DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ICARLY!
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This chapter is a little different, so enjoy! :D
chapter | nineteen
Freddie's POV
I'm at subways working my night shift. I've been giving everyone their sandwiches and chips if needed. Everyone has been rude ever since I started two hours ago. I swear one day I'm going to punch one of the customers just to bring my anger out on them for complaining like little bitches.
That's not the only thing that's on my mind right now. What's on my mind is Sam and how we operate our friends with benefits. I'm sure she enjoys what we're doing, but I have a feeling that she's worried about something else that I can't know about.
If she has something on her mind, then she would tell me. Wow, I'm such a hypocrite. I'm not telling her what's been on my mind...it's too hard to share, and I know I can talk to her about anything. But I don't know how I should feel about it.
We've been stressed out for a while; with finals, the incident at the store, our sex humping. Everything. I don't know if Sam feels stressed about this as well, I've known her for so long I know she's keeping something from me. She's been quiet all day because she did her last minute studying for her math final and she hasn't talked to me.
I shouldn't be worried, but I am.
I should be worried about myself.
"Freddie!"
I heard someone whisper beside me and I turn my head to my right, looking at Gibby nodding his head to the front for me to look at what's across from me.
I look back in front and saw a woman staring at me with a glare look on her wrinkled face. "Can I have my sandwich, please?" She spat.
I glared back at her with a twitch in my eye and replaced it with an innocent, fake, smile on my face. "I'm sorry, what did you order?" I asked.
After the lady had told me her order, I made her a big ass sandwich and gave her her meal. She side glanced me and doesn't say thank you before walking away to the cashier.
"That bitch," I muttered.
"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Gibby asked as he neatens the condiments.
"Nothing," I replied quickly. Shit, now he won't leave me alone.
"Nope, something's wrong. C'mon," he pats my shoulder and walks past me.
"What?"
"C'mon. We're taking a five-minute break." He takes his plastic gloves off and walks to one of the empty chairs, sitting down in a seat.
I look behind me to see if our boss is watching us and he's not in the room. I take my gloves off and walk over to Gibby, sitting down across from him.
"Why are we taking a break?" I asked.
"Because something is on your mind and I want to know what's up." He replied, curling his hands on the table.
Should I tell him about the Sam situation? Because if I don't say anything, he'll keep asking until he gets what he wants. And I know he gets annoyed when that happens.
I guess I have someone else to talk to about this.
"It's really complicated, Gib." I shook my head.
"Well, what is it? Maybe I can help. Just let it out like a band aid. Just put it out there."
"I'm having sex with Sam." I blurted.
Oh my god, I just said that out loud...
Gibby stares at me with eyes like a deer seeing headlights. He doesn't say anything for a while as I'm looking at him concerned.
Is he alright?
"You...you're what?" He asked.
I sighed and cleared my throat. "I'm...having sex with Sam. But it's a friends with benefits kind of thing, it's nothing serious." I defended.
"Dude, you're having sex with Sam Puckett aka your best friend!" He exclaimed.
"Shh! Why don't you tell the whole world about my sex life?" I snapped.
"I'm sorry...but really? How did this happen? When did this happen? What did you guys do? Did you go doggy style, missionary, cowboy? What?"
I punched his shoulder, and he winced, rubbing his arm. "Gibby, you're asking too many questions," I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm not telling you what we're doing. And why we're doing this is kinda personal in Sam's case," I finished.
"Is it that bad?" He asked being concerned. Sam and Gibby don't hang out or talk much. Sometimes Sam, Gibby, and I would spend time to watch movies, play video games and all that. Even though they're not close friends, Gibby cares about Sam as he would care for a friend.
"...yeah, it's what every girl don't want to experience in their life," I said, looking down on the wooden table.
"What, did she have her period and was craving for it?"
"Gib!" I said surprised. Oh my god, he doesn't understand anything about women. "No, that's not why. It's just not for me to say, alright?"
He sighed and nodded his head as him letting off of that concept. "Alright. So... how is she in bed?"
I looked at his eyes and gave him a nasty glare. He responds by leaning back in his chair a little and sticks his lip out. "Don't stare at me like that."
"It's none of your business, man." I sighed.
"You love it, don't you?" He smirks.
"Shut up," I stood up from my seat and slapped Gibby behind his head. "We have to go back to work."
"Owe..." he rubs his head and stands up, walking behind me behind the sandwich station. We get new gloves and put them on, waiting for new customers to walk in the store. "But seriously, Freddie. Are you doing...what you're doing with Sam because you just want sex or do you like her?"
That question made me stop what I was doing and snapped my head at him as he picks up a lettuce in one place.
"Why would you ask that?" I muttered.
"Because you wouldn't have your 'friends with benefits' thing if there was a reason behind it. And knowing you, my weird, nerdy friend, you have an explanation on why you're doing it." He answered without looking at me.
"I'm doing this because we want to. It's not like I'm forcing her to have sex with me. We're doing it because of some reasons and what we're doing doesn't have any romantic emotions at all. I don't love her, Gibby."
He turns around and faces me, leaning his hand on the counter.
"What?" I asked annoyed.
"Funny...I said like her. But for some reason, you said love her. I didn't ask if you loved her, did I?" He said giving me a knowing look.
"What?" I asked looking scared.I don't like where this is going...
"You love her don't you?"
Wait...did I say love?
It's impossible; I know I don't like Sam that way. However, my heart is beating so fast when I think about her. It's been doing that as long as I've known her, but I don't know...do I like Sam? She's my best friend and we've been friends since diapers, but I don't like her.
"No, I like her as a friend," I explained.
"Mhm." He said not believing me. "I see the way you look at her all the time, man. When she's around, you have that gleaming look in your eyes, and you smile the way I've never seen you do with other girls. When you look at chicks, you give them that "hey dude what's up?" memo; not with Sam. You give her something better than that. AND I've seen how you're so gentle with her...just admit, dude."
Does he stalk me or something?
Gah, I don't know what to think...this is confusing. I mean, I love her big blue eyes, her curly blonde hair, that adorable smile of hers, her aggressiveness towards me and some other people, her sweet side, how she doesn't care what people think of her, how's she's an eater.
Everything.
She's the weirdest yet sweetest girl I've ever met.
I don't want her to get hurt in any way, so I have to protect her the best I can. I want her to know that she has dreams she wants to achieve if she just believed in herself like I say to her every day. I don't like when she cries or is angry, I want to make her beautiful smile come back to life again so she can be happy. She doesn't deserve sadness...she deserves being loved by a man who knows how to make her feel good; and not by sex. In a romantic, caring way.
She deserves to have someone who won't cheat on her behind her back, comfort her when she's upset, hold her softly out of love, won't make her cry on purpose. Also, would give her flowers randomly, would say he loves her every day, would hold her hand in public, and would protect her from danger.
Just someone who is old-fashioned.
She probably has a list of her own, but I know somewhere in that list, she wants half of what I've just mentioned.
Sam deserves to be treated with respect, she's a beautiful girl, and she could get any guy who would fit in that list. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be right for the job because we're just friends...
If I didn't love her, I wouldn't be thinking about her like this. When I look at other girls, they're not like Sam... she's different. And it makes sense because I know her more than anyone else, and I can tell her anything. She doesn't mind if she listens to what I have to say every time.
Even if we weren't doing our fuck buddy system, I would always be by her side no matter the cause, and I will never give up or hurt her in any way.
In that case...I can't lie to myself about what I have to admit.
I'm in love with her...
"I knew it!"
"Shut up, Gibby!"
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