Hi All! Here is chapter two. Hope you enjoy.
Morgan sat staring out the car window. The remnants of the rain held thick in the air outside and the grass was laden with droplets sliding down the stems at each blow of the wind. The droplets congregated together and created pockets of puddles in the lawn. She rolled down the window and smelled the grey and worms floating in the air. All in all, it encapsulated her mood perfectly.
"Are you ready, Morguna?" The voice broke her out of her thoughts and she looked over to see her mom's hand on the door handle. With a tight nod they exited the car and loaded their arms with boxes. Morgan grabbed one full of clothes. She knew her stuffed mini Gerald was hidden at the bottom. The building rose tall before them and they, avoiding the puddles, watched as other people moved their own stuff in.
A tight knot that formed weeks ago in Morgan's stomach twisted further. She watched as the people's laughs echoed up the stairs and boxes of stuff were stacked in every corner of the lobby. Hordes of people stopped unloading and began forming groups inside the ring of boxes. They were already mingling and gossiping about each of the floors they lived on. Her mom nudged her shoulder and motioned to the people but Morgan shook her head.
After stopping for a breather in between stairways they made it the third floor and found her room. The beds were striped and besides a few boxes by one of the beds, the room was empty. She turned to the other bed and plopped her clothes down before sitting down on the bed. Her mom sat beside her.
"Are you sure you want to stay? You could go to a school closer to home or we could get a private tutor?" Her mom said winding her arms around Morgan. Morgan sighed and leaned against her shoulder.
"Mom, I want to come here. I'm just nervous."
"Right, right. I know that. I'm just going miss you."
Morgan turned into her mom's arms and breathed in the scent of vanilla.
"I'll miss you too, Mom. Always."
They were sweating and sore by the time they were done moving all her stuff into the room. The two of them moved slow, taking breaks to explore and joke to make light of the situation. It was the first time she would be away from her mom. It would be the time for many firsts but she wasn't looking forward to their goodbye. It would be nothing but bittersweet.
Pepper stared at her child, her little girl who was not so little anymore, and was reminded of who should have been there to help them move. Morgan's eyes sparkled with a drive for knowledge and excitement as she showed her around the school. It was a spark that was missing until recently and Pepper was glad she was going to school. That she would be able to experience some normality in her youth.
Unbeknownst to her daughter she was afraid. Afraid that Morgan would hate it. Afraid she would be hurt and most of all Pepper was afraid of being alone. Logically, she knew she wouldn't be alone, but the quiet house at night and milk going bad because she was the only one drinking it made her stomach clench.
Her daughter moved about the room, putting clothes away and organizing her desk, and Pepper marveled at how much she'd grown over the years. Her dark hair was recently cut short and the curls sprang up, earning to escape her head. Pepper forced a smile onto her face when Morgan looked over. This could be good for her. This was good for her.
Morgan turned around to find her mom staring at her and made herself smile back. She turned back around to fluff the clothes in the drawer so she wouldn't have to face her again just yet. She ignored the trembling in her hands and pushed the one drawer shut louder than was needed moving onto the next one.
How could she think of leaving her mom? For almost her whole life they had been together. Her mom had always been there for her. In second grade, when she shaved part of her head all jagged, her mom did the same to her own hair. In sixth grade, she decided to perform in the talent show. It was a rendition of I Want to Hold Your Hand and she loved the song with all her heart. Unfortunately, the other students didn't like it as much and let her know how ridiculous they all thought it was. Her mom was there, helping her practice and cheering her on the big day. Through first crushes and failed try-outs her mom was right alongside her to bolster her.
And now she was leaving. Going far enough away to school that Morgan couldn't just pop home for the weekends. The knot twisted again. This was going to be fine. A lot of people went to university and all of them were okay. She wasn't abandoning her mom. It was normal to want to go to school and she should not feel guilty.
Morgan folded the same shirt over again before looking down and seeing it was inside out. She stuffed it back into the drawer without looking and walked away. It would be fine.
The mattress dipped under her weight as she leaned her elbows on the headboard. Her roommate asked if she wanted to go down to the common room to meet other freshmen but she declined. The thought of being around people made her mouth dry. Her hands curled into fists and Morgan could feel her nails digging into the flesh of her palm. She should be out there meeting people. She wanted to meet the people in her building and make friends but something stopped her.
Her mom left bestowing a bushel of hugs and kisses to last her the night. Between them they shed enough tears to shower an alpaca, but it wasn't enough. Morgan missed the smell of vanilla. Her arms felt oddly bereft of her mom's. It was a Tuesday and Morgan knew if she were back home the two of them would be curled up on the couch binge watching Brooklyn-99 or their favorite movies.
Instead, she was staring at mostly filled boxes containing the things she would gladly give away to be back in her home. Morgan let the breath she was holding escape and un-wrung her fingers, moving them back and forth to get the blood moving.
Without forethought she jumped off her bed and paced back and forth. Morgan stopped, staring out the thick glass of the window. There were some crowds walking past. A group of people speaking Japanese walked by. Their words traveled up the walls and into Morgan's room falling into her ears. She couldn't understand what they were saying but a ghost of a smile crossed her face when they broke out laughing. The smile faded as the people walked behind a corner, leaving an empty courtyard.
Morgan swiped the carpet with her foot and ended up moving her backpack. She looked down and brought it over to where she was sitting before. The zipper gave way under the direction of her hands and she pulled out the red mask. She held the cheeks in her trembling hands and stared into the dark eye sockets. She wasn't sure why she snuck into his office to take it, only that some part of her couldn't leave the house without a piece of him. Morgan needed him to be there in some small way today and this was the best she could do.
Her eyes closed against the barrage of memories that threatened to break loose from their holdings. One swept out from under her concentration and the laughter and quiet footsteps of her memory engulfed her.
She saw her young reflection in the silver metal of the refrigerator. Morgan's hand reached up to open the door. Her fingertips just grasping onto the handle when a larger hand rested on top. The other in the large pair played with the ends of her hair as it had when they tip-toed through the kitchen.
Her mom's voice floated down from the office on a work call and the dinner already made was waiting on the stovetop. Morgan had been sitting at her small desk next to her dad's but was bored. She practically finished all her homework and decided that what her dad was doing was more interesting. Settling into his lap she hugged his chest and buried her head into the crook of his arm. His arms came around her tight and secure like they always did. He sat there working and listening to a story she told him about Ms. Casey at pre-school.
It wasn't until her stomach growled for attention that they got up, ready to hunt for a pre-dinner snack. They crept through the house, rolling on the carpet and hiding behind corners until they came upon the kitchen. The freezer opened sending a puff of cold air into their faces and her dad grabbed some popsicles – always cherry and strawberry for each – out from the top self. He passed the stick into her waiting hands and they went outside to sit on the porch. Alongside each other they sat looking into the forest.
Morgan loved their home in the woods. Sometimes she missed having neighbors, but she loved the quiet best. She looked over to her dad and watched as the tension in his shoulder's disappeared. A small smile crossed his lips when he asked her to stick out her tongue. She laughed when he made funny faces with his stained tongue sticking out.
The door opened and the two turned around to face her mom, popsicle sticks safely behind their backs. They smiled innocently, Morgan forgetting the evidence was stained into their skin. Pepper tried to maintain a straight face but the looks on her husband and daughter's faces were so similar and cute.
"You guys better be ready to eat all of the dinner." She huffed good-naturedly, winking at Tony.
They both clambered up. Morgan fell over her feet and her dad picked her up. He threw her over his shoulder, all while assuring Pepper that there wouldn't be any leftovers. She remembered kicking and laughing when her dad carried all through the house chasing her mom until they all collapsed on her parent's bed.
That was a month before he was gone.
Morgan tossed the helmet onto the bed. She didn't want to think about that time. The knot constricted in her chest a little tighter.
Her eyes closed but snapped open at the sound of a click. The wall glowed and her eyes traced the light back to the helmet laid innocently against her pillow. The once dark eyes glowed bright as she knew they once had in life. Her hands trembled as she picked it up to try and turn it off; to stop what was coming. It was something she'd only watched once and refused to ever see again. The helmet slipped out of her shaking hands and pricks assaulted her eyes. It rolled against the hardwood and stopped with a light thud against the dresser. The projector proceeded and her dad's face appeared on the wall.
The image was crooked and Morgan would have to turn her head at a 90-degree angle to see it clearly. She didn't. Her eyes slammed closed and Morgan tried to concentrate on the smooth fibers of her new sheets. Her mind screamed at her to turn it off. To run away, anywhere, but her body was frozen on the bed.
Then the voice she hadn't heard in twelve years ghosted through the room.
"Everybody wants a happy ending, right?" Her eyes pinched closed tighter, making swirls of black dance across the inside of her eyelids. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to see this ghostly apparition.
His words filled the room heedless of Morgan's pleas. She rubbed her hands on the bed sheet before covering her ears with them but it didn't stop the soothing tone of his voice creeping through her fingers. A wave of despair threated to crash into her, to break her away from reality but she wouldn't let it. Morgan had spent enough time haunted by the ghosts of her past and she wouldn't let it consume her here in this new place. She stood up quickly, pushing the mattress against the wall with a thud. Her hands were in fists at her side and her legs shook, weakening in strength until she leaned against the desk. Her hands grasped the edges and she felt the grains in the wood against her fingertips. She looked behind her and saw the helmet against the door.
"A normal vision of the planet has been restored"
Morgan turned around and let her back hit the cold wall as she watched not the projection but the glowing eyes. Her own darted away and she saw the people walking by in the hallway. They were chatting amongst themselves unaware of what was happening. Unaware of how much was lost.
An itching feeling started in her feet and climbed up, infecting the rest of her limbs. Morgan carded her fingers through her hair until the strands were taught against her scalp.
All of the people walking, all of them in the building, and the world didn't know. They couldn't realize that something greater than themselves was gone. Her world was lost that day and nobody knew. It wasn't fair that they were here and he wasn't.
She stumbled and fell onto her knees. Tears caressed her cheeks as they made their way to the floor. Her dad should have been there to help. He could've carried the boxes easily up the three flights of stairs. He knew how to assemble her loft bed, but instead her mom and her labored over it for hours. It wasn't fair. Her dad missed so much of her life that sometimes it felt like he had never been there in the first place.
"I love you 3000."
A haze filtered through her eyes but through it she saw his brown eyes, the small quick of his lips, and a smile that knotted the rope so she felt it would never come undone.
He left her all alone.
"I hate you." She whispered to the room. The projection stopped and the light dimmed, leaving only the shadows of furniture covering Morgan in the darkness. The hallway was quiet and Morgan fell to the side. Her hip dug into the wood but she didn't move from that spot.
Morgan laid in the silence and wished that it was gone. She wished that his voice would fill the room once more.
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