"Carter, what in the hell is this?"
"Hmm?" Sam asked absentmindedly from her spot on the couch where she was typing a report on her computer.
"This." Jack said, waving a paper in front of her.
Sam looked up briefly, glancing at the paper she'd left on the nightstand. "Oh, that? It's a schedule."
"I can see that." Jack crossed his arms in amused irritation as Sam went back to typing her report. "Sam."
She sighed, closed her laptop, and turned to look at her husband. "Yes, Jack?"
"What's the schedule for?"
"I'm pretty sure you know the answer to that question, Jack."
"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it."
"Jack."
"Sam."
She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She had a funny feeling she was never going to live this one down. "It's the schedule for my cycle."
"And these little hearts here on certain days?" Jack watched as she squirmed under his stare, her blue eyes glaring at him. He was really enjoying this.
"Those are the days I'm ovulating." She turned and opened her laptop again, clearly avoiding his gaze.
"Sam."
"Yes, Jack?" Irritation coloring her voice.
"Why did you schedule our sex life?"
"Jack, do you want to have a baby or not?"
"I didn't realize that was something we had to schedule. I know you love schedules, Carter, but this is a bit much."
Sam sighed. "It's just so we know which days will give us the highest chance."
"Uh huh."
"We don't have to follow the schedule that closely, Jack. It's just a guideline."
"Ah. Well in that case." He grinned evilly as he pulled the laptop from her lap and replaced it with his body.
"Really, Jack?" Sam complained, trying to look irritated.
"Well, Carter, it says here we should start tomorrow. What's it matter if we're a day early?"
"You're incorrigible." Sam said laughing.
"No giggling, Carter."
"Yes, sir." Sam said, claiming his lips before he could protest her usage of the title.