*waves nervously* has- has it really been a year since I've seen you all? Oh dear, I am very sorry about that... I intended to update over summer but I got sick :( Then I got busy.. and I'm sure you don't want to hear the rest xD If it makes you feel better, this was not the only story I failed to update within a year... anyway...
But dear readers, I do hope you all have remained strong during these times *sending hearts*
Much love!
The only thing worth doing is what we do for others. – Charles Kingsleigh
It would always be a shock to Alice to see her mother so fragile and small on the large bed. She swallowed down her fear and went to her side, kneeling as she had when she returned from India. She grasped her hand and kissed her knuckle. "Mum, I'm here. What is it you wanted to tell me?"
Mrs Kingsleigh smiled sadly as she took in her daughter's drained features. "Oh dear, I am sorry for worrying you. You should be home without worry."
She found it in herself to smile. "Think nothing of it. I only wish for you to get better."
Helen's eyes were soft – she couldn't speak the inevitable truth, not when it had been repeated again and again. She weakly squeezed her hand and hoped her headstrong girl would not run at her words. "Margaret has told me about your talk."
The desperate need to hear her mother's voice left her. "Oh," was all she managed. She could feel her face closing off.
"Please, Alice. Even from my place in here, I can feel the tension between you two."
Alice turned away. "We did speak some nasty words to one another," she admitted quietly. "I don't expect her to ever forgive me."
Her mother gave a sigh. "I do not think that is true. She is your sister. She only worries for you."
"She worries I will end up an old spinster." She winced for the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them.
Mrs Kingsleigh chuckled and ran her thumb over Alice's knuckle. "That is in the back of everyone's mind, you know," she lightly teased.
But Alice couldn't help but hear the truth ring out. She turned to her again and tried to give a smile… but she knew it did not reach her eyes.
"What is it, my dear?" she asked with concern. "What is ailing you?"
The yellow-haired girl took a breath – the most convincing story she would tell in her entire life was about to begin. "Much to Margaret's disbelief, I have thought about it- perhaps I wasn't ready to share it with her just then- and well, I should find someone to settle with." She smiled a bit girlishly and attempted at humor, "I wouldn't become that old spinster, and I know you wouldn't want me to be alone for the rest of my life."
Mrs Kingsleigh blinked but recovered. "Oh? And who are you considering?"
"Mason." She bit her lip when her mother raised an eyebrow. "He's… familiar and already in my life."
"I thought you despised him. Do you not still?" She looked skeptical. "My dear, when you set your heart on loathing something, I imagined it could never change."
"I did despise him, there's no denying that," she began. "But during the trip to India and back-" She schooled her features and aimed for a wonderous and besotted look as she 'recounted' the past. "We had a run-in with pirates. He refused to leave my side- you know, when I was off being brave."
Mrs Kingsleigh lightly smiled.
"They had gotten the better of us for a moment, and he fought hard to stay by my side." She theatrically looked away. "I had thought then, that he was putting on an act- letting me believe he had a soul when in a reality I dreamed up, he wanted the Wonder for himself." She glanced in the direction of her mother and licked her lips. "And when we returned and heard of- he offered his help."
Her breath caught on its own accord. "Mum, he has no ulterior motive for wishing to help me. I've understood it now. He's confirmed it for my paranoid mind. He only wishes to see me well and- sane throughout this whole matter." She squeezed her mother's hand. "It's truly made me see him in a different light."
"My dear, is this what you really want?" Helen asked carefully.
"It is," Alice said most convincingly. "I know I was against him in the beginning because I wanted to set course to my own life. You all approved of him, and I now know I have been blind for far too long. Oh, he wasn't ordering me to sit at home while he captained the Wonder. It was he suggesting I rest and smell the roses, take life easy for once in my busy life."
Her mother chuckled fondly.
"I think he is the rock I have been missing. He is the very man to wrangle me as I'm sure you would put it," she added with her mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "He is patient and kind and… his very presence has suddenly given my stomach weird stirrings. He.. he is something I'm associating with home now." She illuminated that wonderous look and gripped her mother's hand in a desperate and hopefully lovesick manner. "I know he and I can make things work. I see my future with- no other."
She inwardly cursed at her slight pause, and she did not like the way her mother's face was a tad unreadable. She smiled contently.
"So, you have chosen him?"
"Yes, and I know I will be happy with him," she said – well, almost pleaded.
"Well, that is truly wonderful news!" Margaret breathed, coming into the room.
Alice couldn't help the way her shoulders tensed at hearing the woman. She would have greatly appreciated it if Margaret didn't listen in at doors.
"Yes, it is," Mrs Kingsleigh agreed. She smiled softly at Alice and lifted her hand to her cheek. "My dear, I'm so very proud of you. And I would be no less proud of you if you set course of your own life and in time, married out of love."
The younger was careful not to give away any true emotion. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Mum, but thank you."
Margaret looked up. "You are to marry Mason, then?"
"Yes," came the too small reply. She cleared her throat – feigning it was her voice that had given out on her. "I have been very wrong about him. He is the man I have dreamed of and so much more. I was too stubborn to see it."
"That you were," Margaret harrumphed. "But that settles it! I'm sure we'll all hear of the official announcement soon! Perhaps we could even try for a winter wedding!"
Alice smiled brightly – or at least tried to – and nodded. "Yes."
"Margaret, do send for Mister Harcourt. There are a few things about my will I wish to discuss," Mrs Kingsleigh shared.
"Of course," her eldest nodded before leaving the room.
The younger tried not to outwardly cringe. Great, she was no doubt to add Mason to the will so he could get some share of something. Oh what a hole she had dug herself into this time.
"Come my dear."
Her mother's voice pulled her out of her reverie – sulking, rather. Alice noticed she gestured to the empty spot on the bed.. the place Father used to sleep. She gave a curious frown. "Mum?"
Mrs Kingsleigh's fingers patted the space. "Come, there are things I wish to tell you."
She swallowed – things her mother wished to tell her. The simple sentence only drove the knife in her heart further for there wouldn't be many more opportunities left for praise and sentimental words because this illness could take her at any point. She daintily slid onto the bed and rested her head on her mother's chest.
Beat-beat. Beat-beat. Beat-beat.
Her steady heartbeat.
Alice's own stuttered a moment as she so dreadfully imagined the day it would stop. She closed her eyes briefly and willed away the terrible picture. She instead held on to this comforting and reassuring sound. She sighed quietly and draped her arm over her mother's middle.
Helen placed her hand over her daughter's while the other ghosted through her wavy blond hair. "My darling girl," she began quietly. She ran her thumb over Alice's knuckle. "My Alice."
"Mum," she heard herself respond. A lump began to form in her throat.
"I just want you to know I am very proud of you, dear."
Alice's mouth twitched.
"Not because you've told me you and Mason are to be married, but because of the decisions you have made in your life." She sighed, "I know we've had our ups and downs, but there is nothing in this world I wouldn't trade you for. You and your sister. Both of you different but both equal. And I love you both dearly."
She sniffled.
Mrs Kingsleigh smiled sadly and stopped petting Alice's hair, just holding her daughter close. "Don't cry, my dear. Everything is going to be alright."
A small hiccup of a sob escaped.
"When I'm gone, you will be taken care of. You will be loved and cherished."
Alice nodded.
"I can rest peacefully knowing there will be someone to wrangle you."
She let out a light laugh.
Mrs Kingsleigh faintly squeezed her hand. "Hold true, my darling. Hold onto your spirit. Do not let a man dampen that spirit. If any man does, he is not worthy of your smile, of your heart."
She wiped away her tears and sniffled again.
"Let him encourage you. Let him worship you. Find your equal, my darling. Find him, and when you do, hold onto them… and do not forget they exist – that was a flaw your father had until the end."
Mason.
She nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment, afraid it would reveal her true sadness.
"I know Margaret mentioned a winter wedding," she continued. "Do not rush things, Alice. I am plenty satisfied to hear of your choice and soon your engagement. Love is not to be hurried – the perfect moment will come."
Alice held on tighter and buried her face in her nightgown. "Thank you, Mum. Thank you."
When Mister Harcourt arrived and Margaret shooed Alice out, the young Kingsleigh found she couldn't move from the hall. She turned her head toward the speaking behind the door though she wasn't paying attention – she couldn't hear their words. Her eyes flicked up and saw her sister watching her. She offered a brief and vague smile before finding her footing and continuing down the hall.
"I have to ask," her sister spoke.
Alice stopped walking. She turned slightly.
"Have you told Mason about your decision?"
The younger briefly closed her eyes then shook her head. "No, I haven't. I wanted… Mother to approve before." She looked toward the front of the house. "Where is he, anyway?"
"Down at the docks. Said he had business to discuss with the crew."
She pursed her lips and replied with little kindness in her voice. "Thank you." She reached for her coat before leaving the house.