Sirius flopped down on his bed, he was not jealous, he just didn't like Mary, and she didn't like him. He decided now was as good as ever to read, so he slipped the leather-bound book out from under his bed and flipped open to the page he was last on. It was the page about Lily, and Sirius felt his mouth rise into a soft smile, he had been hyperaware of Lily and Remus's friendship after that day, he could tell they had a deeper understanding of each other than most people, they worked so well together as they had been best friends since they first met.

The entry was the first from second year. It was short, but it made Sirius tear up a little bit.

'September, 13th 1972,

I hate my scars, people are always staring at them, I wish there was a magic spell to get rid of them. They make me feel like a monster.'

His heart dropped to his stomach, he had known since they found out that Remus felt like he was some sort of menace to the world, but he didn't think about how it affected Remus. Sirius felt his sadness be replaced by anger, Remus didn't deserve this, for merlin's sake he folded his goddamn socks. If he had the chance, he would have murdered the person who bit him, no matter what circumstances it was under.

Sirius kept reading, there were more entries about their pranks, and then he came across a particularly interesting entry.

'January, 1st 1792,

Mum and dad have always told me to follow the bible, but I think it's stupid. No old man in the sky made humans or plants, while I don't know how it happened, I just don't believe in him. I don't know if I'm going to tell them this, but I'm telling it to myself.'

He laughed, Remus had told his parents about his lack of belief in god in fourth year, and they had slowly come to accept him for it. As a pureblood, he had no idea what God or the bible was, it had seemed like a whole lot of shit when Remus and Peter tried to explain it.

Sirius heard footsteps coming up the stairs, so he hastily tucked the book under his pillow and leaned back, trying to act nonchalant by casting random charms to make things move as Remus walked in, carrying three heavy tombs in his arms, looking as though he might faint.

"Good study session with Mary, eh?" he quirked his eyebrow, hoping Remus would tell him what happened. The other boy just rolled his eyes and mumbled something he could quite make out, Sirius could tell he was irritated, but he wanted to know so bad that he pushed.

"What happened?" Sirius's voice was soft, and he gestured for Moony to sit down next to him. He watched as Remus contemplated if it was a good idea before he sighed and sat down. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus's shoulder and pulled him into Sirius so his back was pressed against Sirius's chest. It was rare they ever sat like this, it only happened after particularly bad full moons, or when Sirius got letters from his mom, but he always enjoyed it when it happened. Remus relaxed against Sirius, and he could feel the tension slowly leave his shoulders, but he decided to ignore the faint blush appearing on both their faces.

It took several moments before Remus began to speak, his voice low and soft, "Mary, she threatened to tell everyone that..." his voice trailed off, he closed his eyes and cuddled closer to Sirius's chest. While Sirius wanted to know what had happened, he wouldn't press Remus, so he ran his hands through the other boy's hair. Remus's hair was one of the greatest wonders of this world, it was one of the softest things he had ever felt, and it was just curly enough to wrap around his ears when it got too long. The curls were a honey brown, and in the sun they almost look auburn, with little grey hairs beginning to pop up, which Remus would twirl around his pointer finger during tests.

After some time, Sirius spoke, "we don't have to talk about, just relax, ok?" his voice was gentle and he smiled when Remus nodded and seemed to doze off to sleep.

Sirius's eyes roamed over his face, which was peaceful in sleep, making him look a few years younger. His face finally relaxed as he didn't have to worry about academics or the possible war hanging over their heads, and his anxieties over his transformations gone just for a little while. Remus's cheeks were a faint red, and his lips were partly open as he snored quietly, and Sirius sighed softly. As he began to count the freckles across Moony's nose, he knew he was absolutely fucking whipped. Sirius had known that he didn't find girls interesting, they had been a wonder when he was 13, but now thoughts of Remus ran through his mind. He was gay, or at least gay for Remus, but right now Remus needed him for a pillow, so he pushed down these emotions and closed his eyes too, deciding to fall into blissful sleep.

He was awoken several hours later by the sound of James setting a plate down on his bedside table, Sirius turned his head and saw that it was a plate of dinner for him and Remus, but at this point, all he could care about was the fact that his arms were wrapped around Remus's waist and that James was looking at them cautiously, not knowing what to say. Eventually, he flashed Sirius that dorky smile and shrugged, then stole a roll of the plate before he headed into the bathroom for a shower.

Sirius's face heated up as he snuggled his nose into the nook of Remus's shoulder, deciding that right now to go back to sleep and enjoy the heat of the boy next to him. While he knew if Remus ever found out, he would be disgusted, Sirius could burn this little moment of hope into his mind and go blissfully back to sleep.