Chapter 22

Narnia

"Re-reprieve," Meri panted. "I need water please."

Lucy halted her assault, allowing Meri a moment to breathe and rehydrate. Then they sat for a moment in the cool shade.

"You're getting much better, but you're still slow on the follow-through," Lucy said.

"And I need to work on my stamina," Meri added.

"Maybe you should take your guard up on his suggestion to begin running with him?" Kou said.

"Well maybe if my guard didn't run at first light, I would," Meri retorted playfully.

Lucy laughed. "You take after your mother in that respect, I've noticed. She likes to sleep in too."

"You don't know the half of it."

The sound of laughter rang through the air. They looked over to see Edmund lifting Lena as Sara cheered. There was no telling what was really going on, especially with Sara's imagination. Meri couldn't recall ever having an imagination as vivid or as active as Sara's.

"They are so cute together," Lucy said. "I've waited a long time to see one of my siblings this happy."

"Yeah, it's nice to see Mamma happy again as well. It reminds me of the way she was before."

"Before what?"

"I…I just mean before we got here," Meri said hastily. "Mamma was miserable when we arrived," she continued. "And she pretty much stayed that way until Christmas a few… wait, how long has it been since Christmas?"

"About four moon cycles I think. Why?"

Meri grinned wickedly.

XXX

Lena flexed her fingers with a grimace and massaged her hand before the pain could spread up her arm. She contributed the mild tingling pain to the fact that she had been sewing for over an hour when she was long out of practice. It seemed reasonable enough to her. She couldn't explain away why she felt the same tingling pain in her knees and feet, however, and she absolutely refused to think about it.

"You do know that the tailor could handle that for you, don't you?" Edmund asked, looking up from his desk momentarily.

"I can manage. I'm nearly finished anyway."

"What are you even doing?"

"Letting out the hem on a few of Sara's dresses. She's grown four inches since we arrived. I think she's going to be tall like Meri."

"Four inches? Really?!"

Lena nodded and held up the dress as evidence.

"We're going to have to strap some rocks to her head to stop her from growing."

"That sounds highly implausible, my King," Nalsa commented from her spot in the sun. "Does that work on human pups?"

"Not likely, no," Edmund replied.

"Then why would you suggest a strategy that is sure to fail? That is unlike you."

"It wasn't a real suggestion, Nalsa; it was just a human phrase. My…my dad used to say it to me before he…went away."

Edmund grew silent and his eyes distant as he stared at the empty air before him. He'd been remembering more of his life in the other place lately or trying to at least. Lena wished she could help, but she knew very little about his parents, only that they had died in a railway accident before she could meet them.

"Perhaps it works better than you think."

There was a beat of silence that followed Nalsa's comment before Edmund replied. "I take offense to that, She-Wolf."

"You should not, my King. It was a mere statement of observation. You are among the shorter males of your species I've seen."

Edmund's eyes narrowed but Nalsa remained unfazed. "I don't appreciate the laughing either." He turned his attention to Lena.

"Aww…Poor bambino got his feelings hurt." Lena pouted

Edmund put down his quill with a huff and crossed his arms. "Yes I did, and I think you should come to kiss it and make it better."

Lena grinned and pushed herself off the sofa.

"Queen Lucy and Princess Merina come with their guards," Nalsa interjected.

"Later," Lena said.

"I'm holding you to that," Edmund replied.

"Oh, I hope so," she whispered before directing her attention to the library entrance enthusiastically. "Lucy! Meri, what can we do for you today?"

"We're not interrupting, are we?" Lucy asked.

"Not at all—"

"—Yes, go away," Lena and Edmund replied at the same time.

"Only a little," Lena amended with a grin. Edmund huffed again.

"Relax, Brother. Lena will make it up to you later."

"Excuse me, daughter in the room," Meri said.

"Sorry, Meri, you'll see for yourself one day."

"Excuse me—"
"—Parents in the room," Lena and Edmund said.

Lucy brushed off their worries with a wave of her hand. "So, Meri told me the wonderful news and I knew we had to do something right away; there isn't much time left."

"News? What news?" Edmund asked.

"Sorry, Mamma. I know you don't like parties, but I didn't realize young Aunt Lulu was so enthusiastic about them."

"A party? Why do we need a party?"

"Oh don't be silly! Of course, there must be a party," Lucy said, ignoring her brother still.

"I'm inclined to agree with Ed." Lena moved closer to him to prove her point. "Why do we need a party?"

"In celebration of course! For the anniversary."

"Anniversary? What anniversary?"

Lena's eyes fell on Meri who shrunk back under her gaze.

"Your wedding anniversary, of course!" Lucy exclaimed. "It will be…how many years again?" She turned to ask Meri.

"Well, that's a tricky one, isn't it?" Lena said, messaging her hands again. "Seeing as how, technically, Ed and I aren't married yet. But we were approaching our sixth year there when we left and it hasn't been a whole year since we arrived yet so how can it be nearly seven?"

"Six years. Seven years." Lucy shrugged her shoulder casually; she didn't seem to notice the stiffness in Lena's. "I suppose the number doesn't really matter. The important thing is that it's a special occasion and it should be commemorated."

"Thank you, Lucy, for bring this to our attention, but I think this is something that Ed and I should discuss in private." Lena's voice was clipped and strained.

"I…" Lucy was cut off sharply by a look from Edmund. "Oh—of course. I understand. You'll…you'll come find me when you're ready to discuss the details? This will be better than the French Villa, I promise."

Lena nodded brusquely and turned away from her friend, much to Lucy's confusion and dismay. There were muffled exits and padded feet crossing the wooden floor followed by the sound of a heavy door closing. Lena knew they were alone; even Nalsa had been asked to guard from the hall. Lena wiped her eyes and approached the window.

"She means well, but she can be a bit overzealous at times," Edmund said as he approached cautiously.

"I know." Lena sighed deeply. "I know she is, especially when it comes to us; she's been that way since the day I met her, treating me like we were already best friends. I think I know why now. And she…she can't begin to understand why this upset me, through no fault of her own."

Edmund nodded as he took the final steps between them. "Why has this upset you?" he asked warily, looking out the window.

Lena closed her eyes. He didn't know. Of course, he didn't; how could he? And how could she tell him that their last anniversary was plagued by her looming death? When she didn't answer though, he came to his own conclusion, and she thought maybe it was best if she let him believe he was right.

"It's because I'm not him. I'm not the Edmund you married, not yet at least."

She kept her silence and he pulled away. Lena knew by his short breaths that he too was angry now. Still, being angry at her had to be better than knowing she would die before they could celebrate six years.

"Please," he begged softly. "Don't shut me out, Ileana."

She said nothing, and he took another step back.

"Fine. Suit yourself. I don't know what more I can say or do to prove to you that I am fully committed to this, to us."

It was only after the door slammed in his wake that Lena finally slid into the window seat and cried.

XXX

"I don't care what other people think. You're all that matters to me."

"I keep trying to tell you that I love you, and you keep trying to break-up with me," he said with a lazy smile.

"What Aslan has brought together, no Man or Beast can separate."

XXX

Lena was still sitting in the window seat when Meri found her sometime later. Lena couldn't be sure how much time had passed exactly, but the patch of sunlight that Nalsa had been lying in earlier had vanished altogether.

"I'm an idiota," Lena said after Meri sat down beside her.

"You are not an idiota, Mamma. You say I get my stubbornness from Babbo; he says I get it from you. I'm doubly stubborn."

"I suppose that is what will make you a great Princess."

"I already am a great Princess," Meri joked lightly, hoping to make her mother smile. When it didn't work she continued in Italian. "This isn't about King Edmund not being Babbo yet, is it?"

Lena's eyes flicked to the door where she knew Meri's Tiger was keeping watch outside. She followed Meri's lead and stuck to Italian. "I can't tell him, Topa."

"Why, Mamma?"

"Why should we both be burdened with the knowledge? It will only cause him suffering and pain. I won't do that to him."

"He already carries the burden, Mamma; he just doesn't know what it is he's carrying. I don't think that's fair to either of you." Lena said nothing and Meri frowned. "Not that it will make any difference, but I don't agree with this decision. I'll respect it, and I understand why you think it's necessary…and I know it's not simply to keep him from hurting either. I think… I think you're afraid, Mamma. And I think it's because, despite your best efforts and your insisting otherwise, sometimes you still think like a Telmarine and you still expect everyone else to as well."

"Perhaps you are right, Merina. Perhaps it is a curse I shall never be free of."

"I don't think that's true."

Lena looked at her curiously. Meri grinned slowly.

"I have an idea. It's a bit…radical for you, and it won't solve all your issues, but I really think it will help…if you agree to it."

Lena and Meri both ended up missing evening meal as they scoured the library for books related to Meri's idea. It was a radical one, really radical…especially for her. Lena wasn't sure if she could go through with it, and yet when Meri invited Kou in for his take on the idea his fur-covered face changed completely; his white eyes simply glowed. Lena knew something like this would mean so much to the Narnians and in turn to Edmund. She would need his help though.

She found Edmund in the side chamber of their room that served as a writing desk; his actual study was located in the library. He was hunched over a stack of documents, quill scribbling on the paper. His hair was disarrayed as though he'd run his hands through it repeatedly, which he likely had as he usually did when he was stressed. Lena leaned against the door frame until he looked up at her. She held her hand out to him.

"Please," she said when he did not move. He slowly stood and followed her into their room where they sat on the small sofa.

"Here you are no more the man I fell in love with and married there than I am the woman there that you fell in love with here," she said delicately. "How can we be? How can we be the same people when so much has happened to us, between us, and around us through the years?"

Edmund leaned back against the sofa, arms folded over his chest in defense. Lena continued on.

"When you first met me there, when we first spoke, I was kissing on some guy—I never bothered to learn their names—in the alley behind the jazz bar I sang in every night. I was using my lips as a distraction while I lifted his pocket watch. It was shiny, gold I believe; it would have fetched me a good sum when I sold it the next day."

"You were a pick-pocket? A thief?" he clarified when she looked confused. "Why?"

Lena shrugged. "Because I could. Because I was good at it. Because they were easily distracted. The jazz bar paid for me to sing. They were fare wages I suppose, but they were only enough for one person to live on. So, I sent them all to Meri in Sicily; I used my earnings from thieving to tend to my own expenses."

Edmund shook his head. "That was dangerous, Lena. The men could have easily gotten out of hand. Then what would you have done?"

"A few of them tried, but I had a knife. A small blade I kept in my clutch. I didn't know how to wield it then, but that didn't matter. If I pulled it out, they were often too drunk to want to bother with me anymore. And if something had happened…I didn't care. I had no self-worth back then. I was broken. Used. If I died then…so what," she said with a shrug. "Who was there to miss me?"

"There was Meri. She would have missed her mother dearly."

"Meri was young. She barely knew me. She would have healed and gotten over it, and, I told myself, she would have been better for it."

Edmund shook his head again, in anger. "You are too hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mother, and Meri most certainly would not have been better off without you."

"I know that now; I didn't then, and that's my point, Edmund. It is only because of you that I was given the chance to find that out. It's because of you that I had the opportunity to grow, to heal, to become the woman, the mother, and the wife I am today."

"The woman I love," he said, taking her hand.

"The woman you fell in love with…here. I am a very different woman today than I was when you met me there."

"Just as I am a different man here than the one you meet in that alley," he said. "We have each changed the other to some degree. I already feel like I am a different man today than when we first dueled on the training grounds."

"Yes, you are much more open to the impossible possibility of us."

He chuckled and ran a hand over his face. "I think I understand now. Ugh. And I am so sorry for getting upset with you earlier. I should not have walked out on you like that."

"You don't have nearly as much to apologize for as I do," Lena said leaning into his side. "I am sorry for the part I played as well."

"All is well, Mi Amore. All is well." He kissed her forehead as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I wish that were the case, but there is more. Meri came back, sometime after you left, and she helped me to realize something. I am a Telmarine, and I have been running from that and what it means to me for most of my life. And I'm tired. I am so very tired of running from what I am."

Lena sat up in her seat and turned to face Edmund; his hand slid down her back.

"That's when Meri suggested I undertake The Bonding."

"What?" Edmund sat up too.

"The Bonding, it's an old Narnian custom where…"

"I am familiar with the ceremony, Lena. But…are you? Do you know what it entails?"

Lena nodded. "It was mentioned in one of her lessons; we researched it together. I know what it involves, and I know how difficult it may be for me, but… I don't want to be a Telmarine anymore. I wish to become Narnian, and I would very much like it if you would become my Bondmate."

"Lena, I… I don't know what to say." He took her hands in his. "I can't tell you how much it thrills me to hear you say this."

"Just say you'll do it."

"Yes! Yes, of course, I will. I do. I am. I will be your Bondmate, now and forever."

One cannot simply say they wish to become a Narnian and be done with it, especially if one was so adamantly opposed to Narnians as Lena was. They must immerse themselves, figuratively and quite literally in some cases, in the Narnian lifestyles. Lena had to open herself up and accept the Narnians as they were for what they were, and they had to do the same for her.

And so, Lena, with Edmund at her side, hunted with the Wolves on the full moon. She swam with the Naiads in the Great River. She stargazed with the Centaurs in the dead of night when all she wanted to do was sleep until in the early morning hours in the hazy dawn she saw patterns and images she'd never seen amongst the stars before, images of her daughters laughing and playing, of ruling and taking husbands, of living a life happy and whole. She forged jewelry with the Dwarves in their mines, and she danced with the Fauns through the woods.

And then, after the hunting, the swimming, the stargazing, the forging, and the dancing, Lena and Edmund underwent a hand-fasting with the Dryads. They pledged their lives and their hearts to Narnia and to one another while the Dryads entwined their limbs around them. Then before all of Narnia, they were declared Bondmates.

"What Aslan has brought together, no Man or Beast can separate."