025. Deprivation

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"I need... some space."

When Shadow said that to Tikal, he knew that the poor echidna didn't understand what he was referring to.

It had been a few weeks since the two of them started this... relationship with one another. The others didn't know, yet. Even though Tikal would've preferred being honest with them, Shadow would rather choke. It was far too early to blast everyone with the news and he wasn't ready for certain people's reactions... Knuckles's specifically.

But the thing is, Tikal was becoming a touchy hazard.

She didn't know anything about a romantic relationship. Sure, she heard of it but she was completely oblivious with how to be in one. He wasn't that any better either since it was his first time too, but Shadow kept up with the world and would pass by people that were in relationships. He knew the set boundaries and what to do in them. He just wasn't interested until... well, now.

Tikal liked kissing him, a lot. And hugging him. And holding his hand. Whenever she got the chance to, she would do all those things. He didn't mind of course, but it was becoming a little too much and the last thing he wanted was for things to move too fast and not work out in the end. Temptations would arise and Shadow didn't want the echidna to feel uncomfortable, because the scary part was that he could see himself spiralling out of control and Tikal probably had no idea what happened beyond the kissing part in a relationship. She was far too innocent.

She was confused at first. "...What do you mean?"

He found it difficult to explain. "I mean we need to take a break... from this."

Shadow saw her flinch, the hurt in her eyes already showing in split seconds. It made him feel so damn shitty and she looked like she was about to cry, adding more pressure onto the situation.

"D-Do you not want to be with me?" Tikal asked, tears brimming her eyes in worry.

"No! I-" Shadow took a deep breath and rubbed his temples with his hand, thinking why the hell she would think so lowly of him and decided to put it more gently, "I do want to be with you, Tikal. I just think we need some," his jaw clenched as he forced out the next words whilst seeing how upset she was getting, "Personal... space..."

Tikal stayed quiet for moment as she bit the corner of her lip before stammering out an, "O-Okay..."

Shadow looked at her, his chest aching all of a sudden. He sighed inwardly but nodded slowly anyway. "Okay."

She slipped past his arms and took a step back as she nodded also. "I-I'll see you later then? Or... whenever you feel like it," Tikal nodded one more time, shooting him a small quivering smile, "Enjoy your lunch."

"Tikal-"

She walked out of his office quickly before he could say anything. When the door shut, Shadow leaned against his desk and shook his head, growling a little whilst he closed his eyes.

God damn it.

...

The next few days were busy for Shadow. He didn't have time to think about a lot of things as he was sent on an investigation upon investigation. Doctor Eggman would be causing a havoc again and he just had so much paper work to do.

He walked down the halls of the GUN building with a binder before stopping at Rouge's office. The door was already open and so he strolled in quietly, which he shouldn't have bothered to really because Rouge wouldn't even knock at his office before barging herself in.

"Rouge," he called out to her and lifted his face up from his folder, "I need the-"

His sentence was swallowed down completely when Rouge was blurred out from his vision as his gaze was dead set onto the orange echidna sitting next to her. The both of them looked up at him but Tikal quickly drifted her eyes down somewhere else, twiddling her thumbs in front of her lap as she pretended to pay him no mind.

Rouge was oblivious to the tension as she spoke. "Hey Shadow," she stopped her giggling fit and it made him twitch because what were they finding so amusing before he came in? Rouge gestured over the things on her table, "Sorry, Tikal was an angel and brought me some lunch and we talked a little. I lost track of time."

His posture stiffened ever so lightly. Lunch? She brought Rouge lunch?

He cast his eyes down at the half eaten chicken sandwich and vanilla cheesecake on Rouge's desk. The same thing she would bring for him.

Oh, but there were pickles in that sandwich. He hated pickles.

So she made that with Rouge in mind and not him.

Shadow's lip thinned, trying to not let the small ache forming in his chest get in the way of what his original task was.

When he said that he wanted some space, he didn't mean for Tikal to just blatantly avoid him. No. He would like to talk to her without a lot of the kissing, the hugging, the touching. Yeah, Tikal still probably didn't understand what he meant by that so she must've gotten the wrong message. Was it the way he said it? The way he executed it? Granted, if she did bother coming by his office to give him his food, it would've been awkward and uncomfortable for the both of them given their new circumstances. Was that it?

He was getting a headache. He was thinking way too damn much.

Tikal's voice cut through his thoughts. "I-I'm going to get going now, Amy wanted me to help out with the café."

Or the reason could've been that she just wanted to not be in the same room as him right now. Shadow had to bite back his tongue from saying the retort.

"All right, Tikal," Rouge swallowed her piece of sandwich and smiled, "Thanks for the food! You're a star!"

Tikal smiled back at her and walked past him without a second glance. The faint smell of her orange scented shampoo suddenly intoxicated his nose and Shadow actually had to refrain himself from completely losing it. He glanced back, watching as she went with Omega so that she could be escorted out safely.

He didn't realise his grip onto his binder had been increasing so quickly either.

"Well, someone's in a mood," Rouge said, making him turn back to her as she began eating her cheesecake. The cheesecake Tikal made for her and not for him, "Something wrong?"

Shadow suppressed all of the things he was feeling right now besides the subtle clench against his jaw. He looked down at Rouge's desk and found the paper documents he needed. He snatched them and stomped out without a word, ignoring Rouge's calls as he slammed the door shut behind him.

...

The next morning, he dragged himself to work but decided to stop by Amy's café since it was only a block away. He walked inside, the bell ringing and he was thankful that it wasn't busy.

"Morning!" Amy called out as she popped in some coins into the cash register, "Welcome to- oh hello Shadow!"

He nodded and gave her his flask. "Morning. Just a regular, please."

"Coming right up!" the pink hedgehog took his change before calling from the back, "Tikal! Could you come over and do this order, please? I need to check if Sonic's counting up the business cheques right."

Before Shadow could register what was said, it wasn't long before he had locked his eyes with Tikal again. She had just come out, tying the apron around herself when she stopped abruptly when she saw him.

She looked like she made the biggest mistake in the world and glanced nervously at Amy, who just smiled at her and disappeared into the back. Tikal just stood still and he saw her readjusting her uniform, more than a few times than one would do. Shadow couldn't keep his eyes off of her as the echidna timidly walked to the front, taking his flask and started to make his drink. He watched her grinding the coffee beans and then working the machine, surprised she was able to work it so quickly and fluidly. She mixed in the milk before closing the cap shut.

He was such an idiot. He was getting mesmerised by Tikal making coffee.

Was it becoming too much now? This was clearly drawing the line.

She turned around but kept her eyes down at the counter as she handed him his drink. Shadow's frowned sharpened but he took the drink anyway, purposefully making their hands brush against each other's. She yelped lightly and shot her gaze up at him, a blush forming her cheeks but she quickly pulled her hand away and averted her attention back to something else.

He saw Sonic entering from the back, giving him one of his usual annoying snarky greetings. It didn't surprise Shadow that the blue hedgehog worked here. Probably by force from Amy and the argument must've been the fact he should help with her business and do something other than running or fighting the Doctor.

It could have been laughable to him really... If he wasn't so pissed off at the fact that Tikal actually smiled when Sonic came to stand right next to her.

What the fuck...

No. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't jealous of Sonic, of all people. He wouldn't go so low to think that.

He was just losing his patience. He was becoming frustrated. If he could, he would just throw a chaos spear in Sonic's direction for standing too close to her and walk out without a care in the world. He would, he really would.

But Shadow wasn't going to be an idiot and cause a scene. So he just muttered a 'thank you' before making a sharp turn and left, his grip on his flask threatening to break in his hand.

...

Shadow walked into the store and picked up a basket. If there was anything rewarding about getting off work early, it was for the fact that he had time to do some grocery shopping for himself. He didn't eat much but sometimes he was in the mood for some snacks and a really nice home cooked meal, courtesy of his own decent culinary skills.

He strolled along the cooking sauce isle and reached up for the pasta sauce. When he put it into his basket among all the other things he had, Shadow's ears twitched when he heard faint familiar laughter sounding from another corner.

"Charmy, will you shut up about the pudding?! I said I was sorry!"

God. Why the hell did Vector have to be so loud for?

But that wasn't what was grinding his ears and teeth. From his peripheral, he saw orange popping out amongst the Chaotix gang and he wanted to die right then and there.

What was Tikal doing with them?

"I'm not gonna, Vector!" Charmy whined and flailed about, "That was my favourite pudding and I can't even find it here!"

"That's because we're in the wrong aisle," Espio chimed in calmly, "It's two sections down from this one."

Ah, yes. Espio was the only one with a brain in the group. Chaos bless him.

"We can't stay here for too long though. Knuckles wants Tikal back soon," Vector said and took a look at his wrist watch, "Come on, Charmy! Hurry up and go find it!"

When Shadow finally turned his head to look at them, he caught Tikal smiling at the group but she blinked when she felt being watched. She saw him and stilled, and then quickly moving her eyes back onto the other guys. Pretending again she didn't just see him then.

Vector noticed him as well and smirked. "Well, if it isn't Shadow. Fancy seeing you here!"

Espio nodded in acknowledgment and Charmy just beamed at him.

Shadow stayed quiet, solely focusing his attention on Tikal, pathetically hoping she would look at him once again. But she didn't and gestured over to Charmy that she'd help him find his pudding. When she walked away with the small bee, Vector and Espio decided to hang back with him.

"Man, I've never seen someone as patient and kind as Tikal... besides Cream's mother of course!" Vector cackled out and scratched the back of his head, "But I gotta say... she's pretty cute. You think so, Espio?"

"Tikal?" Espio questioned, humming as he crossed his arms and shrugged, "I guess."

Shadow gritted his teeth, unknowingly emitting out a low growl. When the two of them heard him, Vector stared at him incredulously. "What's up with you, Shadow? You look sorta... pissed."

He snapped the crocodile a harsh glare, wanting nothing more than to throw his basket at him. Shadow decided to breathe in steadily and tried his best to compose himself. "Nothing," he seethed, his blood almost raging, "Nothing at all."

...

Cream's mother, Vanilla, decided to host a picnic for everyone in the park. Shadow had no reason to go as he'd rather stay put in his office or at home, and try not think about Tikal for at least a second.

But obviously Shadow could never get what he wanted. No. Rouge just had to drag him and Omega out of the GUN facilities to go to the bloody picnic party. Omega was a robot, but he didn't seem to mind about going. Cream wanted him there anyway so they could play and feed those stupid pigeons or ducks, whatever they liked doing.

But Shadow, Shadow minded going. He didn't want to be there for obvious reasons. Though, he couldn't tell Rouge or anyone for that matter about that. He just hated how soft he was becoming when it came to invitations. He couldn't seem to just flat out refuse anymore.

And it was all because of an orange echidna changing his perspective on things.

Shadow sat cross-legged next to Rouge as he idly watched Omega and Cream from a distance sitting by a small lake feeding the ducks some bread.

Everyone was talkative. Rouge would pry on him to interact with their friends and while he would have, a little, he wasn't in the mood this time. He would just shamelessly stare at Tikal who would be handing out the food and drinks to everyone with Amy. Of course, as the two of them were serving everything he'd always end up having Amy that would be giving his food on the side he was sitting on, because it was blatantly obvious that Tikal was purposefully serving the other side just so she wouldn't have to face him.

Space. This was the space he was asking from her?

No. This was fucking avoidance.

And Shadow found himself wanting to snatch Tikal away somewhere and make things right again.

She didn't even look like she was suffering from it either. It seemed to be just him. Just him. Tikal would talk and smile happily with the others like the other day didn't happen. Like their whole agreement seemed like a fucking break up to her.

Chaos, Shadow just wanted to have a normal conversation with her. Was that so much to ask? Then again, since their relationship had progressed to the point where a conversation would turn into a small kiss and another and another, Shadow just wanted... to be with her again. He was missing her already.

Great, now he was the one looking like a fool for wanting to kiss and touch her again. He thought that the temptations were bad when they were close to each other, but they were even worse when they weren't.

Shit. What a moron he was.

When Tikal noticed him looking at her, yet again, their eyes locked again and they held it for what seemed like forever. But Shadow was too angry at himself, at her, at this whole mess of a situation that he snapped his eyes away and decided to go for a walk, ignoring everything and everyone else around him.

...

It was Shadow's day off and he was flipping through the channels on his TV. As usual, nothing ever good was on to catch his attention so he just turned it off and tossed the remote on the other side of the couch.

Maybe he should just sleep. He finished all his paperwork and didn't have any errands to run. He was tired and the lack of sleep was really starting to tire out his body.

His door bell suddenly rang. Shadow looked up at the clock to see it was just past five in the afternoon.

He felt like not answering at all and just head to bed, to finally grab some shut eye. But when it rang again, he groaned longingly and trudged along the foyer before opening the door.

When Tikal stood before him with a container in hand, wearing nothing but a blue dress that hugged all the right spots on her body and showed her tantalising legs-

Okay shut up, you idiot.

Shadow swallowed, taking in her appearance and flickered his eyes back up at her. "Yes?"

Tikal winced a little at his tone and bit her lip. "...C-Can I come in?"

He stared at her, trying to remain as passive as possible. Should he? Slamming it shut right in front of her was out of the line and he just didn't have it in him to do that to her. He opened the door wider and stepped to the side for her to come in. Shutting the door behind him when she did, Shadow turned back to the echidna and crossed his arms, a frown forming against his mouth as he waited for her to speak.

She noticed his reluctance and impatience and stammered out her next question. "Have you... eaten anything?"

His answer was simple. "Just coffee."

She gave him a hesitant nod and paid her attention to his eyes. "Y-You look tired..."

"Yeah well, that's what hours of paperwork does to you," Shadow said, unable to hide his vivid sarcasm and scoff in his voice. That's what days of you avoiding me on purpose does to me.

Tikal grimaced and anxiously gripped onto the container box. She was aware that he wasn't in the mood for small talk. Good. He hated beating around the bush.

"I thought I'd bring you something anyway," she lifted the container that had his favourites, a chicken salad sandwich and a strawberry cheesecake. Shadow just looked down at it and not made any gesture that he would take it. When he looked back up at her, he saw her lips quivering as she forced herself to continue, "S-So you would have something to eat..."

For a few seconds, he thought of declining. Everything that had happened the past couple of days involving her had him exhausted more than he needed to be. So why not be petty just like she was with him?

But seeing how vulnerable Tikal looked... he just couldn't do that. It would break her more than it would frustrate and anger him. It wasn't worth the torture and mess it would cause for the both of them. The last thing Shadow wanted to do was to hurt her. Out of pure spite nonetheless.

He took the container and set it aside. Tikal blinked up at him confusedly but Shadow paid no mind and wrapped his arms around her, backing her up against the wall before kissing her.

At first, Tikal stiffened and she wasn't moving her lips with his. So Shadow pressed their bodies together even more, making her let out a gasp as they broke away briefly. He connected their lips again and she hesitantly snaked her arms onto his shoulders and then secured them around his neck, pulling him in closer. Her delicate hands combed his quills as the kiss deepened. Shadow trailed one hand down the side of her body, his fingers teasingly pulling on her dress before they reached her legs. The dress was so short that the lace of it only reached her mid thigh, and he hoped to Chaos that no one disturbed her when she was making her way here. He hoped.

His hand crept its way underneath her dress, rubbing her thigh in a slow and soft motion. They pulled away, Tikal catching her breath with her flushed cheeks before Shadow peppered kisses over her muzzle and down her neck, enjoying the smoothness of her skin.

He felt like a fool. Here he was kissing Tikal when he was the one that asked for some space, which she complied in the most painful way possible. Now he couldn't keep his hands off of her. Being deprived away from her for so long and all...

"Mm, w-wait," Tikal pushed him off gently and caught her breath again. Shadow tried to lean in again but she placed her finger against his lips, making him huff in displeasure. She shot him a sheepish smile and covered his mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Shadow muffled, not thinking much of it and pulled her hand away.

"No, Shadow," she giggled softly as he began kissing her knuckles, "I mean I'm really really sorry," Tikal pressed her lips together, her smile faltering a little, "I should've never reacted the way I did."

Shadow gave her a wry glare. "Yeah, you shouldn't have."

Tikal nodded, embarrassed. "I-It won't happen again."

He pressed their foreheads together with a smirk. "It better not."

"It won't," the echidna blushed and wrapped her arms around him before she pondered, "You were right about needing space. I'm sorry I didn't understand that. I'm just really... new to this."

"So am I," Shadow sighed through his nostrils and ran his fingers down the end of her dreads, "I apologise if I made it seem I didn't want us progress. I do."

Tikal shook her head. "It's okay, Shadow. I was the one who overreacted."

He smiled shortly. "Should we try again?"

"I don't know," she shrugged one shoulder in a teasing manner, "You don't seem to be wanting to right now..."

Shadow gave her a pointed look and then lifted her up off her feet bridal style before heading towards the stairs.

"Wait," Tikal laughed and gestured over to the food, "Don't you want to eat first?"

He glanced over to the container but dismissed it. "I'd rather take a nap," he told her, his eyes suddenly growing tired, "With you."

She smiled up at him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "All right then."