So, clearly this is so much later than I ever planned. I am so very sorry.

For some reason, this chapter gave me the hardest time. I reworked it, scrapped it entirely, took a very long break and then finally managed to finish it. I just want to write sappy smut but the plot keeps demanding angst, damn it! ?

A couple notes:

In the last chapter, I made a mistake by having Ben show up in his sweater since his clothes were left behind when he died. I don't know why I thought his death was different but it was the same as others who joined the Force (I'm blaming my total denial of his death lol). I went back and added a couple lines to address it. I'm going to try and add a scene to fix it further but it may stay a plot hole tbh.

This chapter is un-betaed so any mistakes, I apologize. I tried to catch as many as I could.

Thank you all for reading. It makes me so happy that people are enjoying this.❤️❤️

hear my plea (and come save my life)

chapter iii

As the soft dawn light creeps in through the window and across her face, Rey blinks awake. Still caught in the haze of sleep, she forgets where she is for a moment before the events of the previous day rush upon her. Had it only been yesterday?

Rubbing her eyes, she registers that she lays curled upon her side in front of the fireplace. The fire has long since died, allowing the morning chill to invade the cabin. She must have fallen asleep.

Turning over onto her back, she finds Ben sitting behind her propped up against the chair, one knee bent up with a forearm draped over it. His face is slack with sleep, his chin cushioned on his chest and dark hair falling over his brow.

His poor neck , she thinks with no small amount of sympathy. Rey takes in the picture that he makes, languid in his sleep with little huffs of breaths escaping past his lips.

She had had dreams of this, once upon a time. Rey had wondered, if she had taken his hand, would this have been a part of it? Waking each morning next to him, warm and within reach. Passing the nights with him, his nearness chasing away the loneliness that has chased her since childhood— the one she so often finds mirrored within him.

She had pushed the fantasy away, refusing to indulge it most days, that secret piece of her that she was declined to even acknowledge. But in that harsh year of war and training, when exhaustion and weariness that belied her years threatened to overwhelm her, she found it a balm. Something to grasp when everything else had felt like water slipping through her fingers.

It had felt like a weakness then— a shameful yearning to hide away. It wasn't until after Exegol, when it was so harshly ripped away from her that she realized what it had really been.

A hope.

One that at the end of all of it he would be there. That future awaited them, no matter how improbable. That the next time a hand was offered, whether by him or herself, it would be taken. They would choose one another and build something all their own. That was the dream that had kept her going underneath it all.

Until he lay dead within her arms, fading into the Force before her very eyes.

So she had buried it. Like the lightsabers on Tatooine, she sunk it deep within herself and did her best to ignore the aching emptiness it left behind. A wound refusing to close.

And yet, here he was, alive and so close that she could feel the heat coming off him. All she had to do was reach over the handful of inches and take his hand.

So why did the distance feel larger than ever before?

Ben shifts, bringing Rey out from her musings. She watches his breath change as sleep begins to leave him. Even with his eyes still shut, his brow furrows as if already annoyed at the very notion of being awake. Somehow the idea of Ben being grumpy in the mornings brings a smile to her lips.

His eyes slowly flutter open and Rey is captivated by the contrast of his dark lashes against his pale skin. She observes as he gains consciousness, a slow wakefulness that comes over him in waves. When he finally takes in the sight of her, his eyes dark in the low light of the cabin, her hands clench at the fabric of her top from their position atop her stomach.

"Hey." She croaks out, odd embarrassment making her cheeks warm. Rey can only imagine the picture she makes— she had taken down her typical buns last evening before bed and her hair had a tendency to resemble a haystack in the mornings.

"Hey." He responds, his voice gruff from sleep and lack of use, his own cheeks slightly pink. Ben shifts, grimacing as he tries to move his neck. He brings a hand up to rub at it, rolling it to warm up the stiff muscles. He focuses on her once more, still seeming half asleep with his eyes heavily-lidded. "You ready?"

"Yes." She finds herself answering— not entirely sure if she means it about the upcoming day or something more. "I am."

"We use an old Rebel base on Yavin 4 as a sort-of headquarters. After the war, most of the Resistance split up. Some went to Hanna City and Coruscant to help with the rebuilding of the Republic while others stayed to hunt down any remaining First Order loyalists."

They were tramping along the forest floor as Rey explained the logistics of where they were headed and why.

"We'll go there first. All my things, including the Jedi texts are there." She shrugs. "Those seem as good a place as any to start."

Ben nods, as he steps over a fallen sapling, his stride light for a man of his size.

Rey looks up— the sun was almost to its highest point in the sky. They had left the homestead that morning after a large breakfast of eggs and root vegetables sautéed in a skillet. After giving her thanks she had stood to the side to allow M'tork and Ben their goodbyes (M'tork had clapped a hand against Ben's arm as he told him "Come back and tell me some of your stories once you remember them. You've heard enough of mine.").

With mid-day getting close, the forest around them is warm. The scent of it, damp and earthy, surrounds them. The silvery-grey lichen on the trees and the springy moss beneath their feet— all of it delights Rey's senses.

It is not long before she recognizes a small hill. As they reach its crest, the meadow where she had set down the Falcon comes into view. As they come upon it, she can not help but look at Ben to gauge his reaction.

He is looking at the ship with a wrinkle on his nose as if smelling something unpleasant. "Can it even fly?"

She feels all the righteous indignation that always accompanies any disbelief in the legendary Millennium Falcon . "I'll have you know this is the ship that made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs."

Ben continues to look dubious but says nothing more. As they approach the freighter, Rey chews at her bottom lip. Should she tell him more? What if it was able to bring up a memory? But was Han Solo the best place to start? What if it sparked the wrong set of memories?

"What?" Rey's brought out of her wondering at Ben's voice. His face is scrunched in confusion— she must have been obvious in her worrying. "What is it, Rey?"

She focuses on lowering the boarding ramp before turning back to him. Over the hum of machinery, she looks at him through her lashes and says. "The ship...it was your fathers'."

His eyes widened. "My father?"

He looks at the ship once more, reaching out a hand to lay against the worn metal of the hull. "Will he be there? On Yavin?"

Everything within her seizes and her heart aches at the next words she must say. "No." She shakes her head. "He's dead, Ben."

There's a tic in his cheek but no other reaction to the news. He keeps his hand against the metal of the Falcon .

"I could…" Rey pauses, wondering if what she's about to say is the right course of action. "I could tell you about him."

She knows a fair amount, from the stories she heard on Jakku and the ones that Leia would tell, dropping little pieces of her past with Han. Sometimes, she would share moments about Ben as a boy and every time Rey would store them away, secretly (or perhaps not, considering the way Leia always seemed to know more than she let on) grateful for the treasure of them.

She waits a long moment until Ben gives a nod.

Once they're up in the air, she'll tell him all she can.

"How did you know my father?" Ben asks after they enter the proper hyperlane as they sit in the main hold of the ship.

Rey tells him about the Millennium Falcon being on Jakku. About how she and BB-8 and Finn escaped on it. How they ran into Han, who had been searching for it, while he was transporting Rathtars. The adventure they were suddenly thrust upon.

It feels odd to have to tell him these things when before so much had simply been known through the bond.

She had never had to explain Jakku, it's burning sands and pitiless way of life. Ben had always just known. Even when she hadn't wanted him to.

"I'm a prince ?"

"Well, technically. But Alderaan was destroyed before your birth. It was mostly a title." Rey explains.

Ben raises a disbelieving eyebrow. Of all the stories Rey has plied him with today, this seems the most unbelievable. Which is no easy feat in light of the rest of the information Rey has been telling him.

His father, a famous smuggler, and his mother, a princess and senator, both of them war generals. They sounded more like characters from a holo drama rather than flesh and blood people who had apparently raised him. His training in the Force with an Uncle, who had brought a dying order back to life. All of it felt like something he should be reading rather than have lived.

He wishes he could feel something about these amazing sounding individuals— but they're just ghosts in a story he can't remember.

The hum of hyperspace fills the cabin as Rey sits in the captain's chair. From his position in the co-pilot's chair, he watches as she toggles switches and checks lit up buttons. It seems familiar— the routine of flight. Had he flown before? He must have, considering this was his father ship.

But it doesn't explain why, when he'd first seen the freighter, he'd wanted to run in the opposite direction. The sight had made his stomach turn unpleasantly and he couldn't blame it entirely on the fact that the hunk of junk hardly looked space-worthy.

"And they're all gone? My family?"

Rey nods, her hazel eyes having gone shiny at the thought of them. They clearly meant something to her, something deep and personal.

Had it been the same with them?

What had they been? It was one of the questions he most longed to ask but held back. Somehow, it felt too personal when he couldn't even remember the man he'd been before.

Already he was captivated by her, the innate kindness and strength she had shown in the past day. Yet, there were moments when she thought no one was looking that her shoulders would slump and she looked so achingly alone. Was she lonely?

Some piece of him yearns to reach out to her, to reassure that she isn't alone. Would she welcome it? Or would it be overstepping some boundary he doesn't know of yet?

Plus...it was clear to him that she wasn't telling him everything. She considered her words too closely and would often retreat into herself as she seemed to battle over what to say. What was she not telling him?

"Your mother and uncle," Rey continues, "They both faded into the Force after extreme use of it caused their bodies to fail."

"And my father?"

She pauses. Too long. Rey shifts her gaze to stare hard at the control dash in front of her.

"He was killed."

He feels a flash of anger at the words, at the thought of it. Ben fists the fabric of his trousers. "By who?"

Again, a pause. "Kylo Ren."

He shivers at the name. "Where is he?"

Ben wants to find him, to look into the eyes of the one who murdered his father. He feels ridiculous thinking about it. What's he going to do, avenge a long dead man he can't even remember?

Rey looks at him then with an expression he can't decipher.

"He's dead."

The closer they get to Yavin 4, the more Rey's nerves heighten. By the time they are in orbit, she wishes she had something complex to tinker on to distract herself. She's not sure who will even be on Yavin right now. While the odd resistance fighter or mechanic didn't worry her, the higher ups— like her friends— were another story. While it wasn't widely known that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were one and the same, most of the generals and those close to Leia had known.

After the war, they had all started splitting their time between Yavin and Hanna City, which had been chosen as the new headquarters for the new Republic, although Rey least of all.

None of them were apt politicians. Rose had the passion for it but not the social skills, Finn had a magnetic quality that drew people in at least and Poe was trying (and succeeding) to overcome his own hot-tempered nature to become better at the political twists that were often necessary in political games. But Rey, she had never been that good with grand schemes or lofty ideas, she preferred to focus on small everyday problems and the ways to solve them. So she stayed mostly on Yavin while the others traveled back and forth. She occasionally left for an off-world mission.

Most of the everyday running was being done by the D'Acy and Connix who were proving better suited to the job. But there wasn't much of a schedule for when the others came and went.

Rey wasn't sure how waltzing in with the supposedly dead former Supreme Leader was going to go over.

Yes, she was.

Bad. It was going to go over badly.

By the time she put down the landing gear and placed the Falcon onto the ground, she was nervous, jumpy, and a little nauseous. She says to Ben.

"Why don't you stay here for a minute? I'll go in and tell them I brought someone with me. I'll be right back."

He nods in acceptance of the plan. Rey tries for a smile but she's sure it comes out strained. As she opens the hatch, she takes a deep breath, fortifying herself. Unpleasant as this was sure to be, it had to be done. She had lost him once and she wasn't about to let it happen again.

Walking down the boarding ramp, Rey is greeted by the sight of Finn and Rose coming out to meet her from the hangar. Unable to hold back a smile as Finn waves a hand vigorously over his head, she goes to meet them.

As she approaches, Finn scolds. "What did I tell you about radioing every day? Last one I got was three days ago."

She reaches out to hug him and shares a knowing smile with Rose over Finn's shoulder. "Sorry, I got distracted."

"Sure, sure." Finn rolls his eyes as he breaks the hug. "So, how'd it go?"

"Well...here's the thing…"

Just as Rey is trying to figure out the best way to rip off the bacta patch, there comes a disturbance from behind her. Turning, she spies D-O rolling down the open ramp of the Falcon . He must have snuck past while she was greeting Finn and Rose.

Oh no , she thinks.

The droid is squeaking out a panicked mix of binary and stuttering basic, clearly perturbed. She wonders closer.

"Intruder...Friend?" D-O questions.

He must have found Ben aboard the ship and needed classification information. Rey walks the few yards to where D-O is rolling anxiously back and forth, ready to comfort the small droid.

"What…" Finn's question trails off and Rey glances back at him but his eyes are fixed on something beyond her, his complexion having gone ashen. She follows his line of vision already knowing what he is seeing.

Ben. Standing on the open mouth of the Falcon.

The world seems to slow as she looks between the men before flaring back to life at twice the speed before.

"Rey. Watch out!" Finn cries out to her. He goes for the blaster attached to his hip, pulling it out and aiming it at Ben.

"Finn, no!" Without thinking, she reaches out a hand and, with the Force, freezes Finn in place.

"Rey?" His voice is strained, shock evident in his tone. She has never used the Force on him outside of training or battles and never like this. Although not frozen, Rose's posture is equally still beside Finn.

She moves to place herself in front of Finn, directly in the blaster's line of fire. Only then does she release the hold.

"What the hell was that, Rey?" He barks out, as feeling floods his limbs once more.

"Put the blaster down, Finn." She urges. "I can explain."

He grits his teeth as he keeps the blaster raised. "What is he doing here?"

She feels her own temper flare as she takes a step closer. "Put. It. Down."

"Screw that," Finn spits out, even as he lowers his arm, waving the blaster as if to emphasize the point. "You said he had died on Exegol?"

"He did!"

"Then why is Ky—"

"Finn!" She all but yells to interrupt his oncoming tirade. She breathes out and purposefully tempers her tone. "Look, I'll explain everything. I promise. Just...Go to the briefing room...I'll be right there, okay?"

Rey tries for a smile. It feels awkward and pulls at her face strangely.

Finn doesn't move a muscle until Rose lays a hand on his arm. Judging by the tight expression on her face, Finn isn't the only one Rey owes an explanation to. She watches as they disappear back into the hangar bay before turning around.

Ben is closer to her now, having crossed some the distance from the Falcon while her back was turned. As she approaches him, Rey notices how intense his expression is. His hands clench at his sides, his jaw tense. He's ready for a fight. It's a look she's seen so many times on his face in the past that it is almost a comfort.

She stops in front of him. "Are you okay?"

"Pretty sure I should be asking you that." He glares beyond her but when he focuses back on her, his gaze softens. "Are you alright?"

He lifts a hand, almost as if to touch her face, before seeming to think the better of it and lowering it. Rey wants to take his hand, to clutch it to her cheek and never let it go.

Instead, she paints a smile onto her face and shakes her head. "I'm fine."

D-O chooses that moment to roll up to them, seeming to realize the kerfuffle has passed.

"Friend?" The droid asks.

"Friend." Rey repeats.

This satisfies the small droid and he nods his cone shaped head and rolls away— no idea of the havoc he just invoked.

Now, if only everyone else were that easy to convince.

After getting Ben settled in her quarters with promises to return and to clarify everything, Rey makes her way to the briefing room.

It's a small room off the main comm room. It's a slow day on base, only a handful of people milling about.

Rey nods to one or two people in passing but her mind is already on the conversation ahead. When she reaches the briefing room, she inputs the code to open the door, steps in and shuts it behind her.

Finn freezes mid-pace as she enters the room, facing her and crossing his arms over his chest. Rose is seated at the table but just as intensely focused.

"Is Poe around?" She's not sure if having him here is the best idea but if she has to do this, she would rather do it all at once.

"Oh, no, you're not changing the subject that easily." Finn interjects.

"Got called to Coruscant." Rose says at the same time.

Finn shoots her a look of mock betrayal. Rose shrugs helplessly.

It's most likely better. Rey and Poe tended to butt heads even at the best of times and Finn clearly wasn't in the mood to play peacemaker today.

She fiddles with her fingers as she takes a seat at the table. "Not really sure where to begin."

"How about the part where Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader is somehow alive." Finn's tone is stern, not one often directed at her and she finds it stings.

So she tells them, about her dreams, about being called to the planet, about finding him.

"He doesn't remember anything." Rey explains.

"How can you be sure?" Finn had sat down during her speech, his forearms braced against the desk. "If could all be some elaborate farce to get out of serving time for his war crimes or regaining his power. You brought him to a base that houses most of his enemy's secrets. Think of what he could use them for."

Rey shakes her head. "No, I'd be able to tell."

"How can you be sure? You said Ren was a powerful force user? Couldn't he be masking his intentions from you?" Rose inquires.

"No, he couldn't." Rey's refusal is absolute.

Nothing for it then. Just tell them the truth. She thinks.

She focuses down at her hands as she says. "I've told you all before...about the connection I had with Ben, right? Well, it wasn't merely a force connection. It was more than that. We were— we are a dyad. Literally, two halves of a whole. I'd be able to tell if he was lying. His memories are gone."

What Rey doesn't say, because she doesn't think she could make them understand, that even at their worst, when they'd nothing but enemies, Ben had never lied to her. Sometimes much to her frustration, when he'd pick at long hidden truths and not let them stay buried.

She peeks at her friends to gauge their reaction. Rose is calm and hyper-focused, the same way she gets with complex engineering problems. Finn looks like he was just told to wash a Hutt's folds.

"Okay, so fine, he doesn't remember." Finn concedes. "Then why not leave him there?"

The question shocks Rey so thoroughly that she blurts out. "What do you mean?"

"I mean—" Finn weighs out his words. "Why not let him stay there? If he really doesn't remember anything, he could have lived there where no one knew who he was. But here? Here, he is a war criminal. Why bring him back? Why try to make him remember all he has done?"

"I…" Rey gapes. "I couldn't just leave him."

"But why?" Finn demands.

"I owe him everything!" Rey finally snaps. "I'm only alive because of him."

"Wh—what?" Finn's stricken voice asks.

There's so much she hasn't told them about the Battle of Exegol. So much she has never told them about Ben.

Rey is a scavenger by nature, she does not share her treasures lightly. She hordes them— protects them with everything she has. To tell others would be to invite them to view that which she cherished. That was something she couldn't easily do. Not when it was all she could do to keep moving after Exegol.

But she'll have to share, if she wants to keep him now.

"I told you how he turned." Rey begins. "About how he turned away from Kylo Ren and came to help defeat Palpatine."

Finn and Rose nod, the two of them silently waiting for Rey to go on.

"But there's more." She licks her lips and tries to calm herself through the Force. "Ben didn't just die in battle that day."

Tears gather unbidden in her eyes and she blinks them away. "I died. I died and Ben gave up his life for me."

"I wouldn't be here if not for him." Fierce devotion wells up in her for the man they are discussing, the one who has her heart. "I'm bound to him, by circumstance and by choice. I could never leave him."

So, don't make me choose . She doesn't say the words outloud but they are in the air nevertheless.

Rey watches as Finn struggles. She can feel the swirl of emotions in him through the Force. Fear, worry, protectiveness, and guilt all war within him in a complex cocktail.

She thinks of when he grabbed her hand in the marketplace on Jakku. Of how he had been the first to ever ask if she was okay. Rey feels a rush of affection for him, the closest thing she has toa brother. The one who'd been with her from the start of this journey. She doesn't want to lose him either.

After a long moment, Finn merely states. "Do what you want." Before standing and leaving the room.

Once he exited, Rose heaved a heavy sigh. "I'll talk to him. You know he's just worried."

"Yeah. I know." Rey stares another moment at the door before looking back at Rose.

Rose raises an eyebrow. "So, any more secrets you need to share?"

Rey feels a blush burning on her cheeks. She ducks her head in embarrassment. "Ben and I, we kissed. On Exegol. Well, I kissed him."

While she isn't as close to Rose as she is with Finn, this feels easier to admit to her. She ventures a glance at the other woman.

Rose has a soft tilt to her lips, no trace of judgement on her face. "I figured as much."

Still flushing, Rey can't help but let out a chuckle.

Rose stands, brushing her hands over her khaki pants. As she passes Rey, she places a hand on her shoulder. "Just remember Rey, you're not alone. Not anymore. We're here if you need us."

Rey nods as tears threaten to spill over at the words.

Rose gives her one last smile before heading out of the room.

Rose finds Finn in his office, savagely typing in codes as he looks at star-charts.

"You know you're being a bit unreasonable, right?" She inquires of him.

He shoots her a glare before grumbling. "Am not."

Rose can't help but laugh at his petulant tone. Finn is normally so jovial that it always comes as a surprise at how testy he can get.

He sighs and runs over his face. "I'm just concerned. You know how she gets."

Rose crosses the room to his side and perches on the edge of the desk.

"I can't help feeling like this whole situation is going to go badly. How can we be sure he won't hurt her?" Finn looks up at her. "It is not safe."

"We just have to trust her and be there for her." She reaches out to cup his cheek. After a moment, he relaxes into her hand, the tension leaving his shoulders.

"And really, Finn," Rose gives him a gentle smile. "Since when is love ever safe?"

Rose, girl, you the real MVP.