Hawke
Why Ashe desired either one of the two idiots before him was a mystery. Or maybe that was the thing, that they fought over her. And now Mahariel, too, it seemed.
What a fucking mess. But an entertaining one...
As much as Hawke wanted to stay and watch the scene unfolding in front of him, he was slightly worried when his eyes swept across the room and he couldn't find Ashe anywhere in sight. She loved being the center of attention, so where in the Fade could she be now, missing this?
He leaned closer to Mahariel, who watched amused as Alistair and Cullen growled at each other.
"My Lady, I think I need to go and fetch our dear Inquisitor. Will you, how shall I put it, keep these two boneheads from killing each other in the meantime?"
Mahariel's eyes turned to Hawke. "Aw, but that will ruin all the fun... But since you asked so politely, Greyer." She smiled and winked at him. Maker take him, this woman was fascinating. Stone cold one second while she calmly insulted the King, and warm and charming the next. The most dangerous kind of woman. And absolutely irresistible to a man like himself. She was like an exotic mixture of Isabela, Ashe and a queen. He laughed inwardly when he walked away, knowing that Ashe would probably bite his head off if she knew that he wouldn't exactly say no to fucking the Hero of Ferelden.
He neared one of the exits from the hall and glanced back over his shoulder. Mahariel was standing between the two men now, facing Cullen, saying something too low for him to hear. They were all so close together. Hawke chuckled to himself. They looked like some kind of human sandwich, with Mahariel as the filling and Cullen and the King as two very angry pieces of bread. A sandwich with some spicy elf in the middle.
Well, damn, now he was hungry. He'd had his hands full entertaining all the ladies, thinking about which one or which ones he would bed that night, that he'd forgotten to eat. His stomach rumbled as he walked in the empty corridors of the castle, but there was no sign of Ashe, only the occasional guard.
Finally, he heard voices. He slowed down and carefully rounded the corner in one of the corridors, not wanting to disturb if it wasn't Ashe. But there she was, backed up against the wall with some nobleman pushing her against it, his hand on her stomach. One look at her face and Hawke knew that this wasn't voluntary on her part. The look on her face also told him that shit was about to break loose. He leaned against the wall and watched, almost wishing he had something to nibble on as this impending entertainment started. If it were any other woman, he would have rushed forward to help, but knowing Ashe, that would only make her wildly offended.
"I said, take your fucking hand off me." Her voice was deadly calm.
"No, you're coming with me, missy. Greta has worked hard for years getting closer to His Majesty, and you're not going to ruin it all now!"
Ashe's eyes flickered over to Hawke. She blinked a few times, then quickly mouthed 'watch' to him before angling her face up towards the man hovering over her again.
"Fine, fine, I don't want any trouble." Her voice had shifted from menacing to light and innocent. "Please, Ser, I don't like being restrained. If I do you a favor, will you be satisfied just holding on to me without tying my hands while we get out of here?"
"What, uhm... what kind of favor do you mean?" The man sounded less sure of himself.
Oh, pretty, devious little Ashe.
She moved her free hand up to the shoulder strap of her dress and let it fall to the side, almost revealing one of her breasts. The man stared at her cleavage and she put her finger between her lips like a little girl.
"You know, I may only be nineteen, but I can suck a cock like a real whore." She started sucking on her finger and the man stared at what she was doing, speechless.
Hawke had to put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing and alerting the fool to his presence.
"Don't you want to put your big, fat cock in my mouth, Ser? I'll even swallow, and then we'll go quietly, I promise. Just don't hurt me!" Her voice was ridiculously girly, and the man started stammering.
"I, I don't..." He gasped as Ashe's hand found its way down and squeezed his bulge through his pants. He released his grip from her stomach and Hawke could see that he had a knife in his hand. So that was why he wasn't dead already. He pushed her down to her knees and leaned his head back with his eyes closed. Hawke couldn't believe what a stupid fuck he was. He saw Ashe pulling something up from her shoe, but she was still acting like she was going to go through with the blowjob. She unbuckled the man's pants and pulled them down, and Hawke stuck his tongue out in disgust when the man pulled out his dick. Ashe's mouth hovered over it and she said: "This is going to be so sweet," and then she plunged her dagger into the man's groin. He opened his eyes wide in shock and after a second he started screaming. Ashe pulled the blade out and blood spattered everywhere, including Ashe. She stood up and dropped the knife and backed up, probably expecting guards at any second. Hawke walked over to her side and looked down on the still screaming man while Ashe wiped some blood off her face.
"Sheesh, princess, couldn't you have just hit him instead? What a mess. You got your pretty dress all ruined, too," he said, not able to keep the smile off his face. What a wildfire she was.
"Eh. Just wish I'd had my sword with me. Small blades aren't my thing, but I'm glad I had one on me. The creep deserved it. Ah, Maker, my ears, what a fucking screamer. Do me a favor, will you, and shut him up?"
Hawke happily complied and bent over and grabbed the noble by his collar and smashed his fist into his face. He was knocked unconscious immediately.
"Who is he anyway?" Hawke asked.
Ashe shrugged. "I think that girl he was talking about is his sister or something. Guess they thought I was a threat. I'll tell Alistair her name later so he can get rid of her."
"What an absolute idiot. Has he been living in a box for the past year? He knew who you were, I mean, half of Thedas knows that you've slaughtered hundreds upon hundreds of men and beasts."
"Make that thousands," Ashe said and gave him a crooked smile.
"Yeah, that's my point, princess. What in Andraste's name possesses people to think that they're so special so that they'd survive a violent encounter with you?"
She shrugged again and looked down on the man. "People are fools, you know that."
They both looked up when they heard footsteps running towards them. Several guards entered their view, weapons out, and they were followed by Alistair, Cullen and Mahariel.
"What happened here? We heard screams all the way into the great hall..." They looked down at the bleeding man on the floor. "Who... is that?" Cullen said. Then he looked at Ashe and saw her blood-stained appearance. He rushed forward and touched her cheek. "Maker's breath, Ashe, are you alright?"
Alistair wasn't far behind. "What happened here, Ashe? Are you okay?"
Ashe just snorted and rolled her eyes.
"Make way, boys." Mahariel pushed Cullen and Alistair to the side and stepped between them. She looked at Ashe, then down at the body on the floor, then up at Ashe again. Then she grinned.
"Tried something, did he? That's Jake Hewlender. That slime of a man, he always did have it in for me whenever I visited court on Grey Warden business. I see you've planted your knife right in the crown jewels. Exquisite work, really. Couldn't have done it better myself."
Ashe stared at the woman in surprise for a few seconds before she blinked and smiled. Hawke could see it was a genuine smile this time.
"What happened?" Alistair repeated. "Did he try anything? I'll kill him myself if he did," he growled. Cullen looked equally agitated and huffed and puffed as if he were about to jump on the man on the floor and finish the job himself.
"Oh, come off it, boys. She could handle it, obviously. Now, get the guards to clean up this mess and go blow off your testosterone somewhere else. Come, Inquisitor, I want to hear every detail of how you stuck it to him. Oh, what I would have given to have seen the look on his face!" She took Ashe by the arm and started walking towards the door. Ashe looked surprised again but was still smiling and didn't protest, probably happy that Mahariel berated the men for treating Ashe like she was some delicate little flower. Hawke wasn't surprised that the Warden Commander was so... commanding all of a sudden. He'd met Mahariel a few times before, and out of all the leaders in this room, she and Ashe were the scariest and the most authoritative when they chose to be.
"But, what happened?" Alistair called after them.
"She'll tell you later, Maker, calm yourself Alistair and let her be," Mahariel said over her shoulder.
The women left the room and Cullen and Alistair stood there staring after them, their mouths open in surprise.
Hawke laughed quietly. If Mahariel and Ashe became friends, which he doubted they would despite their sudden common enemy, that would thoroughly fuck things up in Cullen and Alistair's little game over the heart of the Inquisitor. Or the body of her, he didn't quite know which of the two they desired yet.
He left the mess behind him as well, already forgetting the bloody mess on the floor. All he could think of now was Mahariel and Ashe, naked in bed, with himself in the middle. He smiled to himself. Isabela would be so proud of him.