Cullen

Murmurs and even a few gasps swept through the crowd as Mahariel addressed Cullen as her husband, and he could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes on him a few moments later, as everyone gathered there followed Mahariel's line of sight and landed on him. The well dressed man beside him who only a minute ago had barely paid him any mind now stared at him, his jaw practically hanging wide open.

"She's your wife?" the man said, his voice strangled oddly between a whisper and a shriek.

Andraste preserve me.

Cullen said nothing in response and started moving through the crowd toward Mahariel, who stood still in the center of the square, watching him with a neutral smile on her lips. It didn't take him that long to reach her, and when he did he was surprised when she leaned in and kissed him, right on the lips.

She hooked her arm through his and addressed the crowd again. "I must beg your leave, good people. I have been away from my husband for some time and I have missed him dearly, as I'm sure you understand. I mean, just look at him," she said and winked to the women at the front of the crowd, who laughed delightedly in response.

Cullen could feel his cheeks burn, but he said nothing. He didn't know what to make of any of this.

Mahariel swung them around and started leading him toward the giant gates of Orzammar. "They can't follow us in there, they don't allow just anyone in, you know," she whispered to him as they walked. He glanced at her and she met his eyes with a playful expression on her face. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off before he even began. "I know. We have to talk. But not here."

He nodded and remained silent.

They were let in through the gates without a word, and again through the next set of gates that led them into the city itself. Cullen raised his eyebrows at the lack of greetings and Mahariel answered his expression as if she had read his mind. "I've already been here for a while. No need for pomp and welcome every time I walk in and out."

Everyone they met as they walked through the streets, however, nodded or waved in a cheery fashion at them, but gone were the gawking and the revered murmurs from above.

"They're used to me by now," Mahariel explained as they walked toward the palace, waving back and nodding to most people they met on the way. "Besides, dwarfs are not as easily impressed as humans."

Cullen was not so sure, when only moments later the royal guards outside the palace bowed deeply to her when the allowed them entrance. "You were saying?" he asked and smiled, momentarily forgetting why he was even there.

"Well. Some are more grateful than others," she said, her voice low so that no one would overhear them, and the corner of her mouth curved up in a little smile, and then she did that thing where she wet her lower lip before biting it quickly. It was something she did unknowingly and Cullen had always found it adorable.

He groaned inwardly. He was supposed to be mad at her, demanding explanations and – but he shook his head. This would be very difficult indeed.

Once inside Mahariel's lavish quarters, he was at a loss for what to say. She shut the door behind them and swept past him, sitting down at the foot of her bed. She motioned for him to sit in one of the chairs just beside her. He did, and took a deep breath before he looked up at her. He managed to hold her gaze for about two full seconds before he turned his head away again. The light from the huge fireplace danced gold and shadows over her exquisite face, and he couldn't think straight. He berated himself inwardly for not preparing for this better. It was like he had almost forgotten how beautiful she was while they had been apart, while his rage against her had festered in him. But it wasn't only her beauty he'd forgotten. It was that sharp look in her eyes, that irresistible, unreadable expression of a burning intellect that drove lesser men into behaving like sniveling, pathetic dogs before her. It had taken even him some time when they had first gotten to know each other to get used to her intensity, but he had and he suspected that was the reason why she had taken to him and they had become such good friends. She wasn't used to being treated like a normal person, and he knew that she loved him for being a friend to her.

But things were different now. She was his wife, and with everything that had happened recently, he knew now that there was nothing that could change that fact, even though he had sworn to Ashe that he would leave Mahariel and never look back if that was what it took. But now, as he steeled himself and looked at her again, he knew that it would be impossible for him to keep that promise. He didn't know what he would fucking do, and Mahariel must have seen the anguish in his face because the next thing he knew, she was on her feet and her hand caressed his cheek.

"Cullen." His name rolling over her tongue sent shivers down his spine if her touch didn't already. "Tell me what's wrong." She sat down on the bed again.

Why wasn't she demanding an answer to why he wasn't in Amaranthine any more? Her eyes seemed filled with nothing more than concern for him.

"You really don't know?" he asked, allowing a tiny sliver of hope to rise to the surface. If she wasn't complicit in any of this, he wouldn't have to hate her.

"Know what? I have been in the Deep Roads, traveling from thaig to thaig for quite some time. I don't have time for gossip, Cullen. I only sent word to you since I heard that you were in Skyhold again when I returned to Orzammar."

"Aren't you going to ask why I left our home?" he asked, surprising himself by referring to the arling as home.

"I'm sure you had a good reason." Her expression was stern but her eyes were still soft, reassuring.

"Tell me, Mahri. Tell me why you asked me to be your steward. Tell me why you agreed to marry me. I will ask you only once and I will ask that you do not tell me any lies."

Mahariel's eyes hardened in an instant, and Cullen fought to hold her gaze, but he did so with determination. He knew he was insulting her, but he had to demand the truth, and nothing but.

"I have never lied to you, and you know it." Her voice was disturbingly calm. "I knew that I would have to be away for a long time. I have to find a cure for the Calling, Cullen, Alistair is dying from it, and soon I will too. Maybe not for another decade or two, but this needs to stop. Sacrifice is a sacred thing, but if it is unnecessary, it's not noble, it's just stupid. Wardens are warriors of incredible power, and to waste our talents too soon is just that – a waste. But I couldn't just abandon my home to be ungoverned. I needed someone I trust to take charge – I needed you, Cullen."

"And who gave you the idea that it should be me?"

Mahariel's gaze was as steely as ever. "It was my idea."

"You're telling me that you didn't even discuss it with Alistair?"

"I did, but I had no choice. He is king, and we all answer to him. It is not my place to leave just anybody in charge of land that lies within his borders. He never mentioned your name, he merely suggested that it had to be someone I trust with my life and my home, someone who is good at leading people, someone strong. And forgive me for saying so, but I doubt he had you in mind. He hates your guts."

"Oh? So he was hard to convince, then? When you suggested me?"

"He wasn't happy about it."

That sly fucker.

Cullen knew that Alistair had, of course, pretended to be offended by the idea. For about two seconds before accepting, probably.

"He tricked you into it."

Mahariel sighed, her eyes softening again, surprisingly. "Does it even matter, Cullen? He was right, either way. There is no one I trust more than you."

"He told you that he was engaged to her, didn't he? You didn't hear it from someone else?"

"Alistair and Ashe, you mean? Yes, he told me. That is why I asked you to reconsider when you first turned me down for the stewardship. I had your interest at heart too, Cullen, you must know this. I knew that she would eventually have to disband the Inquisition and I wanted you to have a purpose. I couldn't bear to watch you both heartbroken and with no duties to keep your mind off things. I… I know how that feels."

For the first time, she looked away from him and stared into the fire instead. Cullen felt most of his anger dissipate as he watched the rare display of emotions on her face. She had gone through such terrible ordeals in her life, but it was easy to forget since she never let it show.

They were quiet for a while before he spoke again. "How did you do it? How did you survive what he did to you, all those years ago?"

Mahariel didn't answer for a while, but when she spoke her voice was steady. "I just did. I had no choice. And I know that I was partly responsible. I forced him to rule. I know it's hard to believe now, but he never wanted to be king. He only wanted for us to be together. But what he wanted and what I wanted didn't matter. I knew that, but he refused to see it. Making him him king united the nation and in the long run helped us end the Blight. That I'm an elf meant that I could never be his queen. Things are different now, I mean we have a mage for Divine, for Andraste's sake. Who knows, maybe now it wouldn't have been so bad. But it was back then. Do you know why he started to sleep around on me so much? It was to produce an heir as quickly as possible, so that there would be no need for a queen for anything but in name only. So that I would stay with him. He knew that I would never stay to watch him marry someone else that he had to have an actual love life with."

She sighed before continuing. "That was only in the beginning, though. The more he did it, the colder I became. To have to watch him constantly having all those girls around him..."

Cullen resisted the urge to reach out and put his arms around her. It was shocking to hear her otherwise level voice shake like this.

"It killed my feelings for him, in the end, and his for me. And that's the end of it."

"So you just… moved on?"

Mahariel turned her head and looked at him again, a glint of sorrow quickly followed by pity for him in her eyes. "Yes," she said softly. "That is what people do, Cullen. We survive, and we move on."

"It's hard to move on when you have been deceived," he said, his voice sounding colder than he intended.

Mahariel raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Alistair was never engaged to Ashe. He only told you that so you would tell me, to get me away from her."

He was shocked when she laughed. "Do you think that's funny?" he snarled, his rage clawing its way to the surface again.

Mahariel put her hands over her mouth and tried to compose herself. "No, no, I'm sorry Cullen. It's terrible, really. But somehow, what you're telling me doesn't surprise me. He has always spun things to get his way. But I must admit, I'm a little impressed that he managed to pull this off. Didn't you speak to Ashe yourself right after you and I were wed?"

Cullen felt his face go red with shame over being reminded of his own stupidity. "It was a short, heated exchange. Their engagement didn't even come up."

Mahariel's face was serious again. "I'm sorry for laughing, Cullen. I know how you feel about Ashe. And what Alistair did was foul. I guess I'm too used to his behavior by now to find it shocking." She paused for a bit before a curious expression swept over her face. "Can I ask you then, why you asked me to marry you? And don't soften your words for me, Cullen, I'm a big girl, under no illusion that you did it because you couldn't resist me."

Cullen looked away, unable to face her. "I… I don't have a good answer for you. I'm almost as surprised that I asked you as I am over the fact that you accepted. Why… why did you say yes?"

Her eyes were unreadable yet again. She looked at him in silence for so long that he almost began to squirm before she finally answered him with a question of her own. "Why did you leave Amaranthine?"

"I found out. The lie about Alistair and Ashe, that they were never to be wed."

"That surprises me. Not that you found out, but I thought that Alistair would move quickly with her once you were with me. Do you know what happened?"

"She found out, too, of course."

"And may I ask what happened when you went to see her in Skyhold, then?"

Cullen's insides clenched. He didn't want to think about what a blunt idiot he had been. "It… it didn't go well. What could I tell her? No matter why, I'm still married to you."

He instantly regretted his harsh tone when he saw his words bite at Mahariel and a look of hurt flickered quickly over her face. He wanted her to say something, anything, but her jaw was set as she was clearly fighting to regain her neutral expression. He stood up and sat beside her at the bed. He was relieved when she let him take her hand in his.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm relieved beyond measure to hear straight from you that you had nothing to do with this mess, that you didn't willingly trick me into this."

"I would never -"

"I know." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "I know that now, it's not your fault. And there's nothing we can do to change it now, anyway. I… I tried, Mahri. I tried to explain to her, I told her that I would do anything, but she rejected it. I stuck around, tried to respect her privacy, her need for space and contemplation. But she never came around, never asked to speak to me. And then I got your letter..."

"I'm sorry, Cullen, I didn't mean to drag you away from her."

Cullen smiled weakly. "No, you didn't. It was a good thing. I needed to see you and hear all that you have told me today. I know that I have said some harsh things to you. But I care a great deal for you, you know that."

She sighed and didn't protest when he pulled her into his arms. She was much smaller than him, her head resting nestled against his chest, and he felt oddly at ease with her so close to him. They sat there for a long while, and he felt a sense of calm settling over him that he hadn't felt in a long time. She quieted his inner turmoil, and for that he was very grateful.

He didn't even notice when he fell asleep, but he woke up disoriented, the room almost dark since the fireplace now contained only glowing embers. He sat up and looked around him, his arms cold and bereft of Mahariel's warmth. He didn't see her, but he saw long shadows in the corner cast by another source of light that seemed to come from behind a stone wall that he hadn't noticed before. He got out of the bed and approached the wall, the light pulling him closer, and he rounded the corner.

He swallowed hard as he saw candlelight dance over the copper tub in front of him, and his eyes slowly rose from the tub up over Mahariel's bare back, her wet, golden hair slicked to it where she sat resting in the steaming water against the metal rim. Her delicate, pointed ears were more visible than usual, and he watched quietly as she put her hand up to one of them and let her fingers glide over it, pushing some of her hair away from it. He didn't know why but watching her touch it like that sent shivers all over him. Warmth pooled in his stomach as he watched her do the same to the other one.

He must have let out some kind of noise since Mahariel suddenly turned around and looked at him in surprise. He didn't know if he felt relieved or disappointed that the wet strands of her hair covered her from his dark eyes.

Ashe

She had hoped in vain that Leliana had been wrong, that someone had pulled a joke on them. The idea of Hawke and Alistair being friendly in some tavern was simply too outlandish to possibly be true.

But she had received word now, and Leliana had not been wrong. The Champion of Kirkwall and the King of Ferelden had been spotted in the Frostbacks, traveling together.

When Ashe watched from the battlements how the gates were being opened and a company of men on horses thundered through, with that familiar head of messy black hair and the other man with golden locks beside him coming into view, Ashe fought the urge to hide her face in her hands.

She didn't notice Leliana's presence beside her until she heard the woman speak. "This should be interesting," she said, her tone delighted.

Ashe stared at the now crowded courtyard before turning her head toward Leliana.

"Interesting? This is going to be a fucking disaster."