It was three days after the most awkward dinner of Dave's life that he heard from Blaine and Kurt again. They had sent him home that night with the decision that they wanted to try it but no idea when. He'd been prepared to wait a few weeks, maybe even months, before he heard from them. But Blaine and Kurt were always full of surprises. When the phone rang, he answered it hurriedly. "Hello?"
"Dave. It's me, Blaine."
"Hi, Blaine."
"Are you free this weekend?"
"Um," Dave said, caught off guard and trying to picture his calendar in his mind. "I think so. Why?"
"We're ready to try."
"This weekend?"
"Yeah. Kurt says if he puts it off any longer than that, he won't go through with it." There was rustling noise in the background and a few muffled sounds that seemed like they could be words. Dave couldn't quite make them out. Then, Blaine's voice, "Kurt says the sooner the better."
Dave smiled. He was glad Kurt was saying anything at all. "Before we do anything," he said, reaching forward to grab a notebook off of the coffee table, "we need to discuss rules, safewords, and consequences. So, we might not actually get to start this weekend. Those discussions can take a long time." He wasn't sure if Blaine heard everything he said since there was more rustling and muffled sounds.
Then, "Are you free on Thursday?"
"Uh," Dave really didn't want to tell him that he had nothing going on ever. "Let me check." He set the phone down for a second and made a show of flipping through the pages of his notebook before picking back up. "Yes. Why?"
"Come over for dinner," Blaine told him. "We can work everything out and then start this weekend."
Dave wasn't sure how he felt about that plan. "Are you sure? That doesn't give the two of you very long to adjust to..." he trailed off, "this." He gestured around with his hand though Blaine couldn't see.
There was loud rustling and then Kurt said, "I want to do it now, Karofsky, before I lose my nerve."
Dave was a little taken aback; no one had called him Karofsky since high school. And, not only that, but Kurt sounded angry. "Okay," he said. "Okay. I just wanted to be sure that's what you wanted."
"It is," came the short reply. Then more rustling.
Blaine's voice came back on the line. "So, you'll be here Thursday night for dinner?"
"Uh, yeah," Dave said. "I guess so."
"What kind of pizza do you like? We're ordering in."
"Pepperoni?"
"Great! See you Thursday!" And Blaine hung up.
Dave sat back on the couch with a sigh. In some ways, he was glad they were just jumping into it. It made the waiting less awful. But, there were a lot of things for him to think about over the next couple of days. He looked warily at his phone for a moment before picking up his pen and beginning to jot down notes.
On Thursday night, Dave knocked on Kurt and Blaine's apartment door. As he stood there, waiting for someone to answer, he thought about how he'd been right there just a week before with very different thoughts running through his mind. This time, instead of a bottle of wine, he had his notebook full of notes held tightly in his fist.
Kurt answered the door a moment later, a large smile plastered on his face. "Dave!" he said happily. "It's so good to see you again!" He let him into the apartment and then threw his arms around him in a big hug.
This was not what Dave was expecting. "Hi," he greeted, looking across the room to Blaine, who was setting out paper plates and napkins.
"Come in!" Kurt said, bouncing a little bit toward the table. "We have the pizza, and we're ready to talk!"
I guess we're just jumping in, then, Dave thought as he followed Kurt toward the table.
Blaine gave him a smile as he approached. "Hi, Dave," he said. As Kurt headed into the kitchen, Blaine whispered, "He's just nervous. He'll go back to himself in a little while."
Dave nodded, taking a seat at the table. He could see that. And Kurt had every right to be nervous; this was a big deal, and he was sure the poor man had no idea what to expect.
After everyone had a few slices of pizza on their plate and a drink in front of them, Dave found himself being stared at by two sets of expectant eyes. He took a bite of pizza, hoping they would take a cue, but he could tell that did nothing to change their minds. "Were you wanting to start now?" he asked cautiously, looking between the pair.
Kurt nodded vigorously. "If that's okay with you," he hurried to add.
"I guess now's as good a time as any," Dave said, not sure he really felt that way. He flipped open his notebook and glanced at what he'd written. Then, fixing his gaze on Kurt, he asked, "Has Blaine talked to you about anything that we used to do?"
"N-no," Kurt said, swallowing a bite of pizza. "Was he supposed to?"
"No. I just wondered. Many of the things I've written down are things I did with him. I was just curious." He could tell that Kurt was getting more outwardly nervous now, no longer trying to cover it up. He cleared his throat. "First things first. Safewords. I like the traffic light system: green, yellow, and red."
Blaine nodded. "That works well."
"What is the traffic light system? What's it for?"
"Safewords," Dave explained, trying not to feel exasperated that Kurt knew nothing about this, "are for when things get..." he searched for the right words, "to be too much," he finally decided. "If I'm asking you to do something that you think is unreasonable, or you are scared of something, you can use these words if you need us to talk about what's going on or stop completely." He paused, watching as Kurt nodded his understanding. "Yellow means that we need to slow down and talk. Red means we need to stop. Green is where I want you to be, always."
"I only used my safeword once, in the beginning," Blaine explained around a bite. "We jumped into playing, and then I got into big trouble. I used yellow so we could talk about my punishment before I got it."
"Okay," Kurt said, feeling a little bit better. "I think that will work."
"Good," Dave said, taking a few more bites of his pizza. He glanced down at his notes again. "I guess the next thing we should cover is the rules."
Kurt took a deep breath at this. This was one think he wasn't looking forward to about this arrangement, even less than the punishments. He didn't want rules that would make him feel restricted. But, he forced himself to take a few bites of pizza, listening as Dave spoke.
"Really, my rules are pretty simple. There aren't too many of them," Dave said, looking between the two boys. It amazed him that Blaine looked so much more relaxed than Kurt did. Kurt's eyes were full of apprehension, and he'd barely been able to eat a slice of pizza. Blaine, on the other hand, had put down a few slices and was watching him intently, interested.
"The first one and probably biggest one is listening to me. If I tell you to do something, I want you to listen and do as you're told. Telling me 'no' or just not doing it is not going to be allowed."
"That one's hard," Blaine whispered, sounding a little bit far away.
Dave decided to keep a closer eye on Blaine. He was afraid that talking about this might send Blaine into little space since he clearly seemed to need it and hadn't been there for so long.
"What if I don't like what you tell me to do?" Kurt questioned. "Do I still have to do it?"
Dave smiled at that. "You'll probably run into that a lot. When you're little, you're going to want to do whatever sounds fun, and I may not always let you."
"So, what am I supposed to do if I don't agree with what you tell me to do?"
"Tell me you want to talk about it. I'll always talk to you about my directions; you just have to ask." That answer seemed to appease Kurt, so Dave went back to his list, stealing a glance at Blaine. "Honesty. That's the second rule. Lying or omitting the truth won't help anyone in this type of arrangement."
Kurt nodded. That one seemed pretty straight forward.
"Blaine?" Dave prompted. "Do you agree with that rule?"
Blaine nodded, not speaking.
Dave raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing, moving on. "Respect. I expect you to be respectful at all times."
"What does that mean?" Kurt questioned.
"Basically, following the rules is the best way to show respect. But, there are other things, too. Yelling, calling me or Blaine names, and interrupting me when I'm speaking are all types of disrespectful behavior."
Kurt grew very quiet, looking down at the pizza crust on his plate. He wanted to look at Blaine to see how he was taking this, but he didn't really want to look at Dave. How did he tell him he didn't think that seemed fair?
Blaine was feeling...weird. A big part of him didn't want to talk anymore. He just wanted to crawl into Dave's lap and watch a movie until he fell asleep, but he was also worried about Kurt. So, he looked at his husband, taking in his defeated posture and bowed head. A little part of him came back, and he scooted his chair closer, leaning over to whisper, "What's wrong?"
"I don't think that one's fair," Kurt whispered back, not looking up.
"So tell Dave," Blaine prompted.
Kurt shook his head. "I can't." He sounded close to tears.
"Kurt doesn't think that the respect rule is fair," Blaine said, meeting Dave's eyes.
Dave had been watching the two of them closely. He could tell Kurt was upset about something, and he wished he could do something to help him feel more comfortable talking about it. So, he was glad when Blaine did for him. "Why don't you think it's fair, Kurt?" Dave asked gently.
"How am I supposed to express myself if everything is against the rules?" Kurt asked, finally looking up with teary eyes.
Dave looked at Blaine for clarification, but he looked as confused as Dave felt. So, he tried, "Can you explain that?"
"When I get upset, sometimes I yell or call people names. How am I supposed to tell you that I'm upset if I'm not allowed to express myself?" He was starting to get angry, his hands forming into fists on the table.
Instead of answering Kurt, Dave said, "Blaine, what was one of the reasons you called me about doing this?"
"Kurt and I were fighting all the time," Blaine whispered, suddenly self-conscious.
"Was there yelling? Or name calling?"
Blaine nodded.
"Do you see, Kurt?" Dave asked, turning back to him. "The point of these rules, of starting this arrangement in the first place, is to help you learn new ways to handle things if the old ways aren't working."
Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He closed it again, nodding. He still didn't think it was fair, but at least it made sense now.
"Blaine, you're okay with it, too?" Dave asked, looking at him again.
Blaine nodded. "I get it," he said quietly.
"Good. Only two more," Dave said. "No cursing, and use your manners. Four and five." He looked back and forth between the two men in front of him.
"No cursing," Blaine said. "What's considered a bad word?" They'd had this rule before, but he hadn't cursed much back then. He still didn't, but Kurt could have a mouth like a sailor.
"Nothing stronger than crap," Dave said, decisively. "As a general rule in life, I don't like cursing. It's not just an ageplay thing." He paused, making sure there were no protests. "So, we agree on those five rules?"
Both Kurt and Blaine nodded.
"Alright then. Shall we move on?"
"Punishments," Blaine said quietly, looking at Kurt.
Kurt grabbed his husband's hand, not sure he was prepared for this conversation. "Go ahead," he whispered.
"Punishments are pretty simple. I only use spanking as a last resort or for something major. Otherwise, there could be timeouts, removal of privileges, mouth soaping, or writing lines." Dave checked off the things on his list, wanting to be sure he hadn't forgotten something. He'd done a lot of research when he started with Blaine, and he knew you never wanted to surprise a little with a punishment.
Kurt was surprised; those weren't as bad as he'd imagined. He looked at Blaine who was squeezing his hand tightly. "What do you think?" he asked Blaine, hoping he wasn't underestimating anything.
"Those were the same punishments I had," Blaine told him, sounding far away again. "I didn't like them, but they weren't so bad."
Kurt nodded. "Those are fine, then."
Dave was surprised. That was much easier than he'd imagined. "No questions about the punishments?" he clarified. When he was met with silence and shaken heads, he said, "Good. Do you have any questions about anything else then?"
"Should we call you daddy?" Blaine asked. That had been bothering him since he asked Dave to do this with them.
"That's typically how it's done," Dave replied, picking up another piece of pizza that had grown cold. "But I understand if that makes you uncomfortable. We can work something else out."
Blaine looked at Kurt. "What do you think?" he asked softly.
Kurt shrugged. "It would be weird to call him daddy. But, I can try." I guess, he thought.
"You don't have to," Dave told them. He took a few bites of pizza, thinking. "You could just call me...Dave." He wasn't sure that was a good idea, but he couldn't think of anything else that he would be okay with. He would really prefer some separation from Dave as caregiver and Dave as a friend, but if they weren't okay with it, he could be okay with Dave. Eventually.
"No, I'll try," Kurt said, voice a bit more certain.
"Daddy it is, then," Dave said, smiling. He was trying to make this as comfortable as possible. He couldn't deny that it would be awkward at first, but perhaps if he acted like it was normal, they would, too.
The rest of the evening went quickly. Blaine and Kurt asked a few more questions, but for the most part, they all tried to have a normal evening, the conversation moving on to other topics. A few hours later, Dave announced that he needed to go, and, to his surprise, both men escorted him to the door.
"You'll be back tomorrow night, right?" Kurt asked.
"That's the plan," Dave said.
"Are you spending the night?" This was a question from Blaine. He didn't make eye contact.
"Is that something you'd like me to do?" Dave asked, stepping back into the apartment and closing the door. They hadn't talked about this yet; there was no reason the whole building should be aware of what was going on.
"We want to do this all weekend," Kurt said. "It would save time if you stayed here. But, if you don't want to, that's okay, too."
"It's fine with me," Dave said. "I just wanted to be sure you wouldn't feel that I was intruding on your life too much. This is a big change, and you may need some time away from me to adjust to what I'm asking of you." He searched Kurt's eyes to make sure he understood before reaching out and tipping Blaine's chin up until their eyes met. "Do you understand?"
Blaine nodded. "We'd like you to stay," he said.
"Then I'll stay."
"Thank you," Kurt whispered, wrapping Dave in a hug. He was nervous about tomorrow, but excited at the same time. He hadn't believed Blaine at first, didn't agree that this was a good idea. But the more he heard about it, the more he wanted this to help them relax and enjoy their lives. Maybe it was unconventional, not something that everyone needed, but he'd never wanted to be normal.
"You're welcome," Dave said. He gave Blaine a hug, too, then opened the door and headed down the hallway. "See you tomorrow," he called over his shoulder.
