Chapter 10: Home

"No, please…" her voice was faint and she blinked at her captor through tears. She looked at the knife in her hand and shook her head. The blade was sheathed in the blood that'd already run down its hilt and onto her fingers. They glistened in a sheen of warm red and her eyes slid down to the man at her feet. His eyes were vacant, his skin pallid, though his blood was not yet cold.

Horror raced through Queenie at the sight of her beloved lying dead. Blood coated Jacob's neck and his white shirt where it'd run from the knife wound in the front of his throat. Her eyes stung with fresh tears and her throat clenched, muffling a sob of horror.

"I told you what would happen if you defied me."

She blinked at Grindelwald, who stood on the other side of the small room with his back to the door. His face was smug and he raised and eyebrow at her tears before he continued.

"And we are not finished, Miss Goldstein."

He stepped to the side and revealed Newt, on his knees with his hands bound behind his back. His face was bloody, his right eyebrow swollen, and his shirt in tatters, splattered with blood and mud. He'd been gagged and at the sight of her, he cried out through the rough cloth. She understood nothing, but his eyes were wide with panic and pain—and they spoke volumes: he was devastated, terrified. He'd told her to stay away and she'd ignored him—had been so determined that she'd put them both in danger. Guilt gripped her heart and she stepped towards him, unable to resist the desperate pull towards him.

"Silence," Grindelwald whispered, looking down at the man beside him. He pointed his wand at the magizoologist and pierced her with predatory eyes. She froze mid-step.

"You know what you must do," he repeated to her. "Kill him."

Her heart clenched and she shook her head. "No. I won't…I can't." She looked back at Jacob's body and felt bile rise in her throat. "Not again."

Grindelwald gave an agitated sigh and looked down at Newt. The magizoologist glared back at him, defiant. Grindelwald cocked his head to the side, considering, and then turned back to her.

"Easy as it would be to do it myself, I have a greater vision for you. You see, Miss Goldstein, you will learn to obey me, as your sister has. You will learn that it is pointless to defy my requests…doing so will bring you nothing but suffering. You, and those you hold dear."

My sister? Wait, Teen's here? Queenie thought. But that couldn't be right. She'd fled Grindelwald's acolytes, helped the Ministry! What was going on? She wanted to ask…to demand what was happening, where they were and what he'd done with Tina, but instead, almost of its own accord, her face scowled and she added venom to her voice, "I'll never take orders from you!"

Her eyes scanned the ground, seeking her wand. If she could just find it…Where had it landed?! Queenie's attention caught on her clothes. A white blouse, ruddy with dirt and spattered with blood, black trousers and sensible black boots. Not her clothes at all, but those of her sister. Queenie's mind spun with confusion, but Grindelwald didn't notice and continued.

"You will. I will break you apart…piece by piece. I will strip you down to the barest heartstrings of your soul and when I am done, you will be begging to do my bidding."

"Fat chance," Queenie spat. Only it wasn't her voice she heard, but Tina's.

He raised his wand again. "I hear from your sister that you fear losing control." He gave a wicked smile and raised his wand. "Let's see how truthful our dear Queenie was, shall we?

Wait, Queenie's mind reeled. But I'm–

"Imperio!" Cold, clammy hands slid over her mind, seizing her control. No! Not again! Tina's voice cried in her mind.

She couldn't breathe, couldn't move, under the stifling force of his will. Her heart dropped into her stomach, hopeless and terrified, and she felt the clench of her throat as she suppressed the urge to cry. Grindelwald didn't want her to cry. No, he had something else in mind. Holding the knife between two fingers, she unbuttoned the sleeves of her blouse and pushed them up over her elbows. Then gripping the knife tightly again, she laid the flat end on her left forearm, in the crease of her elbow. Pressing down slightly, she tilted it to start a shallow incision, then rotated it to run parallel with her arm as she slowly slid the knife towards her wrist. Pain shrieked through her as the skin came away in a thin, clean slice. It couldn't have been more than a centimetre wide, but she felt her stomach roll as blood surged from the bare strip of exposed tissue and ran down the sides of her arm. The pain was excruciating; her entire forearm was on fire, and a cloud of dizziness surrounded her. She blinked to keep from doubling over to vomit. Grindelwald didn't want her to do that. No, he wanted her to keep going, down, down, down her arm. And so she did.

Queenie's mind screamed to make it stop, to drop the knife, but her hand wouldn't comply. She felt nothing but the raw fire in her arm and her ears began to ring with a high-pitched shrieking. She thought she heard Newt screaming, but the sound was muffled as if he was far away or underwater. When she reached her wrist, the thin strip of skin fell away… but Grindelwald wasn't done. 'No, I'm just getting started,' he whispered gleefully in her mind.

Still in control, he used her fingers to rotate the knife and jab it into the soft flesh at the base of her thumb. It wasn't too deep, but it ached, turning into a fiery pain as she moved the knife down each of her fingers, cutting a bloody line along the length of each. The sensitive nerves in her palm and fingertips shrieked in agony… and every part of her being yearned to stop this. Again, she commanded her hands to stop, but Grindelwald was in charge and she was powerless to do anything other than what he wished. Under his will, she transferred the knife to her bleeding hand and went to work on her uninjured arm. The shredded flesh of her left hand stung and ached under the pressure of the knife in her grip and the sensation made her vision swim. Dizziness became a sea of nausea and she rocked on her feet, now certain she was going to vomit. But Grindelwald didn't want her to, so she righted her stance and returned her attention to the knife. As it slid into the skin of her other arm, exposing the sensitive tissue underneath, the pain doubled, a twisting, shrieking burning…and suddenly, it wasn't just her arm, wasn't just her bloody hand. Her legs, the skin of her chest and back, all of it was screaming…all of it was raw. Her entire body was on fire, as if her skin was being slowly flayed with a white-hot knife. Then a fresh wallop of pain roared through her and exploded behind her eyes, making her head ache. The room began to spin but even as she blinked to suppress the wash of nausea and bite down on the scream of pain pressing against the back of her throat, she continued to move the knife up her arm. Because he wanted her to.

It was the most excruciating pain Queenie had ever experienced. Her entire body was in agony and she felt hopeless, powerless, impotent. There was nothing she could do but suffer. No way to fight. No way to escape. Nothing but the sensation of her body, raw and burning. She couldn't…she… it was too much… too–

She screamed. It was a strangled, raw thing that wrenched itself from her chest before she realised she'd given up. Satisfied, Grindelwald released the Imperious curse at last. No longer held up by his will, her knees gave way and she welcomed the cold floor on her cheek a moment later. Her head hit the ground and the ache intensified to a thump. Tears streamed from her eyes and she blinked through them, looking for Newt, seeking her anchor, the one person who could surely end this. But he wasn't there. Instead, she saw herself, standing beside Grindelwald. Her blond curls were perfectly coiffed and the gold silk of her favourite dress shimmered in the light of the room. The Queenie before her leaned in to Grindelwald's side and smiled up at him with adoration, oblivious to the suffering of the trembling woman on the floor.

Confusion cut through the misery in Queenie's mind. No! That's not me! This is all wrong!

Queenie's eyes snapped open to the darkness of Newt's bedroom. She was panting and ripples of pain from the dream ran through her as her conscious mind returned. Her hands immediately went to her arms, smooth and warm and strong. Queenie let out a slow breath of relief as the painful phantoms still dancing across her flesh and behind her eyes faded. A dream. Nothing but a dream.

A whimper from beside her drew her attention and she turned her head to find Tina on her back on the other side of Newt's double bed, flushed and frowning in her sleep. Tears were streaming down her sister's cheeks and she was biting a trembling lower lip so hard that the skin around it was white. Her breathing was short and fast, broken up by choppy whimpers that caught in her throat. Queenie reached out with her mind—and felt the pain of the dream seize her again. She instantly recoiled from Tina's mind.

Tina's dream! She'd been in Tina's dream, watching it all from her sister's eyes.

"Teen, wake up!" Queenie whispered. She pushed herself onto her knees and gently shook her sister. "It's okay Teenie. It's just a dream."

"No…" Tina whined and twisted away from her, still caught in the nightmare.

"Come on Teenie! Wake up!" When Tina tried to push Queenie's hands off her shoulders, the blonde grabbed her sister's wrists, determined to pull her back to consciousness.

"Stop!" Tina's voice rose an octave. She wrenched her arms from Queenie's grasp and wrapped them around herself. Her eyes squeezed shut, her mind still deep within the nightmare. Queenie's heart broke at the sight of her sister so vulnerable and afraid—so unlike the decisive fighter she'd grown up with—and she gripped her upper arms again and squeezed.

"Tina. Wake up!" she cried, louder this time. Fear uncurled itself in her chest.

"No!" Tina shrieked. She threw her arms out and a wave of power burst from her hands. Caught off guard, Queenie was swept off the bed and into the opposite wall. Pain sped through her shoulders and the back of her head at the contact and she hit the floor with a dull thud, too shocked to plant her feet on the way down. Her arms flailed, hit something hard and a moment later, she heard the crash of the wash stand jug hitting the ground beside her head.

Queenie lay crumpled on the ground with her head thumping in pain, too shocked to move and breathing hard as her heart raced. Tina had never hurt her before, would never hurt her, and she fought to suppress the panicky fear that had risen in response to her sister's outburst of wandless magic.

"Queenie?" Tina's voice was frantic and Queenie heard a grunt of pain and bare feet on the wooden floor. A warm hand on her back drew her attention.

"Queenie, I'm so sorry!"

The blonde blinked slowly as Tina helped her sit up.

"Are you okay?" Tina whispered fiercely, pushing her sister's hair back from her face so she could see her eyes clearly. Concern radiated from her and washed over Queenie like warm air from a store entrance in winter.

"Queenie, I'm so so sorry. Are you hurt?" With trembling hands, Tina checked her baby sister for injuries. Although the only casualty she could see was the smashed wash basin, Queenie said nothing, looking at her with mournful eyes, clearly still shaken, her whole body tense.

Tina put hand on her cheek and one on her shoulder.

"Queenie, honey, please talk to me. I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I had a nightmare. I didn't know it was you—"

"Is that what it felt like?" Queenie whispered. Her eyes were filled with tears when she met Tina's confused gaze. "The torture curse. What it felt like in your dream, with the knife…was that what the torture curse felt like…in the garden and yesterday?"

Queenie saw the truth in her sister's eyes for a heartbeat before Tina looked away, furiously suppressing a sudden urge to cry. How did you know? she thought.

"I was in your dream, Teen. Like when we slept close together as kids an' I heard what you dreamed. I was looking outta your eyes. I saw Newt…and Jacob… and me. I felt Grindelwald's curse and the knife…your skin" She paused and took hold of Tina's hand, turning it over so she could trace the uninjured surface of her sister's palm with her finger. "Grindelwald, he–he didn't make you do that—"

"No." Tina said quickly. "The curse doesn't need physical pain. It was all in my head."

"And me… Teen, you don't think I'd ever let you suffer like that, do you?"

"No!" Tina said quickly. "No, of course not! It was just a dream Queenie. I know you wouldn't ever let that happen."

"Good," Queenie breathed. She tugged Tina's arm and drew her sister into a hug. "That ain't ever gonna happen to you again, I promise," she whispered into the soft brown hair against her cheek.

Tina swallowed, her throat tight, and squeezed her baby sister against her. "Can you forgive me?" she whispered.

"Always," Queenie replied without hesitation. "I love you Teenie. We'll get you through this. Me and Jacob and Newt."

A sob of relief in Tina's throat and she found herself unable to speak. Instead, she shifted to kiss the top of Queenie's head and blinked as fresh tears rose in her eyes. Queenie felt her sister's shame and remorse, but they were drops in the ocean of love for her, an ocean that swirled with affection and gratitude for Queenie's forgiving heart and the comfort she offered so freely. She tightened her hold on Tina, sniffing back the start of her own tears for her older sister, her fierce and brilliant protector. Tina began to cry in earnest then, quiet sobs that left her shaking in her sister's arms. They remained that way on the floor for the next few minutes as Tina loosed the pain and fear of the past few days from her heart. When her tears finally slowed and she was able to speak again, she pulled her little sister up and back to bed, where she sat against the headboard with Queenie's head in her lap. She sighed as stroked her sister's golden hair, finally feeling peace settle over her wrung-out heart. Queenie's breathing slowed as she drifted back to sleep and Tina felt as if they were children once more—her and Queenie, her darling, daring, delightful baby sister, who saw good where Tina could not and who would stand by her. Only now that they were adults, they had Newt and Jacob to help them and no matter what the future held, that was all they needed.

"I love you Queenie Bee," Tina whispered. "Thank you for coming home to me."

A/N Thanks for coming along for the ride my lovelies! I've got something else in the pipeline but I think this is it for A Change of Mind for now. This was never meant to go beyond one chapter and it was your encouragement and suggestions that kept it going for this long. Thank you for your positive vibes!

-HG xxx 😊