chapter fifty-nine

Everything was real.

Everything that's going on right now is happening.

What's going on is finally the day I'm going to get my baby girl. But the labor process is giving me the side of the Devil.

After Doctor Meyers told me about being ready for delivery, he and his nurses got ready to be put into surgical coats and other gear to prepare for the labor. My parents, Mrs. Benson, and Melanie had to leave the room since the room wasn't big enough for everyone to fit. Freddie was the only one to be in the room to help me when I needed him; he's not going anywhere when I need him for sure.

The doctor and two nurses walk back inside the room with their coats, caps to cover their hair, gloves, and white masks to cover their mouth and nose. Doctor Meyers immediately disabled the bottom and slid it under the bed. He brings the foot rest up and rests my feet on top, so my legs are up and spread open to see my vagina.

"She's definitely ready. She's dilated." He reported. "Guys, I need everyone to be ready for the baby to arrive, stat!"

I felt my face heating from the embarrassment of everyone staying for the scariest moment of my life. My legs are spread apart as I felt double cramps in my stomach and I bit my lips to not let the scream come out. My head is sweating as beads of them slide down on my face. I'm hot... my ears are pumping from my heart beating so fast.

"Okay, Sam, whenever I say push, you push." Doctor Meyers said, and I nodded my head without saying anything. I felt my stomach moving to my hips and felt the pressure of a solid object; I thought I was going to die from that moment feeling the pain.

"Oh god," I cried resting my hands on my stomach. "I feel something!"

"Okay push!"

I took a deep breath and held it as I started to push from my pelvis. My vagina had a pressure of something trying to come out, and I knew it was the baby, but it caused me to wince from the hard pain. I forced myself to stop and take small breaths trying to find oxygen again.

"Okay, that was good, Sam."

I laid my head back on the pillow and took small breaths looking up at the ceiling. Oh god, it hurts so much. Why can't natural birth be simple and painless?!

"Baby, baby. Here's some ice to cool you down." Freddie whispered to my side as I see him holding a small plastic cup of crushed ice. He grabs a crushed ice and holds it between his pointer finger and thumb hanging over my mouth. I opened my mouth and he drops the ice on my tongue; I felt the cold ice decreasing the heat in my body and I closed my mouth chewing on the ice.

I looked at Freddie and smiled at him showing him appreciation through my eyes and he smiled back rubbing his hand on my head wiping the sweat away. I'm so thankful that he's here right now.

"Push!"

I heard the doctor scream and I began to push again, holding my breath and doubled over to add more pressure. My stomach had added more pain feeling something come out further down to my vagina. The lips of my vagina started to spread more and that's when my mouth opened and slipped out a violent scream. "OWW!"

Freddie brought a damp rag and dabbed it on my head to cool me off. I felt appreciated, but my mood has started to boil at him for how he got me in this position.

I stopped pushing and laid my head back on the pillow to catch my breath at the action. I turned my head at his direction and stared at him with the biggest glare I could muster that looks like the Devil has come back from the dead. "You fucking did this to me!"

The hand that I was holding was starting to feel firm as I held his hand tighter from anger. Freddie was wincing at the pain letting out a small yelp but bit his lip trying not to show the agony in his face. He still dabbed the rag on my face wiping more sweat away and gave encouraging words to my ear as he forgot his side of pain I'm giving him.

"Come on, Sam you can do it," one of the nurses said softly next to me on the other side of the bed as she helps Freddie out by giving me more of the crushed ice and him wiping the sweat off my face.

"Push!"

As I was panting, I sat up more on the bed and gave another long, hard push and felt my insides wiggling making me squirm. Gosh, why does this hurt so much?! I exhaled short breaths and my back was cramping causing me to lean back on the bed during my push, taking the pain. The pain was killing me that I can feel my lower region numb.

"Sam, you need to do it again," the doctor ordered and I started to cry because of the pain level of one hundred. I can't take it anymore, I can't take the sudden electric pain that's growing and the cramping that's in my body.

Tears prickled in my eyes seeing my vision blurry. "I can't... I can't." I cried not wiping my tears away that has fallen on my cheeks.

"Sam..." Freddie came to my vision and leaned over to wipe my eyes with his thumbs. "Think about Amara. She's almost here and I'm starting to see her head," he smiled. "I know you can do it, you're strong and you can bring our baby here. Remember I'm right here." He finished gripping my hand that is holding his comfortingly. My hand must've lost its grip since I wasn't feeling his hand firmed to mine when I was squeezing him earlier out of anger.

I listened to Freddie's words again in my mind and suddenly felt the courage to keep going. I don't want to let my family down as I can't continue, I don't want to let Freddie down, and I don't want to let my unborn baby down. This labor is more than overwhelming, but that means I can finally see my daughter come into this world if I can push harder than ever. I want to see my little girl who I already loved when I found out I was pregnant.

I can't stop now.

I sat up once again and spread my legs apart feeling more room to push. I took a deep breath and doubled over, pushing harder than I've ever done. My mouth opened and let out a loud groan as I felt the enormous amount of pressure I could feel coming outside of me.

"There you go! I see the head, keep going!" The doctor yelled as I was going wild pushing the baby out.

I stopped after a minute to catch my breath. I heard all the encouraging words around me as I took another deep breath and started to push again. I couldn't talk, I couldn't hear anything except my ears pumping loudly; all I could think about was pushing this baby out so she can be alright.

I groaned more as I pushed deeper feeling my vagina stretch wider between my legs causing me to scream out of my lungs. Every part of my body was going numb, but I couldn't stop thinking how close I am to finish this delivery.

My head was starting to get dizzy so I stopped and leaned my head back on the pillow to rest and take a few breaths. As I was breathing, the doctor was saying something to one of his nurses, but I couldn't hear the exact words as I could only hear my ears pumping and me breathing hard. The nurse was running across the room to the tray that was resting on the counter and grabbed, what seemed to be, two white blankets and scissors. She rushed back to the doctor, standing behind him.

After a few minutes of breathing, my ears could hear the air again and the faint ringing noise as I got more hearing than before. Then, I listened to the doctor talk to Freddie and me something about the baby.

"...her head is out, she's almost there. One more push, Sam!"

I heard his orders and thought it was finally it, I'm about to get my daughter and she's going to breathe happily once I do this last push.

This is for Amara.

I doubled over and did my final push, feeling the lips between my legs stretching more and I let out a scream. More encouraging words filled the room and I was listening to those words, pushing harder and harder until I couldn't breathe. A small body comes out of me as I feel it decrease out of my vagina and get out fully feeling nothing but a stinging pain with something moist and watery coming out as well.

What really made me start to think again, was this sudden scream that didn't come from me.

I heard a small cry that was coming in front of me and I felt curious as I felt my eyes heavy. I bring my legs down and saw Doctor Meyers holding a small body wrapped up in a blanket as he wiped away the blood that was all over it. Then, I did a double take and saw it was a baby, the baby I pushed out and was now crying louder when she came out.

It's Amara...

"Sam, you did it!" Freddie cheered as he looked down at me. I saw the look on Freddie's face and saw tears that were starting to trickle out of his eyes. His eyes were filled with joy as he looked at the baby and me at the same time.

I looked back at the doctor and see him holding the baby in his arms wrapped in the blanket. He stands up from his chair and walks around the bed heading to my direction as I couldn't leave my eyes on the baby.

I could tell he was smiling through his mask; the side of his eyes showed wrinkles. "Congratulations... your little girl is here." He announced happily as he extends his arms out with the baby, handing her to me.

My muscles moved quickly with my arms out and grabbing the baby slowly with Doctor Meyers helping me support her head on my arm. As I fully held her, I looked down and saw the most beautiful thing in the world.

My eyes felt hot as more tears filled my eyes and fell down to my cheeks, looking at my new daughter. She's just... so perfect. She stopped crying and turned into little whimpers. I looked at her facial features and saw everything that was right about her; her face is crinkly but I loved every bit of it. Her lips are plump as she was opening and closing them repeatedly, her hair was a light brunette color while it was wet from the blood, her eyes were closed but I could tell she was trying to open them.

I looked at Freddie and saw his eyes are glistening with tears as he extends his hand and sets it on Amara's hair and stroked it softly. "God... she's so little." He whispered. I smiled and nodded my head agreeing, looking back at my child. He kept stroking her hair as I could see her eyes twitching underneath her eyelids.

As if she felt her daddy's touch, she finally opened her eyes and my heart swelled at the sight of my daughter. My breath hitched in the back of my throat looking at her. Her eyes are dark brown like her father; her big brown eyes are looking around the room for the first time and getting the new feeling of the light hitting her pupils. She aims her eyes at me and she lets out a little gurgle which caused me to let out a sob from the scenery.

She's so beautiful.

"Just look at her..." I whispered to Freddie without wiping my tears away, looking up at him.

His hands stopped rubbing her hair as he stared at his daughter with loving eyes. He nodded as a smile appeared on his face and leans in closer trying to get her attention. It worked since Amara looked at the other human being in the room and stared at him innocently with her big eyes.

"Hi, Amara... I'm your daddy." Freddie whispered to her.

The baby responded with a squeal and started to close her eyes. I looked back at her and realized Freddie hadn't held her yet and I wanted to give him a fair share of our little girl. I pushed my arms up with Amara and extended my arms to Freddie and asked him. "Do you want to hold her?"

Freddie looked at Amara and me, nodding his head enthusiastically, bringing his arms out and taking Amara from my hands. He takes her and positions the little baby in his arms supporting her head as he stares at her. He held her tightly with a small smile on his face looking down at his offspring with tears remaining in his eyes.

I couldn't think as I saw his lips moving, talking to her feeling my body shutting down and my eyes starting to grow heavy. The whole time of pushing a human baby out has gotten me tired than usual as if I was working for twenty hours straight. So I should get myself a reward and take a nap from the hard work. I closed my eyes and listened to everything die around me as I can feel myself going into slumber and finally relaxing.

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