I've been hitting a bit of a writer's block with my other stuff, unfortunately, so I ended up writing this...disaster, of sorts, to get the gears moving again (and it is a disaster, because the ninja are a disaster here, as they always are). For a little bit of background, this was inspired by an ask I got on tumblr suggesting to use the phrase "you bed bath and betrayed me" in a fic - which is ridiculous, but I ended up with 8K words out of it, so. Here's the ninja being disasters, with a healthy dose of Skylor love, because it's what she deserves XD
(also I am still getting to replies on the Mandalorian AU but thank you SO much to everyone bc I'm so happy? you guys liked it that much, i keep re-reading reviews and crying when I need motivation :'D)
1. My. Kazami's Ramen Place
At this point, sadly, Skylor's used to it.
It's around a quarter to noon on a Monday, just as she's leaving the noodle shop for her well-deserved lunch break, when a familiar scream splits the relatively-quiet afternoon air on this side of Ninjago City.
The only reason Skylor does not immediately dissolve into panic at said scream is because she is — also sadly — familiar with the variations of it, and this one sounds less like it's Lloyd's "I'm-in-terrible-danger-and/or-pain-again" scream, and more like his "I'm-free-falling-on-purpose-from-the-sky-again" scream. Which is, in and of itself, not entirely concerning. In fact, it'd probably be more unusual not to see Lloyd go falling from the sky at some point during any of the ninjas' higher-than-eight-feet battles, because somehow that's become a habitual thing. The sky is blue, fire is hot, Kai uses hair gel — Lloyd is going to drop screaming from the sky at some point this month.
So instead of panicking, Skylor figures she'll just stand in the vicinity until Lloyd either climbs out of another dumpster, or lands on top of her. Kai doesn't seem to be around to catch him, so Skylor's prepared to step up, even though it looks like Lloyd's got a pretty good handle on landing, at the angle she's watching him from.
Still though, she muses. You'd think he'd have started actively wearing a parachute at this point.
"Kai suggested that," Lloyd says, after he's finally able to stand straight, and he's not quite as cross-eyed. He frowns at his reflection in a store window as they pass by, scuffing at his windblown hair again. "But it gets in the way, you know? It throws off my backflips."
"That's a nail in the coffin right there," Skylor agrees, leading them across another sidewalk. Lloyd's attracting a lot of looks, with his bright green battle gi and razor-sharp sword strapped across his back, but fortunately no one's started crowding them yet. Probably because the razor-sharp sword strapped to his back. "Can't have your fighting style completely crippled," she adds.
"I don't backflip that much," Lloyd huffs. Yes, you do, is on the tip of Skylor's tongue, because she's seen him fight, but she decides not to pick that battle…this time.
"Besides," Lloyd continues. "I don't really need a parachute, anyways. I always make sure to aim for like, somewhere safe to land. Relatively safe. Safe-ish."
Skylor eyes him. "You landed in a dumpster."
Lloyd bristles in offense. "I did not! It was a perfectly respectable recycling bin."
"Same thing, if you ask me."
"Not even close. Dumpsters are gross. Recycling bins you just crash through a whole bunch of cardboard and old newspapers. It's luxury trash diving."
Skylor just sighs, shaking her head, and edits the text she's been tapping out for Kai.
Skylor: found your kid in a recycling bin
Skylor: taking him to lunch bc you're clearly starving him again
Skylor: he's alive btw
Kai: oh thank fsm
Kai: tell him he's grounded
Kai: u never take me for lunch :(
Skylor: maybe if u dropped on me from the sky sometime i would
"Hey, are the others busy?" she asks Lloyd in afterthought. "Like…fighting anyone?"
"Huh?" Lloyd blinks. He then flushes, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah, no. We'd pretty much finished up the fight when I, uh…there was a break-in, on the Bounty? We had the guys all taken care of, but they blew part of the mast up, and it left debris all over the deck, so I kind of…maybe….tripped…"
Lloyd is bright red by the time he finishes the sentence. Skylor wouldn't feel so bad about it, if she wasn't doubled over laughing at him in the middle of rush hour traffic.
"You are a trained ninja," she breathes out, between snickers.
"I know," Lloyd moans.
"You're like, part god."
"I know," Lloyd moans again, into his hands this time. Skylor has to grab his shoulders and forcibly drag him along down the crowded street, trying not to cringe inside at all the looks they're getting.
"Kai says you're grounded, by the way," she says, as the last of her laughter fades.
That snaps Lloyd out of it. "He can't ground me," he scowls. "I'm leader."
"Stop falling from the sky, and maybe he'll give it a rest," Skylor replies, glancing down as her phone buzzes again.
Kai: I'd join u but I'm stuck on prison delivery
Kai: nya's coming to pick up the demon spawn tho
Skylor: nice I've been wanting to buy her lunch
Kai: cruel
"—don't know what you mean, I don't fall that often, and most of the time it's on purpose, anyways—"
Skylor chooses to ignore Lloyd's slightly-concerning, sulking rambling, and pats his shoulder instead. "Nya's coming for lunch, too," she says. "Does ramen sound good?"
"Oh, yeah." Lloyd brightens, seemingly cheered by the reminder he's getting food out of this. "It's been a while since I've eaten out."
"I can tell," Skylor says, eyeing him. "Cole hasn't been cooking for you, has he?"
"No, but we put Zane on mandatory break so he could relax a bit, and we're all suffering for it."
Lloyd and Skylor both jump at Nya's voice, not having heard her coming up behind them.
"Nya!" Lloyd beams. "Skylor is — ouch, hey, let go!"
"That's what you get for giving me gray hairs again," Nya scolds, digging her knuckles into Lloyd's hair. She looks up from the hold she's pulled him into, and smiles brightly at Skylor. "Hi, Skylor. Nice to see you."
"Hi, Nya." Skylor gives a little wave, watching Lloyd squirm out of Nya's grasp in amusement.
"So, ramen?" Nya says, giving Lloyd one last elbow in the side before joining Skylor.
"Yeah," she says. "I was thinking the place down on seventh, the Sobahouse, I think?"
Lloyd and Nya both stiffen, their steps slowing. Skylor pauses, turning to stare at them in confusion. "That's not the one owned by someone named Mr. Kazami, is it?" Nya finally asks, hesitantly.
"Uh, yeah, it is, actually," Skylor blinks. "He's pretty nice, we go to the same grocer on weekends."
"Ah," Lloyd says, carefully.
"Hm," Nya hesitates.
Skylor looks between the two of them, now completely stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. She really hopes no one is getting pictures of her like this. There are enough flash articles about the rumored orange ninja cryptid on the internet as it is. "Is that…a problem?"
Nya pointedly stares at the sky as if it's the most interesting thing she's seen all day. Baffled, Skylor tries the weaker link. Lloyd swallows, avoiding her eyes as he bounces from leg to leg, as if the mere thought of trying to enter the restaurant is terrifying. Which is mildly alarming, because this is the same kid who power-walked straight into a prison full of escaped violent criminals, his psychotic ex, and his undead murderous dad without hesitation.
"We can't," Lloyd finally mutters, staring at the sidewalk. Nya elbows him in the side, hissing "weak link" as she does. Lloyd just glares at her.
"O-okay," Skylor says, unsure. "I mean, that's fine if you guys want to go somewhere else. I just didn't know you…didn't like this place…"
"No, we do," Lloyd grinds out, and he looks more embarrassed than terrified now, so Skylor aborts her half-formed plans of speed-dialing Karloff. "We just can't. Go in, that is. We're not allowed to."
Skylor stares at him. "You're not allowed in? Why not?"
"Because," Nya forces through gritted teeth. "They banned us."
"They what?" Skylor gapes.
Nya presses her lips together tightly. Lloyd stares very hard at the ground, as if desperately trying to convince himself to keep quiet. Skylor can pinpoint the moment he breaks, his expression contorting as he throws his hands up wildly. "You blow their electrical system up one time—"
"Oh guys, no," Skylor groans, before bursting into laughter at him for the second time that day. Lloyd looks incredibly unappreciative, his expression scrunching up in annoyance like she hasn't seen since that one stupid skating match with Chamille, and that just makes her laugh harder.
"We were trying to save them!" Nya defends indignantly. "It's not our fault they had weak wiring—"
"I just got a little too into it, it's — it's Nya's fault, she's the one that said it'd be cool if I tried to do shockwave thing like in—"
"That was a mutual thing and you know it!"
"Oh guys, no," Skylor wheezes into her hands.
"It worked!"
"Poor Mr. Kazami," Skylor manages, through snickers. Lloyd's shoulders slump, his upper lip pouting, and Nya crosses her arms, as if refusing to look ashamed.
"It's not like the other guys aren't banned from anywhere, either—"
"Alright, alright," Skylor waves her hands, taking pity on them. "We'll go somewhere else."
"Good," Nya mutters, as Lloyd exhales in relief. Skylor just snickers again, leading them down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. She bites her lip, shaking her head, before a thought occurs to her.
"Wait, what do you mean, 'it's not like they aren't banned from anywhere'?" she frowns. "You guys are banned from more than one place?"
"No," Nya says firmly, before Lloyd can even speak up. "Forget I said anything."
Skylor will do no such thing, but she decides it's in her best interest not to pursue it. Nya is not the sort of person to trifle with, and she does want that ramen.
She gets her answer soon enough, anyways.
2. Ninjago City Aquarium
While Skylor has the early shift on Tuesdays, she does get the afternoons off, which is pretty nice for the most part, if it didn't mean she'd be bored for the rest of the day. So she hits the grocery store and decides to take the long way home, partially because walking is supposed to be good for you, and partially in hopes that one of the ninja will drop in on her again.
She's not disappointed.
Granted, a minor explosion going off from inside the Ninjago City Aquarium wasn't exactly what she was expecting today, but the figures in bright red and white arguing furiously outside the security perimeter are par for the course.
It's a little odd that they haven't already rushed in yet, Skylor notes, but with the way they're loudly yelling at each other in the middle of the street, she figures she'll find out soon enough.
"No, Kai, it is our civic duty to follow the laws put in place for the safety of civilians—"
"Oh come on, you get brainwashed into a slightly-murderous emperor one time and now you're a stickler for everything?!"
"One time was enough, Kai!"
"Uh, hi guys," Skylor approaches the two, hesitantly. "Is everything alright?"
"Skylor!" Kai whirls on her, his eyes wild. "Thank FSM, you've gotta help us out — they won't let us in!" He shakes his fist at the aquarium doors, before springing for the security gate. "Let us in, let us in—"
"Shaking the gate like an animal is not going to convince them, Kai!" Zane pleads, prying Kai away. He shoots Skylor an apologetic glance as he wrangles Kai into a gentle chokehold. "We would greatly appreciate your help, if possible. There's a low-threat criminal with an unfortunate assortment of weaponry who ran into the aquarium, and we're legally unable to pursue. If you could try to drive him out, perhaps?"
"I — you — you're what?" Skylor has the weirdest sense of déjà vu, before it's lost in confusion. Her head swivels from the frustrated expression on Kai's face to the pleading one on Zane's, then to the grocery bags in her hands. She looks back up at Kai, who's now giving her the puppy eyes. Something from inside the aquarium explodes loudly.
"Sure," she sighs, handing Kai her grocery bags. "Just one guy?"
"Just one guy," Kai exhales in relief. "You're a lifesaver, Skylor, I — hey, are these those snack cakes they made to look like us?"
"Yes, eat them and you die," Skylor hisses. She turns to Zane, holding her hand out half-hesitantly. "Lend a girl some ice powers?"
"Of course," Zane nods, letting her take his hand. There's a brief moment as Skylor melds her power with Zane's, absorbing the icy force and mimicking it to her own — a part of her notes vaguely that it's stronger than the last time she borrowed it, but she shakes it off, pulling her hand back and tugging the hood of her jacket up, mentally hoping no one writes another article about the possible existence of a cryptid orange ninja after this.
"Alright," she says. "Be back in five."
"Thank you," Zane says fervently, as Kai sputters, "Hey, why didn't you borrow my power?"
"Because fire is explosive, and you've gotta be banned from here for a reason!" Skylor calls back, ice already misting over her fingertips as she sprints inside the aquarium.
"You'd be surprised," Kai mutters, after her retreating back.
"So," Skylor says, flexing her right hand and wincing briefly. That last right hook she'd thrown at the guy might have been a little too hard, in hindsight. But he was being a jerk, and threatening to set off a bomb near the little seahorses — and it did do the trick, so now the aquarium can have the host of cop cars off its back. Skylor feels pretty accomplished in her good deed for the day, actually. "Why, again, couldn't you guys have taken care of that yourselves? Not that I minded," she adds, quickly. Using the ice element had been fun. She'd forgotten what she could do with Zane's powers.
Kai gives a nervous laugh that's so fake it almost hurts, especially with the pained expression he makes at the end. Zane just rubs his temple with a hand, looking eternally weary.
"Like I said, we are legally not permitted to enter the aquarium, until…when was it again, Kai?"
"Five years from now," Kai mutters. "Or whenever the director dies."
"Yes, five years from now," Zane repeats, with a dead sort of look in his eyes. "So your assistance was very much appreciated. Thank you."
"It was no problem, but — wait, hold on, how are you banned from the aquarium for five years?" she stutters. "I mean, I can get Lloyd and Nya with the ramen place—"
"Ha! They told you about that? It was great—"
"Kai, please."
"—and I can understand Kai, but you, Zane?"
She feels a little guilty for calling him out so bluntly, but it's Zane. Zane doesn't just get banned from places, she has to know. And he doesn't look too upset at the question. Kai looks mildly betrayed, but not that much. They both know Skylor's point is too valid for him to argue with effectively.
Zane gives another bone-weary sigh. "There is a small chance, that there was a time we were pursuing another villain here, and during that battle, I might have…underestimated the amount of ice I was putting out." Zane shifts, looking pained. "Which in turn accidentally spread to any bodies of liquid that happened to be nearby at the time, which perhaps were filled with rather expensive aquatic life."
"You froze a fish exhibit," Skylor deadpans.
"They were merely in extreme hibernation," Zane grits out. "They would have been fine, had Kai not tried to fix the ice."
"Hey, it made sense! I could melt it quickest!"
"Except you didn't just melt it, did you? No, you had an entire fish fry—"
"The poor fish," Skylor says, staring at them blankly. "What were they?"
"Like, these rainbow fish, from way up north, I think?" Kai says. "I swear I didn't make it that hot."
"The water was boiling, Kai!"
"You fish murderer," Skylor says, the corners of her mouth trembling with the laugh she's holding back. Kai glares at Zane, then her, then Zane again.
"I didn't freeze them solid."
"Whatever the cause of their death, they died, and we're banned now," Zane says, hastily. "End of story. Would you like to take this back to the Bounty, Skylor? I know the others have been wanting to see you, and we can at least offer you tea in thanks." He eyes the grocery bags Kai's still holding. "Unless, of course, you wish to return home…"
"Nah, tea sounds good," she smiles. "Besides, I bought the snack cakes for you guys to try anyways. They've got little squashed ninja faces in icing on 'em."
"You're the best," Kai says, looking somewhat relieved, and oh, he definitely ate one while Skylor was in there. She's going to have to pay him back for that one…
"Tell me something I don't know," she says airily, figuring she'll take her revenge later. "You can tell me more about the fish massacre on our way back. By the way, Pixal wouldn't happen to have heard this story, would she?"
Zane gives her a look, and she almost feels bad about it. "I'm going to regret inviting you, aren't I."
"Maybe," she grins. "Jury's still out."
3. An Entire Drugstore Chain
Wednesdays are always busy at the noodle shop, for reasons Skylor has yet to figure out. Fridays she understands, but the middle of the week? Nothing kills your drive like knowing you're going to do this all over again in a day.
It's good money for the shop though, she reminds herself as she locks up that evening. Any money is good money for the shop, because her stupid dad made sure she'd have a real hole to dig herself out of there, but Wednesday money is always especially good. Even if she ends up leaving the shop late and can't get the noodle smell from her hair for the next three days.
Normally, she'd trudge home and crash into bed after these kind of shifts. But tonight is different, because she stayed long enough at the Bounty yesterday to get invited to game night, and once you've promised the ninja you're going to bring snacks for Monopoly, you can't just say no. Not unless you want Lloyd to shoot betrayed glares at you the rest of the month.
Besides, she's promised Kai she'll sneak out to the movies with him afterwards, and she can't just go breaking that promise. Plus, she's not heartless enough to deny Cole cake when he's got the most spectacular black eye she's seen all year bruising up around the left side of his face.
"Lucky hit," Cole grumbles, after she's been caught staring too long. She hasn't wanted to ask him about it, since it seems a sensitive subject and he's already taking the time to help her pick up (carry) all the snacks. But it's impossible to miss, even in the dim streetlights they're walking under, and Skylor cares about her friends, thank you very much. "We busted some drug dealers today, and I got too relaxed."
"They normally really aren't any match for you, to be fair," Skylor offers.
"They weren't this time either, that's the sad thing," Cole says, scrubbing a hand through his thick hair as they wait at the stoplight. "This was all on me. I kinda deserved it."
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Skylor tries to console him, even though the ugly red at the edge of his eye says otherwise.
Cole gives her a bleak look. "Jay made a joke, and I laughed at it. And then I got hit across the face with a baseball bat, mid-laugh."
"Ouch," Skylor hisses through her teeth. "Never mind, that's bad. Was it a good joke, at least?"
"No, that's the thing," Cole groans, as the light finally turns red, allowing them to cross the street. "It was terrible. And I still laughed hard enough not to notice a bat coming for my face."
Skylor grimaces. "You were just being a good friend, I guess," she says, and Cole snorts. "Like you are to me, right now," she continues, glancing ruefully at the shopping list she's been sent. "I was going to say I had it handled, then I actually looked at everything you guys asked for."
Cole laughs sheepishly. "Yeah, that's…that's us, I guess. Sorry about that. We're paying for it all, don't worry."
"What?" Skylor blinks. Oh no, no way. The ninja have done enough for her, the least she can do is cover a couple bags of popcorn and like ten things of M&M's. "No, I got it. I owe you guys, anyways."
Cole bristles. "No way. We owe you, if anything. The amount of times you've covered our tab at the noodle shop?"
"How about the amount of times you've saved my noodle shop?" Skylor shoots back. "That outweighs a few measly tabs."
"The only reason we had to save it was because we were there in the first place," Cole points out. "We're danger magnets."
"I'm sorry, I'm the daughter of Chen, remember?" Skylor huffs. "I can attract enemies all by myself."
"Not as many as we do," Cole says. "Also! You helped us beat Chen, and get Zane back. We're eternally indebted to you."
Skylor narrows her eyes. "Only after I stabbed you all in the back. So I eternally owe you."
"Bold of you to assume we haven't all stabbed each other in the back at some point," Cole scoffs. "Trust me, you're nowhere as bad as Lloyd — he like, single-handedly ruined our whole month by letting a bunch of snakes out."
Skylor pauses at that, torn between refuting his argument and asking how in the world Lloyd, of all people, could possibly manage to wreak enough havoc to—
Actually, she doesn't have any trouble believing that at all. But to be sure— "Lloyd let the Serpentine out? All by himself?"
Cole looses a bit of his fire, and scuffs his shoe awkwardly across the sidewalk. "I mean, we did give him a pretty hard time when he was like, eight years old and homeless and starving, so uh, it might've been a little...provoked."
"FSM's sake," Skylor mutters, staring at the sky and trying not to be surprised, because she really shouldn't by now. "I can't believe you guys are all still alive."
"Neither can we, if it helps," Cole shrugs, grinning. "But you know, technically—"
"If you make another ghost joke, we're skipping the cake section," Skylor says, firmly.
Cole sulks. "Jay would've made a ghost joke," he mutters.
"Jay also got you hit in the face by a bat, so his judgement is questionable as it is," Skylor shakes her head. "Oh! There's a drugstore right here, wanna hit that instead?"
"Sure," Cole says. "As long as it's not…oh."
Skylor makes it another three steps before she realizes that Cole's fallen behind. Confused, she turns to stare at him where he's frozen on the sidewalk, looking up at the bright red drugstore sign and biting his lip.
"Everything okay back there?" Skylor says, wondering if he didn't get hit in the head harder than he's let on. Cole nods, but he also takes several steps back out of the streetlight, hiding himself from view of the store.
"Here's an idea," he says, suddenly. "How about we go anywhere else."
Skylor stares at him, a sinking feeling in her chest coupled with the slowly-growing-familiar sense of déjà-vu. "Cole." He doesn't meet her eyes, and Skylor sighs. "Please tell me you haven't been banned from somewhere, too."
"It's not just me, Lloyd and Jay also got banned," Cole snaps, before realizing his mistake and ducking his head.
"You're kidding me," Skylor says flatly, looking back at the drugstore, then to Cole. "This is like, the shadiest drugstore on this side on Ninjago. How?"
Cole mumbles something under his breath, and Skylor strains to make it out. "Sorry, what was that?"
"I kind of, um, threw Lloyd through their wall," Cole mutters again, looking as if he'd like very much to disappear entirely into the street side. Which is funny, because—
His sentence finally registers, and Skylor blinks rapidly. "Wait, you what?"
Cole's eyes widen, and waves his arms quickly. "Not like — not like Garmadon-throwing him through a wall! He was fine after."
Skylor has a brief, bizarre kind of moment to digest the fact that there is a distinction for throwing the youngest of their team through a wall, before Cole continues.
"I was aiming for the window — that one right there, see? The robbers were already on the move, so Lloyd was like 'launch me, Cole' and I said 'great idea', but we were also maybe high on adrenaline at the time and I forgot how much of my lava punch I had going, so I overshot and ended up smashing him through their wall, a little bit."
"You smashed him through their wall. Just a little bit."
"Hey, it worked. He took out all five guys in one go and only had a tiny concussion after—"
"How do you even have a tiny concussion—"
"I still don't get why they were so mad, I mean we stopped the robbery! Sure, half their storefront wall sort of collapsed afterwards, but like, we got their money back."
"So that's why they were closed six months for renovations," Skylor groans into her hands.
Cole crosses his arms, glaring stubbornly at the store's sign. "It wasn't six months," he protests. "It was only like, four. I don't see how that gives them the right to ban us for life."
"For life—" Skylor can't decide if she wants to laugh at him, or cry because her list of places she can hang out with the ninja is shrinking faster than she'd thought possible. She finally blows her breath out, rubs a hand across her face, and glances back down at the shopping list.
"You aren't banned from the one on eighth street, are you?"
Cole bites his lips. "We're uh, banned from all of them. It's a chain store, so…"
"Of course," Skylor sighs. "Walmart it is, then."
And if anyone pesters them about being late, she's going to ask how many times, exactly, somebody's smashed Lloyd through a wall. Because really. This is getting ridiculous.
4. Bed Bath & Beyond
Thursday is normally her day off, but whatever she had for dinner last night gave her freaky dreams, so Skylor ends up puttering around the shop early that morning just to take her mind off it. It's a bit overcast outside, and the forecast predicts rain, so Skylor's already making plans to curl up in her bed and watch movies all day, and maybe get a bit of laundry done.
She should know better.
It's a commonly known fact that the ninja, Kai especially, would do pretty much anything for their pseudo-little brother. Skylor's actually heard Kai, on multiple occasion, threaten to die for Lloyd, then immediately try and make it reality. No one ever really appreciates that, Lloyd especially, but Skylor can give him credit for trying.
However, it's a commonly overlooked fact that Lloyd would do anything for his pseudo-older siblings. It's an even more commonly overlooked fact that Lloyd is the spawn of satan, and was raised at a boarding school for future villains and terrible children. Combined, these two facts mean that while you should definitely fear Lloyd trying to die for you, you should probably fear him trying to look out for you more, because it's likely going to end with somebody dead. Or at least the total disruption of your plans for the day, as Skylor opens the shop windows to come face with an absolutely terrifying expression on Lloyd's face, followed up by a deadly calm "Kai came home sad last night."
Skylor scrubs at her eyes, and thinks, it's too early for this.
A while back, when she was still stuck with her jerk of a father, Skylor might have found Lloyd's part-Oni expression of doom intimidating. Now, however, she just rolls her eyes, and sticks one of the little '50% Off!' stickers she's been putting on rice cakes across his forehead.
"The dog died in the last movie we saw last night," she explains, as Lloyd sputters at her.
He pauses, nose wrinkling. "Oh," he says. "Boo."
"Yeah," she says, stepping back and allowing him to neatly front-flip through her window. Darned show-off kid, she thinks despairingly, watching him land perfectly on her freshly-waxed floors.
"Well, you're good then, I guess," he says, expression lightening. "That makes sense. How many movies did you make it into this time, by the way?"
"Only four this time," Skylor sighs, turning to plaster the rest of her stickers on the nearly-expired rice cake packages. "We caught the beginning of that new superhero movie, then the opening fight of some spy movie, and the middle of that one horror movie with the dolls." Lloyd shudders. "Yeah, Kai wasn't a fan either. Anyways, we made it into this new romance one, but we ran into a theater employee on the way in and Kai had a guilt attack, so we stayed until the end of that one."
Lloyd tsks. "Oh, Kai. And he's so sold on his bad boy image."
"One day he'll embrace the fact that he's just a big softie," Skylor nods. "One of these days."
"Yeah, when hell freezes over," Lloyd snorts. He glances around at the empty shop, then back at her. "Hey, today's your day off, right?"
Skylor gets a sinking kind of feeling in her stomach at that, alarm bells going off in the back of her head. "It might be," she says, warily.
"Good," Lloyd grins. "You should come to Bed Bath and Beyond with us, then."
Well, she wasn't expecting that. "Why…would you be going there?" she asks, blankly. Do they have a secret ninja weapon bargain bin she's been missing out on? Is Bed Bath & Beyond secretly hosting an illegal crime ring she's been unaware of? Does she need to return the shower curtain rings she bought there last week on basis of being a good citizen?
"Zane froze the blender solid before practice this morning," Lloyd explains, his mouth twisting a bit. "We were making smoothies and someone accidentally brought up the Never Realm."
"Ouch," Skylor winces sympathetically. She's still not heard the entire story of what went down during the ninja's jaunt out of realm, besides a whole lot of panicked texts from Pixal and half-explanations from Kai, but she knows it wasn't fun, especially for poor Zane.
"Yeah," Lloyd sighs. "So now our blender is dead and we can't make smoothies anymore, so we're buying a new one before Nya can start strangling people. Wanna come?"
Skylor eyes him shrewdly. At face, it's an innocent enough request. She's certainly been invited to worse places than a household furnishings store, and picking up a blender is quite possibly the simplest thing the ninja have ever asked her to do. Which probably just means it's going to go horribly and the store's going to blow up ten minutes in, but hey, Skylor's day was looking pretty boring anyway.
"Sure, why not," she shrugs. "Lemme stick the last of these on, and I'm in. Just — hey, no, I'm selling those!"
Lloyd freezes in place, the rice cake package dangling from his fingers. He gives her the most pathetically sad-eyed look she's ever seen, and not for the first time, Skylor finds herself wondering how this is the same kid who runs a highly-skilled ninja team of unimaginable power.
"Just the one," she finally relents, because Skylor is a spineless weakling when it comes to puppy eyes, apparently. Lloyd beams, snatching the cakes up happily. "And just because you look like a starving vagrant again."
"I do not," Lloyd protests, through a muffled mouthful of rice cake. "I'm just super in shape. I'm jacked as heck."
Skylor rolls her eyes. "Sure you are, you — hey, I said just one!"
So Skylor ends up at Bed Bath & Beyond on her day off, five minutes after the store's opened for the day, and already wishing she'd slept in later.
Nya brings her coffee, though, and their bright-eyed enthusiasm at reclaiming their means of smoothie-making is infectious, so Skylor finds herself in high spirits as they walk through the store doors, almost to the point where she lets Lloyd go for stealing all her rice cakes.
However, she's already let him get away with too much as it is, so Skylor decides to take her revenge by ruffling Lloyd's hair, before informing the sales lady that it's her "darling little brother's thirteenth birthday, and he's finally outgrown his kiddie bed, could you point us to the big kid ones, please?"
Lloyd's attempts at strangling her are thwarted by Nya as the lady smiles airily, before pointing them to the back, and Zane has to drag Kai along with them before he suffocates on the laughter he's choking back.
"Family shopping trips are always so much fun," Jay remarks, as they browse the bedding section, having been successfully distracted by the animal-shaped pillows. They've already had to flee the lamp section, after Lloyd and Jay started having a little too much fun, despite Kai's despair over being robbed yet again of a new lava lamp.
"One day," he mourns. "One day, I will own another."
Skylor pats his back consolingly. "I'm sure that's what everyone else whose lava lamps got smashed by a giant stone colossi say."
"I still don't see why we can't invest in a cappuccino maker," Nya pouts, as they pass the coffee appliances section. "Look, there's one on sale, too!"
"Because you can and will abuse the use of it, and then someone will end up going to the hospital for extreme heart rate elevation," Zane glares pointedly at her. Skylor smothers a laugh as Nya scowls.
"I'm not that bad," she grumbles under her breath, only for the others to all chime "ice cube incident" in unison. Nya goes a dark shade of red and glares at the floor as if she's capable of lighting it on on fire with her eyes, but she doesn't argue back.
Skylor doesn't even want to know.
"Alright, here are our options," Cole announces, when they've finally fought their way to the blender shelves. "We can get the same one we had, just a little smaller, or we can get this other one that's half-off." He squints at both tags. "Having looked at our bank account recently, I vote the half-off one."
"No way," Jay argues. "Do you see how small that one is? I can't make my triple-espresso energy-drink smoothie with that!"
Lloyd stares at him in concern. "That's…probably a good thing?"
Jay glares at him. "You're one to talk, Mr. night owl."
"I'm with Jay, that one's way too small," Nya says. "It won't do."
"What, and the other one's better?" Kai shoots back. "Look how cheap it is, I could break this thing in my sleep."
"The online reviews for both are perfectly fine," Zane adds, half-heartedly, as if he already knows they're all going to ignore that particular statement.
"What about this one?" Jay says, his eyes lighting up as he gestures to the extra-large, fancy blender. "Think of all the smoothies we could make, Cole. Think of the milkshakes."
Cole pinches the bridge of his nose. "We are not investing in some fancy blender, just for you to complain it's too complicated five seconds in."
Skylor crosses over to the blenders, glancing at both. "I mean, you could always just return it…later…" She trails off, realizing that everyone's suddenly gone deadly silent. She looks up, and starts as she comes face to face with the store manager, who is frozen in place, his mouth half-open as he stares at them with wide eyes. Behind her, Skylor is highly aware of six ninja going similarly still, all utterly quiet.
"You," the manager finally squeaks out. "You are't supposed to — you can't be in here, not again—"
"On second thought, let's get a blender next week," Cole says, quickly.
"Yeah, I can live without smoothies a little longer," Jay agrees, rapidly paling.
Skylor's at a loss. "What's going—"
Before she can finish that sentence, Kai and Nya both have hands on her arm and pull, hauling her along as they break into a dead sprint for the exit.
"Explain later!" Kai yelps, dodging employees as the manager shakes his fist at them, his yelling following them through the doors.
"I filed six restraining orders! Six!" he shrieks as they slip out. "Do you know how long that took?! Two of them don't even exist in the legal system!"
Skylor doesn't miss the incredibly unsubtle fist bump Lloyd and Zane share, nor the near-tears sigh of despair from Cole.
She really doesn't want to know.
Except that maybe she does, so there's nothing stopping her from asking as they walk home, having bought smoothies from the corner store instead (that they are not banned from, which Skylor is starting to think might be miraculous).
"I don't know why I'm surprised at this point, but how did you get banned this time?" she asks them, after a particularly long sip of smoothie. "Did you demolish half the store there, too?"
The ninja are silent for a moment, all refusing to meet her eyes. Then—
"It was Jay's fault," Cole declares.
Jay whirls on him, his expression wounded. "I trusted you," he whines. "And you — you bed bath and betrayed me."
"Because you bed bath and blew up the bedding aisle!"
"It was the kitchen electrics aisle, give me some credit."
"Oh, because that's so much better."
"It is, do you know how hard I'd have to be trying to blow up the bedding aisle? It's all weighted blankets and like, silk and stuff, no conduction at all—"
Skylor returns to her previous stance on not wanting to know, sips her smoothie in silence as they break into loud arguing in the middle of the street, and hopes once again that no one's getting any pictures of this.
5. Jamanakai Village Candy Shop
Friday's her busy day, so Skylor's spared any chaos other than a jammed mixing machine for the day. It doesn't come to a head until Saturday, when she cautiously accepts the ninjas' invitation to scout out potential terrorist activity in Jamanakai.
The terrorists turn out to be punk kids who got a little too obsessed with the idea of the Golden Master, which is an unfortunate choice of role model for them, when they have to face up to the ninja. Zane just looks mildly annoyed though, and Lloyd stares into the sun for a full minute before rolling his eyes, so the kids make it out alive.
"We weren't going to kill them, geez," Jay says. "Maybe just…lecture them, a bit."
"Oh yeah, lecture them," Kai scowls, cracking his knuckles. "The Golden Master, are they kidding?"
"To be fair, they don't have the same experiences we do," Cole points out, but he doesn't look too opposed to the knuckle-cracking, either.
"No harm was done," Zane says, a bit wearily. "We should simply let it go."
"I dunno, I say we should've hung them from a roof for a bit," Lloyd says, evenly.
The other ninja all cringe in unison, except for Nya, who smothers a coughing sort of laugh. Skylor stares at them, bewildered. "Why would you hang them from a roof?"
"Not sure," Lloyd says, his lips twitching. "Probably because crime doesn't pay, muchacho, or something like that—"
"Alright, alright, we get it," Kai says hastily, clapping a hand over Lloyd's mouth.
"The guys would know," Nya smirks, ignoring the looks of utter betrayal she's getting. "That's what they did to Lloyd, wasn't it?"
"Nya, why," Jay moans into his hands.
"You — hung Lloyd from a roof?" Skylor repeats, thrown for a loop. "Why on earth would you do that? What if he like, fell and died?"
"He was fine," Cole assures her, hastily.
Lloyd is quick to protest, glaring at them. "No I wasn't, it was literally scarring! Look, I got this scar from scraping my arm when I fell — oh, wait, oops, that one's from the Never Realm, it's this one here." Lloyd winces as he finishes, suddenly looking contrite as he shoots Zane an apologetic look. "The Never Realm one was from Boreal though, don't worry."
Zane looks down, his face shadowed. "It was still my—"
"Nuh-uh," Jay cuts over him, wagging his finger. "Remember the rule?"
Zane hesitates, looking as if he'd very much like to remember no such thing, but he finally slumps, relenting. "Scars dealt to each other while under the influence of malicious possession by person and/or ancient malevolent artifacts do not count, regardless of extenuating circumstances or deep inner psychological issues that may be brought to light during said influence," he quotes dully, on a defeated sort of sigh.
Skylor doesn't know whether to be impressed at that, or depressed that it needed existence in the first place.
"Exactly," Jay nods. "Which means that any scars from you, Zane, or Lloyd — oh, and Kai, I guess — and Cole, technically, with the Hypnobrai that one time— wow, that's, hm, that's a lot of us."
"If you count the dark matter, we've all been possessed," Zane says, drily.
"Not me!" Kai says, mock-cheerfully.
Jay shakes his head. "Nobody got scars while we were on dark matter! I checked."
"Why are you saying it like we were on drugs or something?"
"Speak for yourself," Lloyd scowls. "I've still got that stupid ankle one." He glares at the offending ankle, as if it's personally disappointed him.
"That was the Overlord, not us," Nya reminds him. "And uh, your dad, technically."
Lloyd's scowl just deepens, his eyebrows tilting downwards hotly. "If I had a dollar for every scar that's from my dad…"
"I hear you," Skylor sighs. "Dad scars are the worst. They really know where to hit."
"Right? It's always personal with them," Lloyd shakes his head. "Dads are the worst."
A beat passes before they both realize the others have fallen quiet. Her and Lloyd blink, and Skylor fights back the urge to cringe at the looks they're now receiving.
"Well," Jay says, bleakly. "This is a, um, miserable turn."
"Hey, hey, no sad faces," Lloyd scolds, reaching for Kai's face, which is indeed sporting a pathetically teary-eyed kind of look. "Get that look off your face, off, off—"
"I'm not — stoppit — I'm just— hey, stop it— that's my face, you brat—"
"Guys, c'mon, cut it out, you're making a scene," Cole scolds, pulling them both apart. "How about we stop and get ice cream before we go, okay? To like, cheer us up. Because that was completely depressing, no offense, guys."
"None taken," Skylor says, as Lloyd nods in agreement. Cole looks relieved, even if Kai's still looking a little weepy, and he directs them down another street, heading toward a brightly labeled ice cream shop. Skylor can see tiny rows of candy inside, and there are a bunch of kids gathered around the little stand the owner's set up at the door. It's a cute place, all in all — the candy looks good, and it seems pretty cheap.
So it makes zero sense that Lloyd, of all people, would suddenly go painfully tense in the middle of the street, and refuse to take another step forward.
"I can't go in there," he whispers.
Skylor's having that sense of déjà vu again. The rest of the ninja trade confused glances.
"Uh, Lloyd?" Kai says, hesitantly. "They sell candy in there, you know."
"I know," Lloyd grinds out, his teeth clenched painfully together. "I've been in there before."
"You have?" Cole frowns. "You — oh." Realization dawns in his eyes, and he's suddenly biting his lip, holding back laughter. "Oh, I forgot."
"Forgot wha—" Jay looks between the two of them, then back at the shop, before something sparks in his eyes as well, and he doubles over in laughter.
"Shut up," Lloyd hisses.
"Why are we laughing at Lloyd," Skylor finally sighs, as Kai and Zane break into barely-stifled giggles as well, and Nya rolls her eyes.
"So, um," Lloyd swallows, shifting anxiously from side to side. "You know how I said they hung me from a roof? There might've, uh, been a reason for that."
"Of course there was," Skylor says.
"I kind of threatened them, a little bit, and uh, tried to steal half their shop, one time."
"Of course you did."
"Lloyd," Nya sighs. "That was forever ago."
"I stole from them," Lloyd bites out. "If I show my face in there again, they'll kill me."
"I highly doubt they will resort to murder, Lloyd," Zane says, flatly. "Besides, you did not actually succeed in stealing anything, because we caught you and hung you from a roof. Remember?"
"Yeah, and then I came back with the Serpentine, and made it worse!" Lloyd exclaims. "Just go in without me, I'll sit out here and cry."
"We're not just gonna leave you outside," Kai rolls his eyes. "C'mon, let's mend some old wounds. Just go inside and apologize."
"I would literally rather die."
"Lloyd, seriously."
"I've done it before, don't test me."
"Lloyd."
"You can't make me, I'll fight you—"
"Alright, alright, we'll find a different shop!"
"Okay, I have to know," Skylor finally asks, as they pass the outskirts of the village, heading back to the Bounty. "How many places are you all banned from, in total? Because this is ridiculous. I can't take you anywhere."
"I mean, you can't take us anywhere even without the bans, anyways," Cole says wearily. "To be fair."
"We're not that bad," Lloyd protests, only to wilt immediately under Skylor's stare. "There are just…a few places…"
"Zane, how many is it now," Nya asks, rubbing her temples.
Zane is quiet for a moment, slowly ticking off his fingers as he stares upwards. "Did we ever decide if that one museum counted?"
"The vote was yes," Jay mutters.
"And the Explorer's Club, did we decide that one?"
"I'd say that's a pretty hard ban," Lloyd winces.
Nya huffs, crossing her arms. "I still say it doesn't count, because like, everyone's banned from there, with their stupid stuck-up membership requirements."
Zane takes this into account, his eyebrows furrowing. "That leaves us with…seventeen places we cannot return to, I believe? Unless I missed one."
Skylor's left wordless, gaping at them. She knew there was a lot, but seventeen—?!
"I'm almost a hundred percent sure we're also banned from the Never Realm," Kai points out. Zane gives him the iciest look Skylor's ever seen. Kai simply shrugs. "What? Just stating the facts."
Lloyd frowns. "I don't think we are? I mean, Akita wouldn't—"
"Oh, Akita wouldn't," Jay cuts over him, a gleam in his eyes. "Would she, casanova?"
Lloyd goes scarlet, sputtering. "I told you, she kissed me! On the cheek! I just stood there, you can't—" He buries his face in his hands, and despite her amusement (and rampant curiosity, because this is Lloyd and kissing), Skylor feels bad for him. "I can't believe I ever told any of you about that," he whines, sounding tragically upset with himself.
"You were the one having a mental breakdown over it," Nya reminds him, almost gently. "You need to work on setting boundaries, bud."
"It's not like I didn't tell her I had horrible issues with romance!" Lloyd throws his hands up, frustrated. "Because I did, in painfully honest detail—"
"And yet you refuse to open up to me about it," Kai says plaintively.
"Turn into a dog for a bit, you might get lucky," Lloyd grumbles.
Skylor doesn't want to know. She really, really doesn't want to know. "Well," she finally says. "I do know one place you aren't banned from."
They all look up at her, and Skylor shakes her head. "You fly me back to the shop in time for dinner, and noodles are on the house tonight."
Six faces brighten considerably. "Seriously?" Cole says. "Skylor, you're an angel."
"Seriously, the best person ever—"
"Our favorite cryptid orange ninja there ever was—"
"Yeah, yeah, keep flattering me," Skylor sighs, trying not to smile, and failing woefully.
She doesn't know why she still hangs out with these people, getting banned from everywhere in the city. What a bunch of nerds.