"BANG! BANG! BANG! " Every hit against the strong bulkhead of the SSV Normandy SR2 rang out through the entire ship. Every crew member knew that their commanding officer had just found the remains of her previous ship. This one had conveniently taken the title of the wreckage. Each pound of metal upon metal made even Subject Zero jump in response. Tali Zorah understood the pain that her friend was carrying as she ran the numbers on the drive core and so did the turian soldier in the crew quarters. Garrus was trying to calibrate the main gun for their fight against the Collectors, but he just couldn't concentrate; he went to clean his Widow sniper rifle instead.
Miranda was sending some report or another to the Illusive Man as tears fell onto the tablet in front of her. Ever since the mission to relocate her sister, hell even before that, Miranda Lawson came to admire the N7, she even now thought of her as a friend. She cried silently for the woman she saw a strong and capable. If she were really honest with herself however, the operative would realize that Riley Shepard, Hero of the Citadel had come to mean a lot to her; so much in fact that she dropped the incomplete report on her desk and ran to the elevator. She all but punched the button that led down to the Cargo Bay that held the grieving commander
Down in the cargo bay Commander Riley Shepard throws her old N7 helmet against wall after wall of the room. She screams in agony for her former fallen crew as she carries the weight of their dog tags around her neck. Her short red hair matted with sweat as she exerted herself still in full armor. Before they even started this mission, Riley had designed her new armor; painted it red with a camo pattern. She honestly thought it looked really cool. The armor was now the heaviest thing on her person but she couldn't bring herself to go to her quarters to remove it.
Each dog tag she picked up on that remote frozen planet was another hundred pounds onto her shoulders. Twenty had been down on the surface along with Navigator Pressley's data pad. Sure he had been a xenophobic asshole when she met him, always talking bad about all of the aliens that went along in the mission against Saren, but as time went on, there was a change in his demeanor. He began socializing with the non human members of the crew and even laughed at one of Wrex's jokes about Salarians and Turians. The man had come a long way only to have his life taken by an explosion in the cockpit of the original Normandy.
As the dog tags swung in the air and clinked together, Shepard didn't hear the elevator doors open. Her arm swung back and threw the wrecked helmet right next to the elevator opening. Riley's green eyes opened wide to see her loyal XO cross the threshold and into the cargo bay with her. The two women looked at each other for a long time before Shepard's pristine face cracked with emotion.
The red head leaned forward against the workbench and sobbed. Huge tears ran down her pale cheeks as she remembered each face that owned each dog tag. She saw them so vividly in her mind. Jenkins with his energetic, sweet, and naïve nature; he had been the first casualty of this war. Taken by a Geth Recon drone on Eden Prime. He was so ready for his first assignment. Then there was Kaiden. Sure he was a little cocky and headstrong and he gave her this weird vibe whenever he was in her party but she felt the weight of his sacrifice on the planet Virmire. He stayed behind with the neutron bomb that blew up Saren's Krogan breeding facility.
The commander was suddenly realizing just how many lives she had actually risked in in order to save the Citadel council. The Geth were coming through the relay and they were attacking the Destiny Ascension. Shepard had a choice to make then, either concentrate the Alliance ships on the Reaper Sovereign, or save the council. The dreadnaught had called for help and being the bleeding heart she was, Riley sent the order to save the aliens. So many ships were lost which held another countless amount of lives.
It was hard to realize that she sent them to their deaths. Shepard gripped the edge of the workbench until her knuckles went white. Huge, violent tears ran down her face and Riley began to lose strength in her knees. They buckled and she knew she was going to fall; but as she descended on to the ground, Shepard felt a pair of strong arms around her waist, holding her up. Riley looked down to see the white and black gloves of Miranda Lawsons skin tight Cerberus suit holding her around the waist. She could feel the weight of the woman's forehead against the back-plate of her armor.
Riley had no idea that the woman behind her would be the one to comfort her in this way. No words were spared in this moment. Miranda just let her cry. The brunette knew that her friend needed this moment. To grieve, to be angry at the Collectors, to mourn the loss of everything that she had known for so long.
"I'm here, Shepard." Miranda spoke with her heavy Australian accent.
It was one of the things that Riley really loved about her savior. Ms. Lawson was the one that literally brought her back from the dead. It was hard to comprehend at first with all of the science and technology involved with such a thing. In truth, Cerberus had done a lot for the commander. The rogue organization had committed horrible crimes; done horrible experiments on humans and other organics alike. They even were behind the attack on Akuze. It was truly something that she could never really forgive, but Miranda had never been a part of it. Sure she didn't care for Cerberus itself, but Miranda was a completely different story.
Ever since Riley opened her eyes again after the original Normandy crashed, the bright blue eyes were the first thing she saw. Sure she wasn't supposed to wake up that first time but when she did, Riley reached out for the smooth skin of the cheek above her. She felt Miranda's warm hand in her own, almost begging her to remain calm and let the sedatives take over her body. Countless dreams of the woman haunted her ever since then, but the red head had no idea how to respond to them. Especially with the initial hostility that Miranda showed her in the beginning.
"I'm not sure I can do this anymore, Miri." Riley said through her tears.
She heard Niket use the name for the woman behind her and almost instantly took it as her own. Shepard asked if it was ok to call Miranda that after the mission to relocate Orianna and her family. Since the brunette had just lost the only person she believed she could trust, Riley made sure it was ok to use the small subtle nickname.
Shepard sounded so broken, so defeated now. It was hard to see her like this, but Miranda wouldn't change it for the world. As she rested her heard on Riley's backplate, she felt the cool metal against her skin. It relaxed her in a way but she really wanted to feel the woman underneath it all.
Miri grasped each dog tag in her hand and tugged ever so slightly. This made the commander turn around and look her in the eye. The green eyes met blue and almost at once, Miranda felt a little intimidated. She looked past the tears and saw the brightness that held her entire world.
When the Illusive Man gave her this assignment in the first place it almost seemed like he was challenging her. He gave her the location in which Shepard's body was and all but delivered the woman to her. With the amount of money they spent to bring Shepard back, they could've raised an entire army. But both people knew what had to be done. At first Miranda wasn't sure if she wanted to play God. She never was one for religion, but she knew that some things were meant to stay dead.
With the Reaper threat on the horizon however, they knew that Shepard was the only one that could turn the tide of war.
That first moment that Riley opened her eyes, Miranda was the first thing she saw; that much the operative knew. There was still so much work to be done, there were still so many facial scars and she was still in the middle of a blood transfusion. Shepard reached for the brunette and when she gripped the hand in front of her everything seemed to make sense. In that one moment, Miranda's life held so much more purpose. Not only did she bring a hero back from the dead, but she realized that she needed to protect her with every ounce of her being.
This scared Miranda more than anything. The only person that she had held a protective nature before had been her baby sister Orianna. Once she held that little baby in her arms and took her from their monster of a father, Miranda felt that there wouldn't be anything else that would bring her such joy. She was so glad that she was wrong.
A strand of hair fell from its place on Riley's head and into her face. It covered one of the beautiful eyes in front of her and before the redhead could bring her hand up to move it, Miranda herself moved the offending hair out of the way. This damned suit barred her from feeling the softness of it she could guess that it would be the softest thing she had ever felt in her life.
"We'll get them, Riley. I promise."
Of course Miranda meant the Collectors, but Shepard knew that there was so much more to it. For the moment however it was enough. Riley shot forward and wrapped her arms around Miranda's waist before leaning in to collar bone. Even though the redhead was taller than her XO, the former's heels made it much easier to reach. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth; as if taking in Miranda's scent.
The perfume she wore was just a seductive as the woman herself. It sent Shepard's mind into a tailspin. Here this perfect woman before her was trying to comfort her in a time of need, and all she could think about was the smooth, soft, warm skin underneath of that body suit. It wasn't fair that she Miri had to be so constricted by the offending material. She breathed in through her nose one last time before leaning away from her greatest temptation.
"Thanks Miri. I really appreciate it." Shepard wiped away the rest of her tears and walked toward the elevator, leaving her second in command at a loss for words.
As the lift doors closed, each woman looked at the other with a longing in their eyes. A longing that they knew they shouldn't act upon, but as they always say, we always want what we can't have.