Dean could see the panicked look in your eyes.
"Y/n? Y/n?" he was lightly shaking your shoulder, but that only caused you to go into more of a panic.
"Please stop," you sobbed. "I can't take it Belphegor, please," you were full-on crying now.
"Y/n it's me, honey… it's just me," Dean said concerned, he had tried to wrap himself around you. But you had scooted away from him towards the headboard of your bed, still crying and hyperventilating.
Dean took a step back and took in your cowering form. In a split second, he rushed out of the room to get Sam. He burst into Sam's room huffing and puffing (and blowing his house down, ha humor).
"Sam! Y/n is awake!" he says between huffs. "She got scared when she saw it was me *huff* and I need you *huff* to *huff* help her please," he lets out a defeated sign as Sam rushed out of bed and to you. Dean in all his exhaustion falls to the floor and leaned his back against the cool tile.
'This is all my fault' he thought to himself. 'How could I let this happen'.
Sam had slowed down by the time he had reached your room as to not scare you more. He peered in and saw that you had your legs drawn up to your chest, and your head buried between them trying to calm your breathing.
"Y/n?" Sam asked quietly.
"This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real," you had been telling yourself it wasn't real since Dean left.
"Y/n, it's me, Sam." you looked up and were met with the caring hazel eyes of your friend… brother even. But you knew it was too good to be true.
"Please stop Belphegor, I can't take it anymore," you sobbed. "Just kill me already," you whispered to yourself.
"Y/n he's gone now, Dean and I got rid of Belphegor, he can't hurt you anymore," Sam said.
"Your safe now," he said.
For the first time since you had woken up, you had actually taken the time to look around your room. It was just how you remembered it. All of your things cluttered the space, along with all of Dean's. You looked back to Sam who had stepped further into the room. From what you remember from your time with Belphegor, he had never really used Sam you plague you with nightmares. You gingerly got up out of bed and walked over to wrap your arms around Sam. Sam carefully wrapped himself around you, he could feel your spine and every rib under the Dean's baggy shirt he put you in to get you out of your old ones.
You sobbed into his shirt, but he didn't care. Sam just wanted to make you feel safe.
"I can't do it," you whispered into his chest. "I can't face Dean, not after all this," you said softly.
"Y/n, what happened?" Sam asked softly, "You know you can tell me anything right?"
You turned your head to the side so that you could hear Sam's heartbeat. But in doing so you found yourself staring at a photo of you and Dean you had placed on the top of your bookshelf. You looked so happy together. But how could it ever be the same?
"Y/n?" Sam's voice brought you back to reality. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"Not yet," you whispered back. You couldn't deal with all that happened just yet. It was too fresh in your mind. The only thing you could do now got through life until the day it doesn't hurt anymore.
"Can I go back to my room?" you asked Sam.
"What do you mean Y/n? You're already in your ro-"
"No Sam, my old room. Just for a little while," You interrupted him.
"Ya," he huffs. "That's fine, just let me go tell Dean." He lets go of you and leaves the room.
You plop back down on the bed and take a look at all of the memories you and Dean had made over the years. You pulled open the desk drawer to find tooth from the first vamp you had killed together, a picture he took of you from the first time he took you and Baby out for a drive to view the sunset, and the necklace he got for you for valentines day last year. You took it off right after he died because it hurt you too much to look at it. You close the drawer again and stood up to start packing some of your clothes to take back to your room.
Sam had gone back to his room to find Dean on the floor with his head in his hands.
"Dean?" Sam asked. Dean barely even lifted his head to reply to his brother.
"Y/n is going to be moving back to her old room for a little while," Sam said hesitantly. "She just needs some time to process what happened this past year," he stated.
"Alright," it barely came out as a whisper. "Whatever she needs," he says.
"I also think it might be smart to avoid her for a little bit beca-"
"Sam she's my whole world!" Dean had jumped to his feet and was standing inches from his brother's face.
"Or at least she was…" Dean trailed off, turning away from Sam. "She's scared of me, isn't she. That stupid son-of-a-bitch Belphegor must have used her relationship with me to mess with her mind." Dean was pacing around the room now. Sam was watching his brother, he could see just how exhausted he was, dark circles under his eyes, same clothes from days ago, he hadn't showered in days. The sound of a thud brought Sam back to reality. They both walked over to the doorway to find you clinging to the door frame for dear life.
"Y/n!" Sam exclaimed. He was right over at your side to hold you up.
"Sam, I'm fine, I can move on my own." You grit your teeth in pain.
"Y/n, you should really be in bed," Sam says concerned.
"Sam I just want to have a warm shower, I haven't in months," you say.
You can tell Dean is hiding in the other room, it breaks your heart to think that someone you used to love so much can cause you so much pain now. You push yourself off of the wall and start to make your way towards the showers, using the walls along the way to keep you steady.