Author Note: I changed the Rubies name to the cannon names, but you'll see the AU elements here.
Chapter Two:
Have you ever taken a long road trip with your family? You have to sit there for hours on end, and you start to feel like a piece of dried beef jerky. Your family, who you normally love, suddenly become the most annoying people on the planet. But hey, at least you can look out of the window for entertainment.
But if you're in space? You might as well be looking at a black wall.
The five Ruby's were very gung ho as they left earth. But an interstellar road trip will suck the life out of you. The leader Ruby, Doc, said nothing as she steered the ship. Leggy, the newbie, was sitting on her hands so that she didn't press any more buttons. Army was the soldier. Her leg bounced up and down like a jackhammer. Eyeball, The scary Ruby with the jewel eye, growled in frustration. She turned to Navy, who was humming right next to her.
Eyeball: Hey Ruby, do you mind switching places with me?
Navy: Not at all!
The entire ship rocked back and forth as they tried to move in the cramped space.
Doc was not amused.
Doc: Hey hey hey! What's with all the commotion?
Eyeball growled as Navy got stuck on the top of her head.
Eyeball: I was trying to switch seats.
Navy: I have to say, your hair is very firm! I love it!
Eyeball (growling): Thank you.
Doc: That's enough! Nobody's changing seats. Nobody's moving an inch! We almost crash-landed on Mars thanks to Newbie over here!
Leggy blushed.
Doc: So from now on, nobody moves, got it?!
Eyeball: Can Ruby at least get off of my head?
Doc: (squints her eyes) No.
Navy: (shrugs her shoulders) I don't mind.
Navy began to rock back and forth as she hummed happily. This made Army even more anxious, and her leg bounced up and down even faster. Every one of the Ruby's ignored the loud thump thump thumping, except Eyeball, who clawed her face and growled. Then Eyeball noticed something.
Eyeball: Sir, there's something coming towards us. It looks to be a gem.
Doc: What? I know you have the best eyes out of us, but I don't see anything.
Suddenly, Jasper stopped ten feet in front of the ship. Doc yelped and slammed the breaks. All of the Ruby's fell forward. Doc stood up like a newborn horse, then leaned against the ship's dashboard. Soon everyone else got up too.
From the inside, they could see Jasper on the board. Jasper waved at them happily.
Doc: What the heck?
Eyeball: (growls) Do you see her now?
Rec: Jasper, I have to advise against this. Please don't do this.
Jasper: Hey there! Hello!
Rec: You know they can't hear you right?
Jasper: Well how do we talk to them?
The ship's yellow light beamed brightly in Jasper's face. She had to use her arm to shield her eyes.
Rec: That can't be good. Let me see if I can connect to their radio.
The snarky orange cheese ball began to beep like a fax machine as he connected to the ship. Jasper could hear static in her earpiece. Then a voice.
Doc: Hello, can you hear me?
Rec: Jasper, you won't be able to talk to them. I'll pass the message along for you.
Jasper: First of all, ask them why in Homeworlds name they're here?
Rec: First of all, Jasper says hello, because it's the polite thing to do to strangers...
Jasper rolled her eyes.
Rec: And Jasper also asks, to what do we owe the pleasure?
Doc: Are you Jasper, the leader of the Earth mission?
Jasper: I actually like the sound of that name.
Rec: She says that she's not.
Jasper could see the Rubies all groan in the ship.
Doc: Wait just a second.
Jasper put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. What the heck were they doing?
Back inside the ship:
Doc: How many times do I have to tell you guys to be quiet when I'm talking to fugitives?!
Army slammed her fist into the side of the ship.
Army: What does it matter?! She's not the Jasper we're looking for. At this rate, I'll never be able to punch someone!
Navy: I was having so much fun on this mission, but at least we'll get to see Homeworld soon.
Doc: Everyone be quiet! Let me ask you a question: What are the earthlings good at?
Leggy: Playing baseball?
Doc: No! They're good at lying. Think about it. They lied about having gems in that barn. If humans weren't so dumb, I would think that they lied about Jasper being on this planet. Now, look at what we have here: A Jasper who's on the planet Neptune, and what does she do? She lies.
The other Ruby's gasped.
Army: And we almost fell for it!
Leader: That's OK. Any other gem woulda fell for it easily. But not us. We're too smart...
Jasper crossed her arms and sighed.
Jasper: Rec, what are they doing in there, having a town hall meeting?
Rec: Why don't you take this as a chance to leave? I don't understand why you always have to test the limits like this.
Jasper: Well that's a very long and tragic story. You see-
She was interrupted by more static.
Doc: Jasper of the Earth mission, you're coming with us. Yellow Diamond wishes to talk about your failure.
Rec: I think you might be mistaken. Jasper already said that she had nothing to do with the Earth mission. Maybe you're looking for a different Jasper?
Doc: Nice try, but you can't fool us, liar!
Rec: I can assure you that we're not lying!
Doc: Ha! That's good. Did you learn how to lie during your time on earth? The humans must be really good at telling lies. I mean, how do you make up an entire fake game, right there on the spot?
Rec: Excuse me?
Doc: Forget it! I should have guessed that "baseball" wasn't a real sport, but you won't fool me twice! You're coming with us, or else!
Rec: Wait, this is a big misunderstanding? Hello? Hello?!
The red eyeball began to slowly make its way towards Jasper. Jasper began giggling loudly.
Rec: Jasper, is this really the time?! What are you laughing about?
Jasper: (bouncing up and down) I'm just thinking about how much fun I'm about to have!
She turned around and went full speed towards Triton, leaving a yellow light trail behind her.
Army: She's getting away!
Army launched herself at Jasper, only to crash into the windshield, ricocheting unto Leader. Once they both crashed into the ground, Navy and Eyeball both rushed to help. They ended up smacking their heads together and landing on top of the other two.
Doc(muffled by all the Ruby's on top of her): She's still getting away!
Leggy suddenly stood up.
Leggy: Don't worry sir! We'll catch up!
Doc: Newbie nooo!
Leggy pressed a big red button, which made the ship shoot straight up. The g-force squeezed them all to the ground. Doc pushed the others out of the way and managed to reach her hand unto the dashboard. She pressed the brake button. The ship stopped on a dime, causing all of the Rubys to launch and get stuck on the ceiling. They all stayed on the ceiling way longer then they should have.
Doc dropped first, landing with a thud. The other three Rubys dropped right on top of her, with Leggy dropping right next to the dogpile.
Doc growled loudly and stood up, which made the other Ruby's fly in all directions like bowling pins. Doc grabbed the joystick which controlled the ship and began to steer it towards the orange speck that was leaving a yellow trail behind.
Doc: (shouting) Everyone stop lying around! Get into position! When we catch up to that Jasper, she's going to be in big trouble, understood?!
The other four Ruby's stood up and saluted.
Ruby's: Sir yes sir!
The leader grabbed Leggy.
Doc: And you sit in the back!
The ship suddenly went full speed after its target.
To be continued.