Chapter 5: Monster

.:Save Me:.

I hope you all enjoy! For an update, take a look at the ending author's note! Enjoy!

At the Academy

Sakura's POV

It's been about three hours since everyone has gotten their team placements. At this point, everyone has left the classroom and is already with their jounin-sensei. However, for some reason, ours still hasn't arrived yet. Personally, I can appreciate the quiet time to clear my mind of all the things that are constantly plaguing it, but I don't think nii-kun and Sasuke feel the same way.

Sasuke looks plain annoyed- borderline frustrated- with our late jounin-sensei. He's even resorted to tapping his foot. For someone to do the thing they hate, he must be boiling over. On the other hand, nii-kun has decided to express his frustration in a more… hands on way.

"Sit down already, dope." Nii-kun shushed him as he continued to try and balance the bucket filled with the dusty chalkboard erasers Iruka-sensei keeps by his desk.

"If he's going to be this late and expect us to just accept it, then he deserves to have a little prank pulled on him." Nii-kun carefully moved his hands from the bucket once it was perfectly placed. Letting out a sneaky laugh, he hopped down from the desk and took his seat to my right again.

"Please, as if something like that would be enough to full a seasoned shinobi that's reached jounin level." Despite that, nii-kun kept his cheshire grin.

"Then think of it as a test! If he falls for it, then he's not worthy to be our sensei." Sasuke opened his mouth to object, but the sound of the door creaking open cut him off. We all turned seeing a tall man with a mask covering half of his face except for one eye enter. What really caught my eye was his gravity defying silver hair that was spiked upwards.

That's a strange hair color for someone that looks so young.

I hummed softly as the bucket trap nii-kun planted triggered. Just as nii-kun planned, the bucket fell straight towards the man's head. Nii-kun's excitement was practically exploding from his body as his eyes shined in anticipation. On the other hand, Sasuke maintained a bored expression. However, that all changed when the bucket landed on top of his head sending chalk dust everywhere.

Looks like he fell into the trap. Sasuke's eyes widened in disbelief while nii-kun looked as if he was feeling a combination of shock and pride. This is a wonderful introduction to our new sensei. I pushed down the need to laugh.

"Well." Our new sensei slowly raised a hand, removing the bucket from his head revealing his dust covered face. "My first impression of you." His only visible eye crinkled as if he were smiling. "I hate you."

Well, at least we know where we stand.

Our new sensei brought us to the roof of the academy. Well, he technically walked here and we assumed he wanted us to follow him. Now, Sasuke, Nii-kun, and I are sitting on a set of boxes in front of our sensei. From his relaxed frame leaning on the railing lining the edge of the roof, his only visible eye was closed and his arms were crossed as if he were sleeping. For a powerful ninja, he seems rather lazy.

Then again, father spent most of his time with mother doing household chores. Maybe our sensei is the type that's strong but doesn't like to showcase it until it's necessary. Or maybe he's-

"When are we going to get to the cool training?!" Nii-kun shouted, crossing his arms. From my left, I saw Sasuke shoot him a glare, but from the look on nii-kun's face, I can tell he's too consumed by boredom to care.

"Cool training?" Our sensei slowly opened his eye, his expression carefully hidden, but I can see the underlying annoyance.

As long as he doesn't mistreat nii-kun, I don't care how he feels.

"Yeah! I want to learn awesome jutsu!" Nii-kun punched the air, a wide grin on his face. Our sensei blinked at him slowly before slumping a little, letting out a deep sigh.

"How about we start with introducing ourselves?"

"But I want to-"

"I'm glad you agree."

"But-"

"How about I go first." Nii-kun fumed next to me as our sensei's eye crinkled as if he's smiling.

Maybe he wasn't kidding when he said he doesn't like us. Inwardly, I sighed. This is going to be a rocky career.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi. I enjoy what I like and my hobbies are things that I like. My dislikes are things that I avoid and I love my favorite pastime. My goal is to continue to do the things I like." He made a pointed look to Sasuke. "Now, you introduce yourself."

I guess he doesn't want us to say much about ourselves. I inwardly laughed, glancing at Sasuke from the corner of my eye. He looked rather annoyed, but he tried to hide it behind his clasped hands.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like many things, I dislike much more and I love much less. My hobbies are my own business and my goal is to surpass a certain person."

Itachi-san… If you didn't know him, it probably wasn't obvious who he was referring to. Then again, all of the problems in his life are directly connected to the fact he isn't Itachi-san.

"Good, now, you-" Kakashi-sensei started to point to me, but nii-kun jumped to his feet, shouting an exuberant "yosh".

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, Sakura-chan, and mother. I dislike Sasuke-teme when he's being a teme and I love mother's special ramen. My goal is to become hokage one day, believe it!" I couldn't help softening my features at that.

Just like a ball of sunshine. Kakashi-sensei merely blinked at him before flicking his gaze to me.

"Now, who are you?"

"Haruno Sakura." He kept his gaze on me expectantly, but I didn't know what else he wanted me to say.

I've never given much thought to things I like and don't like besides obvious things such as the ignorant people who say terrible things. I guess I could say I love my family, but is that anything special? Plus, I don't necessarily have goals. Their more like missions and do I even have hobbies?

"Is that all you want to share with your new team?" I nodded, keeping a steady gaze with him. He blinked back at me, before turning his gaze upwards. "Well, I believe we will start your first training session tomorrow in training ground 7. Eat a light breakfast if at all." He gave us one last smile before disappearing in a flurry of leaves.

This is going to be interesting.

After our meeting, Itachi-san surprisingly invited nii-kun and I to his training session with Sasuke. He said it's to get us used to fighting with each other has a team instead of against each other. Well, mostly nii-kun and Sasuke. They've always fought as rivals, but never together as a team.

Call it practice for tomorrow.

When we all arrived at the Uchiha clan training grounds, there were two people already there- Izumi and Itachi-san's older cousin, Shisui- sat on one of the low hanging branches of a large oak tree on the edge of the clearing. I've never personally met Shisui-san, but I do know he's Itachi-san's best friend if the fact they spend a lot of afternoons together or that they train together often isn't a clue.

Maybe, by inviting me with all of his important people around means he isn't afraid of me anymore?

"Yosh! I'm going to beat Sasuke-teme!" Nii-kun shouted, thrusting a fist in the air from his place next to me as we sat underneath the oak tree. From my otherside, Sasuke scoffed leaning back into the trunk of the tree. I couldn't help but soften.

Maybe, things are going to get better so long as I have Sasuke and Nii-kun with me.

"Actually, Naruto-kun, you will fight with Sasuke against Shisui. I'll spectate." Nii-kun and Sasuke started to groan about it but eventually accepted it. Nii-kun and Sasuke started to move to one side of the training ground when Nii-kun paused. Turning back to Itachi-san.

"Why isn't Sakura-chan fighting with us?" The confusion on his face slowly started to morph until his eyes narrowed into suspicious slits. "Do you think she's too weak to fight? If you do then I'll fight you right now for-"

"That's not the case, Naruto-kun." Itachi-san quickly answered, his face ever calm. "I have something else in mind for Sakura's training." For a split second, his eyes flashed to me before going back to Nii-kun. "On the other hand, you and Sasuke are used to fighting each other rather than with each other. This match will help you understand each other's strengths and weaknesses with each other." Nii-kun still looked suspicious, but he eventually nodded his head and continued on until he stood next to Sasuke. Itachi-san moved until he stood a few feet away from the tree I sat beneath.

"Ah- so I get to face off against the infamous dynamic duo! This should be interesting." Looking up, I could make out the large grin on Shisui's face before he disappeared. Feeling his chakra signature materializing on the field, I drifted my attention to the spot he appeared in.

"Flashy as always." Izumi giggled from above me.

So she spends time with Itachi and his important people often? Given that they always are around each other, it makes sense. Itachi-san likes having Izumi around so it shouldn't be a surprise that she also spends time with his important people. But since I've never met Shisui-san before, does that mean he doesn't want me around?

"Watch where you're going, dope!"

"Shut up, teme!" Blinking, the image of Naruto laying sprawled on top of Sasuke's back as if they were thrown to the ground came into view. Immediately, an itching sensation started in my right eye. On cue, two tendrils materialized next to me. Blinking again, a lump formed in my throat as I quickly dispelled them.

Did anyone see?!

Trying my best to stay calm, I glanced at Itachi-san. His eyes were focused intently on the spar in front of us. Tilting my head slightly, I caught a glimpse of Izumi laying on her back on the branch. She looked to be watching the sky than anything else.

Good- that means no one noticed, but why did I lose control like that?

Your important people were in danger, but they didn't need you to save them.

My heart skipped a beat. That voice- why can I hear it? Nii-kun and Sasuke are standing near by- I shouldn't be able to hear it!

Or you're becoming who you really are supposed to be- a demon!

"No." Immediately, I slapped a hand over my mouth.

"Is something wrong, Sakura?" Slowly, I shifted my gaze to Itachi-san.

"No." His eyes didn't leave me for a long time. Eventually, he turned back to the spar.

"That's enough." He called. Focusing on the scene before me, I couldn't help but feel bad for my boys. Nii-kun's shirt was torn and stretched out as if someone had been throwing him by it. Sasuke's shirt wasn't as badly beaten, but he had more scrapes and bruises then Nii-kun. Both of them were covered in dirt and looked exhausted. "I hope you two learned what you need to work on when it comes to working as a team rather than rivals." Neither could answer as they huffed, sprawled out on the ground. "Shisui, help them over here."

"Whatever you say, baby cousin!" With a bright smile, Shisui-san easily picked up both boys under each of his arms and carried them towards me. Propping them against the tree, he leaned back on his heels and examined them. "They're just tired. After a good night's rest, they should be fine." A hand resting on the top of my head made me snap my attention to the older boy.

Being this close to him, I can easily tell he's Itachi-san and Sasuke's relative, but he looked way too similar to them to just be a cousin. The main difference I can see between the three of them is that his eyes are more brown than black and the smile on his face felt warm.

It's not as warm as Nii-kun's, but I feel safe.

"Don't worry too much about these knuckleheads. They are strong, afterall."

Strong enough to not need you anymore. I swallowed hard, nodding at him.

Shut up.

Why? So you can continue to fool yourself? When will you learn- you are a monster!

"Sakura." I tensed, my breath hitching in my throat. Unfortunately, Shisui-san noticed. His eyes narrowed in concern, but I quickly stood, turning away from him and to Itachi-san. From the way it felt as if I was being examined, I knew he noticed too.

Of course he would- everyone pays attention when a monster walks into the room.

Taking a deep breath, I tried hard to focus on Itachi-san.

"Yes?" For a few seconds, he continued to watch me before motioning to the field.

"You will be sparing with Izumi. I want to see what you're capable of on your own."

Destruction!

Taking a deep breath, I nodded my head and walked to the spot Nii-kun and Sasuke stood. A few moments later, Izumi appeared before me with a soft smile.

"I'll go easy on you, so don't worry, ok?"

Why not show her how insignificant she really is?

Swallowing hard, I barely processed Itachi-san shouting for us to begin. Izumi's body tensed before she lunged at me. I could sense she was going to try and hit the pressure point on the back of my neck, so I tilted my head slightly to the right while moving at the speed a typical genin would out of the way. As I thought, she tried to hit my neck, but because my head was tilted, she merely grazed my shoulder. Ducking, the elbow she sent to my chest flew over my head. Making an 'X' with my arms in front of me, I blocked her knee. Her hands grabbing fists full of the back of my shirt was the first warning I got about what she was about to do next.

I really don't want to get too dirty, but I don't think a genin would be skilled enough to counter a throw.

Or, you could stop pretending and show her who you really are.

Grinding my teeth, my feet left the ground as Izumi threw me. Tucking my body, I landed on the flat side of my shoulder. Using the momentum of the throw, I rolled my body until I was crouched on my feet. Looking up, Izumi was coming at me again.

She thinks she can beat you.

My eye twitched as I stood.

She thinks you're beneath her.

A soft growl left my lips as I blocked her punch.

She knows you're meaningless to Itachi-san.

I put a little too much strength behind stopping her kick.

She knows you're a monster.

I bent back, avoiding her right hook.

But most of all, she knows your greatest fear.

"Shut up."

She knows that one day, no one will need you.

"I said shut up."

"Sakura?"

She knows your true nature will come out.

"Shut up."

"What's going on?"

And everyone will see you for the monster you really are!

"Shut up!" A sharp scream of pain filled my ears shocking me back to reality. Blinking, the training field rushed back into focus. A gust of wind brushed against me making my hands feel cold and sticky. Lifting them, blood dripped from between my fingers, landing on the ground in front of me.

W… why is there blood on my hands?

"Sakura?" Slowly, I looked up, locking eyes with dark onyx.

"Itachi-san… what…?" Immediately, my head started swimming, my vision tunneling, and all sound blurring together. I saw Itachi-san's mouth moving, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Movement behind him, brought my attention to the ground behind him.

Izumi was lying on her back, a bloody hole in the middle of her shirt oozing out blood. Shisui-san knelt next to her, trying to put pressure on the wound with one hand while trying to rip the fabric of his shirt with his other hand. As he got a strip, he quickly started to wrap it around her torso, but as his hand moved from the wound, my heart sunk at the sight of four distinct claw marks on the edges of the wound,

Oh no.

Monster.

No.

Only a monster could do something like that.

No, no, no.

What is your dear Itachi-san going to think now?

Raising my eyes, Itachi-san filled my vision. His lips were moving still, but I couldn't hear what he said. His body was tense, as if he was ready to pounce on me. The look in his eyes showed a mixture of emotions: anger, confusion, and… hatred? Regret?

Fear.

I felt my eyes widen, a burning sensation building in the back of my eyes. My eyes travelled around the clearing before landing on Nii-kun and Sasuke. They stood a few feet away, their eyes wide in shock while their mouths hung open in horror. Looking back to Shisui, he gathered, Izumi in his arms and stood. He slowly turned his head to me and his eyes shined with terror.

Now they all know you're a monster!

"I'm sorry."

I can't breath!

"I'm so sorry!"

Run- just like a monster!

"Sakura!" turning on my heels, I ran. I had to. I had to run. I have to run.

Run! Run little beast! Run far, far away!

That demonic voices cackle rung in my ears as I ran.

The wood surrounding me felt warm and comforting. Without any light leaking into the tight space, I imagined I was under my mother's blanket with her and nii-kun lying next to me.

After today, Nii-kun won't ever be around me again.

It felt like a splash of cold water hit my face. I wasn't in bed with mother and nii-kun. I wasn't surrounded with love and comfort. I wasn't safe. Instead, I was in a closet in the second story that father built because I hurt Izumi. No- I attacked Izumi.

And everyone saw it.

And they all will hate you.

Squeezing my knees closer to my chest, I laid my forehead on my knees. The darkness surrounding me felt as if it was crushing me. My lungs hurt everytime I breath. My head spun in circles and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Maybe… maybe it's better that I stay on my own.

Cage the monster so no one else will get hurt?

Nii-kun and mother will have an easier time without me.

How long do you think it'll be before you hurt someone else again?

I'm sure Itachi-san will feel safer if I'm not around.

When do you think you'll have your first kill?

I'm so sorry.

If you were truly sorry, why not destroy the monster that hurts people?

I'm so, so sorry.

Why not kill yourself before you kill someone?

Bright light blinded me forcing me to close my eyes.

Are the police coming to take me away?

"Sakura-chan?" My heart skipped a beat. Opening my eyes, Nii-kun's soft features and bright cerulean eyes stared back at me.

"Nii-kun?" a soft smile graced his lips as he rested back on his heels.

"I looked everywhere for you, you know?" A gentle laugh left his lips before he focused back on me. "What are you doing in a closet? You know there's not that much space in-"

"Are you mad at me?" The smile dropped from his face, a sad frown replacing it.

"Why would you-"

"Are you afraid of me?" He blinked before letting out a soft sigh.

"I'm not mad or afraid of you, Sakura-chan." He leaned forward, placing both of his hands on either side of my head to force me to look at him. "There's nothing you can ever do to make me afraid of you." Staring into his eyes, I can clearly see he wouldn't allow me to believe anything else.

I can feel that demonic voice itching to say something- practically salivating at the thought of torturing me further with it's hateful words, but it didn't come. When I breath, all I can smell is sunflowers and sweetgrass bringing a wave of peace over my mind. Slowly, my head stopped spinning, my lungs didn't feel constricted, and my heart didn't hurt anymore. With just his presence, he made me feel… free.

"Thank you, nii-kun." A bright smile lit up his face. Leaning forward more, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest.

"You don't ever have to thank me. I'm your brother- it's my job to help you." Without anyone else to witness it, I couldn't help but smile softly, slowly raising my arms to return his hug. "Also," he started, pulling away enough to look me in the eye. "Don't run off like that again, ok? You gave everyone a scare."

"I'm sure they all felt safer with me gone after what I did." I whispered, turning my head away from him.

"That's not true." The image of Itachi-san's face filled with such anger towards me flashed through my mind. I slid my eyes shut as that crushing weight started to slowly return.

"Don't lie to me." Nii-kun was silent for a long time before he sighed softly.

"I'm not lying, Sakura-chan." He began in an unusually soothing voice. "Yes, they were all mad at first- but only because their friend got hurt. When they saw that you didn't mean to do it, they weren't mad. We were all just confused why it happened and worried if something was wrong."

"Itachi-san seemed pretty angry to me." A scoff was my response. Looking at him from the corner of my eye, I caught the tail end of a rare eye roll.

"Itachi-teme will get over it soon enough. You know how he is about being overly perfect, but nobody is perfect. Everyone messes up every once in a while and today was your turn. Izumi-san will be fine and everyone else will too. Just give it a little while with them. In the meantime, you have me." With the combination of his words, the bright smile, his calming scent, and his arms spread wide, an overwhelming sensation to cry came over me.

I can't cry- not now- not in front of nii-kun.

What will he think of me if I broke down now? He wouldn't see me as his strong sister that he can rely on anymore. Even though he may say otherwise, the image will stay with him. He won't see me as anything more than a little girl with flaws- not strong.

Then he won't need me anymore.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward, resting my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me once more. I held my breath along with all the emotions I felt while inhaling his scent and listening to him ramble about 'Itachi-teme'.

No, I can't cry now… later.

That Night

Stepping out of room without making a sound, I carefully made my way across the living room. Once I reached the door I was looking for, I silently cracked it open. The soft hum of my mother filled my ears as I watched her brushing her hair at the vanity father built for her.

"Are you going to come in or keep watching me?" She teased without looking at me.

How does she know when I'm around without seeing me?

Sliding inside, I shut the door behind me. Standing next to it, I watched quietly as mother finished brushing her hair. Once she was done, she turned in her chair so she could face me.

"Now, what's wrong, baby?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" For a second, she looked taken aback. I can't blame her- it's rare that I ever make a request like this.

Nodding her head, she stood. Holding a hand out to me, I crossed the room and took it. She guided me to her large bed and let me get in first. Once I was settled, she climbed in after me. We laid in silence for a while, facing each other with our foreheads pressed together.

"Saku-chan," she finally broke the silence, "what happened?" With that simple question, I felt all of my barriers breaking. Once the first tear fell, I couldn't stop the rest. To her credit, mother didn't look too alarmed, but she did wrap an arm around me, pulling me to her chest. With her other hand, she stroked my hair while cooing softly.

"I hurt someone that didn't deserve it." I cried. "I let my own selfishness get the best of me and I hurt someone." My chest tightened as the tears came faster. "I'm a monster." For a minute, she didn't say anything. She just continued the repetitive motion she was doing until my tears slowed.

"What happened?" Shaking my head slightly, I let out a shaky breath.

What did happen? The spar was going fine until that demon's voice started talking, but how was it able to speak in the first place? Whenever Nii-kun and Sasuke are around, it never talks. So why was today different? The only thing I can think of is the fact that it was the first time I truly spent time around Itachi-san since that night so long ago with the elders.

Is it's voice controlled by my emotions?

If that's the case, it shouldn't have spoken because I wasn't feeling anything. For the most part, I felt calm. There wasn't anything major that happened that should of caused this. So why?

Because you know Itachi would rather be around that girl instead of a monster. Because you saw that he immediately went to her when she needed him while he ran when you needed him. Because you know-

"He'll never love me like he loves her. He'll never care for me like he cares for everyone else… because I'm nothing but a monster. A weapon, a tool- I'm nothing that can be loved." The words tasted bitter and I hated it. A deep sigh left mother's lips as she held me tighter.

"You're my good girl, Sakura." I squeezed my eyes closed, the tears still pouring out. "You've always done what you're supposed to. You've always made sure those around you are happy. A monster wouldn't do any of that." She let out another sigh, her head resting on top of mine. "Your father thought he was a monster. Did that stop me from loving him?" A hiccup escaped me, but I didn't say anything.

It's true that father was- and still is- seen as a terrible monster. I learned as much in class when we covered when he attacked the village. Granted, no one knew the true reason why he did it, but it didn't matter to them. Everyone saw a giant, scary monster come into their village. The fact that all he wanted to was find his family isn't a factor.

So why should the fact that I only hurt Izumi because of a demon's voice be a reason for Itachi-san?

Besides, Itachi-san is nothing like mother. Mother sees the best in everyone around her. Mother would give up anything to help those that she can with open arms. Itachi-san isn't a mean person, but he doesn't forgive easily. He still hasn't forgiven his clan or the village elders for what they did years ago for almost making him do something. How long is he going to hate me for actually hurting someone close to him?

He'll never forgive me and soon, everyone else will find someone more worthy of them then me. Soon, no one will need me anymore.

Pressing my eyelids together tighter, I cried harder.

What will be left for me when everyone is gone?

Thank you for baring with me even though it's been a LONG time. I had a lot of work to do to finish up this past semester so I didn't have a lot of time to devote to writing. However, I passed this semester and have plenty of time to write this story! So, as an apology for making you guys wait so long, I will be getting started on the next chapter ASAP and will have it posted within the next 7 days. Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed! See you soon!