Exhaling, Kokichi rolled a cherry around the inside of a bowl with a finger. He was sitting at the dorm kitchen table. In the living room space a few feet away, Kaito was splayed across the couch, reading manga and nodding off. Shuichi sat in an armchair, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Keebo swept.

"H-huh?" Kaito jerked awake. Flipped a page. Eyes drifted closed.

Shuichi slowly slid down the armchair. His thumb kept scrolling.

Swfft went Keebo's broom. Swfft. Swfft. Swfft. Swfft. Swfft.

"RRRGH!" Kokichi flipped the table, dishes shattering. "At this rate, none of us are gonna get laid! And after all those love letters and practicing love confessions with Kaito – nothing!"

Shuichi ran a hand down his face. "I don't think that was the point–"

Kaito scowled. "Yeah, it blows."

"Guys, please."

Kokichi set his hands on his hips. "Oh, don't act like you don't want some, Shuichi."

"T-that's neither here nor there!"

Keebo rested his hand atop the broomstick. "Of all of us – myself excluded – you're the least likely to engage in such intimate behavior, Kokichi."

"W-wow. Rude, Kee-boy! I'll have you know that Himiko is aaaall over me during our magic practices." Kokichi winked. "Her sleight of hand lessons are quiiite useful, if you know wh–"

"And that's why she'll never let you touch her," declared Kaito, tossing his manga aside. "Because you're a selfish, flirty asshole. If you tried being nice to her, maybe she'd be nice back. Ever thought of that?"

"But that's boring."

Shuichi leaned over the arm of the chair. "Well, which is better? Flirting without any benefits, or being nice and getting results?"

"Hm." Frowning, Kokichi crossed his arms. Held his chin. "Hmm." Furiously bit at a thumbnail. "Hmmmm!"

"Look, how about this?" Kaito pulled himself up into sitting. Arm over the couch's back, Kaito looked over at Kokichi. "In all the craziness that happened last week, we helped everyone but you with Himiko."

Shuichi coughed. Glared. "Because someone wrote fake love letters."

Keebo narrowed his eyes. "Help? Uh, you did nothing but harass me."

Kaito continued, "…so if you're nice to everyone for a whole 24 hours, we will help you with Himiko."

"I don't need help with Himiko. I need to get laid by Himiko. Or with? Is it with? See, I don't want it done to me, I wanna–"

"All right, all right! Whatever," cried Kaito, hands raised. "But if you're mean or rude or annoying to anybody in that time period, deal's off. Got it?"

"Hmph!" Arms crossed, Kokichi jut his nose in the air. "You're just making this deal because you don't think I can do it, aren't you? So meaaaan!" Kokichi bawled. Sniffing, he wiped his eyes. "Of course I can play nice. Would I lie to you?"

"Yes," answered Keebo.

Smiling, Kokichi framed his face with the back of his hands. "I wouldn't hurt a fly!"

Shuichi raised a brow. "Yesterday I saw you hosing down an ant hill."

"Exactly! I wouldn't hurt a fly!" Kokichi wagged a finger. "Just remember to fulfill your end of the bargain. Not doing so wouldn't be very nice of you…!"

Sighing, Shuichi rested his chin on his hand. "I don't remember agreeing to this."

Keebo resumed sweeping, scoffing. "Kokichi being nice? I would love to add that to my memory banks."

Yawning, Kaito stretched overhead. "It's late. It's what? 10… 10:24. I'm gonna go in my room, finish up my Fairy Tail manga, and hit the hay."

"'Night," Shuichi said as Kaito walked past.

"Goodnight, Kaito," Keebo said.

All three roommates looked to Kokichi, waiting. The leader smiled sweetly. "Nightie, night, Kaito! I hope you sleep super soundly and don't, like, mistake the wind for some ghost or banshee howling–"

"GOODNIGHT EVERYONE. SEE YOU TOMORROW."

Kaito slammed the door closed.

Humming, Kokichi set out boxes of Lucky Charms and Frosted Flakes. Behind him, Shuichi's coffee steeped. Kaito stumbled out of his bedroom, rubbing an eye. He still wore his rumpled uniform. Kokichi gestured to the spread on the table. "Look, I got everyone breakfast. Isn't that wonder–"

Shuichi opened his bedroom, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and carrying two suitcases. "Still holding your promise, huh? Good. Because we going to the beach."

"H-huh?"

Shuichi placed his suitcases by the front door before heading back to his room. "Hurry. We're already packed. And Shimoda beach is a 3-and-a-half-hour drive from Tokyo there and back."

"Wha…? The deal you made and now… You planned this?!"

Yawning, Kaito leaned against the wall by his bedroom door. He grinned. "Not really. But me and Shuichi got talking last night and came up with the idea. Without you promising to behave, you'd just, I dunno, burn the boardwalk down or something."

"Look, just because I set Nagito's hair on fire that one time–"

Someone cleared their throat. "Need I remind you…" Keebo stepped out of his bedroom, dressed in a hat, sunglasses, and a towel wrapped around his waist.

"The hell is that getup?" Kaito exclaimed.

"Need I remind you that you spent jail time after our last trip to the arcade?"

Shuichi dropped off a stereo by the door. "Will you hurry up and pack already, Kokichi?"

"Au contraire, my beloved rust bucket!" Kokichi entered his bedroom and started lying out clothes on the bed. Over his shoulder he called, "I used my one phone call to talk to Headmaster Kirigiri. Played a recording of him calling Kyoko his Pookie sugar gummy bear. Principal Jinny bailed me out in five minutes. I still got my clean record! …in Japan that is."

From outside his room, Kokichi heard Kaito exclaim, "Oh man, it's 7:30 already! We should leave within the hour. Hup to, everyone! We'll eat breakfast on the way. I'll get the girls!"

Kokichi popped his head out of his door. "We're inviting them?"

"Hell yeah, man. I wanna see 'em in bikinis!"

"Aren't they still mad at us?"

"We can just make puppy dog eyes. Or say we'll have fun and make good memories or some sappy shit like that. One of them is bound to work."

"Nee-heehee! 'Kay, I'll be ready in ten minutes!"

"Are we there yet?"

Gripping the steering wheel, Kokichi sucked in a deep breath. "No, Himiko. You're sitting shotgun so you can see the GPS says we have another hour and a–"

From the back seat of the minivan, Keebo pointed. "Stop touching the GPS! At these speeds? You'll make us crash!"

"We're on a highway, Kee-boy."

Kaito covered his mouth with a hand. "Oh man… I'm so nauseous." Beside him, Shuichi leaned away.

Kaede plugged her nose. Kicked away a burger wrapper. "What is that smell?"

Arms crossed, Maki glared out the window. "I didn't want to come."

"Forget about the smell. What's this strange stain I found?" Miu asked from the back. "Shota, were you fuckin' Himiko back here?"

"No, Miu! Not everyone's a whore bitchlet like you."

"Because if you two were fucking, I wanna move my seat–"

"No, Miu, sit down!" Keebo shouted. "And buckle up please! At these speeds–"

"I think I'm seriously gonna barf–Ulp!"

"Quick!" cried Shuichi, searching the car floor. "Anyone see a bowl for Kaito?"

Himiko offered, "Here's a Styrofoam cup."

Kaede gasped. "Ooh, I found one of those take-out salad boxes."

"Great! Give it here."

"For the love of…" Kokichi muttered. "Hold on!"

Breaking hard, Kokichi swerved sharply to the side. Everyone cried out. Kokichi pulled the car along the highway's shoulder, just beyond a large overpass. While still in motion, Kaito stumbled out of the car. He dashed to the bridge's railing and vomited into the river below.

Exhaling, Kokichi exited the car. Arms crossed, Kokichi leaned against the minivan. Behind them cars and trucks zoomed past. The wind reeked of car exhaust. Trees and a housing development lay in the distance. Tucked between hills, the sea glistened on the horizon.

Shuichi poked his head out a window. "Maybe you shouldn't have been driving 100 miles per hour one-handed."

"Hey, for your information I always drive with both hands at 170 mph!"

"Why would you ever go that fast?!"

Kaito moaned. Shaking his head, Kokichi pushed himself off the car and headed over. Gasping, Kaito ran a hand through his hair. Sweating, he sucked breaths from his open mouth like a fish out of water. "H-hey, man… could we, like… stay here a bit? I need five…"

Kokichi rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." The leader rested his arms against the guardrail. The summer's dead, still heat clung to them. Beneath them, the sunlight sparkled off the waters below.

Kokichi hummed. It's not that far down. Thirty, thirty-five feet or so…

He grinned.

"I cannot believe this…" muttered Keebo from the backseat of the minivan. The loud a/c hummed but did little more than blow hot air around. The others lounged in their seats, fanning themselves. Scowling, Keebo peeled some fuzzy Jell-O off the car floor. Disgusting. If I don't clean up after them, they never do. Like the dishes. Or how the trash spills over onto the floor before they take it out. And their laundry! Ugh, how it reeks! It has to smell like they killed three people before they run a load–

Keebo detected movement in his peripheral vision. He glanced out the car window.

Kokichi stripped off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. He climbed up the overpass railing.

"KOKICHI, NO!"

Keebo burst open the car door and ran to the leader's side. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna jump, duh."

Everyone else arrived on scene behind the robot. Kaede pressed a hand to her chest. "Why would you even think about jumping?"

Kokichi threw out his hands to the side. "Because it's hot as balls out here! And wuss Kaito here needs some time to barf up his kidney soooo… why not?"

Shuichi looked over the edge. "I don't know… It looks pretty far down."

Kokichi cupped his hands around his mouth like a megaphone. "Boooo! Wuss! Shuichi's a chicken. Bok, bok, bagok!"

Laughing, Miu brayed like a donkey. "Going limp on me now, are ya?"

Kokichi hung his head. "In front of your girlfriend no less… how embarrassing."

"Please don't use me as an excuse."

Shuichi eyed the water. Humming, he shifted on his feet.

Pumping their fists up and down, Kokichi and Miu chanted, "Grow a pair! Grow a pair! Grow a pair!"

Exhaling heavily, Shuichi flung off his Hawaiian shirt and pulled off his shoes. He dove headfirst. After a moment, Shuichi emerged from the water, shaking his head. Kokichi and Miu cheered. Grinning at Kaede, Shuichi did arm curls, showing off his biceps. Shielding her eyes, Kaede turned away.

Groaning, Keebo held his face with a hand. "Why do I call these buffoons my friends? Why?"

"Ooh, me next! I'm gonna do a sick backflip!" Kokichi climbed over the guardrail and stood preciously on the narrow outside ledge. "But first…" Grinning, Kokichi beckoned with a finger. "Himiko's gotta give me a kiss. And I don't mean one of those lame our-lips-touched kisses. I want a saucy one."

Kaede cut Himiko a sharp glance. "After last week and what they were doing? To each other?"

Himiko picked her ear. "Nyeeh… if there's something in it for me, I will."

"Don't you wanna see me backflip?"

Maki crossed her arms. "I would love to see you jump off a bridge." Kokichi glared.

Himiko sighed, but a smile tugged at her lips. She stepped up to him. "Better make it a double flip."

"Deal." Kokichi kissed Himiko. Humming, they moved their lips against each other.

Miu scoffed, "Fuckin' called it. They totally were fucking in the car."

Himiko stepped back. Inhaling, Kokichi crouched. He backflipped, and, knees to his chest, flipped once, twice, before crashing into the water. He surfaced besides Shuichi, fist in the air.

Kaito weakly clapped. "Woo."

Keebo held a hand to his mouth. "I-incredible! I've never witnessed anyone dive like that before."

"Please." Tossing her ponytail, Maki sauntered up to the railing. "That was nothing." In one smooth motion, Maki executed a backflip corkscrew over the railing. She slipped into the water with nary a splash.

Miu snickered. "Hey, Kaito."

He raised his head. Kaito's sweat glistened on his forehead. "Mmph…?"

"If you wanna see Maki's shirt clinging to her bre–" Kaito threw himself over the guardrail. "Whoa, I didn't realize you were that thirsty! Hah-haha!"

Himiko glanced over at Keebo. "You gonna try, Keebo? All the other guys are down there. Oh, wait. You'd just sink like a stone. Never mind."

Sighing, Keebo hung his head. "That's another thing to add to the list…"

"What's wrong? What's list?" asked Kaede.

"I just… I can't burp the alphabet, have nipples to twist, or a dick to brag about."

Exhaling, Kaede held her forehead with a hand. "I'm going to have a stern talking-to with them."

Miu offered, "Hey, I can make all those things for ya, Kee–"

"NO." Kaede glared.

Down below the boys laughed and shouted as they splashed each other. Maki waded a few feet away. Keebo sighed as he watched them from the railing.

Cheeks puffed out, Kaede crossed her arms. "If they were just gonna goof off, why did they invite us? Even after all those 'love letters' and the 'practicing confessing' incident last week. They still haven't given us an explanation for any of it."

"Duh-doy! It's super obvious they're doing a threeway. They ain't getting any from you chicks, so they're getting it from each other."

"Even if that is true…" drawled Himiko.

Dripping wet, Kokichi jogged up to them on the bridge. He excitedly waved his arm overhead. "Himi! Himi, Himi, Himi, Himichi!"

"…they still seem to be interested in us," finished Himiko. Walking towards him, she said, "We just have to make them choose between us girls or them."

"Make them choose?" wondered Kaede. "Hmm…"

"Come on, Himiko! I've been waiting for you jump in with us." Heaving a sigh, Kokichi shook his head. "I just knew I was gonna have to hold your hand, so I came back. Aren't I the bestest boyfriend ever?"

Himiko's knees knocked. "W-wait… you want me to jump? I mean, if I had MP I could levitate–"

Kokichi ran a hand through his dripping hair. His lavender eyes smoldered. "Do you trust me?"

Closing her eyes, Himiko sucked in a breath. She grabbed his hand and jumped.

"Wait, no! I didn't mean me too – Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" Kokichi screamed, arms and legs failing. The water splashed up at record heights.

Huffing, Kaede threaded her fingers through her hair. "Let me guess, Miu. You're gonna jump in now, too."

Trembling, Miu hugged herself. "Wh-what? You want me to get we–"

"No!" Groaning, Kaede clutched her head. "Ugh, never mind. You're all being ridiculous. Let's just get going already." Her movements tense, Kaede whipped around and starting marching to the car.

WEEE–ooo! WEEE–ooo! WEEE–ooo!

Kaede went still. Saw lights flashing in the distance.

"Oh no."

Gasping for breath, Kokichi broke through the water's surface. He coughed and hacked.

Laughing, Himiko resurfaced. Kaito and Shuichi applauded Himiko's dive. Smirking, Maki shook her head. Himiko brushed her bangs from her face. "Wow, that was amazing! But that's no surprise. I'm a level 4 water mage after a–"

"What were you thinking?!" Kokichi yelled, red-faced. "I landed head first. That hurt like hell!"

"I thought you wanted to us to jump?"

"Yeah, you then me! Not together!"

"But you said you were gonna hold my hand."

"I didn't mean literal–!"

"Guys!" Kaede's voice echoed from above. Everyone looked up. The pianist was leaning over the edge, gripping the high guardrail. "The cops are coming!"

Shuichi gasped. "The cops?"

"Again?!" Kokichi exclaimed.

Himiko frowned. "Whaddya mean again?"

"N-never mind!"

"But why?" Kaito asked.

Shuichi smacked his forehead. "That's right. Jumping off overpasses is illegal!"

Abandoning ship, Maki began swimming towards the shore.

"Say what–?! Ulp!" Kaito puked into the water.

"Ugh!" Everyone swam back.

"Disgusting!" Kokichi cried.

"Oh man…" Kaito wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Well goddamnit shit. What are we gonna do?"

Himiko shrugged. "Let's just say one of you tried to kill yourselves by jumping off a bridge. Then we jumped in after."

Kaito pointed. "Kokichi!"

"Wha–? Me?"

"Yeah dude! You see, after months of cutting yourself because from your self-hate stemming from your lies and the mask you wear every day, you decide to end it all in with one last freefall."

"The fu–?! What are you on?! It's obviously Shuichi!"

Shuichi's jaw dropped. "Wh-what?"

Himiko said, "That's what you object to?"

"He's so emo. He would do it!"

Arm behind his head, Kaito nodded. "Oh yeah, you're right. Makes sense."

"Hey!"

"Hurry up and get up here!" called Kaede. She looked back over her shoulder. "They're almost here already. I can see them! Guys!"

"To the car!" Kokichi cried.

Everyone swam to the riverbank. Although soaked and in various forms of undress, they dashed up the incline to the highway. Keebo, arm out the car window, waved them in. "Come on, come on! Here!" Keebo tossed the car keys to Kokichi.

Everyone jumped inside, doors banging behind them. Kokichi started the engine. Peeling rubber, they flew down the highway.

Maki turned around in her seat. "I don't see the police, but I hear them. It's getting fainter."

Kokichi risked a glance back. "Everyone accounted for?"

The ultimates numbly nodded. Heart pounding, everyone caught their breath.

Holding his chest, Kaito exhaled slowly. He leaned back in the passenger seat. "Oh man, that was too cl–OH SHIT!"

"What?" asked Kokichi.

"I left my galaxy coat back there! It's part of my uniform; the cops can trace it back to me at Hope's Peak!"

Silence. Outside cars blurred past.

"Get out of the car."

"What?" frowned Kaito.

"Get out of the car." Kokichi began breaking.

"Wh-what?" Kaito whipped his head to the window and back to Kokichi. "Why?"

"Just get out of the car!" Screeching, the car came to a near standstill.

"But–"

"Get out of the car!" Kaito shrank back, hand on the car handle. "GET OUT OF THE CAR!"

"O-okay, okay!" Kaito opened the door and stepped out.

Kokichi floored the gas. Kaito fell back on his bum. Tires spelching, the car took off. Disappeared out of sight.

"W-what? You're leav…" Kaito jumped up and ran after them, middle finger in the air. "FUCK YOU GUYS! FUCK YOU!"

His screams echoed unanswered in the valley.

The police sirens came closer.

Next chapter: They finally arrive at the beach. And just as the boys are relaxing, the girls notice something is up with them... and they're determined to put an end to their shenanigans and force them to make the ultimate choice: the girls or their bonds as bros.

Thanks for reading this! Next chapter is a doozy and I can't wait for you guys to see it. :D