Liz had totally lost it with the Brigadier. Their, well what could she call it a Romance? Liaison? Was over! God his heart was granite! The man had no feelings. Whatever had she been thinking imagining he was worth loving. He was as she had first suspected a military buffoon.
The funny little man in the strange clothing with a Beatles hair cut had sat down next to her.
He quirked a smile, "Man trouble?" he asked.
She was about to walk away, but his eyes, his eyes made her sit back down.
"Yes, well, well he's impossible. It's like trying to love an iceberg."
"Mmm, buries his feelings deep does he?"
"Feelings, what feelings, he's just a Soldier! On duty 24/7! I'm sure his idea of kissing is in the military hand book." Liz spat that out!
"You're a scientist, do you believe in nature or nurture?" the stranger asked.
Liz thought "A bit of the first a lot of the second. In my opinion!" she said determinedly.
"So what happened to your man to make him like he is?" The shabby man asked.
"Christ, that'll be covered by so many D notices even he wouldn't be able to find out" Liz snorted.
"No, but the TARDIS scanners could show you!"
"TARDIS?" Liz said looking shocked.
"Yes, my dear, TARDIS!"
"So are you the next Doctor?"
The little man smiled, "No I'm the previous one!"
Still unable to look away from him Liz walked with him towards a blue police box. He went inside and she followed him inside .
Liz looked around the central console was in place and the whole place seemed a lot neater then the TARDIS she was used to.
The TARDIS lifted off. The Doctor beckoned her over to a monitor on the wall.
Liz looked at the monitor.
Two young boys in short pants and obviously hand knitted jumpers were walking in silence through a wood. Eventually breaking through into a clearing. They were near the edge of a ravine, it was there that they found another boy, stood looking over the edge.
The Doctor froze the scene. "The youngest boy," he tapped the monitor "is Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart aged 9. This his friend Raymond and this," the Doctor pointed to the boy stood on the edge of the waterfall " is Alistair's older brother James, who he idealised."
The scene started up again.
"James was standing at the edge of the Falls, looking down at the water crashing into the stream below. Raymond and Alistair stopped, both shocked at the look on James's face. He turned so he was facing them, his expression crumbling as he fought back tears.
'It was meant to be you,' he said, his voice shaking. Neither Raymond nor Alistair knew who he was addressing. 'Maha came for you, but he found me. I'm where he began.' He looked around, his eyes seeming to notice the long drop beside him for the first time. "He tells me I can't be happy. Defeat comes in all shapes is what Maha says."
Raymond stepped towards his old friend. "What…" He swallowed, scared suddenly. "What do you mean?"
For the first time it seemed like James was really seeing Raymond. "I'm sorry," he said. "I should never have listened to him!"
"No," Alistair whispered beside Raymond. 'Don't go!"
What was Alistair talking about? Liz wondered where was his brother going to go?
Liz watched the monitor in horror as James jumped. They saw Ray rush to the edge of the gorge, trying to see where James had gone. They saw Alistair running down the side of the gorge. Raymond was calling after him, but Alistair didn't listen, or didn't hear.
The next scene they saw Alistair was stood by the stream where it joined the River Fowey. The water was wild there, moving fast. Alistair was looking up and down stream desperately. The fast moving water suddenly dredged James' body up, it caught on some broken branches. Alistair ran towards it, tears on his face. There was also look of determination. Liz saw Alistair kneeling by the edge of the water, trying for all he was worth to reach and grab his brother. But his arms were too short.
Liz bit back a cry of anguished as she saw the young Alistair screaming and fighting the adults who were trying to pull him back to safety!
Liz looked at this strange Doctor, she blinked back tears.
Liz felt the TARDIS move forward.
A gangling young Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart, aged about 16, was sat at the breakfast table. He was looking out of the window, his spoon held stationary, raised half way to his mouth. Liz saw through the window a telegram delivery boy walking up the garden path. The door bell rang. A minute later Alistair heard his mother scream. Liz saw the spoon fall back into the bowl.
The older Raymond was sitting with his younger friend. Alistair was just sitting on the garden wall looking up at the cottage where his mother was being comforted by her friends and neighbours.
"It only said he was MIA. Maybe they will find him." Raymond said trying to comfort his friend.
Alistair looked at his friend sadly and shook his head. "He's dead Raymond, believe me."
Mrs Cooper came out of the cottage, "Ray, run and get Dr Ross! Alistair, we are going to ring your Grandfather. Your Mum isn't in a good way!"
"Can I sit with her Mrs Cooper?"
The woman squeezed his shoulder. "Best wait until Dr Ross has seen her."
Alistair's head dropped to his chest.
Liz's heart was almost breaking. She just wanted to hug this young boy.
The TARDIS jerked again and this time the monitor showed a young man sat in a college dorm
"Oh, damnation, Jumbo!" the young Alistair said.
The other student, draped lazily across the chair, went as far as to open one eye and blink before pronouncing: 'Whatever it is, I didn't do it. I probably wasn't even in the country when it happened.' 'No,' growled Alistair.
'This isn't something you've done for once.' 'Told you.' 'It's HM Government.'
'Oh, well, everything is their fault.' Jumbo's nose twitched, so he scratched it. 'What have they gone and done now?'
'They've called me up, Jumbo. National Service!' Alistair waved the letter he'd just opened. A second slip of paper wafted to the floor and he snatched it up. It was a railway warrant, made out to Salisbury. At least he wasn't expected to pay his own fare to purgatory.
'Called you up or sent you up? There is a difference, you know.' 'Damn it, this isn't a joking matter. This is serious.' Jumbo shook his head. 'Comedy is when you slip on a banana peel,' he uttered. 'Tragedy is when I slip on a banana peel.'
Alistair glared at his roommate. "Why they had to call me up now, I mean Doris, well I think she could be the one for me Jumbo and she decided to go out with me rather than George. If I get sent away the field will be clear for him!"
"You better get a promise off her before you go then, and you better practice writing the old love letters!"
Alistair looked even more downcast
'It's the last thing I want,' Alistair replied, bitterly. 'I want to do something useful. I had the future all mapped out. Get a place at a good school, marry Doris and raise three kids. But teachers, it seems, aren't considered essential, unless it's teaching recruits how to kill a man seventeen different ways with a shoelace. I mean, Jumbo – can you see me as a mindless drone, taking orders from some twit who's only an officer because his daddy had no other idea what to do with him?' He put on an exaggerated cut-glass accent. 'I say, chaps, that foreign-looking Johnny over there. Five rounds rapid, what?' Reverting to his normal tone, he went on: 'It's enough to make a man weep."
Liz blinked, the Brigadier a teacher. Not wanting to be a soldier, she would never have thought it.
"He must have found army life suited him to change his mind about his course in life." Liz said to the little Doctor.
Again the TARDIS jerked.
Liz saw a view of a jungle clearing with huts. Further on there was a line of cages swaying slightly in the wind. They were suspended about a foot from the ground on a thick rope from a framework. There were three cages all occupied. And there were more rows of cages , behind them, some with other unfortunates in them, some empty, awaiting more captives.
Liz saw that the young man in the nearest cage was in a terrible state, painfully thin, dirty, exhausted and looked as though he was in constant pain. She realised the cage was shorter than he was, and only a few inches wider, so he could neither stand up nor sit down. He was confined to a muscle-straining, agonising cramped position.
An old man was shuffling down the line of cages he paused at each cage and placed a cupful of dirty rice beside each of the slowly swinging cages. The guard who was following the man would pick up one of the bowls, stare at the prisoner inside the cage, carefully spit into the rice and then hand the bowl over. It was the young mans turn now. The old man didn't look at him; he kept his gaze down-turned, not wanting to see the man he was serving. The soldier looked, though, and smiled before spitting in the rice. Then thrust it out towards the caged man.
Liz saw the young mans face as he looked at the cup of rice in disgust. "Alistair," she murmured, "oh my God!" She felt faint seeing him there in those conditions.
She saw him look at the rice then in resignation he started to eat it.
Liz felt sick.
The TARDIS shifted again.
Alistair was back in a clean uniform, he still looked very unwell, skinny and tired. He was in a mess room reading a letter, Liz could see his eyes misting over. He threw the mug he was holding at the wall. He stormed out of the room leaving the letter on the table.
The young officer in the room picked up the letter, read it and sighed deeply.
"Lethbridge-Stewart!"
"Sir," Alistair said while facing away.
"soldier, it was six months, she thought you were dead. You can't blame her! It was just hard luck that she opted to marry just before you were found."
Alistair's head dropped, after a while he said quietly "I don't, blame her! Believe me, I don't. It's just my luck, everyone I love, I lose. I don't think I'm meant to be loved!" he said in a choked voice.
The TARDIS moved forward again.
Liz recognised the office, she saw the mans exhaustion. She knew when this was, just after the Wenley Moor incident.
He was gripping the receiver of the telephone so tightly his knuckles were white.
"Fiona, please, I can't tell you! Of course there isn't another woman! Fiona you can't, you can't take Kate! Fiona, Please! Fiona, I love you, I love Kate... Fiona ple..."
He put the phone down and picked up the solicitors letter. Just then the Doctor burst in yelling!
Liz's heart felt like it would break seeing the man who's world was crumbling around him, being harangued by the Doctor. Being called a murderer. Liz just wanted to hug him and kick the Doctor out of the door. Instead she could see herself looking at the man behind the desk in a condescending way. Her heart was breaking knowing now what she didn't know then!
The TARDIS stopped and the monitor went blank.
The little Doctor looked at Liz. "Not what you expected?"
Liz shook her head.
"Any wonder that he isn't keen to show his feelings. Any wonder that he doesn't show his love openly and face being hurt again."
Liz shook her head.
"It's up to you Liz, but if you walk away believe me he won't just shrug it off, you'll leave another large crack in an already badly cracked heart."
Liz blinked back tears. "Thank you Doctor!" she said quietly.
This strange little man, who was the Doctor hugged her impulsively. "I know losing you is one of the most painful things that could happen to him Liz. And seeing what you have you must know how much pain he has gone through in his life."
Liz nodded, she left the TARDIS and stood watching as it dematerialised.
Liz walked back into the building and entered Alistair's office. Her letter was on the desk, it was laid face down. He was stood at the window looking out.
"So, you are going back to Cambridge" he said as he saw her reflection in the window. His voice although almost it's usual tone had an edge of emotion in it.
"Yes, Alistair! All the Doctor really needs is someone to pass him his test tubes and tell him how wonderful he is!" She said her voice unsteady.
She saw in the window a brief amused look cross his face. But it was soon replaced by a flash of pain then his normal commanding officers face was back in place.
"I have my research I need to complete, it's been nearly two years. If I don't get back to it soon.."
He nodded.
"I also need to find a small house where we can at least live a normal life when you are on leave. I can't go on with stolen kisses and quick hugs that have to be taken when no one is looking. I can't keep my feelings for you hidden, afraid to touch you in case someone sees."
He spun around and looked at her astonished.
She stepped into his arms. "Alistair, I know I won't see you every day, maybe not every week, but we can talk on the phone. Cambridge isn't too far, we can meet up whenever we can arrange it. You can come home to me as often as you can. In Cambridge we can be a proper couple. I can hug you, kiss you, scream out your name in passion. I won't have to keep hiding the fact that I Love Alistair Gordon LETHBRIDGE-STEWART! And he loves me!"
Alistair pulled her in close and kissed her hard, kissed her greedily.
"Any chance there could be a marriage in this Cambridge life?" he asked tentatively.
Liz smiled, "It's a distinct possibility!"
There was a brief knock on the door and Benton walked in. Liz was about to step back but Alistair's arms locked around her and he held her close.
Benton stood looking, his mouth hanging open!
"If it's important Sargent see Mr Yates, otherwise it'll wait. Miss Shaw and I are having an important meeting."
Benton choked out a "Sir!"
He stepped out of the door closed it firmly then grinned widely.
The next day when Liz came to say goodbye he was slightly puzzled.
"I'm counting on you to keep him safe for me John!" Liz said sternly. "Make sure he's in his apartment by 9pm to receive my calls every night and when I arrange the wedding, No Invasion or Monsters are going to be allowed understood!"
Benton grinned, "You can count on me Liz! I love a bit of wedding cake!"