Can't help myself. Can't get enough of them. Sorry.

Robert Sullivan had some experience with distressed women. He was a firefighter after all. And he used to have a wife. And he was proud that they had open relationship where they didn't have to be afraid to show emotions to the other. They could deal with it together. And if one needed time it was okay too as long as they met again when they were ready to talk and face it.

When he lost Claire everything changed for him. Everything was wrong and different. It didn't matter what he chose to do in his life, it didn't matter how much he tried to change and it didn't matter how dangerous assignment he took. He was a different man. He retreated when he lost his wife and he didn't want to think about anything. He went from one day to another and felt so alone and the grieve was so great that he could barely breathe.

He was living on autopilot, focusing on simple tasks like breathing, eating, sleeping, going to work. He had no social life and no desire to have it. He just existed. Here in the US, in Afghanistan, in Germany where he ended after he got injured on a mission. He was a steep learner, languages were no problem for him so he always had to chance to make friends and find someone to be close to him. Only that he didn't want to. Why should he?

His heart was broken, shattered and he saw no reason in trying to mend it. He just lived from one day to another and waited for something that would change him. But he doubted anything would. What could anyway? After teaching at the Academy he thought he was done with firefighting but then he got the shot to run his own station in Montana and he took it. It was far away enough for him to feel comfortable enough to exist there.

And when he got another one to run 19 in Seattle, he was reluctant to take it. Was he ready to come back? Was he ready to face Captain Herrera and Luke? Was he ready to face the streets and known places that would always remind him of his wife? When she died he died with her. But he took the job and had little expectations.

And now? Now he was sitting in the bunk, on the bed, holding Andy in his arms, letting her cry and feel horrible, shielding her from the door and prying ears and eyes. He held her and tried to offer comfort and was surprised that he knew how. That he could. But everything was different with her now, wasn't it? She had the fabric of his shirt in her fists and he rocked her slowly back and forth, whispering soothing words and offering the only comfort he could.

When he heard Pruitt admit that he was indeed sick, his heart felt weird. He felt strange pain and guilt and worry and something else he couldn't name. But his instinct told him to go and be there for her. Hughes wanted to stop him but one look from Pruitt gave him the answer he needed. He was okay with him going in there. He let him go in there. He let him comfort his daughter.

He had no idea how much time passed as he held her but it certainly wasn't enough. She calmed down a bit and then her tears stopped. They were silent now, the wrecking sobs were gone and the horrible pain was dull now. She moved away a bit from him but their legs were still touching and she kept on of her hands on his chest as he kept on of his around her.

"I'm so sorry." He said and she nodded.

"He's gonna die." She said.

"I know."

"And he… he thinks I threw everything away."

"No, that's not true." He tried to argue with her but she wasn't listening. He let her sit there and think about whatever she needed to think about.

"Andy…" He said after some time and she looked up at him. "What can I do?" He asked, his own voice full of emotions. She searched his face for clues and signs but she found nothing. He was there, open and honest, just there for her. She saw something in his eyes, something she thought she had imagined before. She saw… love. And it was the last straw she needed to feel fresh tears in her eyes. How could he?

She leaned into his arms again and he held her, not sure what just happened, what triggered the reaction. What surprised him even more was when she looked up at him and kissed him.

They both froze on the spot. They were so close to each other that their breaths mingled together.

"Sorry." She said.

"Andy…" He whispered her name and when she looked at him again he let her decide what to do next. If this was what she needed, he would give it to her.

Andy was watching him, confused and sad and broken and desperate. He asked her what could he do. And this was the only thing she could think of. He could kiss her and show her he loved her if he really did, he could be there for her and let her forget for one moment before she would have to face the reality again.

But when she kissed him, when their lips touched, she knew it was the wrong thing to do because it would destroy her at once. He was there, so warm and welcoming, he smelled so nice and he was willing to do anything for her. She knew how she still felt about him and she could only guess how he felt about her.

He did a lot of bad things. He broke her heart, he pushed her away, he humiliated her, he promoted Maya. But he also cared about her and wanted to protect her and she knew it. He was clumsy at his efforts but when she put aside the anger she felt she could see it. And it was scary because she didn't understand it.

Sullivan touched her face and she leaned into his palm. She loved his hands and how he could make her feel. Closing her eyes she just waited. He didn't say anything but he kept his hand where it was and his thumb started to move across her cheek.

"Anything you need, I'm here." He said and for a moment was sure he meant it. Andy looked at him and felt so numb inside again, so mad and so betrayed that she could have done anything. Nodding she moved closer and kissed him again.

"Make me feel alive." She said and he kissed her back. After a minute of the two of them kissing and their hands exploring, he pulled her onto his lap and she straddled him, clutching him, pressing into him. Their kissing was getting more and more intense and it was getting out of hand.

And suddenly Robert stopped. Andy didn't know why and he was too afraid to tell her that he was in such pain he could see white stars and nothing else. He was stiff and had to breathe through it. Andy thought he changed his mind so she moved away from him. She climbed down from him and wanted to leave but he took her hand and brought her back to him.

She stood there in between his legs and he held her sides firmly. Andy let him rest his head on her chest and waited.

"I'm sorry." He said then.

"No, I shouldn't have asked you for this."

"You didn't ask me for anything. I offered."

"And you changed your mind."

"No. Not back then the and not now." He said fiercely and looked up into her eyes. "But your father is outside that door waiting for you to talk to him." He added and she immediately grew sad again, the pain hitting her square in the chest.

"I can't."

"You can."

"No."

"Yes. Yes, you can because he needs you and he loves you." He told her. Andy started to cry again and stepped away from him. He let her. He stood up and walked over to her. He pulled her to his arms and she cried for a minute or two before she took a deep breath.

"Go." She said. He nodded. Their little stolen moment in time was over. Kissing her forehead he blinked away his own tears and left. He saw Pruitt in the hall and just nodded at him.

"Sullivan." Pruitt called him.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Thank you." He said sincerely and Sullivan just nodded silently. They stood there looking at each other and the silent conversation between them made them both think. When Andy stepped outside that room Sullivan left without a word.

"Andrea…" Pruitt said and Andy to her own disbelief started to cry again. And so he walked over to her and embraced her. There was no help for this. Only time.

When she calmed down they walked together to the beanery and soon the word was out about Pruitt's condition. And aside from Dean who was with his newborn daughter others came to be there with Pruitt as much as their duties allowed him. Damn the blizzard. Sullivan wasn't sure if he should come or not so he stayed in his office. And was surprised when Hughes came to him.

"Sir?" She said as she knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Everyone is up in the beanery with Captain Herrera."

"I know." He tried to dismiss her.

"Well as you just spent couple hours with his crying daughter you might wanna go there, Sir and be with your crew." She told him firmly and knew she was in for some punishment and reprimand but he just watched her silently.

"It's not a good idea, Hughes."

"Staying here alone isn't a good idea, Sir." She told him and he was shocked at her behavior. Well so was she. "We're waiting for you. Don't let us down. Or are you not one of us anymore?" She asked him and that hurt.

"Hughes." He wanted to explain somehow but didn't have the right words.

"Moving up here to this office doesn't mean you don't belong to 19 anymore. Maybe you should remember that." She told him, she wasn't happy and she was mad at him for sitting there and looking like it didn't concern him. So she left.

Sullivan had to admit that he didn't think she would come. Hell that anyone would come. He thought he pissed them all so much that they would be gladly without him. Was he wrong? Or was it just Hughes? He didn't know. It was so strange. This was a strange day. And he felt like crap. Anyway, he got up and walked there to meet the crew and Captain Herrera. He could mingle for a couple of minutes and then go back to his office and pretend he was not there at all. Right?

The crew was there and so was Andy. She was sitting on the couch in the lounge and she looked exhausted. Gibson was keeping her company and looked equally miserable. And literally beaten. What the hell happened? He wanted to know but saw Bishop and realized it was not his problem anymore unless she wanted to talk to him about it. He hated this post. He hated being Battalion Chief but what could he have done?

Montgomery handed him box with doughnuts and he took one with a quiet thanks. He watched his people and realized that he missed them. Missed going on calls and missed being one of them. The pain that just shot through him and made him grit his teeth reminded him why he had to be where he was. Feeling sad and empty he left after some time and the only one that noticed how defeated he looked was Pruitt.

Excusing himself he went after him.

"Sullivan." He called before he could leave. They stopped in the hall.

"Sir?"

"Are you okay?" Pruitt asked him sincerely.

"No, of course I'm not." Sullivan replied and Pruitt felt like an idiot for a moment.

"Talk to me."

"I'm sorry, Sir, but this is not something I wish to discuss." He said politely and knew in the moment he said that sentence that it was a mistake.

"Maybe not but maybe you need to discuss it."

"Sir, please, just let it be and go back to others." Sullivan tried as he desperately wanted to sit down and scream into his pillow. It was good at least for that.

"You were wrong, you know?"

"About what, Sir?"

"She will forgive you." Pruitt said and Sully didn't know what to say to that.

"And I know you won't tell her the truth about the promotion but I will. She deserves to know." Pruitt told him and Sullivan didn't agree.

"Don't do it, Pruitt."

"Why not?"

"Because she needs you on her side. She shouldn't think you betrayed her."

"She thinks you did and it's not true." Pruitt argued back.

"But it's easier for her and I can take it." Sullivan said honestly.

"Because you lied to me." Pruitt said and Sully immediately looked defensive.

"I never lied to you."

"You said there was nothing going on between you and my daughter and that was a lie."

"Sir." Sullivan warned him but Pruitt needed to say it out loud.

"You fell in love with her. I had it all wrong, didn't I?" Pruitt asked and Sullivan was speechless. "Even back then it wasn't about you using her or her doing something she shouldn't have. It was about this all along." Pruitt said and felt deep sympathy for the younger man.

"I'm sorry, Robert. Really sorry." Pruitt said and looked sad and defeated. Sullivan didn't reply and just turned away and left. There was nothing he could say at that moment. Everything was like a nightmare.