Guys, I can't wait for my birthday tomorrow! I'm gonna be 19 years old and old with saggy arms and legs... I want my childhood back so badly! Ugh...
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter *kisses*
chapter forty-six
Sam's POV
If I had to choose two words to describe Freddie Benson, it's My Nub.
I don't know where to begin to describe how Freddie Benson is the reason why I keep working hard, why I smile every time I see him, and why he makes me a better person. Well, when I need to be of course.
Earlier was the day when my life changed. I finally told Freddie how I felt after months of figuring it out and he wasn't mad at me anymore after I told him. Then we came home and had the best time of my life; I made love to the man who never gave up on me for anything and the man who I would sacrifice my life for.
Fredward Benson.
When I think of him I just smile... he makes me happy because I can be myself with him like we've been doing for years and he would make me feel comfortable when there's a chance. He's the definition of a gentleman. I'm so glad I met this nub and I'm glad that our mothers were friends to lead us to today.
Those months of struggling have finally come to an end. Freddie and I talked about our fears and feelings about being with one another, and I never felt closer to him in my life.
What really went crazy was when I came to subway and confessed everything to Freddie in front of customers. But you know what? I don't regret that one bit because I wouldn't have Freddie listen to me if I've waited and just done it right away like Carly instructed me to do. Carly helped me a lot for making me express my feelings about him and had me go to Freddie and tell him how I felt.
Everything made sense at the end when I couldn't figure out why I've been having these weird feelings but felt amazing. Again, Freddie is someone I never thought I would have in my life... he's too good for me like I said before — he can literally have any girl he wanted, but he chose me. He chose the girl who can be a bitch to people but still can be caring to the ones who deserve to be treated right.
Freddie has dealt with me for twenty-one years and he's still the best friend I've never had.
And he's the best thing that's ever happened to me...
It's 9:04 pm; Freddie and I are making up the bed after sleeping in it for hours together. Sleeping with Freddie while his arms were around me felt sensational, I loved sleeping in his arms since it makes me feel safe knowing he's by my side and I'm by his when he needs me.
What Freddie talked about in bed made me notice again how sad he can be when he's not playing around when it comes to his feelings, and that's something I've never seen in a while since the incident with talking about his father. I don't know why someone would leave him, especially at a young age. Freddie counted on his dad, but the grown man left him behind because he couldn't take his "family" anymore. He's a bastard... I wish I can chop his dick off so he can learn his lesson.
The things I would do for Freddie just to see him happy forever. I know that's probably impossible to do, but I don't want to see him upset about anything. I don't like that sight of him. He deserves to be happy no matter what the cause is.
At the end of the day, he will always be my nub.
Once we finished tucking the blankets, we exit out of his bedroom, went to the living room and I sat on the couch while Freddie strolls to the kitchen with a glum look on his face.
"Ugh! I'm starving. Sam, do you want something to eat?" Freddie calls in a far distance.
"Yeah, thanks!" I answered, pulling my feet on the couch, leaning my head on my knees while I grabbed the remote and turned on the T.V. As I hear Freddie opening and closing the microwave, I push the up-arrow to switch the channel to find something good to watch as nothing is ever on this late at night.
After a couple minutes of finding a channel, I found a show called Totally Terry. This show is bullcrap, and I don't get the reason why it's still on; it's filled with lame jokes that don't make sense, terrible actors, and just bad dialogue. I remember watching the first episode of this show years ago and I hated it, now I just make fun of it when I can.
I hear footsteps coming in the living and I look up seeing Freddie holding two bowls, walking to the couch. He sits next to me as he extends the white bowl to me with a smile on his face. "For you."
I look in the bowl and saw the leftover Beef Stroganoff that we made a long time ago. "Oh wow, I forgot we had that." I chuckled, taking the bowl from his hand and took the fork in my hand pushing the food back and forth to get a good amount for me to bite on.
"Yeah, I didn't feel like making anything, so I just warmed that up." He shrugged, taking a bite of his stroganoff.
"I don't mind," I lift the fork to my mouth and took a big bite of my food and mentally groaned at the beautiful taste dancing in my taste buds.
"Why did you put on Totally Terry?" Freddie asked cringing as he looked at the television.
"There was nothing on as usual so," I answered taking another bite. "And besides we can just make fun of it, I think this is a new episode and already it's talking about a teenage girl who can't get a freaking date." I laughed.
Freddie watches the TV as the actors are playing their roles horribly and I glance at him with my peripheral vision, seeing him scrunch his eyebrows and nose in disgust. "Yeah, no, Sam." He takes another bite of the food and grabs the remote changing the channel. "We're not watching this shit."
I chuckled and nodded my head agreeing for not watching this tragic thing they call a show. "Alright,"
He flips through the channels until he found a music channel and a song is currently playing.
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
"Oh, I like this song," I said mouthing the lyrics as I hear the soft beat continuing.
"You do?" Freddie asked looking at me while chewing on a bite of the food.
"It's not a song I would listen to every day, but it's not bad." I shrugged, swirling the fork in the occupied bowl.
"Hmm... really?" Freddie takes the last bite before setting the bowl down on the coffee table in front of us. "Then, how about we dance to it?" He asked staring at me with a smirk on his face.
Dance? He must be kidding.
"Yeah right." I chuckled.
"No, come on!" He whined. "I have died everyday, waiting for you, Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more." Freddie sings the lyrics as he stands up from the couch, looking down at me.
Oh my god, he's going nuts.
"Sing with me, Sam!" He grabs the bowl from my hand and sets it on the table, then he grasps his hands to mine as he pulls me up from the couch.
"Freddie no!" I resisted even though I couldn't beat him from his strong hands pulling me away from the soft couch. "You know I don't like to dance."
"Oh, come on, why waste the fun out of it?" He argued as he pulls me to the middle of the living room as the song still plays in the background. "Now just follow my lead and just go with it." He pleaded with a smile on his face.
"I'm gonna hurt you in your sleep," I muttered.
He ignored my threat as he held my arms and wrapped them around his neck, being close together. Our faces are about two inches away from each other as I looked into his brown eyes in warmth... then he cups his hands on my waist gently without breaking eye contact.
His fingers are softly gripping on my waistline making me feel composed. As we stare at each other, the music is still playing as the artist is singing the lyrics beautifully.
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything, take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this
One step closer
Freddie takes my hand, raises our hands in the air, and invites me to go under his arm slowly matching the beat to the music. Then he twirls me back and forth under his arm while I giggle at the movement.
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
He grips his hand to mine while bringing my back touching his chest, as his arm is around my front torso, hugging me from behind. He wraps his arms around me as I enjoy his embrace with his chin touching my shoulder as we sway to the music.
One step closer
One step closer
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
As the song hits its last chord, Freddie and I stopped moving but still kept hugging each other in our close proximity. I can feel his breath hitting my neck through his nose, and it feels relaxing as I rub his lower arm slowly admiring how comfortable this position is.
I love how we can hug together like this and not feel uncomfortable. After a few moments, I hear Freddie sigh as a few words escaped from his lips.
"I love you, Sam..."
Just hearing those words come out of his mouth made me get goosebumps all over my arms, and my heart starting to pound quickly. Everything about this feels different now because I'm in love with this man as he's in love with me, and we've been friends forever. Freddie is the most important person in my life right here, right now.
I lean back a little feeling his chest touching my back, as his heartbeat is beating fast seeping to the back of my shirt. What I would do to hug him forever...
"I love you too." I murmured, tilting my head to the side seeing Freddie already looking at me. I look into his brown eyes up-close and see admiration in them as if he's reading everything about me in secret. My mouth had the urge to go for Freddie's mouth as my head leans over and kisses him, without me complaining.
I turned my body around without breaking lip contact and cupped his face with my hands gently as Freddie's hands are around my tiny waist hugging me wistfully. Our lips move together admiring how soft our lips are and how perfect they fit.
Besides focusing on Freddie's lips, I had a thought that hasn't been fully established. I pulled away from Freddie a little bit and opened my eyes seeing he's opening his as well. He stares at me as the end of his lips lift upwards showing me his adorable grin.
The things this nub can do to me.
Anyway, I have a thought that I had to talk to him about now that cannot wait. I cleared my throat as I still have my arms wrapped around his neck. "Freddie, I know this is sudden, but I just want to know if our... relationship status will change."
He looked at me blankly as he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say. "What do you mean?"
"Like... I know we were friends before, right? So, I'm trying to think what we are now..." I murmured shyly. Hopefully, he is getting the idea to what I am implying. He slightly nods his head after my answer and pursed his lips as he shows me a smirk.
"Now I'm caught up." He said. "Sam, are you asking me if we're dating because I thought it was pretty obvious." He chuckled.
I scoffed and looked at him with my eyes narrowed. "Well, excuse me, jackass. Some girls like it when some guys ask girls to go out with them or ask them to be their girlfriend." I argued trying so hard not to show my arise grin.
"I thought you hate old-fashion customs on a guy?" He asked looking down at me as he waits for my question to be answered.
When I think of old-fashion stuff, I think of those movies where the man acts like a gentleman with their fellow lady. Like opening the doors for them, being polite, lay their jackets in a puddle for the woman to step on so her shoes won't get wet. Something like that is horrible. However, when I look at Freddie, he's a perfect example of an old-fashioned man. He's everything I want...
"Well... I guess it depends on the right person. Like you, you're someone who I wouldn't mind having a chivalry man since they don't exist anymore." I said as Freddie's cheeks are turning red while looking like a kid. "AND you don't even have to try when it comes to that... you're just being yourself. That's one of the reasons what I love about you." I whispered.
He gives me that shy, yet adorable smile that I've ever seen and I smile back because his is contagious. "I guess..." he chuckled.
I rolled my eyes and pulled my arms away from his neck and stepped back a few while his arms disconnect from my body. Freddie looks at me weirdly as I'm about to do something crazy for all of us...
I went down on one knee in front of him as his eyes started to bulge out from his face with his mouth open. "Sam, what the fuck are you doing?" He asked panicking.
"Oh, shut up! Relax. It's not what you think." I remarked as he sighs in relief closing his eyes. I know what he was thinking, but it's not what I was planning on doing. Sure, bending on the floor on one knee means the ONLY one thing, but people can easily do that for a different reason to do it. Like me for instance. "So, I'm going to ask you something," I said looking up at Freddie as he nods his head, afraid what I'm going to say.
"Fredward Benson, finally after all this time, will you be my boyfriend?"
Freddie's lips tug into a smile again as he looks down at me on the floor while I'm pleading him with my eyes for him to answer the serious question. He smirked, and let out a few giggles while he puts his hands on his hips. "God, Sam, what would I do without you..." he whispered to himself, but I heard it anyway which caused a small smile to approach on my face. After a few moments, he stared back at me and dropped his hands to his side as he still has a smile on his face. "Even though, I was supposed to ask you that question... yes, I'll be your boyfriend."
I smiled widely as I stood back up from the ground and made my way to Freddie, jumping on him with him catching me. My legs are wrapped around his torso, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, and his arms around my waist holding me so I wouldn't fall. His warm embrace feels so good... I bury my face in the crook of his neck just loving how we're together in our apartment, not fighting anymore.
"I love this..." I muffled in his neck, but he seemed to hear it as he responded with:
"I love this too." He hugs me tightly, burying his face in my neck.
What would I do without him...
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