Katara looked around her as she took in the soft blue white light surrounding her and felt herself feel a sense of peace and calm.
She slowly turned herself in circles looking for something…. Anything.
But it was just…... empty.
She finally turned to the left and saw a brighter blue light and felt the peace surround her like a blanket. She slowly started to walk towards it, feeling lighter with each step.
But each step closer and she felt less and less whole…. Almost as if she was fading away as she stepped closer to the light.
She felt wrong…... like she was missing something…. Like she was walking away from something important. But the light was so bright…. It called to her like a beacon… like the Sun.
Wait she thought, "The sun… I need something… someone." She paused and looked around in a circle again.
Something was not right… something, but what was it….
She shook her head as the confusion set in…... the light called to her, but it was wrong…. the light felt wrong…. It was cold… it should be warm…. there was something that she was missing.
Then she heard it, so soft… echoing so lightly she had to strain to hear it.
"Even if you're lost you can't lose…
She paused, her heart starting to race. She knew that song…. she knew it, it meant something.
"Lose the love because it's in your heart…" Echoed around her as she tried to figure out where it was coming from.
"Hum hum hum…..." She knew that voice… she knew that sound, her heart racing…...
She took a step closer to it needing to hear it more clearly and paused when the peace in her body started to slide away to pain… But then she heard the voice again...
"You are in my heart …..."and she was walking towards the voice, not caring about the uncomfortable feeling coursing through her.
"And I will always win as long as I have you…..." Each step that took her closer to the voice the peace faded but soon the pain started to spread, and she paused again, her hand grasping at her stomach. She took a step back towards the light and the pain started to fade away but then the voice called out again.
"Hum hum hum hum…" And she looked around again…. Then started walking forward again not pausing when the pain started to spread… this time the voice calling her was worth the pain to see who it was.
"You are my light in the darkness…..." Was whispered all around her as the pain became searing hot through her stomach. But still she walked forward… to the voice that called her like the sun again.
But this time while her body was starting to throb…. tremble…. wither in pain. Her heart became lighter…. It was like while her body was dying her heart was rejoicing at the sound of this voice.
"You are my sun…." It whispered to her…. "You are my life." She pushed as the sweat started to roll down her face, the pain pushing her to bend over in half as she stumbled forward.
"With you I will never lose.…" She paused at the heart break in the voice, "Please Katara…. I need you…. We need you." And then she started to run to the voice….. no longer caring about anything but the voice.
"Please…" it echoed around her and a light flashed, and heat surrounded her, and she gasped as the memories flooded her mind.
"Zuko." She whispered as the tears started to stream down her face, "I hear you." She started to run but the voice stopped, and she couldn't find her way anymore…...
She turned in circles, looking everywhere…. her heart racing as everything started to look the same…. The pale blue light echoing every way she turned, even the light had faded away, leaving her in nothing…. She gasped her breath coming out harshly as the fear of losing Zuko came over her.
Her heart felt like it was going to explode, her fear at not finding him taking over…. She turned frantically, over and over, looking searching…. Begging….
"Please" She whispered, "I need you to call me…I can't find you." Falling to her knees. But she was met with silence…. With emptiness and pain.
"Please Zuko….. please." She whispered as the tears slid down her face, "please…."
"He can't hear you." A voice next to her said softly.
Katara's head snapped up, "Who are you?" She looked at the beautiful young woman, "You seem familiar." She said clenching at the pain in her stomach.
The young woman smiled, "You ran towards the voice…. Towards the pain." The woman said looking around the vast blue light, "You left the peace behind for a voice you did not even know."
Katara nodded trying to breath the pain and gasped at the blood in her hand before looking up at the woman, "I knew that voice… in my heart…. I needed to go to it… there was so much pain in it and I wanted to make it better." She said, "I knew even if I didn't know…... my heart knew."
The woman nodded, "I was waiting to see how strong your bond is…. I was trying to see if you would really be our yin and yang." She paused and waved her hand to create a pillow to kneel on, "I needed to see if you balanced each other…if you pushed and…" She paused to give a soft smile, "pull back to one another. I didn't think I would ever truly find out until this happened."
She smiled sadly over at Katara, "I wanted to find out….. but not with your death." She said softly.
Katara frowned, "I am dead?" She asked softly.
The young lady shook her head, "Not yet…... but close…. if you had walked into the light you would have passed into the spirit world." She said after pausing to look around, "Your middle place is different than most…... most water benders see water and waves…... with boats… you have a light."
Katara frowned, her blood pooling around her a dark red in contrast to the soft bright blue light, "I did not pick this." She said to the woman.
The woman smiled at her, "Sure you did…. It was your subconscious … even in death you look for your light…..." She waved her hand around, "In your death you look for your yang… it brings you peace."
Katara gave a soft smile, "His light is my peace…. His flame….. it brings me warmth… happiness… love." She said feeling the pain spread to chest. She frowned, "He is hurting."
The young woman gave a soft sad nod, "You are his yin… he will be off balance without you…..they will be off balance."
Katara frowned, "They?" She asked confused as the pain spread.
The woman gave a nod, "Zuko….. and your daughter." She said softly.
And in a rush the day came back to her…. The memories… the pain…... the fear…. And she gasped, "Is she ok?"
The woman smiled, "Yes you delivered her, and she is safe and healthy…. Would you like to see her?" She asked softly.
Katara gave a small nod, "Yes please…. can I see them?" she said softly.
The woman waved her hand and a small puddle of water formed in front of them, "Look to your family." She said softly.
Katara looked down and gasped when she saw Zuko laying on the grass under their tree and in his arms was nestled both her and their daughter. She looked up at the woman, "We are there…. I am there." Tears sliding down her face.
The woman nodded, "Even now he refuses to let you go…. He brought you to your place with your daughter and was singing… calling out to you." She said softly.
The young woman gave a soft nod, "He is unbalanced…... missing you…" she paused and looked at Katara with a frown, "Just like you are missing him and hurting….. but your thoughts are for him?"
Katara gave a nod, "Of course…... I don't want him hurting ever…. And never because of me." She sighed, "Will he be ok without me?"
"He will survive, but…..." The young woman shrugged, "Survival is different from thriving." She said confusing Katara as she started to fade away.
"Wait." She called out, "What does that mean?"
The young woman shook her head, "You need to think about what you want…. If you go back will the pain of the rest of your life be worth it." She said pointing to Katara's body, "or you can have peace…. You can watch over them from afar." Then she was gone and Katara gasped as the imagine floated in the water and she started to sob.
What if she went back and could not protect them…. What if she was not who she was …. What if …. She felt the tears stream down her face. If she left…. could she watch over them and protect them… she felt lost as the pain swam through her body, radiating from her stomach. It felt like the pain was growing…... expanding… taking over every thought and nerve ending. She looked down at Zuko face…. The pain he was feeling even in his sleep under the tree and she remember the promise she made so long ago….
Katara felt the tears stream down her face as she pulled the bag over her shoulder and left out of the palace doors. She pulled the hood over her head as she ran down the stairs past the guards knowing they would stop her on Zuko's orders. She could barely breath the farther she went away from the palace, but she knew she had to go.
There as too much fighting…. Too much disagreement…... too much at stake…. An entire nation would fall if she did not leave. She would not be the cause of others fighting…... of other people's pain.
She turned into the market keeping her head down as she rushed away…... rushed away from the happiness…. Ran from Zuko. She gasped as the pain ran through her body remembering the argument they had last week in the throne room.
The counsel had just walked out and while they were not thrilled that the future Fire Lady would be a water bender they were being won over by the fact that she was a war hero, master water bender, and for the last three years been a ambassador they knew well. They had seen what she had done for last three years for both their nation and the world and they were impressed. It helped that for the last 3 months, since the moment Zuko asked her to be his wife that day she had confessed her feelings she had stayed in the Fire Nation and started working with the counsel and different charities. They saw her commitment to the nation and that her allegiance was to the Fire nation but more then that they saw her devotion to the Fire Lord, and they saw that their Fire Lord was happy.
They did not care that he was suddenly happy, but they did care that his rule seemed to take on an entire new level of care and work ethic. He had always been committed but now he was… just more…. It was like he found his balance with Lady Katara and his nation was benefiting from it.
So, no they were not thrilled with a Water Bender as the next Fire Lady… but they were thrilled with her commitment and the balance she brought to the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation…. It didn't hurt that they could use it to further the peace treaty between Fire and Water Nations.
Katara walked over and slid into Zuko's lap as he sat in his throne, "That went better then I thought." She said kissing his jaw making him smile as he wrapped his arms around her. "I think we may actually be able to set a date next meeting."
Zuko gave a grin, "I already set a date… they just have not been told." He said wrapping his hand around her neck bringing her mouth up to his. He gave a chuckle when he felt her lips curl not a smile and her whisper, "Oh yea… and what day is that?"
Zuko groaned as she licked his bottom lip, "Tomorrow?" He whispered back and smiled when she laughed, "Ok…. Not tomorrow… but on the new summer solstice.…. Starting the new year and the new Sun for our new marriage."
Katara pulled back in a gasp, "That is in 6 weeks Zuko…. That is too soon." She said eyes wide.
Zuko shrugged, "There is no such thing as too soon for you to belong to me and me alone…... but that day is the prefect day for us and our nation…. I already talked to uncle who has started some of the planning secretly. He also made you an appointment to see the dress maker next week." He gave her a gentle kiss, "Think about it…... we will already be celebrating and there will already be parties…. So, less planning."
Katara shook her head, "It will take our families and friends 2-3 weeks to get here and they will need time to plan their time off and clothes." She said sitting up taller in his lap.
Zuko gave her another grin, "What if I already sent out the letters to them weeks ago…. Telling them to come two weeks before for a wedding but to keep it quiet?" He said holding her hips.
Katara narrowed her eyes, "I would say…. what if I disagreed with your plan?" She asked putting her hands on her hips.
Zuko gave a mock frown, "I would have begged you… pleaded with you and if all else failed tied you up and kidnapped you to the alter." He said in a serious voice.
Katara rolled her eyes, "Fine…. I also think that that day just might be prefect." She sighed and placed her head on his chest, "It is actually the prefect date…... you are good my love."
Zuko tucked his chin on the top of her head, "I know…... the oracle said the summer solstice or the change of winter would be the best… and I know that I can not wait another 10 months to marry you." He said tightening his arms around her. "I just want you to be mine in the eyes of the world and have you always at my side."
Katara gave a chuckle, "I am already always by your side…. You have already moved me to the Fire Lady's chambers but I don't even sleep there, and everyone knows it…. Just like I attend all of the meetings and do the Fire Lady's charity works and communities already…. We are practically married already." She said brushing her hand down his chest.
Zuko gave a slight shake of his head, "Practically is not the same as actually…. I want to claim you as my own forever in this life and the next…. I want you to be able to claim me and walk into any room and the people bow to you…" He paused kissing the top of her head, "I want to bind you to me in everyway possible."
Katara gave a small smile and tucked her head under his chin tighter, "I want that too…. So it sounds like we will be married in 6 weeks." She sighed, "You will tell the advisors... not me though."
Zuko rubbed his chin on her head as his hands trailed down her sides, "Most already know… I had to have Uncle tell them to change some of the plans for the celebrations and to get a feel for the resistance we face…. I didn't want to tell you incase we would have to fight more with them….." He threaded his hand into her hair trailing down her back, "I am telling you now because they have all agreed."
Katara pulled back with a smile, "Really?" She yelled, the excitement moving through her eyes, "They agreed not only to our marriage but to a date?"
Zuko smiled at the woman in his lap and felt his heartbeat widely, "Yes and yes…. It is why I can give you this now." He said pulling a necklace from his pocket.
Katara gasped as she sat up in his lap looking at it, tears starting to form in her eyes.
Zuko frown, "I know it is not traditional." He said starting to worry, "I can get you something different." He said starting to pull it back when she still didn't speak but froze when she grasped his hands, tears streaming down her face.
"Zuko…. It is… it is prefect." She whispered looking at it carefully. She ran her fingers over the giant deep red center stone surround in silver medal with miniature blue and sliver stones surrounding it. The threaded necklace was made of red and blue ribbon plaited together to the point where is almost looked purple. Her hands shook at it, "It is everything that I could have imagined." She said looking up at him in the eyes, "It is us mixed for the perfect balance."
Zuko finally felt his fear release, "It is…. The red stone was my mothers." He whispered softly then he gave her a soft kiss, "And the mini blue and sliver stones are from your mother… I … sent a letter and asked your father for his permission to marry you and asked him to send these for your necklace the day after I asked you to stay with me." He watched as she gasped looking at the necklace, "He sent them to me the next month along with his permission."
Katara's breath caught in a gasp as she looked up at him, "You did?" She asked softly and at his nod she gave a trembling smile, "I love you." She whispered as she pulled him in for a deep kiss. Zuko pulled her in wrapping his arms tight around her gasping in her mouth when she brushed her hands down his face, "You are my dream come true… my light…..." She paused to pull back and look into his eyes. "Can you put it on me?" She asked softly.
Zuko nodded and pulled the necklace and placed it at her throat before having her turn to face him, "Perfect." He said his hand covering the stone on her chest, "It is where it belong now." He said looking up into her eyes, "You are mine now…... forever."
Katara smiled and brushed her fingers down his face, "And you are mine forever." Zuko reached up and brushed his thumb down her cheek wiping away the tears that spread. "You are water and I am fire…. We balance each other out in every way…... you are my Yin."
Katara smiled and softly kissed his scar, "And you are my Yang." She said softly before pushing her face into his chest and sighing. They sat there for a few moments just settling in with each other before the door to the throne room was slammed open. Zuko quickly stood and turned setting Katara on the throne behind him while raising the fire wall between them and the door. It happened in a matter of seconds but in the next moment Zuko saw through the fire that it was Aang. He slowly slid the fire wall down, "Aang….. how are you?" He asked carefully, one of his hands reaching behind him to hold onto Katara.
Katara slowly stood and walked around Zuko to stand next to him, even now she would be his partner, not hide behind him. "Aang…. I missed seeing you each day." She said softly sliding her hand into Zuko's. She would not hide what she had with Zuko while she also understood that she had to tread carefully. "How are the air nomads?"
Aang narrowed his eyes at their hands before she could feel the air around them start to stir. "You missed me…. Funny that you missed me enough to come straight to him and become engaged." His body started to rise as the anger pulsed through him, "You have been with him for years haven't you… all this time I spent loving you… you were with him." He yelled.
Zuko looked up at the guards who came through the door and held up his hand in caution, waving them out of the room. When they slowly backed out and closed the door he looked over to Katara who had gasped at Aang and pulled her hand away from his to walk down the stairs, "Is that what you really think…... that I would do that to you?" She asked softly, hurt in her voice.
Zuko walked down the stairs to stand behind her and place his hands on her shoulders. He waited to see what she wanted to say, letting her lead the way she wanted, "I would never do that Aang….. I would never hurt you if I could stop it." She whispered.
Aang nodded at her, "Fine then come with me." He said holding out his hand to her and Zuko felt his hands clench at her shoulders before slowly loosening again refusing to make her choice for her. But he felt his heart stop when she took another step away from him and down the stairs towards Aang, his arms failing to his sides as the fear of losing her clenched his heart.
But he took a breath when her heard her say softly, "Aang…. Even if I was not with Zuko I could not be with you… we are too different…. I tried to love you the way you wanted me to Aang… I tried for 2 years but it was always me loving you as a friend…. A best friend…. And it was always you… loving who you wanted me to be… not me."
Aang shook his head, "No you are lying. I love you Katara, I have since the moment that I met you." He said still holding his hand out.
Katara shook her head, "What do you love about me?" She asked softy, "What about ME Aang do you love?"
Aang shook his head, "Everything…. You are beautiful and kind…. you love to travel with me, and you love to help and create schools with me." He said, "So come back with me."
Katara shook her head with a small sad smile, "There was so much of you in that sentence Aang…. I hate traveling that much…. I feel like I never have a home… never have a place to be…. I like helping but air nomads is not my passion, air nomad schools are not something that I enjoy. And yes, I am kind… I hope… but so are so many people…. And thank you for thinking I am beautiful, but my looks are not who I am." She sighed shaking her head, "Aang…... you are one of the best friends that I have ever had, and I do not want to lose you but I love you as a friend…... I love you as a brother… as I love Soka."
Aang shook his head, "NO…. you are mine… you have always been mine." He walked closer to her, "Now come with me….."
Katara took a step back as he walked forward making him pause, "I can't go with you Aang….. I am marrying Zuko….. while I never was with him while we were together you were not wrong that I have always loved him….. he is my soul mate Aang… even before I recognized it… before I would admit it… my heart was his…" She laughed and she whispered, "It was you that opened my eyes that he held my heart."
She gasped as Aang's eyes began to light up and he slowly lifted higher in the air, "NO. .. YOU…ARE… MINE"
Katara shook her head and yelled over the wind flowing through the room, "Aang… I am not a possession… you cannot OWN me or claim me if I don't want you too." She felt Zuko's hands on her shoulders as he pulled her closer to him and tucked her under his arm. But this act was what pushed Aang over the edge and he lashed out picking Zuko up with his wind and slamming him in the wall.
Katara went to rush over to help him, but Aang's wind pushed her back against the other wall. "Aang stop it." She yelled over the wind pushing her and Zuko against opposite walls.
Aang turned to her, "I will never stop Katara... never…. You will always be mine and I will destroy anything …. Anyone in the way of that." He said darkly.
Katara shook her head, "That is not who you are Aang…... you are the avatar and you value peace and forgiveness." She said pushing away from the wall making Aang turn From Zuko who was trying to Push against the wind without bending fire at him.
"That was before he tried to steal you from me." He said pointing at Zuko. "He broke our peace to take you from me." He yelled.
Katara shook her head, "NO Aang… I came here…. I told him that I loved him… I risked him hating me forever because I didn't know that he cared about me…... I CAME HERE…..ME Aang…. Leave Zuko alone." She gasped tears sliding down her face and she watched Aang push Zuko up the wall with his wind. While she had been pressed carefully against the wall, Zuko was being slammed and dragged around. "Please stop hurting him."
Aang looked at her, "You still protect him…. He can't even fight for you." He said flicking his wrist making Zuko slide to the side and Katara pushed hard to run to stand in between them and screamed at Aang, her anger finally coming out, "NO…. he is refusing to fight with you…. For me…. For your friendship…... he is refusing to fight because he feels bad that you are hurting…. He is being peaceful for you." She yelled. "He knows that you are not hurting me, so he is letting you take your anger out on him." She said holding up her hands, "But I will not let you hurt him anymore.
Aang narrowed his eyes at her, "So you will stand against me also…... you will stay here with him…. You will choose him?" he asked carefully lowering his feet back to the ground, his wind dying down, "You will create a war between me and the fire nation and the water nation to be with him." He eyes filled with hate… and sadness and pain.
Katara gasped at him, "Aang… you don't mean that." She said softly lowering her hands as Zuko pushed himself to his feet.
Aang stood taller, pulling himself up to look her in the eye, "If you stay here… with him…. I will see that as betrayal by both the Fire Nation and Water Nation against me and everything that I have done." He said softly but firmly…. "If I can not have you. I will not let him have you in peace either."
Katara gasped as she fell to the floor as Aang turned and walked out the door. Zuko slowly came up behind her to gather her in his arms as she started sobbing. "Shhhhhh it is ok." He whispered into her hair, "It's going to be fine, love." He said brushing her hair back, "We will figure this out."
"How Zuko." She asked eyes filling as she clenched him, "We can't fix this." She said shaking her head at him. Zuko frowned at her, "Yes we will." He said kissing her forhead.
But a week had passed and nothing had been fixed… Katara and Zuko had argued and tried to come up with a plan but it always ended with Zuko saying he refused to lose her and Katara saying she refused to be the reason two nations finally at peace went back to war and pain. Last night their arguing had been practically forceful as she shook her head at him when he said he give up his crown before he gave her up. In that moment she knew she could not take away the Fire Nations Lord when he had and was doing so much for them. It would make her as selfish as Aang accused her of it. So, she created a plan after he fell asleep in her arms that night, brushing his hair back as he held her tight. It was almost as if he knew she was going to sneak away.
She had kissed him that morning before he left his meeting, had told him how much she loved him. Had lied to him for the first time as she said she was going to the counsel lunch at noon for the hospital. Then watch him leave their room. She had sat and wrote him a letter of her love, of her promise to never let him go while urging him to find a new future…. a new wife…. one that could help his nation. Then she had slipped out of the palace into the bright morning with tears streaming down her face.
Now she was running, passing people refusing to look at them as she kept her hood over her head, her clothes red and black and plain so she blended in with the crowd. She heard shouts behind her and looked up in surprise. She turned to face the wall as palace guards ran past her, it was too soon for Zuko to know she was gone. It was not even noon yet and she had set it up so he would not come look for her until after her meeting which would not have been finished until well after 3pm.
She took a deep breath waiting until the guards had ran past and then took the opposite way, quickly darting down an ally and to the outskirts of the city. She had been walking steadily away from the palace towards the docks with the ships so she could get on one but now that the guards were moving that way, she moved to the opposite other way…. Towards the desert. This was not her plan; she had not brought the right clothes or supplies for the desert, but she also could not go to the docks when there were guards there looking for her.
She slipped into bar with rooms above for rent and after a quick payment was upstairs looking carefully through the windows watching the palace guards flooding the streets. She sighed and covered her face as her plan went to hell, sinking to the rickety bed. She stayed inside the room until darkness fell watching the outside waiting and hoping for a moment to slip outside.
But she waited too long as she heard the doors downstairs to the bar slam open and guards rushing in shouting for the owner. She slipped down the stairs to watch from the shadows to see Zuko march in behind them. She pushed herself into the shadows, pulling the hood closer to her face.
Zuko looked around and eyes narrowed, "I am looking for Master Water Bender Katara….. she went missing this morning and the Fire nation must find her as soon as possible." Zuko boomed out to the room making Katara shake her head. He was smart and tricky, he was not saying she ran away, but that she may have been taken… so people would look for her and turn her into the guards. She pushed even deeper into the shadows, but it was like he could feel her, and his head turned looking into the crowd…. Into the corner where she hid. "There is a reward for any who find her and bring her safely to me." He said with narrowed eyes where she was standing. She could not stay here, she turned and slid along the wall until she hit the door to the back ally. She slowly slid out the door and made her way along ally until she came out to the street. She kept to the shadows as she moved down the street, back tracking towards the docks. Now that the guards and Zuko were looking for her at the bar she could try to slip onto the docks and onto a boat.
She heard a sound behind her and started to walk faster while glancing back behind her. When she saw a flash of red and black robes she took off at a run, turning a corner and running straight into a hard chest making her gasp as hands reached out and grabbed her arms so she didn't stumble back. She felt the heat coming off and knew without looking up that Zuko standing in front of her. She tried to slip to the side, not raising her face and go past him but his hand shot out and grabbed her arm pulling her back to him. He did not say anything, just gently pulled her over to the dakyu and grabbed her by the waist to set her in it. When she went to get down, she finally realized he was not just upset…. He was furious… seething.
"SIT." He snarled at her, "You will not move." He said climbing up next to her. He nodded at the driver and sat back looking out the side away from her.
She finally pulled the courage and spoke, "Zuko?" She asked softly. But he did not say anything, just kept his back to her as he looked away. "Zuko…. Please." Her hand reaching out to lay on his arm that was almost burning but jerked when he pulled away from her sharply.
"No." He said softly, "Not now."
Katara reached out again, needing to touch him when she had passed the day thinking she would never see him… never touch him again but tears started to fall when he pulled away again. "Zuko…" She said softly at him but sat as he continued to ignore her, when she reached out to touch him again, he turned to her, eyes blazing.
"I said not now….." He shook his head at her, "I need to calm down right now…. I am not ok…. I am.." He shook his head at her, "NOT now." He said turning away again. They sat in silence all the way to the palace and when they got there he got out, his back to her. Pausing until she got out and started to follow him to their rooms, when they walked into their private sitting rooms he turned to the guards, "If anyone comes out of this room you will stop them by any means necessary….. am I clear?" He said, knowing Katara was listening to him. At their nods he pulled the doors closed and walked past Katara and the sitting room into their bedroom pulling his royal robes off as he went.
He threw them onto the bed and walked through the doors and on the balcony not looking at her. Katara sighed knowing she going to have to go to him because he was still not ready to approach her. She pulled off her dark robe and set down her things before slowly following him out to their private gardens. She saw him sitting under the tree under the moon and facing the pond. She stood behind him waiting… not wanting to push him. She stood there for so long that when he finally spoke, she jumped.
"How could you?" He asked softly, his back still to her.
Katara shook her head, "I did not want to be the reason that the Fire Nation went back to war… that the water nation goes back to war…..." She paused looking down at her hands, "He is threatening to start a war Zuko and the Fire nation finally has an amazing leader and I did not want to be the one to take that away…. To be that selfish." She said tears sliding down her face again. "You told me last night that you would give it all up… that you would do anything to keep me here and what cost… how many people will I hurt?"
Zuko shook his head, still refusing to turn back to look at her, "Did you ever think that without you I may not be a good leader… that I would be lost…" He paused tilting his head back, so the moon bathed his face, "You left…. I should not be surprised…...everyone leaves me." He said so softly that she barely heard him against the wind.
But his words tore her heart, "NO." She gasped running over to kneel next to him grabbing his face to look at her, "Don't you ever say that… I did not leave because I didn't want you… I didn't leave because I don't love you…. I left because I love you…. because I didn't want to make you choose between me and your nation." She paused brushing her hands down his face pulling him in to rest her forehead on his, "I left because I want you to not have to choose." She said again, "I saw what it was doing to you… I saw your pain every time we tried to figure out a plan… I saw your pain not knowing what to do…... I was causing you pain by being here."
Zuko shook his head pulling away from her, "You hurt me more when you left…. You … do you know what it felt like to come back to ask you a question…... just because I wanted to give you a kiss… to see your face…... and instead I find your letter…." He looked back to the pond, "Can you imagine if I left you a letter and left…... no goodbye…... no anything… just emptiness." He sighed, "I felt empty." He whispered.
Katara started shaking as the sobs took over her body, "NO." She grabbed his face again climbing into his lap, her legs straddling him, forcing him to look at her, "Zuko you are my world…. I waited for three years, my heart always waiting for you but never knowing it… It was emptiness every time I left you." He closed his eyes against her words as her forhead came to his, "I would give everything that I have for you…. To be with you to have you love me forever and us to have happiness…... but not at the expense of YOU!" She paused her breath coming out in rushed gasps against his lips, "Not at the expense of your pain… of taking away your nation or making you the man who has to choose between a war and woman over his country….. because either way you lose Zuko… you choose me and you lose everything else…... you choose everything else and you lose me and feel guilt…" she whispered as her head fell down to his chest, "SO I took that away from you…. I made it so you didn't have to choose!" her hands clenched at his chest, "But never because I didn't love you…. Never because I don't want you…I love you with everything inside me."
They sat there next to the pond for what felt like hours, her face and hands pushed into his chest as she straddled his legs, his hands digging into the grass and his face starting into the moon lit pond. Her tears soaking sliding down his chest in a steady stream and his breath coming out in harsh gasps. When she finally felt like she was hurting him more by sitting on him she pulled herself up to look at his face and shook her head, her hands dropping into their lap. She bushed her fingers down his face softy, "I love you." She murmured before starting to stand to move off of him.
She gasped when his hands flew to her waist clenching her to him, "NO." He said still not looking at her. She shook her head in confusion sitting still in his lap… waiting to see what he wanted… but he still didn't move or speak and she went to move again and his eyes slashed towards her, "I said NO." his hands tightening to the point of pain.
She looked at his face, "What…. What do we do?" She asked softly. "How do I let you go…. How do we make this work… just how?"
Zuko looked up at her, "You trust me…... trust me to figure this out…. to keep you and to keep my nation safe and strong…." He paused his eye burning into hers, "And you don't leave me… EVER again." His hands reaching up to grasp her face, "EVER."
Katara shook her head but his hands held her head tight to keep her, "Swear it to me…. That you will NEVER leave me again…." He said his hands tightening, "SWEAR IT." He growled his eyes fierce.
Katara closed her eyes, "ZUKO."
"NO…. Katara… I need you to swear this to me…." He paused his forehead coming to hers this time, "I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL TRUST ME… THAT YOU WILL STAY WITH ME."
Katara opened her eyes knowing that she had to give him this….. that she needed it deep inside her soul…. But she did not know if she could do it… if she could put everything on his shoulders. "Zuko." She murmured softly.
Zuko shook his head at her, "NO…. TELL ME." He said slamming his mouth onto hers, his hands clenching her neck and pulling her tightly against him. He plundered and pillaged her mouth, one of his hands reaching around her waist to push her down against him as he rolled his hip, "Promise me." He demanded as he reached forward and ripped her shirt off as he bit her lip making her moan against his mouth. When she did not respond his eyes narrowed, "KATARA." He demanded as he pushed her to stand up and off of him and when she looked confused, he grabbed her and yanked her against him harshly and backed her up against their tree. "TELL ME." He begged her; his eyes narrowed into slits.
She was overwhelmed, every sense was being pushed and challenged…. She watched as he burned off her bottoms and bindings, his hands encased in fire as they brushed along her body. "Zuko…" She whispered in awe at the way he removed everything with fire but her skin remind untouched. She looked down to see his fire brush along her skin, yellow and red flickers with white tips. "It's warm… but it doesn't hurt." She said softly, "It is like I am in your arms."
Zuko looked into her eyes as he burned off his own clothing, "You are my other half Katara…. You are a part of me….." His hand reached out to grasp her waist, his hand still burning, "Just like my fire does not hurt me… my fire will never hurt you….. you are mine and I am yours." He turned her around sharply, so her hands slammed against tree nad he pushed his body up against hers, his hands reaching up to run up her body and his lips whisper in her ear, "Please Katara… please tell me." He said as he pushed his hips against hers edging her legs open to find her warmth.
"Zuko…" she moaned deep in her throat, "Please…." She pushed back against him sharply. But he only pushed himself between her legs to rubbed back and forth while grasping her hip, his lips brushing her neck before his teeth bit hard enough to leave a mark. She pushed back harder against him begging, "Please..."
He shook his head, his hand coming to wrap around her throat carefully pulling her back against him, her neck curving along his shoulder. His other hand reaching down to pull her leg back against his hip and then slip between her legs, rubbing her center making her beg deep in her throat before sliding his fingers into her. His lips breathing lightly against her ear as he pulled her lobe to bite her gently, "Tell me Katara…. Tell me that you will never leave me…. That you will be by my side always." His fingers sliding deep inside of her, "Promise it to me…Swear it to me…. Always by my side."
Katara gripped the tree, panting, her eyes rolling back, biting her lip. But she gasped when he pulled out his fingers out to lay it against her stomach, "This is where my child will be one day Katara… promise me….. please…..I need you promise me….. you and me forever." He whispered into her ear.
Katara eyes slid open as she look back up at him, looking deep into his eyes, "You wont regret staying with me… you won't wish you could go back?" She said her voice breaking as a tear rolled down her cheek, her number one fear being whispered into the wind.
Zuko frowned as he gently kissed her the tear away, "How can I regret tying half my soul to me forever…" His lips covering hers gently, "How can I wish away the best thing in my world?"
Katara gasped as the tears ran down her face, one of her hands reaching up to cup the back of his neck, "I love you." She whispered against his lips but frowned when Zuko shook his head.
"I need you to promise that you will never leave me again… that you will trust me and stay with me always…. never make me feel this pain again." He said softly, and she finally saw past the anger in his eyes to the immense pain at losing her… even if only for a day.
Katara nodded up at him, "Never again….. I will never leave you again….. I will always be yours." She said and cried out into his mouth as he finally pushed his way home inside her. "My love….. my soul."
Zuko griped her neck tighter and her hip harder as he began to drive home….. as he began to make her as his… as he marked her, "Mine." He whispered into her mouth as the hand at her hip reached around to touch her center again, "You are mine and I will always protect you and we will figure this out…. I swear it to you." He gasped against her lips.
He pushed his heat…. his love …. into every jerk of his hips….. pushed her until she could not feel or see anything but him. Not the harsh bark against her hand, the soft breeze of the wind... not even the pull for the moon… just Zuko… everywhere, surrounding her… encasing her in his arms, his heat and his light.
Katara cried out as the mixture of his words…. His touch… his breath…. His love pushed her over the edge into oblivion. Zuko gasped as she came around him and it tipped him over the edge, and he cried out into her mouth. He gasped as he felt the icy cold touch of water up his back just as she felt the flames warm her under his hands. His element covering her front and him covering her back…just as her element covered his back and she covered his front. They were the prefect yin and yang.
Zuko slide his arms around her and pulled her closer, relishing in having her in his arms once more and thanked the Gods. His breath brushing her forhead, "My love….. my heart…. My soul." He gasped against her has his heart began to slow down.
Katara slid her hands over his and clenched her inside making him moan against her and she sighed, "I swear to you that I will never leave you… that you will always be mine….. and I will always be yours…." She kissed him carefully, "I trust you with everything."
Zuko clenched her tighter to him and sighed as his world finally shifted into focus and his heart lost the ache of her being gone. "My heart." He whispered. "I trust you with all I have….. and you hold my very being…. Please don't take it away again."
"Never." She said softly… "I will never leave you again…."
Katara closed her eyes to the memory of that day as she sat in the blue abyss…. She felt every touch…. every whisper….. every emotion all over again and she knew what she had to do…. No matter how much pain it caused…..
She knew even if she would never be the same….. never be right ….. she had to go back to Zuko…. She had keep her promise.