Hawke

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

He already had adrenaline pumping through his system after his "interrogation" of Anders, which was more a way to make the bastard pay for what he'd done to Ashe at this point, since he couldn't get anything useful out of the lunatic.

So his blood was hot and his pulse was up when she waved him over, looking like a fucking dessert to a starving man, with tight, black leather leggings, a matching leather bodice and strips of white fabric wound tightly down the length of her arms. Her dark red hair flowed down her back and her lips, Maker, they looked so full and red, like she'd been biting them all day.

She asked him about his day, a delighted look in her eye as she spotted the blood on him, and he did not miss the fire that lit up in her gaze as she did so. Like it turned her on, and that wasn't helping his pulse slow down one bit.

He shouldn't be thinking of her like that anymore. He should have already left, like he'd reasoned with himself was the best thing for everyone.

He answered her and slicked his messy hair back with his hand to try to calm himself. He couldn't help a quiet laugh escaping as he saw her continue to stare at him, apparently lost in thought, and he could only imagine how her own thoughts were likely as impure as his own.

"So, busy as ever? I've barely seen you around."

She didn't answer him.

"Princess, you hearing me or are you too busy biting your lip off?" he asked and smiled slyly.

Stop, stop, stop, you're killing me with the biting.

Don't stop. Ugh, please stop.

He could feel himself growing uncomfortably hard.

To both his relief and disappointment, Ashe excused herself and hurried inside, out of sight.

This is not good.

He had to leave. Before it was too damn late.

An hour later, he had his things packed and was ready to slip out, preferably quietly. He knew it was terrible of him, but he didn't know how Ashe would react if she found out he was leaving. Most of all, he was afraid that he would be unable to deny her if she asked him to stay.

Dark was approaching and he decided to use the fading light of dusk to leave. He almost made it to the front gate before his name was called behind him.

"Hawke! Wait!"

Hawke turned around, surprised at hearing who it was.

"Commander?"

Cullen was striding toward him and stopped short just in front of him.

"You're leaving?" he asked.

"Yes. I have business to attend to, and..." Hawke started but Cullen interrupted him.

"You can't. Not now," Cullen said and shook his head.

"Why not? I'm not getting any further with Anders at this point, Ashe can decide what to do with him."

"It's not that. Someone needs to stay here and watch over her. She might seem fine right now but I worry about her, about how she'll feel without any of us here."

"What in Thedas are you on about, man? Who's 'us'?" Hawke asked, not following Cullen's babbling attempt to speak his mind.

"You know. Me, you or Alistair. The ones who saved her. She feels safe with us. I have to leave Skyhold for a while. And believe me, I would rather not leave her alone with you, but her feeling safe is more important to me than my personal feelings on the matter."

Hawke raised both his eyebrows. "I'll admit, that surprises me." He ignored the other man's grunt. "So, where are you off to?"

"That's my business."

"And I have business of my own, like I told you. So I'll be the judge of who's business is more important, thank you very much."

Cullen scowled but eventually nodded. "Fine. I've received word from Mahariel. She needs me in Denerim, sooner rather than later."

That certainly piqued Hawke's curiosity.

"Rushing to Lady Mahariel's side so quickly, abandoning Ashe in the process? What's one to think about that, Commander?"

Cullen pointed his finger at Hawke's chest. "Don't twist my words, you imbecile. Mahariel is an old friend, and if she needs something from me, it's not something to be taken lightly. She would never ask if it wasn't important, and I'll have you know..."

Hawke snickered at the red-faced man in front of him. "I'm messing with you, dear old Knight-Captain. Do what you have to do, I don't really care. And of course I'll stay, for Ashe. Not that I think she needs any watching over, but I guess I can keep her company. In any way that she pleases." He couldn't help adding that last bit, just to see Cullen's face scrounge up some more.

"Hey, you asked for it, old man," Hawke said and made a mock bow in front of Cullen before he walked away to the sound of curses being yelled after him.

Ashe

"What do you mean, he left?" she said, her tone strained with barely kept composure.

"The Commander, he, uhm..." The messenger before her searched for words under her stern gaze, obviously afraid of her. Ashe couldn't care less.

"Spit it out."

"He was summoned on urgent business. Denerim."

"What? What do you mean summoned? Why would Alistair call on my Commander?" Ashe had a bad feeling about this.

"No, Your Worship, I hear it wasn't His Majesty that requested the Commander's presence. He received a letter from the Lady Hero."

Ashe blinked, stunned. "Do you mean Lady Mahariel?"

The messenger nodded, swallowing hard as Ashe's expression darkened. She motioned for the woman to leave, which she did in a hurry. Ashe was left dumbfounded in her throne, and despite several nobles and guards milling about the hall, she felt utterly alone, and confused.

Why had Mahariel summoned Cullen? And why in Thedas had he left without telling her? She didn't know if she was supposed to be angry, since he'd left on an unknown mission without his Inquisitor's approval, or if she felt more sad and betrayed that he didn't even care enough about her to talk to her before he left. It contradicted everything he'd said and done to her.

Alistair gone, Cullen gone. She supposed this was what she deserved. She was damaged goods, after all. She hated herself for thinking it, but something had definitely changed after what had happened to her with Anders. If not for her, then for them. If it was pity or disgust, she didn't know.

She felt miserable, absolutely miserable, and she couldn't even manage to get up from her throne and retreat to her chambers for privacy.

She was seconds away from letting her tears fall from her eyes when she caught sight of Hawke exiting the hall leading from the guest chambers. He spotted her and waved happily at her, mouthing 'Hey!', cheery as ever.

The Maker knew she could need some uplifting company, but if he was on his way to see Anders, she wouldn't stop him. She'd seek him out later. Until then, she'd have to wallow in her misery a bit longer.

After a couple of drinks and a whole slew of Hawke's obscene jokes, Ashe had almost forgotten how awful she was really feeling. The tavern was buzzing with excitement that evening. It wasn't exactly an everyday occurance that the Inquisitor herself joined her subjects drinking and dancing, and she really did enjoy herself.

"Your cup is empty, princess," Hawke said with feigned shock.

"So be a gentleman and get me another then?" she said and batted her eyelashes at him with her best puppy eyes.

Hawke laughed. "Gentleman? Where did you get that idea? Haven't you heard? I'm a filthy apostate. Or was it pirate? Or sly weasel, as all the merchants of Kirkwall used to love shouting after me. I think I prefer pirate, actually. Sounds more adventerous, don't you think?"

"Fucking a pirate doesn't make you one, Greyer," Ashe said and playfully hit his shoulder.

"My Lady! Such language. I've never done any such thing. I might have lain with one, had sexual intercourse with..."

"Oh, Maker, stop it, you sound like a blushing maiden, it's creeping me out!" Ashe laughed. "Now get your pirate ass out of that chair and fetch me another drink, or I'll find someone who will."

"You wound me, My Lady." Hawke tried to look serious and failed miserably and Ashe's heart rate sped up as his dazzling smile broke through. "But for you, I'll do it anyway." He swept up her cup from the table and walked over to the bar. She watched the back of him until someone got in the way and obscured her view.

"I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself, Inquisitor."

Ashe looked up and smiled. "Hello, Leliana. What brings you down here?"

The other redhead sat down opposite her. "I heard you were asking around about Cullen earlier. To be honest, I don't know a thing about it. I've only heard the same rumors as you, that Mahariel wanted him to come, so he left. Nothing terrible about it, I suppose, he left all his officers in charge of his responsibilities, they're capable men. Besides, nothing serious is going on right now, anyway. Do you want me to look into it?"

Ashe felt her mood sour immediately. But she definitely needed to know what in the Fade Cullen was playing at. "Yes, please do. I don't care if he's left people in charge, he has to answer to me, he can't just go rogue like this whenever he pleases. It makes me look stupid, that I can't even keep track of my own general."

Leliana nodded. "Unfortunately, I agree. It was uncalled for to leave so hastily, without briefing us first." The spymaster looked over to the bar and raised her eyebrow when she spotted Hawke. "Oh, the Champion is still here?"

"Why wouldn't he be?" Ashe asked, ears prickled.

"Some of my scouts saw him head for the gate yesterday, fully armored and packed. I thought he was leaving. Especially since he's already informed me that he's getting nowhere with Anders."

Ashe felt her stomach sink like a rock through water. He wanted to leave, too? She got up from her chair. "Excuse me, Leliana."

She turned around and walked out of the tavern, her step a little unsteady, both from the alcohol and from the sick feeling of rejection in her stomach. The cool evening air did little to calm her, in fact, the quiet only made her feel more isolated.

"Hey! Hey, Ashe, stop! Where are you going?"

She kept walking, even as she heard that it was Greyer calling out to her, but he caught up with her quickly and put himself in front of her, forcing her to stop.

He looked surprised when he saw tears falling down her cheeks. "What's wrong, princess?" he asked and reached out to touch her, but she slapped his hand away.

"What do you care? You just want to leave like everybody else. Well, I'm not going to stop you," she sniffled and tried to step around him, but he wouldn't let her.

"Ashe, what are you babbling about? I'm right here, aren't I?"

"So who convinced you to stay?"

He looked taken aback by that. "I-I..."

"I knew it!" she yelled. "You really were leaving, without telling me? Why is everyone acting so fucking strange? It's still me, despite what Anders... what he did to me. I mean, I know I'm not as desirable anymore, not after what you all saw, but..."

Hawke's face hardened. "Stop talking such utter nonsense. Not desirable? That's not the fucking problem, Ashe, for Andraste's sake. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you know I have other business to attend to, you knew I couldn't stay here forever."

"So why don't you just get the fuck out of here right now, then?" she said, trying very hard not to let her voice break. She was so angry, so humiliated. Even Hawke, her best friend and her strongest supporter, wanted to leave. She shoved him hard in the chest. She knew it was childish of her but it felt good to take her anger out on something.

He grabbed her wrists and held her in an iron hard grip until she stopped struggling. "I didn't leave because I couldn't leave you. But if you want me to go, I will. If you're only reacting like this now because you feel lonely without Alistair or Cullen, I'll leave right now."

She didn't miss the flicker of hurt that passed in his eyes as he said the last words.

Andraste forgive me, why am I being such a bitch?

She relaxed and he loosened his grip, letting her hands slide down into his.

"Please don't think that, Greyer. I won't pretend I'm not angry with Cullen, he's my general and he just up and left, he made me look weak. But I want you here because I enjoy your company."

Hawke's eyes softened, but he looked very sad. "And I enjoy yours, princess. Far too much."

He let go of her and turned around and started walking toward the keep.

"Wait!" she called out and he stopped, his back still to her. "What... what do you mean, 'too much'?"

She could see him shaking his head. He glanced back at her. "If you want me to stay a while longer, I will. But just as friends. I can't handle anything else."

Ashe felt hurt and relieved at the same time. Relieved he would stay, and a little hurt and confused about the 'just friends'-part. They'd never had a problem being more than that before. But she nodded, desperate to make him stay.

"I need to sleep this off, I'm sorry, princess. We'll speak tomorrow," he said and this time, she didn't know what to say, so she let him go.

The following week, Ashe tried to make up for her childish outburst outside the tavern. She didn't want Hawke to think that she was immature, so she invited him to spar with her, to take walks in the garden now that the weather was warming up. She made a point to clear her schedule as often as she could to spend time with him, and she tried to respect his wish to keep their relationship friendly and nothing more. It was hard at times, since he was so easy to talk to and he made her laugh so much. He was too funny, handsome and just the right amount of sarcastic, honest and downright hot to ignore, but she tried not to think about it. Tried not to look at him too much when they sat opposite each other playing a game in the garden, tried not to feel warm inside when his fingers brushed her skin when he showed her something in a book. She tried very hard not to drool when he tossed his shirt to the side when he sparred with her, barely making it through without doing it.

She was proud of herself for acting like an adult, and he seemed to loosen up more as more time went by, and seemed pleased that she was laughing so much.

She did an excellent job, right up until it all started to unravel. She'd been raiding the kitchen with him late one night after staying up for far too long, playing chess in his room. The cook almost caught them and they ran giggling and laughing through the dark corridors of Skyhold with the cook yelling after them, after having gorged themselves on sweets and wine that were actually meant for a visiting party of dignitaries arriving the next morning. The angry cook had almost caught up with them when Hawke pulled Ashe through a door and wounded up in a linen closet. It was dark and cramped, and she could barely see his face as he clamped his hand over her mouth to stop her from laughing.

"Has he left?" Hawke whispered and looked at the door. Ashe watched his face through the gloom, only a few rays of light reaching in through cracks in the door.

Maker, he was so sexy with his flushed cheeks, his black and (for now) neatly trimmed beard. She became acutely aware of how close they were standing, practically pressed together in the cramped space. Heat rolled off his body and she told herself she was only pressing closer since she was a little bit cold. He looked at her when she shivered.

"You cold, princess?" He moved his hand from her mouth to her neck, pulling her closer to him. She gasped softly as she stumbled into him and felt his leg between hers. He inhaled sharply at the contact, and Ashe was sure that he was going to pull away. When he didn't, she decided to try her luck.

"I think I can still hear him out there."

Hawke smiled. "I guess we're stuck in here a little longer then. All because you had to have a snack, Your Worship."

She hit him lightly in the chest. "Hey! Wasn't it you who agreed it was a fantastic idea?"

He pulled her tighter against him to stop her from hitting him again. "Don't know what you're talking about," he whispered, still smiling.

Her hands slipped down his back, and she could feel him shudder underneath her fingertips. His leg moved ever so slightly between hers again, and she pressed herself against him even tighter, heat building up in her core. She could feel him growing hard against her.

"Greyer... I want you," she whispered and he groaned at her words, fisting his hand in her hair.

"Fuck, we shouldn't..." he whispered back.

Her fingers played with the lining to his breeches. "Why?" she breathed, shutting her eyes and tilting her head back as his lips touched the skin of her neck.

"I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

"So don't," she whispered. "I want you, Greyer," she repeated. "Don't you want me?"

He laughed harshly at that, humorless. "Don't be silly. I'm sure you can feel how much I want you," he murmured.

"So what's stopping you?"

He stared at her for a moment, before she began stroking her hand against the fabric trapping his cock underneath. With a growl, he pushed her back into the shelf behind her, and pulled her leggings down before he freed himself from his breeches.

She moaned loudly when he rubbed his finger against her slit before he slipped a finger into her and started to work on her. He nibbled at her neck when she wrapped her hand around his cock.

"Maker, yes, bite me harder," she moaned.

He pushed another finger into her. "You're such a filthy girl," he hissed before he bit her, hard, marking her neck and her shoulder. She shuddered in pleasure and she was so wet, desperate to be filled up by his hard cock.

"Keep talking to me like that, you make me so fucking horny," she whispered and shifted so that his cock was angled against her cunt.

"You just couldn't help yourself, huh? Such a bad, bad girl, even after I've told you we shouldn't do this. You fucking temptress." Her blood turned to fire as his voice growled in her ear. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you'll have to be carried out of here."

"Where will you carry me?" she asked, breathless as he sucked on her lower lip, still fucking her with his fingers and rubbing his cock against her wet pussy.

"I'll carry you to my bed, and then I'm going to fuck you until the sun comes up."

He grabbed his cock and shoved it into her.

"Oh, Maker," he groaned and started to thrust himself into her, slow at first, savoring her around him.

"Andraste, please... Please, Greyer, harder."

"Ugh... So hungry for me, Your Worship... So young and already so fucking depraved..." he grunted, fucking her so hard that she gasped with each thrust.

"Ye-yes, ohh, holy mother, that feels so good... Keep fucking me, just like that, please..."

"Please, what?" he hissed and tightened his hands around her waist.

"Please, ser. Please, harder..."

"Do you want me to leave bruises on you, filthy girl?"

She responded by putting her hands over his and squeezing even harder, gasping as the pain mixed with the immense pleasure of having him inside of her. He lowered his head and sucked on one of her hard, pink nipples, making her squirm and moan far too loud.

He clamped his hand over her mouth. "Keep quiet, girl, or I'm going to have to put my cock in your mouth to shut you up."

She only moaned harder at that.

"Suit yourself," he whispered and then he pushed her down to her knees. She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out and Hawke wasted no time pushing his rock hard cock into her, throwing his head back as the warm wetness of her mouth enngulfed him.

"That's it, good girl..." he murmured and grabbed the hair at the back of her head to set the pace just how he wanted it.

She licked and sucked and took him as deep into her throat as she could, jerking the base of his cock in the same rythm while she touched herself, desperate to release the pressure building in her. She rubbed her swollen clit while listening to his moans of pleasure, pride surging through her when he cursed as she hit him just right with the back of her tongue.

"Ahh, do you want it princess? Do you want to drink me up?" he groaned, voice strained and panting.

She nodded eagerly and re-doubled her effort to make him feel good.

"Fuck, here it comes," he whispered, his voice a hoarse mess as he came, moaning hard as he filled her mouth. Ashe swallowed and swallowed, greedily lapping up every last drop of him. He trembled when she swiped her tongue over him a final time before he pulled her up to her feet, holding his arms around her while leaning against the shelf.

Her smile faded and they both tensed when they heard footsteps approaching in the corridor outside.

She held up a finger against her lips and strained to hear who it was.

Two women? It must have been the servants.

"Shit, they're probably going to come in here to get new linen for the guest bedrooms they're making ready for tomorrow," Ashe whispered. Hawke dragged her with him a little further back and managed to squeeze them both in behind another shelf just as the door opened.

"I can't believe it! It's the news of the year, this is!" one of the servants said. Ashe could see through the shelf that there were three girls with baskets in their hands, all picking out fresh linen just as she'd thought. Fortunately, they didn't seem to notice her or Hawke.

"How in the bleedin' Fade do you know this already? No one knows yet, or we would 'ave heard of it, I'm sure!" another one of the girls said.

"'Cause Rico fancies me, and he's the one who handled the raven that brought the letter with the news. It didn't take much to coax it out of him," the first girl giggled.

"It's so romantic! The Hero of Ferelden, back from the dead, and now she's getting married!"

Ashe's stomach dropped. Alistair had sworn that things were over between them.

"I know! It's certainly going to put a stop to those rumors about her and the King. Did you hear that he actually fancies our Inquisitor?"

What? Didn't they just say...

"Of course, anyone with eyes could see how he looked at Lady Trevelyan when he visited. Her Worship must be over the moon, can you imagine? She could be Inquisitor and Queen of Ferelden! Oh, it'll be so grand! But of course, that would have to wait until after Lady Mahariel has married Commander Cullen."