yis it me. i back. with an update. woot! i'm mostly active on ao3 nowadays - under Dreaming_of_a_White_Fox now.

anyways thank u for reading.

wc: 4.7k

enjoy :3

Chapter 8: Moments

Lately, the world seemed to become more and more distant. Where was the sun when I needed it most? The warmth of spring was so…cold. I hated it. Spring was never cold, only wet and colorful.

The Hokage Monument. A tall mountain, carved with three faces, and full of…contempt. For the Shodai, the Nidaime, the Sandaime. If Konohagakure no Sato wasn't a thing, a stupid fucking place full of militia and greed and stupid death, I would be in an actual grave in my world because of my mistakes and my stupidity and my fucking actions. Not the action of some stupid fucking deity, who decided to play with me, and who decided to put me in the center of this fucking universe.

What kind of good leader gives a hot-headed shithead, like me, a full-fledged promotion? Huh? Not Sarutobi Hiruzen, that was for fucking certain. I blew up a bridge, and got the green light to be in the higher ranks. That was all I did! I blew up a fucking bridge and crippled a country's supply route. So what? It didn't imply the shit that would make me a responsible captain, who could lead missions. It didn't! It just didn't.

Saturn had a hand in this. That fucking bitch had to have a hand in it. Like, what the fuck else can explain this phenomenon? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Sarutobi Hiruzen made an unreasonable decision under Saturn's stupid influence. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I stomped my foot on the carved head of the Sandaime. I balled my fists, and I let out a raging roar. The scream hurt my throat, but it couldn't get past my face. The wind kept it deep in my ears, and refused to reach the glimmering lights of Konoha. "Stupid fucking village!" I shouted. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

The wind howled for a few moments more before it died down in the cavities of my ears. I huffed out in frustration and sat on my butt, crossing my legs and glaring down at the city lights. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Chills suddenly run up and down my back. My hands become sweaty, and I felt very nervous. There was an abyss behind me, evil, and shrouded in pure hatred. It choked me, and when I opened my mouth to gasp, all that came of it was a ghastly sound. What the fuck was this feeling? It was so unholy, and sinister, and it was horrible.

"Cursing out your village, hm?"

I flinched, scrambling back to my feet. A kunai tucked itself in the palm of my hand, and I frantically looked around for the source of the deep, growling voice. "Who was that? Show your-fucking-self, bitch!"

Sickness and death curled in my lungs. My limbs weakened when it showed itself. A black creature, rotund yet shapeless, with eerie yellow orbs, emerged from the ground. A white grin stretched across its face. "Hello, Haruto-san."

I swallowed nerves and vomit. This thing was disgusting, and its heavy presence along made it hard to speak.

"I come in peace," it continued. "It just so happens that we have a common enemy here."

"Wh-what do you mean?" I stuttered.

"Saturn, as you know her." Its yellow orbs slanted a little, likely from thought. "She is dangerous, unpredictable, and her interference with the flow of time in this dimension is…damaging. To me, specifically. I still have yet to discover why she has remained to interested in you. You're just a woman in a child's body, ready to snap like a twig with any given pressure—on the edge of insanity, if you will."

I glared. "I know that," I growled. "I've slipped up before, but I have myself under control. No fucking thanks to you."

Its head leaned forward. "She will destroy your heart," it pointed out. "Saturn has a plan, and she is only using you to accelerate that solar flare she spoke of. You must stop her."

"Tell me how, and I might," I snapped. This fucking cunt needed to get out of my hair. I most assuredly was in no mood to become someone else's pawn. "I can't make any guarantees, though. I'm sick and tired of being a pawn."

It lowered its head for a brief moment out of…what, respect? I couldn't tell. "Of course. I understand, Haruto-san," it cooes. Its hand reached out to the air. A sword manifested. It looked like a short sword, one of this world's making, but…the feeling I was getting from it made it seem celestial and otherworldly. "This is a gift. From my mother, to me, to kill any celestial being who needed to die. And now, I pass it down to you. For Saturn."

I couldn't pull my eyes from it. That sword was so…powerful, yet it was not of chakra or celestial power. I could tell—chakra was apparent, and humane, and heavy, and fluent, while celestial power was natural, and spiritual, and mystical, and atomic. Chakra needed to play by laws of exchange and equal value; celestial power created the laws of exchange and equal value.

"I know. Fascinating, is it not?" it rumbled. "My mother was the power house, and she wanted to remain as the power house. No deity shall interfere with her."

I snorted. "Your mom sounds like a fucking bitch," I snapped. "Give it to me, cunt. I want it. Saturn is too much of a monopoly for me to just leave it in your snobby hands."

Its yellow orbs becomes slits. "You…have a very creative mouth, it seems."

Anger boiled deep within the pits of my stomach. The world became sharper, and the details of the creature were becoming the most memorable thing possible. More so than my already present photographic memory. From the disdain on its face, to its posture, to the height and width of its very being. "Shut up and give me the fucking sword, or else I won't fucking do it," I seethed.

Calculating. It was calculating, and debating, and a ting of regret made me grimace internally, but I didn't show an inkling of it. Tense seconds passed, but it gave up the strange sword anyways. "Hm. Very well," it finally said. "If it leaves your hand, it will disappear. Use the ram hand seal to summon it. When you have summoned it, use the bird hand seal to charge up its power. You must charge it up for at least three seconds before you can utilize its full power, and kill Saturn. When you kill Saturn, it will disappear."

I grabbed the hilt, swinging the sheathed beast around for a few before my sharp eyesight pinned the thing down again. "Thank you," I said, carefully, because I wasn't tryna fuck up my words again. This thing was…horrifying. "Will I see you again?"

It chuckled. "I believe we will become partners when you kill Saturn."

"What makes you so certain that I will kill her?"

"Because, Haruto, I pissed you off with just my words, and you unlocked all three tomoe of your Sharingan," it pointed out. Hm. That explained the sudden change in detail. "You are an empath. You can see things others can not. I can see it in your eyes. You're special, and valuable, and Saturn is a manipulative bastard. She will piss you off very soon, and you will be able to get back at her. The only consequence for you would be losing her as a resource."

I could feel a twinkle in my eye as my thought process began to transcend into a whole new world. A smile began to twitch at my lips. "I see," I murmured. "What's your name?"

"I am known as Zetsu."

I gave it a mock salute. "Hm. Alright, Zetsu. Until then."

"Yes. Until then, Haruto." And then it sunk back into the ground at that.

I could breathe again. But I had, in all honesty, never noticed that I couldn't. A moment without Saturn…I could do with that. This whole jounin stunt really grated at my fucking nerves. She climbed the ropes for me.

I will not allow that fucking bullshit.

Returning home that morning may not have been the best idea.

"Haru!"

Sakumo was worried as all hell. Could I be any stupider?

I smiled sheepishly. "Ah! Tou-san…I'm—"

"Home!" he exclaimed. "Deities above, I almost sent a recon squad after you! Where have you been all night? And where did you get that sword?"

I held it out in front of myself. The sheath is an inconspicuous black. The hilt is black. There is a white and red braided string hanging off the butt end of the hilt, though. Likely to symbolize the Uchiha colors. "I had it custom made," I lied. "I ordered it during my many errands when I was suspended. I wanted to go down the kenjutsu route. It seemed like a fun style."

A glint livened Sakumo's eyes. "Oh, Haru…I could've given you one of my old training swords," he pointed out. "I could teach you, too! I am considered a master in kenjutsu."

"You wanna teach me?" I echoed. He nodded. "You wanna teach me how to use swords?"

"Sure, why not? You've already got one you can use when you're older and more grown," he stated. "Can't let it gather too much dust."

I gave him a look. But I knew my answer. If the fight with Saturn got any worse than an assassination, if there even will be a fight, I needed to learn how to defend myself and fight back with the damn sword. "I would love for you to teach me!" I said. "But I swear to god, tou-san, I refuse to do the dishes from this point on!"

Sakumo only laughed.

I huffed, and put the sword back down to my side. "I'm going to take a nap," I said. "And stuffs. I look and smell like a raccoon."

"Alright. There are some leftovers in the fridge," he informed me. "I will be out all day today with Obito. He's determined to become an awesom shinobi like his brother and sister."

I tilted my head. "What, is he struggling?"

"He isn't a scholar like you," Sakumo pointed out. "He is much more hands-on, but he has passion. I can see it. He'll make out to be a fine man one day."

"Man?"

He grinned. "Yup!" He doesn't elaborate.

I brushed it off. Dotting over human qualities now. Sheesh, what a sucker for good moral. "Well, tell him I'll spar him if he starts doing consistently good."

"Oh?"

I smiled. "Obi has always wanted to fight me," I explained. "As a shinobi, of course. He hasn't said it to me, but…I can feel his anticipation to go up against me one day."

Sakumo gave me a thoughtful expression. "Are you basing it on a hunch, or observation?"

I waved my hand dismissively, and stalked away. "Same difference!" I said. "Good night, tou-san."

"Of course. Rest well, Haru."

A warm, fuzzy feeling numbed my limbs, and a conflicted feeling blossomed in my chest as I walked further down the hall of this traditional home. Sakumo was feeling happy, concerned, and was suspecting something. Whatever it was, I hadn't the slightest idea. But it made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. He was onto something, and there was a gentle nudge that it wouldn't be good for me if he found out about my…sensitivity.

I'm an empath, Zetsu had pointed out. I can see things other can not—Sharingan aside. He went from questioning why I was so special to Saturn, to saying that he understood why I was so special to Saturn. What had changed his mind?

Was it the fact that I was an empath? Because, frankly, I had no idea what the fuck I was until just a few hours ago. I thought it was just a chakra thing, or that I was just a sensor-type. I…guess not.

I opened the fusuma to my room, and stepped inside. I kicked off my zori, and turned to my walk-in closet armory. I placed my weapons pouch, my new jounin vest and my headband in their proper places. My clothing, gross and winded and dirty, got replaced by a black t-shirt and sweatpants. But I kept the sword close. It hadn't left my hand since Zetsu gave it to my yesterday night.

I stared down at it solemnly. With this, I could stop the god of time from using me. Because, yes, she was using me, and she has been using me since I came here. For whatever benefits her, I suppose. I don't know what I'm doing. She wanted me to make a change, but to make you must do on purpose. All I have made happen is…

…What? What have I done to change anything? In fact, who is to say anything has been changed in the first place? I was put her to make ripples. I made my ripples, have made my ripples, and when I have asked what they can mean…all I have gotten are cryptic words regarding my unnatural presence in this world. Saturn had made it clear plenty of times that I do not belong in this world. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not, but not a single creature has made a move to change the facts. I'm still here, still making my ripples, and nothing has stopped me. Things have only infleunced me.

Yes. Kannabi was my decision. Taking this sword was my decision. But these were influenced decisions, all made under the impression that my role in this world was far too important to be left to my own fucking devices. Perhaps the influence was good, but for whom?

Who was it that was benefitting from all of this bullshit? From my role as a pawn to the god of time, and to the horrific, black Zetsu? Was it Zetsu's mother? Was it the plan to stop the stupid fucking Jūbi? Who the fuck needed saving?

The world was sharp again. I felt my hands shaking, and my knuckles whitened with the tightening grip I had on the sword. But I let it go, and it became a white mist that evaporated almost immediately.

There was a knock. "Haruto?" Of course, it was fucking Minato of all people. "Can I come in?"

"What the fuck do you want?" I snapped.

"O-oh, Sakumo-san asked me to stop by. He wanted me to remind you that Obito is graduating tomorrow," he said, almost nervously. "He, uh, said he hadn't mentioned it to you, and…"

His voice drowned itself out. His words weren't continued, but I didn't care enough. My thoughts stopped themselves from spiralling. Because shit. I nearly forgot about that.

"Um, Haruto? Is everything okay?"

Irritation shredded my insides as Minato's tightening chest was projected onto me. He was hurt, and worried, and it pissed me off. I sighed an exaggerated huff of air. "Yeah, thanks. Go away."

"Do I mind if I come back later?" he asks. "Me and Kushina were gonna go shopping for presents, since I'm becoming a jounin-sensei and Obito is graduating…a little party will be held tomorrow! I-I know you don't like family gatherings, but—"

I threw open the fusuma, and jammed a finger in his face. "Dude, just come back tonight," I snarled. "I will be in a better fucking mood, and you can talk my ears off then. Right now, go away!"

He took a step back, alarm widening his blue eyes. "H-Haruto, your eyes are—"

"Good fucking night, Minato!" I slammed the fusuma shut without a second thought. I took a shaky breath of air in, anger curling inside of my lungs. My chest tightened more, and more hurt restricted my ability to breathe calmly. Fuck. I fucked up.

I let the breath go, bregrudgingly, and threw myself into bed.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I woke up in the middle of the day. But the instant my eyes opened, I knew I wasn't going to get another wink of sleep. I had a dreamless, blank sleep, and I could feel a bothersome tension throughout my whole body. I felt restless. I wasn't going to get better sleep. If I manage to lay down again, then I might chance a better night's rest. But, for now, I still felt heated. Mostly at Saturn and myself, for making me a pawn and letting myself be a pawn.

I scrubbed my face. I fucking hate myself. The realization pushed a sigh of sorrow and exhaustion out. I fucking hate myself.

But I still pulled my heavy dumbass out of bed. I needed to find Saturn. Or…Minato. Or…neither…I really could just, like, not fucking bother with either of them anymore. One was a deity and the other was becoming an anomaly. A bad mix, if I do say so myself. Their situations, so separate yet so interconnected, was a weight I had to deal with apparently. Saturn was to blame for everything, though. She put me here.

I still fucking hate myself.

A sweatshirt, black and with a bowl of steaming ramen adorning the front, was my best friend for now. It didn't betray my sloppiness. It was a birthday gift from Kushina about a year ago. I was finally growing into it.

A baggy pair of quarter pants tied up the lazy look I had going, and my zori were, in all honestly, the least scuffed thing I had on. I rubbed my left eye free of exhaustion, and stepped out of my room.

Yoru. Of fucking course, Yoru would be the first fucking stupid face I would see today. I glared at the mutt. "If you pee on any of them tatatmi matts in this stupid house, I will kick your balls," I glowered. The mongrel only wagged his tail, and trotted away as if I had given him praise. "Mutt!"

He barked.

I rolled my eyes, and walked after him.

The marketplace was busy as always. The moment I had stepped outside, I shuffled back in. A hat and gloves were necessary today, I could tell. For whatever reason, the hat lessened my chances of feeling anything out of place and the gloves helped in dampening any emotion I could absorb from my surroundings. So, today, the amount of people were…bearable. I wasn't going to have a breakdown. Besides, there was mostly joy and a sense of good stress strung throughout the crowd. Not too bad. Almost calming, to know that people can still feel that type of bliss.

"N-no, Kushina-chan—"

"Haruto-chan!"

Oh, yeah, what a fucking surprise. Tch. I could feel them before I could see them, anyways. My chest was already tightening from hurt, embarassment, contempt…jeez. I couldn't tell which was worse. I turned around and faced them anyways.

Kushina grinned. "Hey, kid!" she greeted. Passing shoppers glanced at her, judging or noticing the volume of her voice.

I placed my hands on my hips, a slight pout at my lips. "You're the loudest person here. Did you know that?"

"Ha, dattebane! You know it." She winked. "Did you get Minato's message this morning?"

I looked at him. He didn't look at me, though. I just averted my gaze back to Kushina. It was obvious he would avoid me at all costs until we spoke. "Yeah," I said casually. As if nothing happened, my tone stated. Minato's feelings were loud and brash and true. Why was he so fucking hurt anyways? "You guys are out and about shopping. Minato's becoming a jōnin-sensei, and Obito is graduating tomorrow. Or is supposed to be, at least."

Kushina beamed. "I'm so excited, dattebane!" she cried. "Kakashi has been doing so well as a shinobi despite his age! And now Obi-chan is going to be one! Oh, lords above, I can't wait!"

Her overjoyed words made me smile widely. "Me too," I agreed, nonchalant but true.

She tilted her head. "What, you not excited? He's worked so hard, 'ttebane."

I nodded. "I know that. I am excited for him, you know. I'm not a horrible sister."

Kushina laughed. "I can guess otherwise!"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. My only concern is that he's a sweetheart, and I have no idea how he'll take on the horrors of death and war and politics and the concept of the shinobi economy. Not to mention, he's gonna get pressured into unlocking his Sharingan. Especially with the war! Sheesh, stupid Uchiha…"

My distant cousin stared at me. Something in Minato's brain made him suspicious, and Kushina was resonating with the same feeling. "Have you been pressured into it?"

"What, unlocking my Sharingan?" I asked. She nodded rather seriously. I just shrugged. "My whole graduating class didn't understand why their parents didn't like me. Kagami-sensei was nice about it, said just to let it happen naturally. I bet the elders regretted putting him on me as a jōnin-sensei though. So I did as he said. It was because of that little philosophy I keep getting treated like their black sheep. Obito isn't any different. He would've stayed with the Uchiha if it wasn't for me."

"That's pretty interesting," Kushina commented. Her gaze was…selective in its visible emotion. "You never told me about that."

"No one asks. Clan politics are all about bitter old people, anyways!" I looked around the market, busy as it was five minutes ago. I tucked my gloved hands into my pockets. "But, y'know, he'll be fine. Sakumo is very supportive. I'm sure he'll love his team and job. I think he needs goggles, though."

"Why's that?"

"Save himself the trouble of losing an eye."

"Ah—Haruto! What a horrible thought!" Kushina exclaimed. Minato looked a little ashen, hidden behind her.

I could only laugh. "Oh, come on! You know it's true. Let's go, we're wasting daylight."

I objectively marched off in the direction of the apparel section. Kushina and Minato followed.

They were murmuring to one another the whole time. Fuck, I didn't even bother listening. The orange pair of goggles I eventually found were…appealing.

They reminded me of my otouto. A soft smile pulled at my lips. This will be my present.

It took some debating and coin-counting, but we (Kushina and I) decided to make homemade dango. Minato avoided any sort of contact with me the entire time we (Kushina and I) made any sort of conversation.

The moment I turned my back, I heard Kushina abdominshing him for his rudeness and avoidance. He frantically began to explain—but, shit, I was long gone before then.

My errand was to pick up dango sticks and some ingredients for the sweet sauce. I was certain I passed the store at least once as I wandered up and down the foody part of the market, but it became clear that I was wrong when I rounded a corner. My eyes met the sign of the store I had intended to go to, but mere seconds after spotting it, Saturn—

"Hello, Haruto," she said.

I waved. "Yo."

Her eyes narrowed, glittery and grey in the late afternoon sun. "You are…different," she observed. "What happened?"

I made sure my face showed no hint of my change of perspective, nor my knowledge of Zetsu's intentions. "I finally realized I was an empath," I said. "A powerful empath."

She nodded sagely. "Yes, you are," she agreed. "It's a formidable power. As time goes on, you will be able to harness it as a tool, or a weapon."

"Yeah, okay." I snorted in disbelief. "Empaths only feel. Nothing else can be done."

Saturn made no move to correct me. "You have a new power, don't you?"

"What?"

"A new power."

"Um. I unlocked my Sharingan…"

Saturn smiled slightly. "That is wonderful news. Congratulations, Haruto."

"Oh, thank you." I hadn't expected her to smile at something like that.

"Enough of the small talk, though. I wish to ask a favor of you."

I felt myself deflate a little. Of fucking course. Use me more, won't you? Fucking bitch. "Go on…" I said steadily.

"You have an above average understanding of fūinjutsu, do you not?"

"I do. Kushina has taught me what I needed to know. I'm not a master, though. Not like her and Minato."

Saturn nodded in understanding. Her eyes were distant, and thoughtful, and it was most definitely a new look. Something was bothering her. "I see," she muttered. She held out her hand, and a small scroll manifested. "Take this. Use your Sharingan to study it. Right now."

Huh? Excuse me, but—

"Haruto, stop thinking. Do as I say. This is important."

Reluctantly, I took the scroll and unraveled it. I begrudgingly activated my Sharingan, and began to study the writs. People passing by didn't spare a second glance. But I was done quickly. A once-over, and everything she wanted me to know was in my head. "Okay. Done. What now?"

"Keep this knowledge to yourself," Saturn instructed me. "In time, you, Kushina and Minato will be assigned a scouting mission with high chances of combat. This mission will be decisive in what is to happen during this fragile Third Shinobi War."

"Why?"

"Because I say so," she pointed out. "You will run into Iwa-nin trespassing in Fire Country territory. You'll have to kill them, and then you will continue to the border for your scout mission. You'll be deep enough in Lightning Country to run into this landmark—it is called Graveyard Mountain. Your job is to draw all those symbols into at least one bone of a creature there."

"Eh, why?" I raised my brow. Graveyard Mountain sounded ominous enough. Did I really need to disrespect the dead?

"Because, Haruto, I say so," she snapped. "This is important. The Jūbi must not be revived. It's up to you to decide the future. This is a turning point in hidden history, and I expect you to do it."

I felt my finger involuntarily twitch for my kunai pouch that wasn't there. What kind of fucking expectation was that? "Fine," I growled. "I'll do it. What do these symbols do?"

"It landlocks the location. Any attempts to change reality there will be effectively stopped," she explained. "Whether it be through dimensional changes, or time changes, it will not be changed nor touched."

That did not sound good. Why would anything need to be locked in all timelines and all dimensions? I crossed my arms. "So, you're asking me to do some celestial stuff," I concluded. "And why can you not do it, hm?"

"Deities must not interfere."

"You're telling me what to do!" I cried. "What the fuck do you mean you can't fucking interfere?!"

Saturn gave me a steely glare. "Do as I say, not as I do," she spat. "I will be certain to make your life a living hell if you do not do as you are told."

I sneered. "Fuck you!"

Without realizing it, I had reactivated my Sharingan. But people were staring now. Saturn was gone, and the scroll was still in my hand. I let my eyes fade back to black, and huffed.

Fucking all-powerful beings, am I right? Absolute cunts.

Whatever, though. They'll pay for making me their stupid fucking pawns.

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