Chapter 26

When Alja left the restaurant, she thought about what Liza had said to her, when she insisted it made no sense to try and thaw out 'her Psy'.

"That's not who you are. – Christ, Ally I'm really scared for you. But I need to say this: You're not one to keep your head down and let things happen as they will. So don't try. It will only get you into more trouble – if that's possible at all."

Now Alja smiled at the simplicity of it all: She was an empath. She was made to feel, even made to make others feel. How could she ever have considered there was a possibility to evade what she felt for Kaleb? And it had taken a human who didn't even know her background to remind her of that. So much for the glorious superiority of our race. She thought dryly.

Yes, it was that simple. Only it wasn't. For her it never was. Because if she no longer ignored the truth of her nature, she had to do something that was beyond dangerous: She had to find out if there was any humanity left in Kaleb – find out if he still had some capability to feel. He had once cared enough to save a stranger – a human. She thought of the sequence the NetMind had shown her. What a convenient excuse for trying to get an emotional response from him. How could she know if she was led by the guidance of her one true friend or her own irresponsible desires? The twisted perverseness of the whole damn thing made her head spin, the darkness in her stir again. But why could it not be both, her own wishes and her duty to the Net? She just had to hope she wasn't tricking herself on this, hope she'd do the right thing. And oh, she had to be careful!

Just give me courage my friend she whispered into the cold wasteland of the PsyNet. A reassuring touch as the NetMind brushed by her.

She took one last look back at the outwardly unimpressive truck stop that was her island of life in this cage of Silence and with a sigh she let go of all visible humanity and pulled up the façade of the ruthless Arrow again. Her feelings would be calmed enough now to appear as she should.

I'm done. I'll just take a walk through the grove where you left me until you're ready to get me out. She said to Kaleb via the Net. She didn't know how fast he could come back but hoped he was busy enough so she could spend some more time close to nature, the only place where it was safe for her to indulge in emotion. The moment she had reached the shadows of the trees she stopped to retrieve a small container from one of her jacket pockets and took out the contacts. They worked well enough under daylight conditions but out in the dark she'd be safer with her eyes receiving the full spectrum of light. And if anyone accidentally came close she'd merge with the shadows and the bustling silence of the woods. Apart from that, displaying her cardinal status would help her face a man who threatened to brush away twenty-seven years of practice in appearing the perfect Arrow just by being close to her.

When Alja had crossed the parking lot and disappeared between the trees, Kaleb couldn't fight the urge to teleport the short distance to the grove where they were supposed to meet. He was not going to let her walk around there alone.

Irrational! His reason insisted. But reason seemed to be no longer the sole dominant part of his mind. There was another part that demanded to keep her close.

The woman who greeted him with the curt nod of a soldier was very different from the one he had seen through the eyes of the human waitress. She was all Psy again, all of the warmth, the carelessness gone. Her desperation, her doubts contained behind a façade of Silence that was not only 'adjusted' as she'd once told him. It was pure fake as he knew now. In the dim light only a few flecks of light in her eyes told him she no longer wore her contacts, reminding him that he was dealing with another cardinal. Probably not as dangerous as himself, but harder to evaluate than any other he'd encountered on his quest for power.

And all he wanted to do was touch her.

"You were fast." Her icy voice snapped his thoughts back from the direction they so persistently strayed to nowadays. "I didn't mean to interrupt you." Alja took care to let none of her disappointment at being torn from nature show.

"You didn't. I had nothing to do just now anyway." He replied with such guarded politeness it instantly made her suspicious. And she knew the statement most certainly to be a lie. A man in Kaleb's position was not likely to ever be unoccupied. "And I don't want to rush you, if you want to take a walk."

Alja didn't know what to say. This was definitively nothing she'd have expected.

When she didn't react immediately, he went on as if this was the most logical thing in the world. "Nature calms the senses. This is something I understand. – Would you mind my company? I have neglected recreational activities for quite a while too."

If he'd surprised her before, he flat out knocked her off her feet now. Did he really want to walk with her, just to indulge – or as the proper Psy called it – for recreational purposes? She knew among the other species this would have meant nothing, but to her –

The idea alone felt scandalously intimate and made butterflies come alive in her stomach. She felt like a teenager once again. Luckily it was dark enough that the change of color in her cheeks should go unnoticed. Nature calms the senses. It was the closest thing to an emotional statement she'd ever gotten from him. Maybe she'd really get a chance to look deeper inside this man who seemed to hide so much more behind all that cold power.

"No, of course not. I have to thank you for your time," she answered turning away to start walking, her head bent down a little.

So cool, so polite, Kaleb thought. It provoked him even more than her usual tendency towards disrespect. But this woman had just called him hot, had even blushed when she talked about him in that sensual way. How could he return to see her as a cold Psy soldier? He wanted to put his hands on that velvet skin again make her respond like she had under his lips. Soft, warm, inviting. "Have you been successful with your human contact?" he asked instead, barely noticing the fluctuations in the now constant hum of dissonance in the back of his head. A dissonance that was completely incapable of preventing his emotional response to Alja from strengthening bit by small bit.

"Yes, the emotional environment helped. I will be fully functional again as long as there are no more incidences." Alja answered in the most professional tone she had in her. Oh god, what am I doing here? She thought, unsure whether this interaction fit more the parameters of a casual, recreational walk or prey being stalked by a predator. And none of her training had prepared her for such a situation.

"You don't have to act Silent with me if that helps you stabilize. It's illogical since I already know you feel." Illogical, yes. And he simply couldn't stand it to watch her shut herself off.

"It's not just an act. I am capable of truly dampening my emotions." Yeah, doesn't look like it right now! The little dark voice whispered in her mind. It shouldn't have come back so soon. At least it didn't sound angry right then. Just teasing, tempting. It would hold for now. For heaven's sake do I really have to walk around with a crazy half of me babbling in my head? She mentally replied with a grim sense of humor, even if she knew there was nothing funny about this. She wondered if it was like this for all Psy who broke and went insane.

"But it's not healthy for you." Kaleb's statement pulled Alja back from musing about her deteriorating mental status.

"It's not healthy for anyone." she replied, her tone sarcastic. "But maybe I'll take the offer, what have I to lose with you?" You'll die if you ever show just a glimpse of what you truly are. But she hadn't died, when Kaleb learned about her empathy. Perhaps she could trust him, just a little bit more. And it would be easier to hide her ever growing desire for him behind other, more acceptable emotions. "Or do you think I'll be as easy to read and manipulate as the humans you play with?"

Yes, that was the kind of answer he liked. Provoking in a way even his fellow Councilors seldom dared to speak to him. It stirred a kind of energetic excitement he'd never known before. "Surely not. I think you're far more interesting."

There was something in his tone that made her heart beat even faster than it already did. She focused on walking rather than responding. Suddenly self-conscious in a way she'd never experienced.

Kaleb was surprised. He'd expected another witty response. But probably he had gone too far. His behavior must appear more than strange to her. No wonder she got wary. But he had to keep her talking. He wanted to learn everything about that woman who spoke to parts so deep inside of him he hadn't even known they existed. "Tell me about the projection. How do you manipulate someone's actions through feelings? Can you program something like you can telepathically?" She'd always shown pride in her skills. Maybe she'd talk easier about them.

It worked. Alja gladly took on the innocuous topic. "Oh no, it's not that easy! I just project a general feeling. It is the mind of the target that directs it, interprets it. The psyche tries to find the source of the emotion in something proximal to the moment or environment when the feeling starts. For example something the target thought, or an object that is near. If the projection is strong enough the target acts in a way that its psyche perceives to ease the emotional tension. But the exact reaction cannot be predicted. In case of fear it could be running away or attacking. And you cannot definitely determine whom or what it will be directed at."

"So I might have kissed Silver or even Delenko had they been close when you projected?"

The question hit her without warning. So much for the innocuous topic. What had she expected? Of course he'd discuss this like any other scientifically interesting subject. This time it annoyed Alja even more and she knew exactly why. He had hit a soft spot. She'd drawn the conclusion only days ago but felt a sharp burst of jealousy when she'd realized the striking pattern. So she didn't think much before she blurted out her answer. "More likely Ms. Mercant. You seem to have a knack for fragile looking, blonde women."

Kaleb was pretty sure if he had a 'knack' for something, it was dark hair, a soldier's lithe but strong body and sky-fall eyes that saw decidedly too much. Could she have perceived a part of his darkest secret? "And you read that from what you called 'underlying emotions'?"

"Oh no, I could never read those. You have to actively feel on some level for an empath to be able to perceive something. I have to guess at the underlying motivations from your actions if I want to know. In this case I realized you keep a lot of women of that type around. For example Anastasia Velon: She's a little less fragile but the same type just as various other female members of your staff."

"And you concluded that would be my 'type of woman' if I felt."

"Figures. Don't you think?"

The sideways look she gave him with a half resigned, half wicked smile did it. He simply had to touch her. A mistake. A critical loss of control. But neither the dissonance nor the flashing pictures of the swan girl's broken body were strong enough to halt the action. He just wanted.

"Let me see your eyes." Without warning he stepped in front of her and gripped her chin, his eyes crashing into hers. She had to halt abruptly not to run into him. All her muscles locked in place, her behavioral controls working hard not to lean into the touch, while the memory of the last time those hands had touched her face made it impossible to pull away. He just kept looking at her. His handsome face just a little less hard, a little more human in the dim light of the moon shining through the canopy. And it was even more irresistible. Oh, if she could feel those lips on hers again! It would only take a little projective push. Fighting the temptation was almost impossible. "Kaleb what are you doing?" She managed to get out, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Checking if you told the truth about being better now. – Your eyes are no longer as restless."

The explanation was cool, logical. But he didn't break the contact. Although only his fingers were burning on her skin, Alja thought she could almost feel the heat of his entire body through what little distance remained between them. And she couldn't look away from the sheer demand in his eyes. Right now she'd have given him anything, but she had no idea what it was he wanted from her.

The moment stretched over long seconds, as fragile and tense like a sphere of glass under the pressure of an iron weight. Alja was the one who broke it, not trusting herself not to do something unforgivably stupid this time. Pulling his hand off her face with her own as if to stress the insolence of touching her, she snapped out the first challenging response that came to mind. "You're really used to just taking everything you want aren't you?" The wicked voice was not satisfied.

Come on! You know secretly he wants you. Why would he need to touch you? It's just a risk for him.

Yeah now you're getting ridiculous. Well I am, since you are me. – God, how pathetic can someone get?

"I'm just making sure you're ok." Kaleb was frustrated and glad at the same time that she'd broken the contact. He didn't know what he'd have done had those eyes pulled at him for any longer. He only noticed that he had trouble keeping his breathing calm right now. And where she'd touched his wrist, her fingers had left a searing brand that made him instantly crave for more. This was the most exciting game he'd ever played and it gave him something that none of his power games ever had:

It made him feel alive.

Only this was not a game. This was pure madness.

And he had thought he knew madness. But this was a new kind of it. Not the twisted, dark insanity that he had caged in the core of his mind. It was a fire burning bright in a part of him he'd thought long dead. And he craved for its warmth and light even if it might burn him, blind him. This was a kind of madness he just couldn't resist. But how many excuses could he find to touch Alja, without revealing his gut deep need for it? His fingers curled into fists even now, fighting the urge to put them back on her face, her skin, her body.

"This doesn't concern our deal or my work for you." A hint of spite in her voice. Her eyes gleaming with challenge.

"Yes it does. I promised to protect you." He didn't move out of the way. So they still stood there in the middle of nowhere facing each other in a way that would have been considered highly inappropriate for any Psy.

"From Ming LeBon, not from my own demons." she retorted, still speaking calmly but with an increasing pace. Oh yes she'd take this as a power game, which it in all probability was. And she'd stand her ground; draw a line in the sand instead of submitting to either her own inappropriate feelings or his arrogant demands.

"Then tell me what kind of 'demon' got you in the state you were in this morning!" It drove him fucking insane that he didn't know how to protect her from this. His answers were coming faster with less time to think about. Just like hers. He had to be careful not to let himself be pulled into this suddenly heated discussion.

"As I said this is nothing concerning my work. It is a private matter. Or are you ready to tell me about your demons – your so called monster? The reason why you won't dare to let go of Silence even if you accept the rest of us need to do so to survive."

Oh, she could fight mean when she was in the mood. That in itself was rather exhilarating. Only she'd picked the one issue Kaleb would rather have avoided. He came to believe she had a talent for it. "Why would it even matter to you if I'm Silent?"

Because I need you to feel like nothing else – like no one else! The truth flickered in the back of her skull. She took a deep breath. Let her gaze sweep over the adjacent shrubbery. She had to calm down. This argument had gotten far too heated suddenly. Instead of the truth she answered with a platitude. "I'm at least partly an empath. It's part of who I am to care about these things."

"You're also Psy. You have grown up with the Arrows. Have you never considered emotion a weakness?"

A sudden pause. Alja freezing completely.

Avoiding the truth would be harder now. Her eyes that were still trained on a nearby bush spotted a tiny spider web, its silky threads covered in thousands of dewdrops like beads of glass. And although the spider silk was one of the toughest materials in the world – so tough the Arrow techs tried to recreate it to make better armor out of it – the little web was so fragile, because the bonds were so light, so thin. So beautiful, so fragile, so worth protecting. Maybe the truth was what was needed.

For a moment Kaleb thought his last question had hurt her pride, because she went so utterly quiet. Her answer however was just thoughtful and very, very serious.

"Of course. It's what I've been told all my life. And partly it's true. I know my parents loved each other, loved me. And they were killed because they couldn't let go. It scares me beyond reason that emotion can bring you so far." A short hesitation, while Alja struggled with the cautiousness her training demanded of her. Then she ripped open a part of her soul she'd never shown to anyone. "But what scares me even more is that I might never experience such an emotion myself. An emotion that is so deep it's worth dying for."

Seconds of complete silence. Even the tiny noises in the woods seemed to pause.

"You have some really unique views, Alja. But I think I can understand that one, even if I cannot relate to it." Finally Kaleb stepped aside and started walking again. He had to move, focus on something other than Alja or he'd do a lot more than go too far. He barely realized that he automatically started to tune out the pain of the dissonance. Another step down that unforgivable, yet alluring path.

"So you have never considered that you're missing something?" Alja wasn't ready to let it go.

"When I told you there is nothing good left in me, I meant it." And he knew it was true. Otherwise he'd take care to make Alja run away as fast as she could, so the monster inside him had no chance of ever getting to her. He had no illusions. Just because it was quiet now, didn't mean it wasn't evaluating her as prey. But he wasn't even good enough to let her leave – much less make her. Although even if he tried, that stubborn woman would probably stay. And for the first time he wondered what she saw, when she looked at him with her eerie, beautiful eyes full of life. "I have killed so many people that I have lost count a long time ago. What could the world of emotion possibly hold for me? There is probably only pure evil left in me."

Alja's chest grew tight when she heard him talk. This man hadn't just looked into the abyss. He'd gone down all the way and a part of him had never come back. How could she ever give him back what he had lost? Did she really have the right to question his decision for Silence? Still she couldn't believe he was lost. It just wasn't in her nature. "I don't believe such a thing as 'pure evil' truly exists. There is good in everyone. And deep down every sentient being is just looking for something to make them whole. And for those lost in Silence, there is nothing left but power to even make them feel alive." She didn't know how she dared to talk like this to him. Revealing another part of herself no one had ever known before. But she wanted to give him hope so badly; it was hard enough not to project again.

"Would you also say that about a true sociopath, about someone who has an intrinsic urge to kill innocent, human beings?" He was sure she would believe in pure evil, if she knew what lay inside him.

"Taking another life can create the illusion of ultimate power. Someone who does it must be very desperate. Very sick. But evil? It is such a human construct – an emotional construct even, don't you think?"

This discussion was leading nowhere Kaleb wanted to go further. And he knew why: It was because Alja was right, in a very unsettling way. So much of what she said was true. He'd realized that the night he'd sought her out in the gym. And now they were talking about emotional concepts – again. But he refused to be treated like some sort of lost child who had to be brought home. He had seen what evil he was capable of and there was no other word for it – emotions or not.

"Obviously you haven't seen enough of human nature. I didn't think an Arrow could be so naïve." For whatever reasons she insisted on bringing up the issue of emotions again and again; his opinion wouldn't change. Only it no longer mattered, because his shattering armor of Silence told a very different story. But she could never know this weakness.

"Or maybe I have seen too much of it and this is what I need to believe to make myself feel whole. – But you still haven't answered my question. Don't you think you're missing something? Even those you call 'evil' can feel good. Some say it's even easier for them, because they only care for themselves."

Alja no longer hid the fierce interest in her voice. They were already far too deep into this to pretend that this was a completely factual discussion. Still nothing prepared her for his next answer.

"Even if I might have been tempted, I've already seen were it gets me. The first woman I kissed had death in her blood the next day." Only when the words were out, Kaleb realized that he hadn't even wanted to say that. He had to stop this conversation immediately before it went any further out of control. Oh, but the question whether he was the cause for her terrible condition, had been burning in his brain ever since this morning.

"I don't know what you…Wait! How did you…?" Alja was dumbstruck for a second. He had surprised her so much she stopped walking. But it took her only a moment to draw the right conclusion. "My nosebleed – of course!" She noted she should have been alarmed at this new level of being observed – of being controlled. She should have known he'd investigate literally every scrap of information he could get on her. Her mind however wandered in another direction. "You don't believe that had anything to do with you, do you?"

Kaleb stopped a few steps ahead of her and turned slowly.

There was no visible reaction on his face but something in his eyes told her the truth. "You do believe it was you." There was no way in hell she'd let him think that he had sparked the fatal reaction of her psyche, even if it meant giving up more of her darkest secrets. She reacted with annoyance however to conceal her sorrow at least. "Oh for heaven's sake if you must know: It was the residual."

Kaleb couldn't believe she'd finally open up on the topic. So he just raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question.

"I'm sure you've heard that empaths have trouble hurting other beings, because they feel the hurt they inflict upon them. I have learned to shut the empathic senses off. But it only works to a certain extent. If I go too far, a residual of the emotional imprint comes through."

"You didn't hurt anyone yesterday." Certainly not me Kaleb thought. On the contrary, his blood ran hot at the mere thought of what he'd felt the other day.

"No, but in case of the people I killed the residual sticks. I usually compartmentalize my mind so that part is not active, but it can be triggered when I get unstable. – So you see all of my current state was just caused by the general recent stress. It had absolutely nothing to do with you." Except that it had everything to do with the wild desires Kaleb had awakened in her, that wouldn't be suppressed by her attempts of 'compartmentalizing'.

Kaleb on the other hand had trouble understanding what had just happened. Minutes ago Alja had been fiercely reluctant to reveal any of what was going on with her – which was comprehensible: He had thought she mistrusted him, when he said he wanted to protect her. It drove him mad that she shut him out, but it was logical. Distrust was something he could understand. Yet now she told him everything without hesitation, because she thought he might blame himself for her pain. Yes, Alja might be stubborn and provocative when it came to him, but she also – cared. No one had ever cared for him. Something tight in his chest uncurled at the realization, allowing more of the forbidden warmth of emotion to unfold. But he couldn't give in to such weakness now that he was so close to getting everything he had worked for since he was a child. He had to stay cold.

"Whatever you say. But alert me the next time you get close to such a breakdown. I need you functional."

It was a like a slap in the face to Alja how fast he was all back to business. Of course, he was. He'd gotten the answer he wanted, playing on her emotions. And she had fallen for it. Stupid. And it hurt. Kaleb's concern had fueled her hope that he might actually care for her – a hope that was doomed to the bitterest disappointment. And she'd learned one more thing tonight: Kaleb might not be able to affect her with his psychic powers, but if she let him any closer he could crush her heart in a way she'd never recover from. But he'd never know. Not as long as she had her protective armor of fake Silence. "Of course. So what about the shield work you wanted me to do?"

"I want you to use your disguise shielding to mimic this person."

Alja allowed the telepathic transmission to come through her shields. It was a mental image of a mind in the Net and even a short sequence of a mental voice. "The material is good. It won't take long. The mimicry will be ready whenever needed. Shall we go now? I think I've had enough recreation for today." She needed to get away from his arctic presence before it cost her all the balance she'd regained tonight.

Kaleb was so frustrated at being unable to act as he wanted in this situation that he had suppress another burst of pain and those sickening pictures before he could think of an answer. Yes, he had to stay cold but he didn't want her to be. He wanted her to be herself, wanted to be the one to give her whatever she needed. But he couldn't offer any of it, because he was not supposed to care beyond the official agreement he had with the Arrow Squad. The irony wasn't lost to him: He was probably the most powerful man in the world and he couldn't take care of the woman who made his body and soul burn. He couldn't even ask her out like any man of another race might have. – But no, he could ask her out – sort of. And he had enough rational excuses for his next irresponsible action. "We'll leave in a minute. There's one more thing I have to do for you."

"I'm listening." Alja ground her teeth together hard. She'd get through this, whatever it was.

"There is a social event I need to attend in order to maintain the contacts with some human and changeling business partners. You could accompany me, if you think you'd profit from the emotional environment." The statement was cloaked in a cool matter-of-fact tone.

"And make them fond of you?" Alja was sure he wanted her there for her empathy. Her stomach turned at the idea of using her powers in such a way. But Kaleb surprised her once again, making it harder and harder to keep her distance.

"That won't be necessary. You'd just be present to help the other species to better relate to us Psy, reduce some of the reserve they have because of our Silence. It is usually expected to bring someone to these events. I have never done so before, but I think it might help my popularity if I brought a female companion."

Slowly Alja understood. "Like Henry and Shoshanna?" The two former Councilors had had a farce of a marriage to appear more human to the feeling races.

"Essentially, yes. I'll brief you on the people I'll meet and some business details, in case you're drawn into a conversation. But as I said it's mostly a social event. You won't have much to do."

"Will it be a public event? I usually like to keep a low profile." Don't do anything stupid, child! We owe their kind nothing. And agreeing to this would be beyond stupid. She mustn't let him see anymore of her true nature. And accompanying him in public would just draw more of Ming's attention to her, if that was possible at all.

"It is only a local event and you can wear contacts of course. There is no need to display that much power. But it's not an obligatory task. You can decide if you'd – like to come." Years of practicing control over all emotional impulses made it possible to keep them at a minimum now. Still Kaleb felt his body temperature rise and his heartbeat accelerate without apparent reason.

Alja paused. He gave her a choice. And he hadn't taken any woman to accompany him before. Not even Silver. So I might have kissed Silver… The memory of his words was pure torture. Most likely he was playing at her emotions again. And it worked – even though she knew. He was simply crushing all her defenses. "Alright. I'll do it."

Later that same night Kaleb stood at the edge of the patio outside his home looking down into the promising shadows of the gorge that fell away from it. The cool night air was pricking at the sweat coated skin of his bare chest. Only after he'd run himself almost to exhaustion could he think clear enough to make a rational assessment of his situation.

Almost every piece of his meticulously laid plans to take over the Net was in place. The only thing he still needed was utter compliance of the Arrow Squad. And they'd played into his hands when they asked him to protect Alja. If he handled that situation well, he'd probably win their loyalty completely. So far they'd only stand against Ming LeBon. But if Kaleb proved loyal protecting one of theirs however – one who even to them seemed more important than he could rationally account for – they might go further for him. Because when he finally took control, he needed the Arrows to contain the other former Councilors as long as their lives were vital for the stability of the Net. And after that the Net would be his alone. Even the Arrows wouldn't be able to stop him.

Reason enough to take good care of Alja. But he wasn't foolish enough to believe his obsession with her was just a way of nurturing an asset to bargain with the Arrows. Not when a single thought of her could unleash energies in his body that wouldn't be reduced by physical exertion. But there was more than just the physical attraction. She made him feel more alive than he ever had. And something about the way she saw the world, the Net, even Silence, made him feel less like a monster in her presence.

But it was an illusion.

"This can never be," he whispered into the dark void before him and reinforced his shattering Silence once more. Even if it would not halt the degeneration of the Protocol for long, it bought back some time to think as cool and clear as he once had.

He had lost valuable time being distracted by Alja – again and again. He couldn't afford any more delay in his plans. Because even if he didn't kill the others immediately, there would be many deaths when he finally overturned the order or the Net. Something he saw as inevitable collateral damage – except for the one person he couldn't risk losing in the ensuing chaos – his sun-mind. He had to find Her first and put her in the safe place he'd prepared – behind thick walls of concrete and impenetrable psychic shields.

Knowing he had another sleepless night before him he cloaked himself in the invisibility of the Ghost, dove into the slipstreams of data in the Net and went searching for Her, more relentless than ever. Drawn back behind his shield of Silence he didn't realize that this was an act of repentance. He filtered through the data again and again, tried the obsidian archive for the umpteenth time and followed up every clue he'd ever had on Her.

Nothing.

She was gone. It was as if she'd never existed, although he was sure she was still alive somewhere out there. His knowledge of her mind was almost good enough to create a mental lock for a teleport– but just that: almost. And he was running out of time and ideas how to get to her.

Knowing he would not get on with it at the moment he turned towards the other matter that kept him awake and in the Net most of the time: The infectious rot that had spread through its fabric. It was growing at a faster rate now, invading more minds every day. He severed some infected stretches of the Net, taking care not to exhaust himself this time. Soon, he realized there would be not much of the Net left for him to take over.