I honestly believed I'd get him out of my system. Even when I told Garrus that we could continue our little fling, enjoy one another on the ship when we needed it, I figured that once I got busy, I'd forget about him.

In the last week, I've been busy as hell. It's taken a lot of effort trying to get a crew involving a Krogan, a Quarian, and a Turian settled. We've had multiple short missions to get everyone acquainted and do a couple favors for the N7 squad, which there always seem to be more of. I haven't had time to settle in with Garrus, and I keep waiting to forget about it.

Instead, I've had a week of fitful nights and almost no sleep. My vibrator, my hand, and the little porn I've dared to look up on the ship's extranet have been virtually useless. More than once, I've almost invited Garrus up to my quarters, but I feel like this ship has eyes and ears everywhere. I'm not quite so desperate that I want to risk getting caught...yet.

Garrus has only made things worse because he hasn't said one damn word about our little arrangement. If he's over this thing and I'm still pining...I'm gonna be pissed.

We talk every night when I make rounds. I have to leave him for last because we end up chatting for hours, about everything and nothing. We jab and flirt, of course, and I really enjoy it. Garrus is funny and intelligent and genuinely good company. We have a lot of common interests and even more to learn about each other. Very quickly, I come to see him as much a friend as a casual sex partner.

But, damn it, that doesn't mean I don't need to get laid.

Tonight, I have enough tension and wound up energy that I could explode. I decide to skip the paperwork I've been doing every night instead of eating dinner and join the crew in Mess Hall. If nothing else, maybe the idle chit chat and jokes will help me relax.

I step out of my quarters and find a much rowdier scene then I was expecting. Ashley Williams is standing on a chair in the middle of a crowd - it looks like the whole crew is here - gathering bets on her datapad.

"Anyone who doesn't take a Krogan for the win in hand-to-hand combat is an idiot," one of the engineers shouts from the table.

Sure enough, my own Krogan is standing on one side of the table, and he gruffs out a laugh at that.

"No way," Joker argues confidently. "You ever seen a Turian throw down? Krogan are big, but these guys are built to kill." The pilot is standing opposite Wrex and shoulder-to-shoulder with Garrus. The Turian has his arms crossed over his chest and is sinking back into one hip, the stance relaxed and confident.

And sexy as hell.

It's Kaidan who notices me first, everyone else too focused on the action here, but when he clears his throat, there's a pretty hilarious scurrying to pretend they're busy.

"No one leaves," I announce, keeping my voice calm. "What is going on here?" When no one answers me for a long moment, Wrex and Garrus not even looking away from each other, I turn to Tali who is leaning against the wall at the side of the room. "Tali?"

The Quarian makes a little squeak of surprise like she didn't even think I'd see her there. Even through her helmet, I can tell she's looking back and forth between Garrus and me. I've spent a good amount of time getting to know Tali down in Engineering, but so has Garrus.

I'm going to try and pretend that something feeling a whole helluva lot like jealousy doesn't settle in my gut, knowing that they're close.

"You can tell her, Tali. It's OK," Garrus assures her.

"Wrex and Garrus are going to spar in the Cargo Hold," she explains, the words exploding from her. "The rest of the crew are taking bets on who will win, who will draw first blood...that sort of thing."

"Oh. Well, then what's the under over on whether or not the two of you rip right through the hull of my ship?" I ask the offenders, sinking back into my own hip now.

Wrex laughs at that. "Your Turian isn't that big, Shepard."

"And the Krogan isn't as tough as he thinks he is, Commander," Garrus returns calmly.

I frown, a little torn here. I know that things are different on ships for other species and that sparring is pretty common, but this isn't one of those ships. The Alliance is not a military that condones sparring matches between crew. I don't want to start a circus, and I definitely don't want the most dangerous members of my crew beating the crap out of each other.

"It's all good, Shep. It's a friendly thing," Joker assures me.

"Friendly?" I scoff at him, still unsure.

Garrus laughs a little this time. "He's right. I have nothing against Wrex. You'd know if I did."

Wrex grunts in what I think is agreement. "You put two alpha males in a small space, Shepard, we have to blow off the steam somehow. Better with established rules, right?"

"Hey! There are more than two alpha males on this ship!" Joker protests indignantly. I watch Kaidan and a few guys from engineering puff up a little only to make Garrus and Wrex actually laugh out loud at them, and some of the women have to hide laughter behind their hands. Joker shoves Garrus playfully, but I can see Kaidan get red instead, so I fight off my own laugh.

"There's an alternative, Shepard," Wrex informs me, finally taking his eyes off Garrus to cock his head at me. "Maybe you'd rather I spar with you."

It would be impossible to miss Garrus' response to that. He unfolds from the casual stance and leans toward Wrex just a little, baring his teeth briefly. I can feel my eyes widen even while a heat blooms in my core.

Since when am I into the whole protective guy thing?

Especially in public. Ashley and Kaidan exchange a glance from where they stand near me, but I choose to ignore them.

Wrex just chuckles and shrugs. "I won't touch your human, Turian."

"Oh, I know," Garrus answers, his voice in that low register I like so much but sounding far more deadly than I've ever heard him before.

I don't miss that Wrex has now called Garrus my Turian and referred to me as his human. Maybe the Krogan has noticed or knows more than he's letting on. Not that there's been any action to notice.

Maybe trying to keep these two from killing each other should be my priority.

I take a breath. "Fine. What are these established rules?"

"Stay away from my throat with your teeth," Wrex tells Garrus firmly.

"No biotics," Garrus replies. "Are we wearing gloves?"

"Probably should. Armor?"

"Definitely not."

"Fine, but I'm wearing a cup, and you don't come near my quad."

Garrus laughs. "I want nothing to do with your quad, trust me." That gets a laugh from the entire crew, and I can't help joining in. Wrex laughs as well and it does something to ease my concerns. They really do seem to have a handle on this, and they're thinking about it rationally, even if the idea seems crazy.

"I think that's it, pretty boy," Wrex teases him.

"Anything you want to add, Shepard?" Garrus asks, finally turning toward me and getting my OK. I hate that he's smiling at me because I like it - a lot.

"Yeah. It stops the moment that I say it stops, or I'll kick both your asses."

"There's a bet I'd take!" someone from the crew shouts, riling up the others.

Defeated and maybe even a little into the idea now, though I'll never admit it, I end up in the Cargo Hold with the rest of the crew ten minutes later. I send my bet to Ashley privately, and she gives me a proud thumbs up when it's received; I'm not stupid enough to miss out on a sure thing.

I try my best to be aware of the whole fight. I want to take in both of their styles fully and be able to engage in talks about the fight after. Instead, I can't tear my eyes off Garrus Vakarian.

He fights like a true predator, fast and graceful. He doesn't make a single move that isn't calculated, and I can see how aware he is of his opponent - so much that he predicts most of Wrex's moves before they're made. His body is strong and lithe, the way his muscles move through the intricate pattern of his plates makes me grateful that he decided to spar shirtless.

His body is beautiful, and within moments, I'm itching to get my hands on him. And I want my mouth on him even worse.

The Krogan gets in some hard blows; someone who weighs almost half a ton is bound to. Garrus gets in just as many and dodges many more. They're far more evenly matched than I think anyone could have predicted. Garrus draws first blood when he launches a fist into the Krogan's nose, but Wrex gets him back with a headbutt to the face.

I register how close that came to my sniper's eye and the very last thing I need is to have him impaired so, much to the disappointment of the crowd, I put an end to the action.

"Yeah, yeah, cry all you want," I wave off the complaints.

The crew disperses slowly, talking and laughing casually among themselves. Garrus and Wrex are easily included in the conversation and laughter, which makes me smile; I was worried about bringing such a blended crew together, but it's been working out so far.

A little violence goes a long way to promoting comradery, I guess.

I roll my eyes at the two warriors, still laughing and playfully shoving each other when most of the others are gone. "You both need to get upstairs and have Chakwas take a look at you." I expect them to tell me no, so I'm prepared when they both just laugh.

"Not a chance, Shepard. I'm getting a shower and getting to bed." With that settled, Wrex slaps Garrus hard on the back before walking past both of us and heading for the elevator.

"I don't need the doctor. I'm not even bleeding," Garrus assures me, motioning to his face.

It's true that he's not, but I watched him get hit hard a few times, so I'd rather see him get checked out. He can read the concern on my face, but instead of agreeing, Garrus glances around to make sure we're alone.

He moves toward me, sliding closer until I could touch him just by lifting my hand. I can barely breathe when the air between us sparks to life, pushing and pulling with palpable energy. My breath catches in my throat, and I have to swallow, awareness of him rushing in hard and hot.

"I wouldn't say no to an examination if you want to prove that to yourself," he murmurs in that damn deep voice of his.

I manage a laugh around my heart racing and press my hands into his chest. Garrus closes the distance between us boldly, and I want nothing more than to kiss him right there. So I throw caution to the wind and kiss my Turian right there in the middle of my ship's Cargo Hold.

I can feel his surprise, but he doesn't hesitate for long, hauling me up against him and kissing me properly for the first time in far too long. It ends far too soon, though. "I really don't want a hard-on when I go take a shower," he growls against my mouth.

"Screw the shower," I respond, still up on my tiptoes and leaning into him for balance when I kiss the end of his mandible gently. "Come upstairs."

Garrus chuckles softly at my eagerness and drops his head to my throat, tracing his tongue over the sensitive skin. His tongue is different than mine or what I'm used to, a little rougher in texture and definitely longer. Like the rest of his body, it's also scorching hot.

I can't help but think about how that tongue would feel in other places, and it makes me shudder.

"We'll get caught going upstairs. Everyone's upstairs right now."

"Then let's go somewhere else," I breathe, annoyed that he can tease me with rational thought while turning me on wildly. "It's been too long and a stressful week. I want you."

Garrus growls and kisses me hard enough to bruise my lips; I love it. "You drive me crazy."

The way his talons dig into my ass makes me feel like the crazy one, and my head is spinning when he shifts to grab my hands, tugging me along behind him. I expect him to move for the elevator, but my excitement soars when I realize he's taking me to the Mako instead.

I never realized before this moment how badly I've always wanted to be fucked in a tank.

"Couldn't have me in that rapid transit, so you're settling for the Mako?"

He laughs at my teasing but yanks me by the hand as he pulls open the backdoor so that I slam into his chest. Garrus might have just been laughing, but now he's dead serious, blue eyes piercing me and his whole body exuding danger.

"Being with you is the furthest thing from settling I have ever done," he informs me plainly. "And I will take absolutely any opportunity you give me to get inside you."

I yank him down by the front of his carapace and press my mouth to his, taking a moment to revel in the way he tastes. "I really need to find more opportunities for you to do that."

He smiles and motions for me to climb in ahead of him, which I do. Once inside, with the door shut, all the light and mechanical sound of the Cargo Hold is shut out so that we're cocooned in what would be peace if it wasn't raging with sexual tension, electricity surging between us.

Acting like he doesn't even notice it, Garrus leans against the door with one leg pulled up onto the seat between us. He drapes one arm over the back of the seat and reaches up to hold the handlebar with the other. With his shirt still off and probably because of my raging hormones, the man looks sexier right now than I have ever seen him before.

For once, I manage to catch him off guard when I dive back across the seat and onto him. I go for his throat, and Garrus groans, his hands fisting in my shirt and probably ripping through the fabric.

"Damn, Shepard. That mouth," he moans, lifting his hips to try and grind against me.

"Like it?" I press his hips back down with my hands and hold him against the seat, though he doesn't fight me.

"Yes. Especially when you're doing that - ah, Shepard." He kicks out restlessly when I nip the edge of a plate on his chest.

"I did some research," I inform him, moving my body slowly down his while I continue kissing over him. He shudders when my hand shifts to his waist and then throws his head back with a deep moan, a growl starting to rumble through him when my mouth joins my hands on that sensitive skin. "I found something Turian women can't do, and that most Asari women don't."

"Trust me," he pants, constantly squirming now. It's pretty damn heady to know I can make a man that just took on a Krogan squirm helplessly. "You do a lot of things for me that other women can't." I look up to catch his gaze while sliding my hand between us to grip his cock through his BDUs. "Yeah, like make me that hard. Spirits, you're killing me. Are you going to let me touch you?"

"No."

My answer is simple, but I feel him tense with confusion. He doesn't stop me from sliding my hands into the waistband of his pants and lift his hips to let me guide them down even though he's watching me warily now.

"You're going to need to be quiet. Ash, Wrex, or Tali could come back," I warn him.

"You wouldn't like it if I was quiet, and you know it."

I laugh, and he groans in relief as his cock springs free. I got a good look at his tool the last time we were together, but I'm a little sad it's so dark now that I plan on getting even closer acquainted. The ridges stand out, and I run my fingers over them very gently, the shaft twitching in response.

Garrus moves suddenly to grab my wrist and turns to look over his shoulder. "The elevator is descending...Williams, I think. You should get low."

I almost laugh but decide to keep it all a surprise instead. Garrus thinks I'm just complying when I slide off the seat and onto the floor of the Mako so that I can rest on my knees. His whole body jumps so hard when I grip his cock while he's not looking - and apparently not prepared - that I'm surprised the entire tank doesn't rock.

"Listen to me." I have to whisper, just in case, but I know Garrus can hear me with no problem. He doesn't dare to take his eyes off of me now. "You have to tell me if I do something that you don't like. It's OK. Just tell me."

"I'm...what? You're making me a little nervous here, Shepard," he admits, glancing quickly back over his shoulder through the tinted window. "She's leaving."

"Good."

I lean forward and keep my eyes on his while bringing my mouth down to kiss the head of his cock very gently. It might have been gentle, but Garrus nearly leaps off the seat entirely. His chest heaves for air, but he doesn't move away from me, so I test the waters and kiss it again. A loud growl erupts and then continues rumbling deep inside him. "Never had a blowjob, Vakarian?"

"A...what?"

I just smile and let him off the hook, running my tongue up the entire length and then swirling slowly around the head. Garrus practically whimpers as his hips leave the bench. I learned from the extranet and from the last time that Turian men do the lubricating, but I didn't expect that it would taste...kind of nice, actually. Sweet. Not unlike the rock candy I remember from my childhood.

I already wanted this desperately, but now I feel like I could devour him. So I do, letting my lips flow over the wide crest of his cock.

"Oh, fuck! Elle, damn it." His words flow into something my translator doesn't pick up, but I assume it's good since his entire body has gone slack.

I'd love to take my time, taste and tease him, but considering the lack of privacy, I settle for driving him wild and jerk his shaft with a tight grip while sucking and mouthing him. I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and find that Garrus had started to reach toward me but pulled back. I reach out and catch his wrist, guiding his hand to the back of my head.

He growls again, fisting my hair and catching on quickly as he uses the hold to adjust my pace until I recognize his breathing growing frantic.

"Fuck, that feels...you're amazing. Spirits, help me." I can't help a moan, turned on just by knowing how much I've turned him on, and his big body shudders. "Oh, do that again." I obey, and Garrus growls, hips jerking toward my mouth involuntarily.

I can't tell he's getting close when I feel him start to swell even more, but the way Garrus starts to shift his legs and hips restlessly is enough of a clue. "Shepard, I'm gonna...fuck, I need to cum. Please."

I want to earn his first orgasm from oral more than anything, so I jerk his shaft faster and cup his balls with my free hand to roll them gently. Four...interesting.

He lets out a stream of words I'm certain are swear words when he realizes I'm not stopping. His hand tightens in my hair, and I think he might try to pull me away, so I hollow my cheeks and suck - hard.

Garrus all but roars, calling out my name before he somehow swells even more and then explodes. The first burst of his cum is so thick that I almost choke, but I manage to hold out and swallow all of him. He moans softly and pants for air, looking intensely satisfied and so damn fine.

It's hard not to feel a little satisfied myself.

"You are a beautiful man," I tell him, kissing his hips before shifting forward to climb back up him. Garrus only moves to slip his arms around me and drop one hand to my ass when I straddle him.

"That was...totally absurd."

I laugh, but he cuts it off by kissing me. It's a little hot that he doesn't care I just swallowed his seed. I hold his face between my hands and return his passion. I can feel his cock throbbing between us still, as hard as if he hadn't just had an explosive orgasm.

What's more, the electricity between us is still thrumming, like no tension was relieved at all. Maybe that isn't what we're doing here together. Maybe we're building more need, more tension, instead of taking any away. I'm not going to survive him if that's true.

"You had your turn," Garrus growls. "I'm touching you now." To prove his point, Garrus shoves his hands up under my shirt. I feel my bra snap with almost violence and gasp, making him chuckle. "I should have clarified. I'm going to touch you everywhere."

"Garrus."

With another man, one who I didn't know shared my fondness and desperation or didn't consider a friend, I might be ashamed of the weak way I gasp out his name. I might reject or at least resist his dominance. I might feel less safe, less cared for, just less in general. With Garrus, the only thing I can think about is how badly I want him and bask in knowing he wants me just as much.

His tongue drags me from my thoughts as it drags over my skin, over my throat, and up to my ear, which he nips. "Turn around."

My surprise lasts for all of a second before I eagerly push off of him and stand as much as I can to obey. I still have to bend almost in half, but he gives me room before moving me between his legs. I feel him shift behind me and grasp my thighs to keep me from sitting back down.

I have to reach out to hold the back of the seats in front of me for some stability when I feel his mouth brush across my lower back. One hand sneaks around my hips and deftly releases the button of my pants. "Ready for me?" he asks, voice somehow even huskier than usual while guiding my pants down.

"God, yes. From the moment I met you," I admit.

Garrus rewards me for that with a deep, beautiful growl that sends heat surging through my core. Still, he takes no chances and tests me with taloned fingers while my pants rest just below my knees. "So wet," he murmurs, sweeping slowly before slipping one finger through my folds. "One of these days, Elle, I'm really gonna take my time and drive you wild. Make you beg."

I don't hide my laugh. "Can you actually see me begging?"

"Oh, baby," he laughs in response, apparently unaware of what hearing him call me baby in that voice does to me. "I can see you doing and wanting a lot of things you've never dared to."

I bite my lip to stifle a moan, unwilling to let him know how good his finger fucking me slowly feels or what his words are doing to me. It feels like he's issuing a challenge, and I'm not about to back down. "You're assuming you're my first man in a Mako?"

His growl shifts somewhere lower in his chest, and the hand on my hip tightens, a signal that he did not like that. Garrus jerks me back so suddenly that I lose my breath and land hard on his lap with his cock against my back and his mouth at my ear.

"I will be the only man you remember when you think of this," he promises, voice dangerous and deadly again like it was when he thought Wrex as threatening me.

A shiver of something that feels kind of like fear rushes down my spine, but it's followed so quickly by anticipation and arousal that I barely recognize it. I want whatever Garrus has to give, whatever he wants or needs from me.

Before I can give that too much thought, Garrus pushes me back off of him by the hips only to hold me in place while I can feel his cock taking aim, the thick head nestling just inside me. I spare a moment to be grateful that he tested my readiness when even lowering slowly, he stretches me to the point of pain. When my thighs rest on his and I'm completely full, I can barely breathe at all.

God, I've needed this.

Garrus hooks his feet around mine and pulls his legs apart, spreading me. He slides one hand from my waist to rest on my stomach and pulls, guiding me to lean back against his chest. I can't help but gasp and clench his arm with my hand when the new angle presses his cock up against the sensitive spot at the front of my body. It makes me feel even fuller, and I nearly see stars when he rolls his hips up into me.

"There you go. Let me in, baby."

I don't know when he started calling me baby, but as long as he keeps doing whatever he's doing with his hips to make his cock move like that, I can't care. With a couple rolls, my body opens and lets all of him in. We moan in unison at the sensation.

"That's my girl," Garrus breathes softly into my ear, sharp teeth incredibly gentle when he nips the lobe.

Something in my stomach clenches oddly at his words. I recognize his next growl as frustrated, his forehead on my shoulder, and can tell that he caught my reaction to the possessive endearment.

"Don't."

I reach back to hold the back of his head, lifting my hips as much as I can to grind down on him. Garrus is the one who gasps this time, and he bites down on my shoulder, hard enough to break the skin and make me cry out for him. My fingers dig into the sensitive hide beneath his fringe, and Garrus slides one strong, rough hand up to cup my breasts. His other hand, wicked man that he is, moves to where are bodies are joined so that deft fingers can find my clit.

"You feel so good, so tight," he purrs into my ear. I don't have a lot of leverage to move in this position - or room to move in the tank - but I don't need it with Garrus' dick and hands in the perfect places to make me crazy. We grind slowly instead of thrusting so that he's rubbing me inside and out, right where I need him...just like he always is.

Combined with that damn melted chocolate voice whispering how good I made him feel, I'm lost.

"Is that how you want me, Elle? Can you cum for me like this?"

"Yes, Garrus, please. I need you with me."

"Spirits, I am, I'm with you." Garrus accentuates the point by giving me a shallow thrust and increasing the pressure on my clit. He guides me that way to climax until it's all I can do not to thrash around on him. "Kiss me."

I turn my head to meet his mouth, kissing him as deeply as I can so that he can swallow my screams. It's quickly followed by his deep moans and the hot explosion of his seed inside me.

It feels like the pleasure goes on long enough to kill me before we both slump heavily, breathing hard, and his arms come around me. I don't move my hand from the back of his head, although my fingers are gentler now, and I continue to kiss the side of his face that I can reach while we fight for air and our senses. "We need to do this more often."

He laughs and turns his head to kiss me quickly before dropping his head back to the seat. I do the same, into his chest, and cover his arms with mine. He's so warm, so comfortable. I could stay here...forever.

"I never dreamed of a woman who could be better tension relief than sparring with a Krogan. You really are something else, Shepard."

"Well, while we're being honest...this is my first time in a Mako. Or any sort of vehicle, actually." Garrus gives a happy little hum at that, and I feel his arms tighten around me. "Oh, and you, Officer Vakarian, are the first man who has ever inspired a wet dream."

This time his groan is pained, and it makes me laugh since torture was the primary reason I told him that last part...even though it's true.

"You need to not say things like that if you want me to ever let you out of this tank."

I laugh with him, and I love that he still wants me after we're done, but it makes me remember the time as well as our location, so I start to climb carefully off of him. Garrus lends his hands to stabilize me in the small space and then shifts over on the seat so that I can collapse back down beside him. We sit there for another moment, both still quiet while basking in the afterglow.

"I should get back upstairs before someone notices." I know I've failed at masking how disappointed I sound about that. I don't want to leave - not the tank, not this moment, not Garrus.

"Yeah, I know." It surprises me that he sounds just as disappointed, but not to find blue eyes already watching me when I turn my head. He leans down to kiss me, and I let him, holding his jaw while returning it. We part slowly after a long moment and then go about getting ourselves put back together. It's all a lot less awkward than it could be.

I'm grateful that we're still alone when we climb out of the truck, but even more that Garrus checked before letting me out. "Getting back to work?"

"You know me," he responds with a laugh and a shrug. "Heading to bed?"

"After a shower, yeah."

"Don't tease me, Shepard. And get out of here before anyone else on the crew figures out how crazy you are about me." I'll never stop loving how easily he makes me laugh. "Night, kid."

"Goodnight, Garrus."

I don't reach the elevator before he calls, "Oh, hey wait. I saw you place a bet with Williams. Who did you give the odds to?"

I laugh and roll my eyes, not turning around when I answer, "Always on the sure thing, big guy."

Shepard has put together quite the weird operation here.

I wasn't surprised when I got to the Normandy on my first day and found out that Shepard had recruited the Quarian girl, Tali, for her mission. I could tell the two of them liked each other right away, and I've seen them giggling together since; Shepard seems light around her. Tali is sweet, a little quiet until you get her going, and a brilliant engineer - an interest we share. We get along, and I like having her around.

A surprise came when I realized she'd also recruited Wrex, the Krogan mercenary. I've known him for years, and though we've never spent a lot of time together, the rapport comes easy, and we find ourselves choosing to share space down in the Cargo Hold. Sleeping in the human crew quarters is tough when you're quite a bit bigger than the normal human, so Shepard commandeered us cots.

Much the opposite of the Quarian, Wrex is more shut-off than I've known him to be, which tells me that he's a little anxious with the rest of the crew. It's hard to blame him for it with people like Ashley Williams around. The Gunnery Chief is a raging xenophobe and racist; she does nothing to hide her opinions, especially about me and especially when Shepard isn't around.

Unfortunately, her work station is also in the Cargo Hold, which means that she spends hours every day scoffing and scowling at Wrex and me. It pisses the Krogan off, but I don't pay it much mind. I know for certain that Shepard doesn't share her beliefs, and at least the other humans on the crew aren't nearly as bad. Pressly might hold a bit of a grudge, but he's polite to me, at least.

Joker, the pilot with the strange-sounding voice and a frail body, is sarcastic and moody...which is probably a big reason why we click immediately. His sour style doesn't put me off, and I think he appreciates that I can be sarcastic right back instead of letting him offend me. We crack jokes over meals and exchange media files through our Omni-Tools, competing with our individual and cultural tastes in music and movies.

The other human on Shepard's crew, Kaidan Alenko, would likely become a friend of mine if he wasn't interested in Shepard as much more than a Commander. He's a Lieutenant and a biotic who seems capable enough. The way that Ashley Williams responds to him is enough to tell me that Kaidan is considered handsome by human standards. So it annoys me that he so obviously wants Shepard, pining after her without bothering to hide the flirting or pouting every time he doesn't get all of her attention.

And it drives Alenko crazy right back that Shepard doesn't hide giving me her attention, instead of him.

She makes the rounds at the end of every day and checks in with every single crew member. It's not something I've ever seen on a ship or with another commanding officer, but it seems to be working, even Wrex opening up to her after she persists for a few weeks. Shepard leaves me for last on those rounds, and at first, I thought that was a slight, but I've come to realize it's because we end up talking for hours. Just last night, she was down here for almost three hours shooting the shit.

Shepard is busy as hell and focused on the mission - a focus I appreciate immensely - so I'm trying to be understanding that we've only had one chance for alone time. She's still showing interest, flirting hard, and I catch her eye lingering on me a little too long around the ship. But before the night in the Mako, I was worried she was getting over me. I hate how much that freaked me out.

I should have had her out of my system long ago; instead, I can't even climax on my own anymore without thinking about the way Shepard feels inside or how she looks when I'm inside her. Or that mouth. Damn human really did ruin me.

And I'm still not entirely sure that it matters to her.

I shake off the thought and focus on my task. Shepard asked me to make sure the Mako is ready for the mission today. She admitted to me last night in private that she's a little anxious about this mission since it's the first really important one, everything else mostly just Alliance errands even if they did give us good practice as a squad. She seemed to relax a little when I assured her that I have all the confidence in the world in her, but I want the Mako at optimal performance anyway.

The mission today will take us to a Prothean dig site on Therum. We're supposed to find and question Liara T'Soni, an Asari expert on the Protheans and their culture. She also happens to be Matriarch Benezia's daughter, and if that woman is working as Saren's right hand, the daughter might know something that can help us.

The Cargo Hold is busy while we all wait for Shepard to give orders after Joker announces we're approaching Therum. I want to be chosen for the ground team on the mission as much as anyone else; getting chosen for the first big mission means Shepard trusts us and our abilities.

Williams and Alenko are down here in the Cargo Bay, the biotic making a rare trip away from his station or wherever he happens to be drooling over Shepard's ass, and both of them preparing their armor. They don't have the gall to dress already, but we can all see that they've assumed they'll be on Shepard's ground squad. Even I can admit it's an easy assumption to make, just given that they're Alliance, but it pisses me off anyway...both being left behind and their cocky attitudes.

"I'm going to piss her helmet one day," Wrex growls from beside me, cleaning his shotgun. I laugh at him but don't doubt for a second that he'd do it if Williams said the wrong thing. "You were up late, Vakarian. And not alone."

I scowl at him and dart a glance toward the humans, hoping they don't hear and get curious about what I was doing last night.

"Their hearing is crap, and they're too dense to realize that's going on with you and Shepard."

"There is nothing going on with Shepard and me."

Wrex barks out a laugh. "Try that with a species who can't smell the pheromones on both of you when you're in the same room. And she doesn't stay up halfway through the night cycle giggling with anyone else."

"Go ahead and let Shepard hear you accuse her of giggling. You'll be peeing through a stump."

We laugh together at that, but the sound of the elevator descending distracts us. The thing moves almost as slowly as the infamous ones on the Citadel, so even on a small ship, it ends up being a long ride. I try not to watch when Shepard emerges.

I try...but I fail, hard.

Shepard is a damn vision, even in head to toe armor. And even standing next to Tali, who could attract any blue-blooded Turian. Shepard captures all of my attention. I have to take a deep breath to try and stem the flow of blood to my cock, so I divert my eyes instead of watching her walk.

Most of the issue is that I'm decidedly not used to only getting laid once every few weeks, I know that, but knowing doesn't actually help me.

"Vakarian."

I love the way she says my name, even when it's all business. I turn toward her immediately, not about to disrespect her command. Especially not for a hard-on. "Commander?"

"Gear up. You're with Tali and me."

I feel my surprise register hard enough that I'm sure she can see it. Me and Tali on the mission means that she's not taking any of the human Alliance squad. She's taking me instead of a human.

She trusts me.

"Aye, Commander." I offer her a quick half-smile that I hope she catches and then cut across the room to the lockers where my armor waits. Williams and Alenko are both standing at the lockers with their mouths gaping open like the fish in the fountain on the Presidium.

It takes a lot of effort not to rub it in their faces, but I ignore them and move to my locker.

"Commander, I...are you sure?" Alenko asks, with Williams on his heels. If there's one thing I've learned about Kaidan Alenko, it's that he has absolutely no idea how to take a hint.

"Am I sure?" Shepard repeats, her voice slow and dangerous.

The warning is clear in her tone - he needs to shut up. Unfortunately for them, Williams is just as bad at picking up signals. "We thought you'd want to have some of the Alliance crew with you."

"You're not Alliance crew anymore, Williams, you're mine. And I am always sure, Alenko."

I hear Wrex's low chuckle, the Krogan brave enough not to bother hiding his amusement. I try not to laugh but can't help turning to watch in the hope that Shepard will tear into them while I start strapping my armor on.

"We know Saren is involved with the Reapers, and our only connection to them is the Protheans. This professor, T'Soni, is an expert on Protheans and Benezia's daughter; we need to assume Saren is going after her, and that could mean Geth. Tali is better than any of us at taking the Geth out. Hell, she can make them fight against each other!"

It is an impressive little trick, and I'm sure that if her face wasn't hidden, we'd see Tali beaming under the praise.

"OK, but what about Vakarian?"

Shepard laughs at that, surprising all of us, I think. "Are you serious? The guy can make shots before the rest of us ever even see them. And he takes out Geth through the flashlight at meters. Can either of you do that?"

Now I have to fight not to look proud, grateful I'm already dressed so that armor around my carapace and throat will prevent anyone from seeing the blue tinge of a blush as my plates each up. Open praise is new for me, especially from someone so...good.

She's not done with the humans, though, and I find myself completely rapt when she unfolds her arms from her cocky, casual stance to step toward them. She's all business now.

"Before either of you get any closer to insubordination, let me make it clear that I will choose my squad however I see fit. You two are not different, separate, or above anyone else on the crew just because you're wearing Alliance insignia. Are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," they both respond reflexively and immediately.

Fuck. Shepard in charge could totally get me off. She challenges my dominant instincts in everything she does, in just being herself, and it's part of the reason I'm always hot for her.

Those hips don't hurt either.

"Good. You've both just been reassigned to Mess duty for the day. Go." I watch Williams and Alenko scramble for the elevator, no longer hiding my amusement with the whole thing. "Try not to let your ego get too big over there, Vakarian."

"Oh, it's always big, Shepard," I quip before I can think better of it.

Tali claps a hand over her mask, which doesn't stop the sound of her giggle, and Shepard's cheeks turn that wonderful pink color. She elbows her Quarian friend, and the two of them laugh even as the human narrows her eyes at me. I just shrug innocently, grateful she's not mad for the public slip.

I can't help but wonder if her reaction would be different if the Alliance crew were still here.

"I'll meet you both at the airlock," Shepard says, nodding to Tali to get her armor on. Wrex joins her in the elevator, probably going to eat for the third time today.

"So...I'm not the only one of us who's surprised that Shepard is taking us, right?" Tali asks when she approaches the lockers. I can't help but enjoy the lilt of her voice, that unique accent. "I mean, clearly the humans are."

I laugh and shake my head, finishing the seals on my gear. "No, I'm surprised, too. Shepard...kind of seems to be full of surprises." I didn't actually mean to say that when I started and I have to hope Tali doesn't make a big deal out of it; the way that she's watching me makes me certain the Quarian is smiling at me. "Shut up, Tali."

"Oh, come on! She's into you, Garrus."

"Yeah, and the whole galaxy is into her. Also - shut up."

That only makes her laugh harder, tilting her head back and obviously enjoying teasing me. I flick her hood playfully and dodge her swatting arm before I leave her alone to finish dressing, heading for the elevator on my own while checking the heat sinks for my rifle and pistols.

Shepard's words to the other humans make me wonder what we'll be facing on Therum. Tali's words make me wonder who else has figured out how I feel about our Commander.

The raspy sound of her laugh as I approach the airlock is not helping my situation. Shepard is standing in the cockpit, leaning against a wall and talking to Joker, who has turned his seat around to face her. It lets him see me coming, and Shepard follows his gaze to me.

I take more than a little pleasure in the blaze of heat that erupts in green eyes when she spots me.

"Hey, super nerd," the pilot calls, smirking at me. "You have got to stop leaving the stick from your ass lying around. Kaidan keeps finding it and sitting on the thing."

"Please - please - do not make references to Alenko sitting on anything attached to me." That sends both Shepard and Joker into hysterics. I just roll my eyes and join them in the cockpit.

I choose to lean on the wall just behind Shepard. I hope it just looks like I'm waiting near the airlock but here, close to her...I can smell her. When she's wearing armor, the woman's natural citrus and cinnamon scent swirls with the gun oil and metal scent of the soldier. I've never found a scent so sexy in my whole life...someday, I'm going to fuck her senseless while she's wearing it.

And that's easily the most inappropriate thought I've ever had. Get a grip, Vakarian.

"You know, I'm kind of looking forward to having an Asari onboard," Joker informs us. I know enough about human expressions to know he's about to say something dirty. "So far, the only available women on board are either in an enviro-suit or could probably break me."

"Hey, if they want to try, never say no," I advise him with a wink. Joker laughs, and Shepard tries not to while she throws an elbow back into me.

The Normandy alerts Joker that we're nearing the landing zone he programmed, so he turns his back to us, and I can't pass up the opportunity to step even closer to Shepard.

"Careful, Vakarian. Joker thinks I could break a guy," she whispers, tilting her head back to look up at me with wide eyes.

"Hmm." I take a glance at Joker to make sure we have a minute of privacy and then lift my hand to her throat, all that skin just begging for me. She has no idea what this submissive stance does to me. Her eyes grow even wider when my armored hand covers the front of her neck, but she doesn't pull away. "That sounds like a challenge I might have to accept."

"Is there any challenge you don't accept?"

"Never." The bright smile that flashes across her face makes my heart skip. I'd do just about anything keep her smiling like this.

"We've got trouble." I drop my hand immediately and try to ignore the way Shepard almost falls forward like she needed the contact. "The planet is volcanic, and it's unstable. We can't land the Normandy, you'll have to drop in the Mako," Joker tells us.

"It's ready," I promise Shepard before she has to ask.

She nods, fully recovered now, and pounds her fist twice against my armor. "Let's move."

"Tali, I swear, if you gasp like that one more time, I will eject you from the tank."

There are few things I hate more than backseat drivers, and the aliens in the Mako with me now are worse than any humans, groaning and gasping like their lives are in danger.

"Shepard, can you blame her? I'm pretty sure you got a sear on the undercarriage with that last turn. You know - the one near the flowing river of lava!" Garrus snaps from the seat beside me. He's gripping the handle above him and the dashboard so hard that I'm certain his knuckles would be white if he had skin. As it is, I think he might break something.

"The turns are sharp!"

"Then stop taking them so wide!"

I can't help but laugh at how high his voice is managing to get, especially while I continue to accelerate to navigate Therum's winding landscape. It's kind of a pain, but at least we barely need any navigational aid at all with all the machinery leading to the dig site.

Well, that and all the Geth dropships leaving us with enemies trying to block our path.

"You think you could quit whining and take out some Geth?" I tease my sniper as he leans his rifle out the window again. In response - and probably to show me up - Garrus uses four bullets to take out five Geth, including a Rocket Trooper armed with a grenade launcher.

The damned cocky look on his face when he leans back in is trouble for my focus...almost as bad as his hand around my throat earlier was.

Really not the time or place to get turned on.

We reach the gates, and I have to park the Mako to help my crew eliminate the squadron of Geth in front of us, leaving us with a very much closed gate. "Vakarian, clear out the building to the right of gates, I'll take the left. If the controls are in there, open it. Tali, stay here in case more drones show up or if we need the cannons for whatever is on the other side."

They both confirm immediately, and Garrus gets out of the Mako even before I do. After being challenged and questioned by members of my crew this morning, it's nice to be trusted.

I end up only having to take out one Geth and hear a single shot from Garrus' building before I hear the gates opening. I haul ass back out, but the other side of the gate is clear, and Tali never has to fire.

"Mine was dead first. Some sniper you are."

Garrus laughs and shakes his head at me, probably entirely unaware that he looks downright edible in all of his armor. "I've taken out sixteen Geth. You did, what, three? Come on, kid. Keep up."

I should probably be concerned that he's using what amounts to a pet name for me on a public comm channel that anyone on the ship could tap into, that Joker and Tali are listening on, that will be recorded. But I like it too damn much to care.

The rest of our journey in the Mako ends quickly and we're forced to leave it where Joker can retrieve it before continuing on foot through a narrow pass with just about everything the Geth can throw at us - including a couple new and fun sons of bitches who can climb walls and flash around at light speed. It's not an easy fight, but we handle it about as well as I could have hoped.

Garrus' shots are all but flawless, and he somehow anticipates what I'm going to say before I have to say it, so we're moving with fluidity, and I don't have to give him a single command. Tali is exceptional in taking out Geth, as always. I honestly think she's enjoying finding new ways to piss them off or blow them up. I don't know if that's about the history of her people or a very interesting piece of the sweet little Quarian's personality that we need to learn more about.

Finally, we clear out the Geth Armature with its massive cannon and can continue into the ruins. At this point, I just have to hope that Dr. Liara T'Soni is still alive since it's clear that Saren has located her and wants her something fierce.

Inside, we find a structure that looks like it should be filled with scientists at work, rounded rooms of sterile white tile built into the ruins, and stacked on top of each other. The harsh glow of the floodlights down here is muted by the soft blue glow of barriers preventing access to any of the rooms on this level.

The elevator seems like a sweet deal at first, but, of course, the thing breaks halfway through our ride down. Garrus growls in frustration and straps his rifle to his back so that he can step forward and break the doors open with a swift kick. I would have shot it, but considering the doors are solid steel, his way seems safer.

"The thing is broken and still more efficient than the elevator on the Normandy," he grumbles.

"Yeah, that must have been the Turian part of the design," I quip.

He laughs as the door breaks open with a crash when he kicks a heavy boot backed up by an even heavier body through it. "Yeah, if it were human, we'd know. Poor thing would come way too fast."

"Oh, my God! You are goddamn incorrigible today," I mock-snap even though it carries no heat through my laughter and Tali's.

"Oh, Keelah. You two are so much fun...and in so much trouble," Tali teases us in a singsong voice before she leaves the elevator first, jumping to the platform smoothly. Garrus laughs and flashes a wink, motioning for me to follow her. I scan the area for Geth quickly before taking a moment to pause beside him.

I wonder if it's just my imagination that Garrus leans forward just slightly until his armor scrapes against mine, sending a tingle shooting right down my spine. My mind immediately goes to thinking about the noise our gear would make if I straddled him while we were wearing it.

I make the jump mostly to get away from him for a second to clear my thoughts and focus. He follows, and we continue our way down, easily wiping out the rest of the Shock Troopers waiting for us. At ground level is another room with barriers up, but this one contains an Asari...floating?

"Well, that's not something you see every day," Tali mutters as we approach.

When we get closer, I can hear that the Asari is calling to us. "Can you hear me out there? I'm trapped, I need help!" She gives us a second look, making the same face most people do when they see three aliens with guns, and then makes a sound like she's going to cry. "By the Goddess, I'm hallucinating."

I note that she almost sounds like she's scolding himself for hallucinating and wonder just how long she's been trapped in the air.

The Asari - T'Soni, I assume - laughs and is clearly on a roll now. "And talking to yourself, oh, Liara. You're going to die in here."

"She might if she doesn't shut up," Garrus mutters, forcing me to hide a laugh.

The last thing we need is to get caught from behind because the professor can't get her shit together, but I can tell the poor thing has been traumatized. "Are you OK? We're here to save you."

Liara takes a deep breath, and I hear her mumbling something else to the Goddess. She must decide that we're real. "Listen. This thing I'm in is a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it, right?"

Tali steps a little closer to it, obviously curious, and asks, "How did you end up in there anyway?" It's a valid question, all things considered.

"I was exploring the ruins when the Geth showed up," she explains. "So, I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth - beyond the Veil?" This girl has definitely been in underground ruins for far too long. "I activated the tower defenses; I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out. But when I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to. Please get me out of here."

"We need your help," I tell the Asari, wanting to feel her out on the whole thing before we go to the trouble of rescuing her. "Your mother is working with a rogue Spectre named Saren and is controlling the Geth. Frankly, I need to know what side you're on in all this."

She blinks repeatedly at me. "What?" The shock in her voice strikes me immediately as genuine. "I am not on anybody's side! I may be Benezia's daughter, but I'm nothing like her, and I haven't spoken to her at all in years. Please, I don't want anything to do with this Saren or his Geth. Just get me out of here!"

I hold my hands up and hope it's reassuring. "OK, we'll find some way to get past the energy curtain and help you. Just stay calm."

"There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing. Getting in...that's the tricky part. The defenses cannot be shut off from the outside," she informs us. "I don't know how you'll get in here, but...please, be careful. There was a Krogan with the Geth. They've been trying to find different ways to get past the barrier."

"Shepard." I hadn't even noticed Garrus walking away, but I turn to find him standing beyond the platform near an extremely large machine. "This is a drilling laser. I can probably figure out how to turn it on, and it's pointing under that room. We could use it to get through to the other side."

"Nice find, figure it out," I tell him. "Tali, be prepared for anything. It's not going to be quiet, and we can expect that the Geth - and that Krogan - will come looking." I turn back to the Asari and tell her, "Hang tight. We're coming for you."

"I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a joke."

It takes me a moment to realize how insensitive it was, but I don't really have time to worry about it now since Garrus already has the laser whirring to life. With a blast strong enough to rattle even the ground under our feet, the beam goes off and rips a hole right under the area where Liara is trapped.

I lead the others through the hold and then into a lift, which takes us around behind Liara, where she's trapped and floating in the Prothean barrier. "Alright. We need to get you out of there before more Geth show up."

"I've certainly seen enough of them to last a lifetime," Liara notes. "The button should shut down my containment field," she tells me, motioning as much as she can toward a console.

"Shepard." I turn back to Tali, who looks like she feels guilty, wringing her hands on her shotgun. "Are we sure she's on our side? Her mother is working with Saren."

I know that Tali feels like she has a personal stake in this mission, both since Saren tried to kill her and because it involves the Geth. I also know that right now, Tali is worried she's challenging me like Ash and Kaidan did this morning.

"I am not my mother!" Liara exclaims, her voice rising much like Garrus' did when he was terrified in the Mako. "I don't know why Benezia joined a Spectre, and I don't want anything to do with Geth!"

I turn back to Liara and consider everything we know about her, about Saren. "If she was with Saren, the Geth probably wouldn't be trying to kill her." I give Garrus a nod, and he either trusts my judgment or thinks the same because he goes right to the console for the controls.

It doesn't release her gently, Liara slamming to the ground on all fours. She'll survive.

"And idea how we get out of this place?"

"The elevator. It should take us out of here." We let Liara lead us through the back of the ruins and onto a platform that appears to be stable enough to carry us up. It's not going to be as simple as jumping off if this thing breaks.

Liara is pacing, anxious. "I...I still can't believe all of this. Why would the Geth come after me? Do you think Benezia is involved?"

I have to wince at the question and glance at Garrus, who looks just as uncomfortable with the thought of having to tell this person that her mother likely helped Saren find her. "Saren is looking for the Conduit, which he believes has something to do with the Protheans," I explain. "You're a Prothean expert...he probably wants your help."

"The Conduit...but, I don't know - " She's cut off by a loud boom that rattles the floor under us.

"What the hell was that?" Garrus demands.

I don't know if he steps closer to me because he's concerned or just from instinct. Either way, it makes me feel a little safer. But I'll never admit that.

"These ruins aren't stable," Liara tells us. "That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event. This whole place is caving in."

"Oh. Good." Garrus chuckles softly at the sarcasm in my tone, but I can tell he's anxious. "Joker! Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal - on the double!"

Joker responds right away. "Aye, aye, Commander. Secure and away. ETA eight minutes."

"That is not a big margin of error," Tali says softly.

The Turian takes a much more direct route and talks to the pilot through our comms. "Joker, if I die in here, I will kill you."

Joker just laughs as Liara gets the elevator moving, and I say a quick thanks to whatever entities might be listening that it moves faster than the one on the Normandy. Another boom and quake have my nerves on edge.

It reaches the top level and stops...just as a huge Krogan marches toward us with three well-equipped Geth. I have to hold up a hand to stop Garrus from immediately advancing on them.

"Surrender," the Krogan calls to us as they fan out to prevent our exit. "Or don't. That would be more fun."

I have half a mind to try and talk him down until there's another loud bang, this one sending rocks crumbling down around us. This is not how I go down...I'm far too sexually frustrated to die right now, that would just be unfair. "I don't have time for this. Get him."

"I like your attitude," the Krogan laughs. He shouts an order for his Geth troopers to attack, and we launch into a firefight. Garrus and Tali get right down to business, but even while her hands glow with biotic power, the Asari professor just freezes in terror - while multiple people are shooting at her.

"Shepard, the Asari!" Garrus shouts.

"I know, I need you to cover me - I have to get her."

"Are you nuts?"

Instead of just responding to the question, I hope that it's rhetorical and throw a biotic blast toward the Geth closing in on Liara. He goes flying, and Garrus steps up, firing on the Krogan, who has spotted me. I focus only on grabbing Liara, and she's easy to drag behind cover since she's in total shock.

Just before I can maneuver her around a console for some safety, my shields take a hard enough hit to launch me forward. I hit the ground on my shoulder and hear a crunch, stars exploding behind my eyes with the pain.

"Son of a bitch!" I hear Garrus growl as I shake it off.

"Garrus!"

The way Tali shouts his name terrifies me, and I whirl around with my heart in my throat just in time to see the Turian hurl himself at the Krogan. Using his size and speed as an advantage against a two-ton, heavily armored enemy, Garrus manages to take his opponent to the ground and then unloads his pistol right into the Krogan's face. The Krogan has no shot at regeneration now, effectively ending the fight.

"Shepard, are you OK?" Garrus calls like he didn't just risk his life.

"Who's nuts now, Vakarian?" I demand, dragging the Asari to her feet. For some reason, the quiet seems to have made her panic worse, and one look in her eyes tells me that the lucid professor is gone for now. "OK, you've gotta grab her, big guy. We need to run like hell."

My shoulder is throbbing from the fall, but I shove Liara toward Garrus; he slings the woman over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I stay behind the three of them, Tali in the lead, and we run as fast as we can over the scaffolding and toward the entrance we used to get in here.

The ruins are crumbling down around us, huge chunks of rock falling everywhere, and the roar of collapse almost deafening. I see Tali exit, and then Garrus pauses at the door to look back for me. I'm only a few steps behind, but the scaffolding gives way very suddenly, and I can feel it collapsing under me. I watch Garrus shove Liara through the door and then run back for me, extending an arm long enough that I can grab hold and jump with him.

We bolt the second I land and cross outside as a violent blast sends everything sideways. My feet go out from under me, and I hit something hard, tumbling down the ramp like I used to roll down grassy hills as a kid, and moving so fast I can't see anything at all.

When it stops, I need a full second to realize that I've landed underneath Garrus.

And then I need at least a couple more seconds to get my heart beating again when I register his body on top of mine, impossibly blue eyes staring down at me...flicking toward my mouth. I can't even begin to explain how just knowing he wants me can set fire in my veins, heat building down through my core.

What he wants is pretty obvious in his gaze, and I'm confident that if I let him, Garrus would take me right here. The problem is that I want to let him. I want so very much to let him.

"Keelah, I was worried you weren't going to make it." Tali's voice snaps both of us out of the trance, and Garrus shifts off of me quickly. It's not like I could feel the heat of his body through our armor, but without him, I feel cold somehow.

He extends a hand down to help me up, and I accept it with the uninjured arm. We still have to rush onto the Normandy, but once inside with Joker taking off and away from the volcano erupting, all four us pretty much collapse in the airlock. I catch my breath while telling Joker to have the crew assemble in the comm room, Tali guiding Liara there already.

"Shepard, you were hurt," Garrus notes, choosing to wait for me instead.

"Just popped my shoulder, it's not a big deal," I assure him. I'm certain of the injury now that I can feel a little more, my adrenaline slowing. We reach the doors to the Comm Room, but Garrus doesn't let me go in, catching my uninjured arm instead.

"Let me see it." His tone is firm but not pushy. The guy is definitely my equal in walking that line with insubordination...and I like it. When Garrus notices my narrowed eyes, he smirks and reaches out to tuck a curl behind my ear. He tugs the lobe gently as his hand falls away, and just like that, I melt. "Please? We both know it'll feel better if I put it back in."

"OK."

Pathetic. I wonder just how much Garrus could get me to agree to with that touch, that voice, and that damned smile of his. I kind of want to find out.

Garrus quickly works through the seals on my chest plates and arms, leaning them against the wall with all the care I'd expect a soldier to take with armor. I try to hide my wince when I have to shift my shoulder to get out of the armor completely, and Garrus' mandibles press tight to his face on a frown. "His shields regenerated faster than I thought they wouldn't," he murmurs. "I should have been able to take him down faster."

It takes me a second to realize that he's scolding himself while very gently examining my shoulder, and the notion makes me laugh.

"Garrus. You took on a Krogan hand-to-hand because he knocked me down - and you kicked his ass. I think you did more than enough."

"You still got hurt."

I open my mouth to respond, but all the air leaves me when Garrus snaps my shoulder into place, wisely not giving me any warning or opportunity to tense. After the initial sharpness, I'm flooded with relief from almost all pain.

"And now you've fixed me," I assure him, finally getting him to meet my gaze while I rotate the joint. "A couple analgesics and it'll be like nothing ever happened. Except that, again, you kicked a Krogan's ass to defend me. So. Thanks."

I can tell he would prefer to beat himself up, but Garrus allows a small smile and then nods. "Anytime, Elle."

A throat clearing makes us both jump - which I didn't know could happen to a Turian with super senses - and my heart sinks when our audience makes itself known. Kaidan looks like he might cry while I think Ashley would punch Garrus if she wasn't afraid he'd airlock her. Behind them, Wrex is smiling like the cat who caught the canary.

"I'm sorry, were you ordered to the hallway or the Comm Room? Get in there!" I snap at them, pointing through the doors where any damn one of them could have walked without watching. I hate knowing that my face is red while they walk past us, the Krogan laughing the whole way, and I hate even more that I can't bring myself to look at Garrus again when I follow them.

I hate that the Asari is so useless in a firefight more than anything.

My opinion of her doesn't improve despite her clear expertise with the Reapers after she joins with me. It's entirely uncomfortable; I'm seeing the vision from the Prothean beacon enough in my nightmares, I don't need to be dragged back through it while conscious. It doesn't help, only exhausts her, and I dismiss the whole squad mostly just to get some quiet in my head.

The effort is useless since they haven't even left the room before Joker tells me that the Council is waiting for me to check-in and brief them on the mission. I'd like to tell the Council to shove it or at least make them wait, but since this is the first major mission I've completed as a Spectre, it would probably make a bad impression.

"Patch them through, Joker, And then have someone pour me a drink."

"I like your style, Shep. Incoming."

A hologram of the three Councilors appears, the Asari again flanked on either side by her Turian and Salarian counterparts. She is the first to speak. "We've received your report, Commander. I understand Dr. T'Soni is on the Normandy."

"I assume you're taking the necessary security precautions?" Sparatus checks. His dual-tone carries even over the comms, but I don't enjoy his voice nearly as much as a certain blue-eyed Turian. Good to know I'm not just developing a fetish, I suppose.

"Liara's on our side," I assure them. "The Geth were trying to kill her."

Tevos seems shocked and almost even offended by that. "Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter." As an Asari, she seems to have some knowledge of their Matriarchs in general, but I can't help but wonder if her association with Benezia is more personal.

"Maybe she doesn't know," Valern suggests, blinking huge wet Salarian eyes at Tevos.

Sparatus isn't quite as kind and definitely more blunt when he suggestions, "Or maybe we don't know her. We never expected Saren could become a traitor, either."

"At least the mission was a success." It's the first time Valerns has ever said anything close to praise for me, so I'm pleasantly surprised by it.

"Apart from the utter destruction of a major Prothean ruin," Sparatus chimes in, seriously the spoilsport today. "Was that really necessary, Shepard?"

I blink at him. "That place was crawling with Geth, and my team barely made it out alive. And it was, you know, sitting on a volcano. It's not my fault the Protheans were shit at real estate development."

"Of course, Commander," Valern interjects. If I thought any of them was capable of laughing, I might think he was actually chuckling a little. "The mission must always take priority."

Tevos nods. "Good luck, Commander. Remember: we're all counting on you."

With that, they end the connection, and I'm left staring through the window and wearing all the pressure of the Council - and the galaxy - counting on me.

I have half a mind to call Anderson and tell him to take his ship back.

It's damn easy to feel alone in this, standing in the empty and almost hollow space of the Comm Room. Without the comms running, it's dark in here, and I can almost feel that darkness creeping in on me. This sort of cold loneliness reminds me of how I felt on Akuze after watching my whole team get ripped apart, how every day felt in the hands of the slavers that kidnapped me and killed my family.

Alone and unsure rescue was ever coming, surviving felt like a responsibility instead of...well, instead of a good thing.

The realization hits me hard and fast. I don't need whiskey.

I need a friend.

******* Author's Note*******

I can't tell you how much the comments and kudos mean to me. This has been a passion project for YEARS and it's literally a piece of my soul, so knowing you enjoy it is everything. Thank you for reading!

******* Author's Notes