Gumball Watterson probably shouldn't be trying on his mom's clothes. He'd done it a few times before, of course. That time he wore his mom's wedding dress to school and when he and Darwin impersonated their parents at that parent's meeting once. But this was different. This time Gumball didn't exactly have a good excuse. When he slipped on an old, lavender colered skirt, Gumball wasn't planning to impersonate his mother. When he grabbed the pretty white blouse that went with it he knew there were other clothes he could wear, one's that belonged to him. Well he was just wearing them cause they were girly and he couldn't exactly fit Anais's clothes. That wasn't weird, right? Gumball had worn feminine clothing before, you know. When he tried out for cheer practice he put on that skirt...it just...he was feeling a bit...insecure. It made him feel more confident. More comfortable in his own skin. His mom didn't seem that weirded out back then. Or...did she? She brushed past it but she immediately assumed he was embarrassed to be in the skirt. Did it look embarrassing? Gumball gazed at himself in the mirror. The clothes were a bit too big for him but there was a feeling of warmth and happiness seeping through his chest anyway, one that he couldn't shake. He didn't feel embarrassed. What about that time he and Darwin did the Baby Anais commercial? He wore a skirt and a wig with a flower then and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Yeah, part of it was that the commercial called for big smiles but it was genuine anyway. And Darwin was doing it with him so it wasn't weird at all for Gumball to wanna wear girl clothes! But then again...Darwin hadn't wanted to...it was just for the bit. Darwin hadn't been sad to take the wigs off like Gumball was. He hesitated in front of the mirror, conflicted. Gumball loved the skirt. He loved the way he looked in it no matter how loosely it fit. Gumball felt good, comfortable, and just...right. He just wished he could dress like that all the time. He just wished he knew if his family would think it's weird.
When he wore mom's wedding dress to school, only Anais knew the truth, and she didn't approve on him wearing it. He was a liar, that's what she thought. It was implied, at least. Gumball felt like crying. It was lying, wasn't it? Not wearing the dress itself, but telling everyone he was a girl? Letting them believe it all day? Gumball had successfully tricked everyone and Anais had been right to call him out for it. So why hadn't Gumball listened? It wasn't just for the power of everyone liking him. Gumball had wanted to be a pretty girl because being a girl felt so right.
Even when being a girl was hard it felt amazing. Gumball remembered announcing to his family "I'm so glad I'll never be a woman" after one day as one, but was that really true? Gumball hadn't liked the way men condescended him and Gumball hadn't liked being held back in the workplace but when Gumball looked in the mirror that morning he felt that same warm fuzzy feeling and whenever someone had called him "miss" or "ma'am" or otherwise used feminine pronouns for Gumball it felt so right. Different from how it normally felt for people to talk about him. Better. Even when they weren't saying good things! An insult that used female pronouns for him felt better than any compliment that could be given using masculine ones.
And Gumball grabbed his brown wig and some of his mom's makeup and put them on. And his hair was a bit skewed and the makeup was messy and the skirt barely fit but he felt beautiful. And looking in the mirror Gumball saw a young girl, and that was so different but it was so so familiar at the same time. And Gumball decided that the girl in the mirror couldn't be a boy, so Gumball decided that as long as that girl in the mirror existed then she'd be just that. A girl. She. She. She. Gumball tried out the pronoun and she looked into the mirror at herself and nearly squealed at the excitement rising in her chest. Nobody could hear her private thoughts, and if Gumball was a girl in her mind what does it matter? And eventually she'd have to take off the skirt and the wig and the makeup because eventually her family would come home and she couldn't tell them this. But for the moment she giggled and fawned over herself in the mirror, twirling a few times, and she wondered to herself if anyone else in the world felt this way.
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