019. Everlasting dreams

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"Shadow," the girl with orange dreads whispered. She had an ethereal sort of beauty, something that would draw the attention of everyone in the vicinity. Shadow felt something tugging at his chest, a strange familiarity that he couldn't seem to rub off even if he tried.

"Who are you?" he asked, and the girl looked at him sorrowfully. He had the vague notion that he would like to see her smile, and he almost recoiled at the sudden thought.

She reached out a hand towards him. As soon as he attempted to reach back, everything faded.

...

Shadow stared up at the ceiling with a disgruntled frown. He was annoyed, disappointed. That was the fourth time the dream reoccurred to him. Every single time something good was about to happen in it, he'd wake up. His frowned deepened. He shouldn't be thinking like this. He didn't like how the dream made him feel, how the girl in it made him feel.

He let out a low growl and got up from bed. He had no time for such nonsense. Dreams like that didn't matter. They never mattered. He had to get ready for work. Something that was far more important.

When he finished another assignment from the Commander, he sat down onto his desk and started on the paper work.

However, he couldn't. He tried. But he couldn't.

Images. Images of that beautiful echidna filled his mind again. The beautiful echidna that never existed but in his dreams.

"Damn it all," Shadow muttered and placed his head against his hands.

Rouge stepped into his office a moment later with a folder full of files for him.

"You've been out of it lately," she told him, arms crossed as concern washed her features, "Have you been sleeping okay?"

He clenched his jaw. Sleep. I wish I could never sleep again. "Yes."

The bat didn't seem so convinced and raised an eye. "Maybe you should schedule a doctor's appointment and see what's up. Those dark circles won't fix themselves," Rouge said and then turned to strut off, "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Once the door shut, Shadow stared after it and harshly gripped the handles of his chair.

...

"This feels nice."

Shadow watched her as her bare feet touched the water. He looked from a distance but not too far so he could see the content and smile tracing her face.

The fact that she wore a plain white dress defined how innocent she looked against the ripples and splashes of the water.

She turned to face him as her lips curled. The sun shone directly onto her and at that point, all he saw was an angel.

Shadow was already entranced. So his feet moved along the water and he stood in front of her. Her smile widened as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind," she commented.

"Because of you," he replied, his hands slithering down her waist.

The echidna giggled and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry, Shadow..."

He jolted awake and quickly touched his cheek. It was cold.

Though, he never noticed the one tear pouring down his face.

...

"A dream? A dream about what?"

He couldn't believe he made the effort to go to Tails's house the next day after work. He was the last person he thought of ever going to. The idea of going to an actual doctor irked him. Plus, Tails was practically knew the things they knew. Shadow just trusted him more is all.

He didn't know any other way to answer his question. So he decided to be straight. "...A girl. Someone whom I could never know."

Tails blinked at him curiously but he nodded. This was a senstive topic. "Do you keep dreaming about her?"

"I can't remember the last time I haven't," Shadow said quietly.

The fox was in thought. He'd never seen the hedgehog so down like this before. "So it's about the same girl. Tell me, do the dreams ever progress?"

He looked at Tails. "What do you mean?"

"Like, do they ever..." Tails paused and cleared his throat, coming up with a better set of words, "What do you see her as?"

The question put him off guard. "What... do I see her as?"

Tails quickly analysed how the hedgehog before him was acting. "Yeah. Do you see her as a friend or...?"

Shadow lips thinned into a line and his gaze drifted down. "...More than that."

"Ah," he understood now, "I've never had something like this happen to me before so I'm happy you told me," Tails smiled when Shadow crossed his arms with a huff, "Do you miss her, Shadow?"

Shadow asked the obvious. "How could I possibly miss someone who doesn't even exist?"

"It's possible. Seeing how you've had these dreams for a while..." Tails got up from his chair rummaged through one of his draws, "I'm not telling you that you should take this but it may help you with some sleep," he held up a small bottle before throwing it over to him.

He caught it and looked at it. "Is this the sleeping medicine?"

Tails nodded. "Try to take it a few hours before you go to bed. It's not like the stronger ones they prescribe to people so you won't have any headaches when you wake up," he went back to his computer, "Like I said, only take it if you need to. Just give me a call if you've used it all up and I'll give you another one."

Taking it would probably mean he'd stop having that dream. "Okay, thanks."

...

When he started to take the medicine, he was finally at peace with his sleep. No interruptions. No nothing. His body didn't feel like shit when he woke up in the mornings. His dark circles faded and gone like they were never there in the first place.

His didn't feel content though. There was no closure in his heart. The dreamless sleeping didn't make him stop thinking about the girl who he helplessly fell in love with. It was pathetic. He felt pathetic. How could he become so weak to these things?

It wasn't like anyone could help him with the situation. And he couldn't blame them. It was impossible.

Shadow sighed and had his eyes set on the picture frame of Maria.

What would you do?

...

He bravely decided not to take the medicine that night and drifted off to sleep.

"Are you getting tired of me?"

It was a question Shadow couldn't simply answer straight away. So he stayed quiet as he watched the shores of the sea.

"You've... shut yourself away from me, I've noticed," she pressed on, a sad tone hinting at her words, "...I'm sorry."

"No," he said and looked at her, "It's my fault."

She blinked. He found it adorable. "How? I keep entering your dreams without permission..."

"And I left the doors open without shutting them," he held her hand and they walked to the shore, "...My feelings for you have always been the same."

He found her blushing at his words. "I-It's the same with me as well..." the echidna girl smiled and squeezed their hands together, "I'm always so excited to see you."

Shadow quickly looked away as his own face heated slightly.

Her hand gently brought his face back to her own and she enjoyed his flustered expression. She giggled again. The giggle that sounded like sweet music to his ears. "I hope to see you again in better circumstances..."

He stiffened. Now his heart was beating rapidly. "What... What are you saying?"

She kissed him. Shadow's breathing stopped. The sheer softness of her lips modded into his own perfectly. And peaches... she tasted like sweet peaches.

She pulled away as soon as he wanted to kiss her back. He was disappointed that it was so short and leaned in for another one. However, her index finger pressed against his lip. Shadow saw her smile again as she did so.

"Maybe another time..." the echidna stated and pulled away from his hold, "A time where you won't have to only see me in your dreams."

"Please don't-"

"I promise we'll see each other again, Shadow."

Her tone was evident. And it made Shadow question when again was ever going to be.

This was a farewell.

"Your name," his voice managed to choke out. He could barely stand and his throat became dry. "I need to know your name."

The light was already beginning to take her. The ocean was fading. The sand became thinner and thinner.

He couldn't hear her but managed to follow her lip movements when she told him.

...

"Are you okay? You seem down."

Shadow looked towards Rouge before his eyes half-lidded. "I'm fine."

Rouge sighed. "I'm only asking because it didn't look like you've been giving it your all these past few missions. Hell, I couldn't believe I had to save you in some parts."

He let out a scoff but he couldn't deny that she was telling the truth. "I've just had a lot on my mind."

"Don't we all," she said with a roll of her eyes but they gradually softened, "Look, if you need to talk about it, whatever the hell it is that's making you so gloomy, then you can tell me."

Shadow kept his eyes onto her and silence alluded across the table. He was sure his coffee was getting colder each minute that passed.

He broke his stoic composure and took one shaky breath. "Is it possible to fall in love with someone who only lived in your dreams?"

Rouge only stared back at him, analysing his features to make sure she heard him right. Shadow was never the one to lie. She'd known him too long and picked up his honest nature straight away. His eyes were serious but she could see the sorrow behind them.

The bat took some time to come up with the best answer, to order her words correctly. The hedgehog before her maybe the toughest but there was a hidden fragility in him that only she knew about. She didn't want to break that.

"I think it is, yes," Rouge answered, "That's the whole point of dreams, right? To imagine something great that's too good to happen in real life. It's suppose to almost feel like it exists," she looked down at her coffee and then gazed back up at him again, "Does she love you too?"

"Yes," Shadow whispered, his voice already heaving when he ran a hand down his face, "But she's gone."

"...Gone?"

He sniffed. That's right, he sniffed. When he set his eyes back onto his friend, the tears he was holding back for so long finally let loose. "I don't see her in them anymore."

It was the first time she'd seen him cry but she didn't seem fazed. Whoever this dream girl was, must've had him hooked to make Shadow the Hedgehog cry.

"What did she say to you?" Rouge asked quietly after some time.

Shadow swallowed. "She promised me we'll see each other again," he clenched his jaw, "But I don't know when."

"If it's a promise, then it's a promise," she reassured him softly, "You'll see her again. It may take weeks, months or years but you will see her again."

After some words of encouragement, Shadow nodded. "Thanks..."

Rouge smiled at him and pet his head. He hated it when she did that but this time was only an occasion. "You're welcome, lover boy," she winked at him before her watch beeped, "Looks like my little Knuckie needs help with a bunch of dweebs trying to steal the Master Emerald."

"Have fun."

"I'll try to," Rouge laughed as she picked up their mugs. She glanced at him carefully. "Try to take a break and go outside every now and then, okay? Give me a call if you need anything."

"I will... thanks again."

He watched her leave his office before stealing a look out his window. It became late in the evening. Perhaps a walk would do fine.

...

The breeze hit his quills just right and he sighed with content when he made it to the beach. A place he'd been avoiding ever since. He was lucky no one was here because it looked beautiful when deserted at night. Just seeing the full moon bright as it could ever be naturally lighting up the scenery.

It was difficult to almost breathe when his eyes landed onto the water. So he kept taking deep breaths to help him overcome the feeling.

The ghost feeling of her hand crept up onto his cheeks but the feeling disappeared as fast as it came. He then felt the sensation wrapping around his neck and his lips.

Shadow growled violently.

This was killing him. This was slowly killing him.

What was he ever going to do?! It's been months, months! And nothing was progressing.

Was he going to live the rest of his life wishing upon someone who may take decades to see him?

Damn love. Damn those dreams. Damn him.

Damn her.

Damn. Her.

"Are you okay?"

He suddenly choked. And then his body froze. His stomach tensed up.

He wouldn't have come here if there was just one person lurking around, so who was...

Shadow quickly turned.

And he stumbled back, his eyes widening like saucers.

She smiled. "I think the water would feel better if you took your shoes off."

He suddenly stopped breathing, forgetting about the techniques he learned to calm himself down as he stared at the female before him.

He was still dreaming. He probably dozed against the sand because he must've been still dreaming.

This was impossible. Impossible.

She then looked concerned and reached forward. "Shadow...?"

"You're not real," Shadow said and pressed his hands against his head, gritting his teeth, "You're not real! You're not-!"

"Shadow..." the gentleness in her voice stopped his words completely as her hands touched his.

And he felt it. He actually felt it.

He blinked a couple of times. Beating himself up in his mind to make sure he was awake and not asleep.

She gently pried his hands away from his face and cupped them with her own. "Shadow..." her soft comforting whispers breathed against his lips, "I'm here."

"You're not," his voice cracked the second time today, "I'm dreaming again."

"You're aren't," she giggled and her cheeks were staining with her newly formed tears, "I'm really here. I promised you, remember?"

"You'll disappear again."'

"I won't."

"You'll leave me."

"I won't."

"I'm dreaming."

"You're not."

He crashed their lips together. His lips moved desperately, deeply... almost roughly. She kissed him back, catching up with his movements and letting out a few gasps when he pulled away for a second only to indulge her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him even closer so that their bodies touched. His hands slithered down her waist again and he did the same thing.

Shadow pulled away and dived down her neck, peppering the kisses he always wanted to give her and the ones she needed. She kept giggling against his ear and it drove him wild that their footing loosened and he toppled over her as her back hit the sand.

He still kept kissing her neck and then made his way up to her lips again, taking full control. He wanted to feel them again. To make sure she was there. Her thighs straddled him from beneath and he placed one hand underneath a thigh as he continued his administrations.

He pulled away again, breathless. And she was too. He stared down at her now slightly swollen lip and then back up to her eyes.

They stayed like that for a moment or so, Shadow still dwelling in on everything.

The echidna smoothed out his quills as she smiled once more. "Let's walk along the water?"

He... smiled. "Okay."

When they stood up, Shadow laced their hands together before finally coming to terms with his next words. "I love you," he whispered, "Tikal..."

Her foreign name slipped so easily past his tongue.

Tikal's eyes glistened squeezed his hands. "I love you too, Shadow."