ORRINA

There had been no time to plan their grand getaway to Bear Island. No time to write her Aunt, urging her allow her and Jon return to her home, to wed, to live their life together. They had spent a long while in the Godswood, sheltered underneath the white branches of the weirwood tree, sheltered in each other's embrace, but time came for them as it always did and too soon, they had to say good bye. Orrina back to her chambers, surely someone had noticed she was gone, and Jon back before someone saw them together and informed the Lady of Winterfell. Jon never promised he would run away with her, but Orrina knew in her heart that she could convince him.

The next morning, Lord Stark permitted her to come to break her fast with the rest of the family with a stern look and a promise of no further outbursts. She had come to admire Ned Stark a great deal in the near year she had spent under his roof. She admired the way he never needed to raise his voice, and he never looked down on anyone. He took the time to get to know those who lived under his roof and treated them accordingly. She had a hard time letting go of her grudge of Theon Greyjoy and the fact that Ned defended him. And an even harder time letting go that he allowed his wife to treat his son with such contempt. However, she did see how much Ned himself loved Jon.

Still, her foster father had a quiet strength about him. Commanding, but not overbearing. Personable, and kind but still a Lord in every way. Orrina had heard things about his brother, the original heir to Winterfell, Brandon Stark. Benjen had told her stories of his elder, now dead brother, and his wolf's blood. The same wolf's blood his dead sister had. That a lot of dead Starks had. Wild, and un-tameable he called those two. She saw none of that in Lord Eddard.

But she did see hints of it in his children. She saw the way Jon's temper flared, maybe if he wasn't born with the curse of being a bastard, he would be able to express himself more freely. Arya was obvious, with her determination and wild tantrums when she was denied. A stubborn thing, Orrina knew those who would have said the same of her. Who said the same of Ned Stark's dead sister, who her own cousin was named after.

Rightfully so, Lyanna Mormont was turning out to be just as hard headed as the rest of her family.

Orrina dressed herself in one of her finer dresses, another old one of Lady Stark, fitted and modified by her eldest daughter. Where Orrina bonded with Arya over sword fighting, and horse racing, she bonded with Sansa over books and stories while the younger girl did her alterations. She had such an eye for detail and for the finer things. Another quality Orrina could admire but never possess. She would wear Sansa's pretty creations, fawn over them, show them off to the people who cared about that sort of thing, but she would still prefer her mail and breeches.

She was already on thin ice with Catelyn though, so she donned a burgundy dress, a deep red, almost the color of dried blood. As usual, she kept her arms covered, but these dress cut more off of her shoulders than any of her other ones. She wasn't good at braiding, only successfully able to pull off one thick braid down her back, not able to replicate the intricate braids the Northern ladies liked to wear. Instead she let her hair flow freely down her back, untamed.

Lord and Lady Stark were already seated at the table, flanked by Sansa, Bran and Rickon. It seemed she wouldn't the last to arrive for their meal after all. Both Sansa and Bran stood excitedly when she entered, questioning why they didn't see her the day before. She had never been particularly good at lying, except when it really mattered so Orrina tried to smooth over their curiosities as best she could while Lady Stark kept a watchful eye on them.

Orrina thought it best she sit further away from the matriarch of the Stark's today.

She fought the urge to rush to Jon when he entered, head bowed low. She wanted to move seats, from between Bran and Sansa to Jon's side, but she felt the eyes of her foster parents on her and instead turned her eyes quickly away from Jon. She would give them no reason to send her away quite yet, no reason to suspect she had snuck out to see Jon.

The rest of the family soon joined, and they wasted no time tucking into their food. The breakfast was a quiet one, especially with the likes of Arya and Sansa seated next to each other. Usually sisterly squabbles broke out and either Ned or Catelyn had to intervene. The only sound was the occasional sniffle or grunt, while their silverware clinked together. She didn't know why there was such a heavy mood over them all today, but she hoped it wasn't just due to her and Jon.

"We received word from King's Landing. King Robert and his family are journeying North to visit." Ned broke the quiet tension after dabbing his face with a cloth napkin.

Although they had eaten quietly, the energy of the family shifted and now everyone was buzzing excitedly. Orrina spared a quick glance at Jon, who looked neither thrilled, excited or confused like his siblings. He merely blinked in his father's direction, grey eyes giving away nothing.

However Orrina couldn't have been happier. The Royal family. It would prove the perfect distraction. She hated to leave Winterfell the way she was planning, sneaking off into the night, Jon riding fiercely at her side, long hours in the saddle in hopes to get to Bear Island as fast as possible. Truthfully, she didn't want to leave Winterfell at all. She wanted to marry Jon, with his family as witness and when they finally left as husband and wife, she would be able to kiss his sisters good bye, hug Bran and Robb tightly, and toss little Rickon in the air another time before leaving.

Instead her mind filled of ways to make their escape, to run before Lady Stark could stop them. To wed before Ned could forbid them. To find comfort in her family, to find Jon comfort in her family. She loved Winterfell, but more than ever she longed for the Island. For blistery mornings, and crisp ocean air. To wake up burrowed next to Jon in her old room, buried under thick furs, the smell of salt water creeping through her windows.

To see Alysane tease Jon mercilessly, but still greet him with a loud kiss on the cheek as she did with everyone else. She wanted him to meet Lyanna, named after his aunt and see how she reminded them of Arya. Dacey would challenge him to a spar, and although she knew her cousin would win, she would never rub it in Jon's face. Lyra and Jorelle would team up and interrogate him about every hot blooded boy south of Bear Island, curious if Robb Stark had an intended yet. Her Aunt Maege would tell him he was too skinny, that he was a Bear now, and he needed to look the part.

Orrina missed her family and she wanted Jon to find the same comfort in them that she always did.

Even if that meant stealing away in the middle of the night to get there.

The Stark siblings, as well as Theon gossiped about the royal family over the rest of their breakfast. Sansa sighed prettily at the thought of crown prince, Joffrey. Arya asked if she was taller than the Imp. Bran gushed about famed Kingsguard and Kingslayer, Jamie Lannister and if they would see his skill with steel. Only Jon and Orrina did not join in the conversation, both too caught up in their own thoughts to have any to spar about King Robert or his company.

Preparations began right away, the King was due in a fortnight, already starting his journey before letting his old friend know that he was on his way. Ned and Catelyn swept their children up in the preparations, and it seemed they were determined to keep Orrina and Jon apart as well. Everyday leading up the King's arrival, Orrina was pulled into some new task. If she wasn't, Jon was. Very rarely when they weren't helping the garrison prepare for the royal family, Sansa rarely left Orrina's side, no doubt at her mother's urging.

Truthfully, she didn't mind the girls presence, she liked Sansa. She was sweet, naïve, but kind hearted and gentle. She would never last a day on Bear Island, but she possessed a Lady's strength. Not everyone had to as fearless and hard as the Mormont women, Orrina had to remind herself when she grew frustrated with her constant supervision. Sometimes she wished she could possess Sansa's gentle nature, ability to mind her own, and her soft heart.

All she wanted was to see Jon. To feel his lips against hers again. To feel the beat of his heart against hers. She dreamed of running her fingers through his dark curls, to hear him say he loved her again with a soft kiss to her temple. Every night she was tempted to sneak from her bed, to find Jon in the moonlight, just to take his hand. It had been too long since they had a moment alone. Anytime spent together was overly formal, afraid that someone would overhear them.

It was the longest two weeks of Orrina's life.

She almost cried tears of relief when word came of King Robert's host approaching. Soon both Ned and Cat would be preoccupied by the King and the Queen. Sansa would be fawning over the prince, the rest of the Stark children would entertain the little princess and prince and she could find her solace in Jon Snow. He would be reluctant to leave, she knew that much but unlike sweet Sansa, Orrina was headstrong and stubborn. Now that she knew his true feelings, she couldn't allow him to waste away.

Orrina watched Ned share words with his bastard son, a fatherly hand on his shoulder before sending him away. He couldn't be presented with his siblings. Instead he came to stand at Orrina's side, head down, eyes averted. Soon Theon Greyjoy joined them as well, a moody look on his face. Clearly the young ward had not been pleased he could not stand alongside the Stark's like he so desperately wished. A ward, a hostage, and a bastard. A sorry lot they were.

She was tempted to reach for Jon's hand while they wanted. Her heart ached for him, not only because she missed him, but because he belonged to stand alongside his siblings. He deserved to have Ned boast what a good swordsman he's become, how he could even best Robb. Instead, he was pushed to the side, hidden away like his very birth would offend the King and his consorts.

King Robert rode into Winterfell, tall and fat followed by his Kingsguard. Jaimie Lannister's golden hair gleamed in the rare Northern sun, as did the crown Prince Joffrey's. Orrina watched as Robert dropped from his horse, sure the ground had shook under his weight and crushed Ned Stark in a brotherly hug. If it wasn't Ned Stark kneeling into the snow to kiss Queen Cersei's hand, Orrina would think this was all a very well oiled mummer's farce, but if she learned anything during her time under his care, Ned was a honest man.

The little prince and princess were introduced to the Stark family while Orrina stood to the side shuffling uncomfortably with Theon and Jon next to her. The sooner this was over, the better. She could seize her moment to talk with Jon and then hide in her room for the rest of the evening if she had too. The theatrics of this whole affair was too much for her. It was reminding her of all the singers, and performers her father spent their money to try and please his Hightower wife.

Frivolous, is what her grandfather called it. The Stark's may have been more modest but they went all out for the royal family and it turned her stomach.

Lord Stark was about to take the King down into the crypts despite his pretty wife's pleas, when Orrina looked up and locked eyes with Robert Baratheon. The king stilled for a moment before saying something to Ned, who didn't look pleased. He gave his wife a glance before leading the King over their sad little band.

"You didn't tell me you were keeping beautiful girls as wards now, Ned." Robert laughed heartily, not sparing a glance for Theon Greyjoy. "I see your bastard boy is growing to look more and more like you as the days pass. Little left of his mother in him, huh?" The king clapped Jon on the back roughly, causing him to stumble slightly. But she thought Jon was more shocked that he was being acknowledged at all, truth be told.

"You already know Jon, and Balon Greyjoy's boy, Theon." Ned introduced them in his usual quiet voice, sounding more on edge than usual. "This is Lady Orrina, granddaughter of Lord Commander Mormont."

"Daughter of slaver and craven Jorah Mormont," Orrina cut in, dropping into the most delicate and lady like curtsy she could manage, with the widest grin on her face, she so did love reminding people of her father's crimes. Luckily Sansa was not only kind and pretty but a good teacher, and Orrina did her proud.

Robert said nothing but let out a large belly laugh and clapped Jon on the shoulder again.

"She reminds me of Lyanna, Ned. With that mouth of hers."

"You never knew Lyanna as well as I did, your grace. You saw her beauty, but not the iron underneath." Ned's ash grey eyes looked to Jon, sad and distant.

"My youngest cousin is named after her. I hope we both do her memory proud, Your Grace." Orrina bowed her head again, the North made hard strong women, and though she may envy other's tact and grace, she was proud of who she was.

King Robert fixed her with a strange look, his mouth twitching under this thick beard but he bid them good bye and followed Lord Eddard to the crypts to speak to the real Lyanna.

Unfortunately for Orrina, she still did not get to speak with Jon until it was time for the King's welcoming feast. Her spirits however brightened when she saw a familiar black cloak make it's way into the gates of Winterfell, long after the Royal host. Benjen Stark had come on her grandfather's request. More men, more supplies were needed and an audience with the King was something the Watch was rarely afforded.

Benjen looked the same as he did when she left for her journey south, still long faced and metallic eyed. The look of the Stark's, one she knew now. She wasn't expecting to see any man of the Watch, especially not the First Ranger, but Orrina threw her arms around Benjen Stark all the same. He rumpled her hair, and gave her a friendly pat on her shoulder before Orrina started to interrogating him about the happenings of the Watch. He didn't give her much detail, just like her grandfather hadn't but as always she could read between the lines.

She lived long enough at the Wall, to know that threat of wildlings and Mance Rayder were coming to a head. But they tried to spar her the news, she was not a man of the Watch, nor was she a man at all. A girl, they still treated her like a child. It was maddening. But Benjen told her about the few new recruits that had come North, that her grandfather's crow still bleated for corn at every passing moment, that Hobb's quality in food had gone down since she left. She appreciated any news he was willing to spare so she took it with a smile.

There was more that he wasn't telling her, Orrina thought of the Watch deserter that Lord Stark had beheaded personally and tried to remember what Bran had told her. She was forbidden from going, but Bran came back with tall tales of White Walkers and the Others. More importantly, he came back with a direwolf and one for each of his siblings. None of them were really interested in telling her what happened with the man of the Watch when they were distracted by their new pups.

Too soon, Benjen had to leave her, he had business with his brother and the King but he promised he would sit with her at the feast and tell her the things she had missed while she had been away.

The rest of the Stark's were busy entertaining the royal family, so Orrina was left to her own. She decided she would go practice with the musicians that Lord Stark had hired for the feasts entertainment. Perhaps it was part of the ploy to keep her away from Jon, but Cat had asked her specifically if she would see to the music, perhaps even sing a song or two, they all remembered her sweet voice when she sang for her grandfather and they were sure the King would be pleased to hear her sing as well.

She had wanted to refuse, she rarely sang for strangers, and the biggest crowd she ever sang for was the Night Watch's meager supply of men. But she didn't want to give cause to send her away, and Catelyn had hugged her tightly when she agreed. She was good woman, Lady Stark, it was hard to stay hateful of her, it only resurfaced when she saw her interact with Jon.

After a while, Orrina retired back to her room, tired already from the day's events. It had been years since she saw something as grand as this. It was what her father tried to replicate everyday for his young, Southron wife, giving no heed to his family's dwindling money. Musicians, mummers, fools, pretty jewelry, slippery silks, nothing was off limits to try and keep Lynesse Hightower happy in the cold, harsh North.

She was able to squeeze in a quick kip, before changing for the feast. She changed into a gown reflecting her house colors. It was another's gown, Lyanna's in fact, again modified to her liking. The dress was fully black, deep and inky. It was one the few dresses she now owned without full sleeves, only a band around her shoulders. Green intricate, lace had been layered over it her skirts, the corset bodice had small hand stitched designs, in the same matching green.

Green as vibrant as the trees in the woods of Bear Island. Black as the fur of a bear. Here we stand, Orrina thought to herself as she smoothed her skirts, fingers moving over the fine lace that her family wouldn't splurge on, even if they could afford it. Stubbornness was their House trait, it was reflected in their words and they carried themselves. She would remember this when she was able to talk to Jon.

It was time to leave for the grand meal, and had she not been looking down over her skirts, she would have seen the slip of parchment sneakily pressed under her door. It had been folded several times, and when she opened it, it was a sloppy drawing of Ghost, Jon's direwolf. He wrote nothing else, just signed it "yours" with his initials. Since they weren't able to speak to each other the last fortnight, they had taken to writing notes to each other, slipping them under each other's doors when no one was around. She kept all of them, especially the one written in Jon's own hand saying he loved her. She refolded the parchment and tucked it into her bodice. She would carry it with her tonight, she had a feeling she would need it.

Jon wasn't allowed to sit with the family during the meal, something Orrina resented heavily. Even more so, Lord and Lady Stark insisted her and Greyjoy forget their family's feud for one evening as Theon would be escorting her down to the Great Hall. It made sense that the two wards would go together, but Orrina didn't like it all the same. Neither did Theon, judging by the sour look on his face when she met him down the hallway. She told the Stark's that she would rather not attend at all, to sit back with Jon and the other squires before letting Theon touch her.

Her request was ignored.

If Theon said anything to her, Orrina didn't hear him. His cruel japes and snide comments were ignored, her thoughts elsewhere. It wasn't until they were going through the doors of the Great Hall did Theon take her arm, although she did try to wrench it back.

"Will you behave normally for even just a moment?" Theon hissed at her, as his grip tightened.

"If you don't let go of me, squid, you will pull back a stump," Orrina threatened her tone low, a fake smile still on her face. She may have been dining with the Royal family and the famous Kingsguard but she still wore her knife concealed in her boot and if she was pushed to stabbing Theon Greyjoy at the dinner, she would have no greater joy.

Exasperated, Theon released her, throwing his hands in the air and muttering something under his breath. Orrina was prepared to reply but her eyes caught Jon, sitting in the back, back with the squires. It was a cruel world for bastards, and she so desperately wanted to reach out and take his hand. Instead she was pushed further into the Hall, seated at the high table with the royal children and the Stark's.

Dinner was a long, dull affair. Ned Stark allowed her one cup of wine, but she wished she could have more to get through this evening. The King talked loudly, ate loudly, groped serving girls loudly. His wife was as cold as the Wall, and their children were spoiled and dull. Sweet, but boring. Luckily she was able to excuse herself after a while to go sing with the musicians.

The Hall was still noisy from the celebrations, so she hoped that not many people would pay her mind. Requests for the usual party songs, The Bear and the Maiden Fair was always a popular one. She didn't want to sing the same tired songs that she always heard. She caught the briefest glimpse of Jon, and closed her eyes before breaking into song.

There's something tragic about you
Something so magic about you
Don't you agree?

There's something lonesome about you
Something so wholesome about you
Get closer to me

No tired sigh, no rolling eyes, no irony
No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits prison, chivalry fell on it's sword
Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Babe, there's something wretched about this
Something so precious about this
Oh what a sin

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me
A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on it's sword
Innocents died screaming, honey ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on it's sword
Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door

When she finished, the Great Hall still buzzed with activity, but most eyes were turned to her, including those of the Royal family. Lady Cat looked pleased that she had gone through with it, and Arya beamed at her brightly. A rowdy round of applause broke out and she felt herself flush deeply. Orrina had never sang for so many people, but there was a rush in it. Not the same as winning a spar, but a rush all the same.

At the urging of the other musicians, she broke into an upbeat rendition of The Bear and the Maiden Fair, if anyone should sing it, it should be a Bear from House Mormont. Near the end of the song, she looked up in time to see Jon, red faced and upset, storm from the Hall, his white little direwolf nipping at his heels.

She was able to convince one of the other singers to take her place before following Jon out, with the excuse of needing some air. People stopped her and complimented her on her way out, delaying her from getting to Jon. By the time the cold air hit her lungs, she saw Tyrion Lannister waddling away from Jon.

"Jon!" She cried out his name and ran to him, not caring anymore about who saw them. She missed him, she hadn't had a moment alone with him in days and wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him, so she did. Jon stood there stiffly while Ghost danced around their feet. He smelled like wine, and she knew Ned's allowance of only one cup didn't seem to apply to the table of squires he sat with.
"What's wrong?" Orrina pulled away, her face knit in confusion. He didn't try to hug her back, and there was a strange look on his face. "Jon, what is it?" She urged him again when he didn't respond.

"I'm joining the Night's Watch, I'm going to take the Black."

I really wish FF would allow me to properly reply to comments outside of sending PMs and that I was able to reply to guest comments! Thanks to everyone who has left a comment thus far! I got a review from "Green Forest" who went in depth about bastardy in Westeros, who is 100 percent correct! I know a lot of people hate Catelyn but I personally LOVE her. I think she is so politically aware and smarter than she is given credit for. And honestly, a wonderful mother. I understand why she resents Jon and how he threatens her children and her future grandchildren, rightfully so. However, this fic is from the POV of a 16 year old girl who loves a bastard boy. I've touched on that in this chapter a bit with both Ned and Cat but Orrina is clearly blinded by teeanged angst, her love of Jon, and her own upbringing with the Mormont girls who by all rights are bastards themselves. I love ALL of the Stark's, and this is in no way a flame fic of Catelyn, Sansa, etc. But again thank you, thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far!

As always, credit for the song in chapter is the wonderful, beautiful, talented Hozier. Another huge inspo for this story!

This chapter has turned a bit into a monster, length wise. I also felt this chapter needed to be told solely from Orrina's POV as well. I might try to squeeze in a Robb POV next chapter just because I love him so much, but we will see. Originally I was planning on including everything in one chapter, but I had to split it up just since it spiraled a bit and this felt like the place to cut it. I was also going to include a scene where they found their direwolves, but I really didn't think Orrina fit in there or would have been allowed to attend a beheading of a man in the Watch.

Speaking of the Watch, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE UPSET WITH ME! Well, obviously you are, haha. I'm quite upset myself, I've always been interested in writing total AUs. However it didn't fit with my story line where I see Orrina and Jon ending up. Unfortunately, I think Jon going to the Watch is really important to his character arc, and where I see him in the future. It breaks my heart, but it is the reason I have this story tagged as a slow burn.

However, don't fret, I will not be separating these two! I'll let you wait for the next chapter to see what that really means, but this doesn't mean 30+ chapters where they don't interact or anything. Their stories/arcs are very much tied together. As always, please let me know what you think in the comments! I'd love to hear your thoughts.