A/N: Happy New Year Everyone! Thank you very much to Jullls and Daydreamer116 for reviewing- this is chapter is for you!

The Dream

Nothing could have prepared me for the way his face crumpled when he walked in and saw me in Edward's arms. He fell back against the door like I had physically struck him and I watched the pain in his face contort into anger. Edward sat up next to me and whispered quietly, "Bella, you need to breathe." I immediately obeyed and felt the white, hot burn of oxygen returning to my lungs. Good. I thought bitterly; I deserved to burn.

His eyes penetrated me, staring straight through me like I wasn't even there and I wished I wasn't. I wished I could sink into the floorboards and disintegrate because I caused the one person who stood by me unconditionally unspeakable pain. "Jake," I begged, my voice hoarse. But what could I ask him for? What could I ask from the person who had already given me everything?

His voice was level and detached when he spoke, "You forgave him? Just like that?" I let it radiate over me and I tried to gather the decency to just let him hate me without a fight. "After what he did to you?" his voice rose substantially and I cringed away from it, futilely trying to escape his words and my betrayal behind them.

When I met his eyes again, he was looking past me with a bitter smile on his face. I couldn't understand his expression until I looked at Edward and saw his body just inches from me, but his eyes glazed over in horror, miles away. Every muscle in my body jerked toward him and I shook his shoulders. His eyes were like saucers, filled with dread and his hands sat numbly in his lap.

"You did that to her," he spit at Edward and everything clicked in my mind with sickening clarity.

"Jacob, please don't," I moaned helplessly. He focused back on me and I felt Edward's body relax microscopically against mine.

"Don't what, Bella? Hurt him?" he sneered, looking back at Edward in disgust. I leapt off the bed and walked closer to him, but he moved back instinctively and I felt something inside me convulse.

"Jake, I just- I just need some time to-" He cut me off with thinly veiled agony in his voice, "To plan our Vegas wedding with Alice?" I felt each word rip into me and I wracked my brain, desperate for him not to leave me.

"You promised," I whispered brokenly, feeling like the true monster situated between a werewolf and a vampire. His eyes softened and he closed the distance between us, leaning his forehead heavily against mine. The warmth emanating from his skin surrounded me and our breaths intermingled. "Just think, Bella. Think about what you want, please." he implored softly. I felt frozen in place as he kissed my cheek for the final time that night and walked out of my bedroom. I heard him tread lightly down the stairs, careful not to wake Charlie and out the front door, still unable to move.

"Bella," I heard Edward's voice, insistent, behind me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I didn't think I could handle the pain I knew I would see there. He gently pulled me to face him and his urgent tone persisted, "Bella, I can go get him." I listened to his words and couldn't fathom them. I didn't deserve either of them.

"No," my voice rang clear, despite everything in my body feeling weak and broken. "Not tonight. I just want to be with you," I murmured, leaning into his chest. He automatically wrapped his arms around me, but I sensed his hesitancy.

"Whatever Jacob showed you doesn't matter; you're here now." I said confidently, willing him to accept it. He nodded weakly, unconvinced.

I took a different tact, resting my hands on his neck and bringing my face close to his, "Edward, are you ever going to leave me again?" As soon as the words left my lips, he growled "never" fiercely. I took a shaky breath and leaned closer until I was directly over his mouth, "Then nothing else matters."

It was like coming up for air after drowning for months. My mouth was frantic against his and he gripped me tightly to him. My hands tangled themselves in his hair and I came up for air gasping, but he simply moved to my jaw. His kisses moved up the side of my face to my forehead, over my eyelids, down the bridge of my nose and finally back to my mouth. I never hated being human more than I did in that moment, because my incessant need for air kept halting me and I never wanted to stop.

He just held me as I let out strangled breaths, watching my dazed eyes watching his. "You're trapped now," I murmured gleefully triumphant. "If you leave after that, I'll never survive." He grinned back at me and kissed my neck gingerly, testing the ability of my heart to leap from its chest.

"I will gladly be your prisoner," he vowed against my neck. I shuddered and allowed myself the temporary bliss of indulging in hope. He would stay with me. I felt like a drug addict reaching once again for heroine, resolved that it was better to go out in a fiery blaze than to ache in want for the rest of my life. Maybe he would leave again and it would kill me, but I could imagine no greater demise than his lips on my skin and the life thrumming through my veins.

"You, are, everything, to, me, Bella," he punctuated each word with a brief, vehement kiss again my lips. I shuddered at the sincerity in his voice and the feel of his mouth on mine. I yawned into his mouth by accident and giggled, a little high from the kiss.

Edward stilled though and my brow creased, staring at him and trying to decipher my error. His eyes were pained as he placed a scorching kiss on my forehead and sighed heavily.

"Maybe my indignation is unjust," he began carefully. "But what the hell have you been up to since I left?" I winced, unsure exactly what Jake had showed him and scared to reveal anything new in my answer. My eyes ran over Edward's face trying to understand if he was upset about cliff diving or my new sleeping habits. Neither were a topic I intended to broach tonight if I could get away with it.

"What...um… exactly would you be referring to?" I asked, feigning ignorance. He growled low in his throat and muttered angrily, "Extreme sports."

Relief coursed through me and I smiled despite myself. Maybe Jacob had showed him the rest and maybe he was saving that onslaught for another night, but I was still grateful for the time to sort out an explanation. His face was incredulous as I began to recount my adventures with motorcycles and cliff diving, editing out the more gory details. He said nothing but his grip on my elbows grew unconsciously tighter with each tale.

"You said you would be careful." he said with great restraint, huffing out each word like an accusation. I thought about my response to that and tried to wipe the emotion from my voice, delivering my retort, "You said you didn't love me."

My mask of emotion wasn't nearly as successful as I intended and we both heard the underlying agony in my voice. He wistfully kissed my lips, trying to convey the depths of his devotion all at once and the results left me excruciatingly dizzy. He finally pulled back to allow me air and I panted shamelessly against his cheek.

He tried to test my level of incoherency and added, "My lie didn't threaten your life." I saw the flash of regret in his eyes as soon as the words were out and his body tightened underneath mine.

"I beg to differ," I said softly, not meeting his eyes. I felt my heartbeat stutter remembering the earth-shattering pain of the last few months without him. He caught my chin and brought my face up to reconnect our eyes and I was bombarded by the blatant sorrow and apology swimming in them. I just nodded, not needing him to say it all over again.

His eyes looked lost for a minute as he gazed over my shoulder. He gripped my face tighter and his voice shook, "You could have drowned."

I shook my head, immediately dismissing the notion. "Jake would never have let me." My confident reassurance seemed to cause him more stress than relief. His eyes darkened considerably and I watched an emotion take root in his features that I had never seen before. Guilt writhed in my stomach as I identified it as jealousy.

"Yes," he began shakily. "And then there's that." I felt my heart plummeting into my stomach as he avoided my eyes. He drew in an unsteady breath and continued, "You love him."

It wasn't a question or an accusation, but it was a simple, raw statement of fact. I stopped breathing as I struggled to formulate a response. I couldn't outright lie and I knew whatever Jacob showed him was particularly compelling, because despite never voicing that truth to Jake, it bled out in every interaction I shared with him. He nodded in acknowledgment of my silence, brushing his hand painstakingly across my cheek.

"It doesn't matter. I love you infinitely more," I vowed adamantly, cupping his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me.

"I haven't- I haven't…" I stuttered on the overwhelming truth of my words. "Breathed without you." I reinforced the point by blissfully gulping in the air between our mouths and he gave me a small smile.

"And here I was thinking that I took your breath away." I was instantly grateful that the mood was lightening. I intended to absorb and capitalize on whatever time I still had with him. Tomorrow. Forever. Regardless, I would make it count. I reconnected our lips and at some point, I think I fell asleep against his mouth.

When I became aware of my surroundings again, I was in the forest near the cliffs and a heavy sense of dread overcame me. I whipped my head around to catch a glimpse of her fiery red hair streaking by. Victoria.

I could hear her high, musical laugh echoing off the trees around me, but every time I settled my eyes on her, she flitted away. A fierce growl caught my attention to the right and I saw Jake emerge in his russet coat from the trees. I wanted to rush to him, but in typical nightmarish fashion, my legs felt like bricks.

"Jake." I called out to him and he sprinted over, nuzzling his furry head against my cheek. I held him tightly around his neck, mostly out of fear but also because I was grateful to have him back at my side. His eyes conveyed his fierce devotion and he whined affectionately in my embrace.

The tree to our right crashed loudly as Victoria slammed down on it, launching from its branch straight at us. I felt the snarls erupt in Jake's chest as he crouched protectively in front of me. Her blood-red eyes met mine and she smiled wickedly when her body collided with Jake's. I heard a sickening crack and his soft whimper before his body went limp against mine.

"Jacob!" I screamed and it felt like every muscle in my body shredded all at once. My chest heaved as I cried out his name again in absolute agony, frantically clutching where my heart used to be. It was like the very Earth was shaking with the depths of my anguish.

"Bella! Bella honey please hear me!" His voice finally penetrated my consciousness and I realized it was his hands shaking my shoulders, not the collapse of the world.

"Jake?" my voice was barely a croak. My anxiety lessened with each passing second as I noted more of reality, like his persistent breaths against my cheek and his hard grip on my collarbone.

"Yes honey, it was just a bad dream. I'm here now," he clutched me to him, reaffirming his words. My breathing became progressively steadier as I found purchase on reality in the crook of his neck. My lips dragged over his pulse point, indulging in the feel of his rapid pulse and its proof that he was alive.

"Bella." He said it roughly, but didn't follow up with anything more. I finally lifted my head to see his warm brown eyes looking back at me in concern. A creaking sound nearby made me jolt in his arms, wrapping myself fearfully around each of his limbs and burrowing into his chest.

"Easy honey," he whispered in a soothing tone. "It's just Charlie checking on you. He was so scared when you started again." I flinched in his arms, knowing my poor father was probably on the verge of a heart attack because of me. I hadn't woken up screaming in a long time and I felt the familiar burn in my throat. I wondered for a moment if it was vaguely similar to bloodlust.

Bloodlust. "Oh my god, where is he?" I practically shrieked and Jake stiffened.

"He, uh, left for the night but he'll be back in the morning." I could tell how hard it was for Jake to try to reassure me about Edward and guilt festered in my chest knowing how difficult it must have been for Edward to leave as I cried for Jacob. Charlie shuffled again outside the door and I realized how deeply I was hurting all the men I loved.