A Note Before the Shitshow: This story is like two years old but I thought I would post it here as well. It's stupid, but were you expecting anything else given the series it's focused on? Oh, and I did change the title. It was known as something else on another site but I honestly forgot. I like this title more.

A Popuko Werewolf in Tokyo

The sun was coming in through the slats of the blinds that covered the window. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to wake Popuko, who was already annoyed. She rolled over onto her side, feeling something dragging against the blanket as she did so. It was enough to make her eyes fly open and she rolled over onto her other side, feeling something drag against the material again. Whatever it was felt itchy and gross, and it tugged on her skin. Maybe it was just a sheet that had bunched up weird, maybe it was just an awkward blanket that had been thrown in the wash with too much softener and she had been too tired at the time to notice…

She kept rolling back and forth. Left side, right side. Left side, right side. It kept stinging and pinching, rubbing the wrong way. Suddenly, it occurred to her – it could be bugs, lots of them. She threw the covers off, kicking them so that the blanket rumpled at the end of the bed and then fell off. She looked down at her legs, her vision slightly hazy from the panic – and for a second, all she could see was orange. A thousand orange insects crawling legs, so many bugs – it had to be centipedes, it had to be…!

She smacked her hand into her own leg so hard that she nearly gave herself a bruise. The sharp sensation rocked her back into her senses and Popuko rubbed her nose, squinting her eyes to get a better look at what she was actually dealing with. She reached out (her line of logic being: if I can't crush them, I will grab them) and grabbed a handful of whatever was on her leg. She could pull them off in fistfuls and send them swirling down the drain. She would clog the toilet with bugs and wouldn't that be a present for Pipimi when she woke up…

Another sharp tug. Popuko winced in pain and nearly grabbed again before she realized what was happening.

It wasn't bugs. It was hair. So much of it. Her arms were covered in hair, thick and orange and coarse. Her legs were covered in the same thick carpeting of hair, some if it went all the way up her chest and some down to the backs of her hands.

She raised one hand, stroking her fingers over her chin and – yes, there was even a sprinkling of hairs there too. She lifted up her shirt – it was all over her tummy, leading a happy trail all the way down to her…she slipped her thumb underneath the line of her panties and lifted that up. Yep, yep. She had it there too. Great.

She dropped everything and threw herself back down against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling in despair. She didn't know when it happened, but clearly, somewhere over the course of the night she had completed her transformation and become a werewolf.

"Pipimi! Pipimi!" She sat up. Pipimi, who had been sleeping on the couch for some reason, was startled awake by the shriek. She sat up, looking at Popuko blearily.

"What is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. She took one look at her friend and nearly choked to death on her own spit. "What?!"

"Pipimi, look at me!" Popuko howled despairingly. "I'm covered in hair! I just woke up like this! Do you know what it means?"

"I'm not sure I want to," Pipimi said, not blinking once.

"I'm a werewolf!"

Pipimi, finally deciding now would be a good time to move her eyes, blinked. "Yes," she said as if all the pieces were finally falling together into place. "Yes, you are."

"What am I going to do?" Popuko threw her legs over the side of the bed and slumped. "I look like a monster."

"Sure," Pipimi agreed. "But don't worry, I bet we can make a ton of money off this."

Popuko's mouth fell open, but she didn't have a response until, "Eh?"

"If we can prove you're a werewolf, we can make a ton of money." Pipimi stood up, actually getting excited the more she thought about it. "Think about it! If we can prove the existence of a werewolf, there'd be books, talk shows…maybe they'd make you prime minister! Doesn't being 'first prime minister lady werewolf Popuko' sound nice?!"

"I mean, yeah, duh." Popuko reached up to scratch her head. Her entire body itched. "But how are we going to go about proving it?"

"Well, we have to run some tests," Pipimi said. "And they have to be very scientific, irrefutable proof."

"What kind of proof?" Popuko was already wondering what she would have to go through. Maybe something to do with running naked through the woods. Or eating a deer with her bare teeth.

"Well, let's see." Pipimi reached out and grabbed hold of Popuko's face, pinching her cheeks and pushing out her lips to try and get a look at her teeth. When that didn't work, she stretched her mouth wider, shoving one thumb in and one forefinger, prying them apart. "We have to see if you have monstrous canines." She squinted, sliding her finger back and forth between Popuko's lips and her gums. "Nope! Normal teeth."

"What next?" Popuko asked, still talking around Pipimi's fingers.

"We'll have to see if your hair grows really fast." Pipimi was already darting out of the room, going towards the bathroom where she grabbed a pink razor. She thought about shaving cream, but werewolves had really thick skin and probably didn't need it. She ran back into the room, brandishing the razor, and Popuko held out her arm before she could really think about what they were trying to do.

Pipimi dragged the razor across a patch and shaved it away. She left behind only a trace of bare skin, all red from the razor. She sat back on her heels, her eyes wide, not moving away from the spot. Popuko stood completely still. As if that was somehow part of it.

Nothing happened. They sat there for twenty minutes.

"Okay," Pipimi said. "So it doesn't grow super fast."

"It grew super fast last night – wait!" Popuko held up her hands. "People are always normal until the full moon…"

"Damn it, you're right." Pipimi stroked her chin. "When's the next full moon?"

The full moon wasn't for weeks if the internet was to be believed. And honestly, they couldn't wait that long. They had to get answers now. Thankfully, the internet was also there to provide other things they needed. They managed to get their hands on a full moon backdrop and turned off all the lights, not a single speck of light to spoil the mood.

"Do you think this is going to work?" Pipimi asked.

"I'm FEELING IT!" Popuko could already feel her heart pumping faster. Her animal side was taking over, at least that's what it felt like. She bared her completely normal teeth, letting out a growl that sounded more like a hacking cough before making her best attempt at a howl.

A stick whacked her on the nose. She made a face.

"Werewolves don't talk," Pipimi said. Popuko whined, hunching her shoulders.

"The next step is the silver test," Pipimi vanished behind the backdrop.

Popuko wanted to ask what the silver test was, but werewolves didn't talk. She got distracted by her tail. Her non-existent tail, but it was going to be there eventually, and so she was sure she had to get used to the idea of having one. She got down on all fours and started chasing it. Now she was really started to get into it…

Something sparked behind the curtain, and there was a loud pop.

Popuko sat in the hospital bed, a bandaged wrapped around her chest. Right where the bullet went through – otherwise she was perfectly fine, and it missed the important organs.

The curtain swept aside, and Pipimi walked in, looking grave. "I have bad news," she said. "The doctor says you aren't a werewolf."

"Damn it!" Popuko slammed her fist into the bed. "I guess that's why the silver bullet didn't kill me but, whatever, I guess I'm thankful."

"Yeah," Pipimi barely seemed to be paying attention as she leaned forward, squinting. She lifted her hand and started to point at something she noticed, something small and red and disgusting…

She put her hands against her face, looking shocked. "You've got a pimple!" She shouted.

"Thanks for announcing it to the whole world."

"Your hairy body! Your mood swings! It all makes sense! And that half centimeter growth in your chest size…Pop-chan, you've hit puberty!"

Popuko's eyes got wider than dinner plates. "You mean…! I'm a woman now?! Like Marilyn Monroe?!"

Pipimi nodded, too enthusiastic to even speak.

"I'M A WOMAN!" Popuko yelled, nearly jumping off the hospital bed. Behind them, down the hall, a machine flatlined – the digital squeal barely heard over an irritated nurse who screamed.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP KID!"