watch and learn, kiddies!" Kokichi expertly maneuvered his spacecraft to dodge the flying space aliens' bullets. Oohing and ahhing, the kids crowded around Kokichi.

After a minute, Keebo spoke up. "You know, I could play."

"You're a worthless trash dump who breaks everything he touches."

"W-well, that's… I can't deny–Wait, you broke the last game!"

A girl pointed. "Hey, look at nii-chan's score!" At the top of the screen was Nijito's 4563 high score. Kokichi was at 4807. "He beat Nijito, he beat Nijito!" The kids jumped up and down.

Sniveling, Nijito turned away, hiding his tears.

Kokichi grinned. "Ahaha! Eat shit, Gas Ass!" Despite the bullet hell madness akin to Touhou games, Kokichi achieved a high score of 10,382 points before dying.

"Nee-heehee…" laughed Kokichi as he turned around. Leaning against the machine, Kokichi crossed his arms. Tilted his head to the side. "Well, kiddies? Where's my prize? Cough up your tickets."

Touya turned to the others. "Come on guys, give him everything you have. Every ticket you got. Don't hold out on him."

Every kid dug through their pockets.

Grinning, Kokichi rubbed his hands together. Oh man, just think of all the prizes I'm gonna win. Nerf guns! Twister! A lifetime supply of Oreos!

Kokichi held out his hands. One child put two tickets. Another gave four. A girl put down a single ticket. The rest followed suit. A grand total of 10 tickets.

"Eh? D-don't you kids come here all the time?"

"Uh huh," they answered.

"After school and on weekends and on your stupid elementary school dates?"

"Yeah."

"So why don't you have any more tickets?!"

Touya shrugged. "Because we're no good at them."

Kokichi gazed evenly at the boy. A child coughed.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"Kokichi, no!" Keebo threaded his arms beneath Kokichi's armpits and held up his arms, pinning Kokichi. "You can't harm children!"

"Watch me! Ngh!" Arms failing, Kokichi struggled against Keebo's hold. "Rrrgh! How am I supposed to win everything at the prize counter now?!"

Gasping, Touya's eyes went huge. "You're gonna win everything at the prize counter?"

The kids turned to each other, murmuring.

"He's gonna win everything at the prize counter."

"Wow, really?"

"He did beat Nijito. He could do it!"

"I always wanted the giant pony!"

All the children herded around Kokichi. Even other kids playing nearby games were drawn over. Like an army of the green alien toys from Toy Story, they all looked up at Kokichi.

Kokichi went, "Uh…"

Keebo frowned. "I'm sorry, but Kokichi can't possibly–"

"No, Keebo." Kokichi's grin stretched unnaturally across his face. "I totes can!"

Kokichi stood atop the glass prize counter, throwing prizes to a crowd of children. "You get a toy! And you get a toy!" Kokichi threw M&Ms up in the air like confetti. "We all get toys!"

The kids cheered.

"What the hell is going on here?!" The arcade caretaker lumbered over, squinting through his owlish bifocals. His dark green polo barely covered his sagging gut. "You broke into my–? Get down from there this instant!"

Pulling down an eyelid, Kokichi stuck out his tongue. He turned around and waved his hand by his butt. "Make me, toilet tail!"

"Huh?" Toilet paper trailed from the owner's beige pants. Red-faced, he ripped the toilet paper out. The children erupted into laughter.

Keebo ran onto the scene with Shuichi, Kaito, and Rantaro not far behind. "See, I told you guys! He lockpicked his way into the prize counter!"

Kaito placed a hand on his hip. "I am equally impressed and concerned."

Rantaro stepped forward, hands in the air. "Kokichi? Kokichi, no. We've talked about this before. Get down from there."

Kokichi stomped his foot. "No! These lying adults are making a living stealing money from kids with their rigged games! Robbing them of their hard-earned weekly allowances."

Frowning, Shuichi half-heartedly tossed a hand in the air. "You can just buy these toys at Dollar Tree."

"Not all of these kids can afford that. Check your privilege!"

Rantaro pressed a hand to his chest. "Why are you trying to do, Kokichi? I don't understand. So why don't you come down and we can talk this out?"

"Talk? Talk?! I'm through with talking." Arms to the side, Kokichi raised his voice. "Is it wrong to give toys to kids? Wrong to question the system? Well, I say no more! Everything belongs to everyone." Kokichi raised a nerf gun in the air. "We're overthrowing the government and establishing a communist anarchy!"

Kids pumped their fists in the air. "ANARCHY!"

Rantaro held his chin. "Huh. That actually sounds kinda nice."

Kaito stepped back. "Are you insane?!"

"Yes, there's this kid here. He broke into prize counter and stole all the prizes, destroyed two of my arcade game machines, and handcuffed another kid to a machine and left him there."

Kokichi thrust a finger. "Hey, he deserved it!"

The owner continued speaking into his phone. "Yes, officer, he's right out front atop prize counter with a bunch of kids. He's armed and dangerous. Arrest him."

Wide-eyed, Shuichi glanced at Kaito. "Arrest him? You mean–"

The doors burst open. A woman and a man holding guns kicked down the down. "POLICE! Put down your weapons!"

"Eat lead!" Double wielding, Kokichi machine-gun fired nerf bullets in their faces.

"Gah!"

Kokichi jumped off the counter. Scattering, he and the kids took off running in every direction. "You're never take us aliiiive!"

At the police station, Shuichi stood before a glass screen wall. Kaito, Keebo, and Rantaro stood in a line beside him. On the other side of the screen an officer brought out Kokichi, hands cuffed behind his back. The cop asked, "Do any of you know him?"

Shuichi shook his head. "Nope."

"Nuh uh."

"Never seen him before in my life."

Rantaro gazed up at the officer. "He's a criminal, sir. You should keep him locked up for a very long time."

"TRAITORS!" screamed Kokichi, lunging at the glass. The officer held him back. Struggling, the officer led him back out the door. "Don't act like you're innocent! I'll get you back for this! I swear! I sweeeeaaaaar!"

A Deleted Gag:

Shuichi spies Kokichi spitting out gum and sticking it on the coin slot part of arcade machine.

Shuichi: What are you doing?! Why would you do that? That's disgusting!

Kokichi: Well now no one can earn more tickets than me and win the best prizes!

Shuichi: Wait, you what?

Shuichi looks around. Sees gum on every machine they walked past.

Shuichi's eyes flash red.

Thanks for reading! Next chapter has epic fails regarding their love lives...! ^_^