It was a dark and troubled time. A powerful fire sorceress from the East, Princess Azula, newly crowned Fire Empress, was attempting to take over the entire world.

Her fire magic was so great that entire villages, towns, and armies were incinerated by magical fire. Using powerful dark relics, Azula summoned a dark army of battle goblins that numbered in the hundreds of thousands. Entire continents fell to her might.

…

In the small town of Peach Creek.

Big minds have big goals (like world domination, the complete destruction of all enemies); small minds have small goals.

In the case of Ed, Edd and Eddy… they wanted to make money so they could buy lots of jawbreaker candies. That was the end of their ambitious horizon. But what else could they aspire to? They were only teenagers, they didn't do too well in school, they were the neighborhood goofballs, and obviously… no girlfriends. Furthermore, all of their plans and scams to make money tended to backfire horrendously… with them caught on the wrong end of the explosions.

It usually went like this. First, Eddy, the youngest, shortest, but boldest of the group… their "leader" saw something that made his eyes go Greedy Mode. The vaguest idea, however retarded, would usually pop into his head about how money could be made and how it could all end with jawbreakers for everyone.

Then Edd, better known as "Double D," the shy, meek, nerd of the group with a funny black ski on his head, would concretize the plan. He'd go to a blackboard and do some thinking, maybe build a few overly fancy machines from scrap. Ed, the tallest (OH BOY was he tall), oldest, and the most idiotic of the group, would usually try to help.

Finally it would blow up… always… with near 100% probability.

Today, this act was playing out yet again.

The Eds hadn't thought this one through. They had tried to sell the kids on the block a "magical box" that printed money. While demonstrating the box's "magic" in order to trick the neighborhood into giving donations to Ed (who was supposedly having visions from the Money Fairy), Ed did a literal goof that gave up the entire act.

Now all the kids were chasing the Eds across the entirety of Peach Creek; they wanted their money back. They cornered the Eds, threw vegetables and eggs, and gave them a good thrashing. Eddy's precious money jar was removed from his grasp, evey single cent they had made… once again gone into the wind. The three of them were left, lying around awkwardly on the pavements.

"HAHAHA!" Kevin said as he walked away, adjusting his baseball cap. "DORKS!"

"You sure showed them," Sarah said, approvingly.

"CYA LATER LOSERS! A HAHA!"

Then they left.

Ed was the first to speak. "I… I dunno about you Eddy but me… me thinks we dun goofed."

"SHUT UP ED," Eddy snapped, as he wiped some egg yolk off his nose.

After brushing off the dirt and re-adjusting their clothes, the three Eds got up. They seemed forever destined for failure. The dreams of jawbreakers had once again crashed down.

"It's time to go home," Double D said. "We'll try again another time."

"Yeah I guess so," Eddy said sadly.

Ed started to run forward but for absolutely no reason tripped face down again. Eddy buried his face into his hands in disbelief. He was still kind of mad at Ed for messing up their act and giving them away, but it was a dumb plan to begin with.

Then it happened…

…

The skies turned from a cheerful cloudy blue to a distorted, sickly orange and yellow hue… all the clouds seem to disappear instantly.

"What… What is HAPPENING?!" Double D screamed out in panic.

Eddy looked around, frowning. "Dunno…"

"What did I miss?" Ed said, still on the ground.

And then the skies began to rain… hell fire. As if coming down from another dimension, thousands and thousands of purple and orange balls of pure hell fire began to descend upon the peaceful neighborhood of Peach Creek… it was a spectacle of pure destruction.

KA BOOM!

KA BOOM!

KA BOOM!

As the fireballs landed against the houses, trees and the clean lawns, they caused massive explosions and destruction on a hitherto unknown scale. The neighborhood was literally leveled by the hell fire.

Armageddon had come to Peach Creek. All around the Eds, explosions began to light up. It was only a matter of time before one of the fireballs landed on the Eds.

"The world is ending!" Double D screamed as he ran for cover. "THIS IS HOW WE ALL DIE!"

Ed got up, grabbed Eddy (he was so strong he lifted him up in a single move) and ran for the hills as well.

Terrified out of their wits, the three Eds threw themselves down inside a doghouse and took cover. There was no logical reason to expect this to be a safe place but it was Ed's bright idea. As the three of them kept their faces down, they prayed for survival.

"PLEASE ALMIGHTY" Eddy screamed over the sounds of the fire blasts going off all around them. He could smell the deathly smokes… "NOT BEFORE I MAKE MY MONEY!"

KA BOOM! KA BOOM! KA BOOM!

Eddy lost his vision as everything turned to darkness… and total silence.

…

Eddy opened his eyes.

The three Eds were still alive… or were they dead?

They stood on top of a sea of clouds; they seemed to be in some celestial realm. It was beautiful up here. The sun was nice and warm.

"Is… is this… is this heaven?" Double D asked.

"I don't like this…" Eddy said.

"It's… it's BEAUTIFUL!" Ed exclaimed.

Eddy looked down. He moved his foot around. He really WAS somehow standing on clouds.

A deep booming voice called out to them: "HELLO MY FRIENDS!"

The three Eds bumped into each other in surprise.

A blinding flash of light appeared before them, making them shield their eyes. When the light subsided, a figure dressed in white Ancient Greek robes stood before them. It was a middle-aged man with a beard and a stern face. He was looking directly at them.

"Who… who are you?" Double D asked.

"I am one of the guardians of the Earth," he said in a loud booming voice. "I have been here for thousands of years. I stand watch over the planet and its people."

"Are we dead?" Eddy asked.

"No," the guardian replied. "I saved you three. I teleported you here. Your time has not yet come. Because you… because you have a greater calling, a greater purpose."

It was lot to process for the three teens. So now magic was real? They were speechless.

"Listen to me very carefully," the guardian said. "Your world, Peach Creek, is under attack."

He waved his hand. At once, a very large moving image appeared in front of the Eds. It showed the raining hellfire, the destruction of Peach Creek, everything they held dear…

"Who… who could be committing all these atrocities?" Double D asked.

The guardian frowned; they really were Peach Creek locals. Did they not watch the news?

"This is the work of a powerful fire sorceress from the East, the greatest of firebenders," the guardian said. "Her name is Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, self-styled, the Fire Empress."

He waved his hand.

Peach Creek being incinerated was replaced with a new vision… a tall, powerful, dark-haired girl clad in an exotic battle dress of red, black and gold. She stood atop a tower. She was waving her hands around in highly practiced movements, conjuring up levitating orbs of powerful flames.

Her hair was arranged and tied upwards in the perfect style of oriental royalty. Her face and her hazel eyes were beautiful but also filled with pride, cruelty, and malice.

As she waved her hands around…

The images altered to show the global destruction being unleashed. Ba Sing Se, Townsville, Aron City, Middleton… all over the world, fire rained down from the sky. People, cities, armies… all literally burned away.

"You mean some mad chick is doing this?" Eddy said. "Quite a looker though."

"ME LIKE AZULA!" Ed said crassly.

"This is no laughing matter," the guardian said. He waved his hands and showed Azula leading a giant army of battle goblins; her beautiful face locked in an expression of arrogance and cruelty. The goblins were terrifying to behold. Their yellow and green faces, were dressed up in armor and leather, and they were carrying long spears, battle axes, swords… The banners of the Fire Nation were hoisted high into the air as the armies marched.

"She commands powerful fire magic," the guardian explained. "Using stolen dark relics, she has also got herself an army of hundreds of thousands of battle goblins, the largest in the known world. With this force and with her mastery of magic and the flames of darkness, she could take over the world and kill all of her enemies. Millions will die."

"Wow that sounds bad," Double D said, "Really bad. Are… are our parents…"

Eddy looked up with concern.

"They're fine," the guardian re-assured them. "There was an evacuation, your friends and family have made it. They were moved safely out of Peach Creek."

"Good," Eddy said. "Well err…. Thank you for telling us these… these THINGS. Now we must get going."

"Not so fast…" the guardian said. "I could return you all to Earth but it will only be a matter of time before Azula takes over the entire world. You and your friends, your families… you will have nowhere to hide. There is only one thing that can stop her… YOU."

Eddy blinked. He looked at the others; they shrugged. This was a bit too much…

"The three of you," the guardian said dramatically. "Are the only heroes who have a chance to stop her. If you don't try, Azula will take over the entire world and reign supreme as Empress of All Earth."

"Now that would be bad…" Ed muttered.

Eddy actually got a bit angry. He glared the guardian, "Why does it have to be US? Why don't YOU stop her? You're a god. We're not. We're just… we're just three loser kids in some neighborhood, what chance would we have against a powerful fire witch anyways?"

"Fire bender," the guardian corrected him. "And yes it has to be you. You are chosen. You have to face the insurmountable odds. We, the gods are hands off-"

"HOW CONVENIENT!" Eddy yelled.

"You are chosen, and there is no guarantee of victory," the guardian continued. "And if you fail, then the world will fall to fire, blood, and darkness. Everyone will bow at her feet."

"Eddy's right," Double D said. "We're… we're not warriors. You've got the wrong people. I mean… we can't even handle our SATs, our homework. We can't even make 20 bucks without-"

"Without Ed screwing it up," Eddy said, cross-eyed.

"Huh?" Ed asked.

"So Eddy's right," Double D said. "If we go against her, we'll be turned to barbeque. In the interest of self preservation, I think we should retreat."

"RETREAT!" Ed boomed. "RETREAT!"

The guardian was a bit put off. He was equally annoyed that the stars have chosen these three buffoons as the chosen heroes. It did seem like the entirety of heaven was going to pay for this gag…

"Come on," Eddy said. He turned around, grabbed his friends firmly and began to walk away. "Where's the way out old man?!"

The guardian had an idea.

"Of course," he said to them. "If you should prevail, there is a reward… a reward from the heavens of 10 million dollars."

Eddy stopped.

Ten… ten million…

He turned around. "Ten… ten million dollars?"

Double D turned around too, but he was worried because now Eddy was interested.

"E… Eddy…" he said cautiously, however, Eddy was already getting hooked.

Smiling, the guardian waved his hand. The image of Azula disappeared… instead, it was replaced with a literal ocean of floating 20 dollar bills, dollar signs, and multi-colored jawbreakers.

"Eddy," Double D reasoned. "I think this has to be a trick, gods don't give out money and it's also-"

"WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH!" Eddy screamed as he leapt into the air. "WHEN DO WE START?!"

Double D frowned. He had a feeling Eddy had just signed them up for a literal suicide mission.

The guardian smiled. "You start immediately."

He waved his hand. A green light lit up where Eddy stood. When the light subsided, a beautiful but very short sword with a jade green blade had appeared.

"WOW!" Ed cried out.

Eddy picked up the weapon, the weight and the height was perfect for the small teen to use.

"That is your chosen weapon," the guardian said. "It is crafted from the heavens. It will give you everything you need to vanquish your foes. We call her… Destiny Sword."

"Woah EDDY…" Double D said, his eyes admiring.

Eddy's face lit up with graceless greed as he held up the beautiful jade sword. "I bet this blade is worth more than twenty bucks…"

The guardian resisted the urge to strike them all down right now. What absolute morons. The world was literally doomed.

"The moment has come," the guardian said. "As we speak, Princess Azula herself has arrived to take control of Peach Creek. If Peach Creek falls, so will the rest of the world. She has built a large, powerful dark tower just outside of your beloved home. Her armies are here, they are attacking your lands as we speak."

The guardian waved his hand. The visions changed to give the Eds a clearer picture:

They saw it. The battles. The goblins overrunning everything, human soldiers desperately trying to hold out. Azula standing over a balcony in a Dark Tower, casting fire spells powerful enough to curse and strike down entire armies. A vision of Peach Creek was lit up by a raging inferno of hell fire.

"Have we… have we lost already?" Double D asked.

"Not yet," the guardian said. "A last alliance of soldiers and heroes has gathered to face down and fight against her giant army. However, without your help, the heroes will lose."

"What do you want us to do?" Double D asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"You have to distract and defeat Azula," the guardian said. "I will teleport the three of you inside her Dark Tower where you will face her down and fight her. If you defeat her, then the focus of her evil army will be broken and the forces of good will prevail. You are humanity's only hope."

"You're moving us to the tower?" Double D asked, incredulous. "But wouldn't it be swamped with her minions?"

"Her sole focus right now is on the resistance army," the guardian replied. "The entire tower is mostly empty."

"But she has MAGIC-" Double D began.

"Wait… this… this plan… this plan SUCKS!" Eddy protested.

"I LIKE IT!" Ed cried.

"We would still get paid even if we fail right?" Double D asked.

The guardian was done with them and their idiocy. If democracy had to fall, then let it be sooner.

"Off you go!"

He waved his hands. The three Eds teleported away in a blaze of blue light, just as Eddy was about to object again.

…

Hundreds of fireballs continued to rain down on Peach Creek.

In the distance, not too far from the edges of the town, a tall, ominous, mighty Dark Tower had appeared out of thin air. It was the Fire Nation's teleporting command center, a focal point for the world's most powerful and evil magic.

In the distance, over the fields outside of Peach Creek, a cataclysmic battle between the forces of good and evil was taking place.

The three Eds appeared inside a high floor inside the Dark Tower itself.

"I… I think this must be some kind of a nightmare," Double D said as he looked around.

"Cheer up Double D," Eddy said as he waved his green Destiny Sword around. "We are CHOSEN to save the day. It's time to get rich."

Ed had started to run up a flight of stairs, as he did so, he cried out: "A HA HA HA! We're coming! We're COMING!"

Eddy and Double D rushed after him before he gave the whole game away.

On a higher floor, a young dark priestess Kataryn was walking about the corridors. The young woman was pale and had long flowing red hair; she was wearing dark robes. She was carrying a series of forbidden scrolls in her pale manicured fingers.

She turned in shock as suddenly, the massive Ed ran straight into her.

"OOPS!" Ed cried out as he tried to stop but it was too late. He rammed into her at a strong momentum, knocking her into a wall as he tripped over her chest, pinning her down.

"CURSES!" Kataryn cried out as she tried to move Ed off her but he was too big and too heavy.

Eddy and Double D showed up; they were surprised. Eddy improvised quickly.

He aimed and pointed his Destiny Sword, the sharp end, at Kataryn's pale face.

"Where's your evil empress' throne room," Eddy asked, mustering uncharacteristic fierceness and courage (at least as much as he could). "Where's Azula?"

Kataryn smirked. She was beaten, but there was no way these idiots would defeat the Fire Princess herself.

"You seek your doom?" she said, an evil smile on her face. "Very well. Climb those stairs to you left and they will lead you to the dragon throne."

"Hmmmm kay," Eddy said. Immediately, he turned around and walked towards the stairs.

"I COME TOO!" Ed cried as he helped himself up.

The three of them had barely walked a few steps when Kataryn tried murder them from behind. The young evil red-haired priestess had gotten up and was sneaking up from behind them, a dagger raised in one of her hands.

She would kill Ed first since he was the biggest.

Eddy's sword suddenly glowed a powerful bright green, as if warning them. Eddy stopped moving.

"I think the sword is trying to tell you something," Double D said.

Eddy turned around. Just in time to see the screaming Kataryn run at them, knife raised and ready to stab.

Eddy reacted by instinct and swung his small, glowing sword.

The flat edge of the blade connected with the side of Kataryn's body and robes.

ZAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!

Powerful, green cackling electricity travelled from Eddy's sword to her body. It washed over her entire form, frying the evil girl from head to toe and dousing her with electricity.

"YIAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHH!"

Almost at once, she dropped her dagger. She danced around uselessly as the green lightning continued to transmit throughout her entire body. Finally, her eyes rolled upwards as she buckled over and fell down, defeated and unconscious.

Eddy was awestruck. "Wow… what… what did I just do?"

"I think you just managed to defeat an evil assassin," Double D said, impressed.

"Hey…" Eddy said, admiring his sword, it had returned to normal. "Maybe I am a hero… maybe… maybe we can win after all. Maybe we ARE THE HEROES IN THIS STORY!"

"JAWBREAKERS!" Ed cried out.

The three Eds high fived each other, emboldened to face their destiny at last.