Big Yuri Hell's
By TheBlackKid
"*giggle* It's done. It's finally done! I've spent the past three days working on this thing and it's finally done! I can't wait to show it to them!"
Sakurako Ohmuro was currently one happy girl. Currently in her hands was a burned DVD of a video she's been working on for the past three days or so.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Sakurako? Working? That's shocking. Well, it is. And it probably won't last long, either.
You see…Kyouko has recently convinced the other four members of the Amusement Club that they need more members. I mean, sure. They recently got Sachiko to join. But, apparently, that wasn't enough for the self-appointed club leader.
So, while rumbling through ideas, they came up with making a PV. Or a Promo Video. It sounded like a good and simple idea…but none of them had any idea how to make one. So, they asked around for help. Hoping that they'll find someone in Nanamori that's experienced with making videos.
That's where Sakurako comes in. She overheard Akari, Chinatsu, and Sachiko talking about it and insisted on helping. And immediately, Chinatsu rejected the offer. She had a bad feeling about letting someone like Sakurako work on a video for the club. But Sakurako claimed that she was an expert on the subject…which was hard to believe since she says that about a lot of things. But with Himawari backing her up, saying that she really is good at it, the three club members gave her a chance.
And so, here we are. Three days later. Sakurako held the video in her hands and was on her way to the Amusement Club room to show off her "masterpiece".
You can already see where this is going.
"Yo! What up, peeps? I gots the video for ya!" Sakurako yelled out as she came into the clubroom.
"Ooh~! It's done! We got our promo video!" Kyouko cheered.
"I still got a bad feeling about this…" Chinatsu said with a worried tone.
"Oh, come on, Chinatsu. I said that I was an expert. Even got Himawari to back me up."
"Himawari would agree to anything you say just to shut you up."
"Hey, at least it was true this time."
"So, you're admitting that the other times of you being an expert were lies…" Sachiko said with a sweatdrop.
"Wh-Whatever." Sakurako stuttered with embarrassment. "Time to show off my masterpiece! Dun, dun, dun, DUUUN!"
"I'm still shocked that you actually did something productive, Sakurako." Yui said.
"*proud chuckle* I sure did. This baby took me three days to complete. I even gave updates to Akari every once in a while when I reached a good stopping point."
"W-Wait, why only you?" Kyouko asked Akari.
"She trusts me, I guess."
"Alright, ladies. Enough talking. Witness the glorious creation of The Great Sakurako-sama's talented mind! Let's start the show!"
"How much of a train wreck do you think this is going to be?" Sachiko whispered to Chinatsu.
"Knowing Sakurako, a great big amount."
Sakurako placed the DVD inside the club's DVD player and pressed Play. As the video loaded up, she couldn't contain her excitement. This was the first video that's she sharing with other people and she was excited that soon people will know her expert video skills.
Whether or not the Amusement Club members would like the video…well…
"FUCK YOU, NANAMORI!
If you're dumb enough to join a new club this year, you're a big enough shmuck to join the Amusement Club!
Small room! Teas that taste weird! Lesbos!
If you think you're going to be productive at the Amusement Club, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!
It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker, you'll fall for this bullshit! GUARANTEED!
If you find a better club, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! You heard us right! SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!
Bring your books! Bring your schoolbag! Bring your friend!
WE'LL FUCK HER!
That's right! We'll fuck your friend!
Because at the Amusement Club, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!
Take a hike to the Amusement Club!
HOME OF CHALLENGE PISSING! THAT'S RIGHT, CHALLENGE PISSING!
How does it work?
If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!
Don't wait! Don't delay!
DON'T FUCK WITH US!
Or we'll rip your tits off!
Only at the Amusement Club, the only club that tells you to FUCK OFF!
HURRY UP, ASSHOLE!
This club closes up the minute you write us a check! And it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!
GO TO HELL!
The Amusement Club! Home of the world's filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest little bitches in the country of Japan!
GUARANTEED!"
"*sniff* So beautiful." Sakurako whispered to herself. "Anyway~. So, what did you girls think? Pretty good, right?"
…
…
…
…
…
The room was dead silent after the video had stopped playing. Every last one of the club members…left with a complete look of shock as they didn't know what to say right now.
"Uh…hello? You guys okay?"
"S-Sakurako…" Yui mumbled under her breath.
"C-Can you please explain to us…" Chinatsu did the same.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Both girls then yelled with all the rage and fury built up inside them.
"What? It's your promo vid."
"LIKE HELL, IT IS!"
"Huh? You mean you don't like it?"
"Like it?! This all sorts of wrong!" Chinatsu yelled.
"What's with all the curse words?! There was like one every few seconds!" Yui added.
"W-Wow…I-I've never heard so many curse words at once before in my life." Kyouko silently said. Her face was completely blushed and she was currently holding a pillow as tight as she could.
The video had broken her completely.
"Oh, come on. Aoi and I curse all the time. You should be used to it by now."
"We're not supposed to be used to it!" Both Yui and Chinatsu retorted in anger.
"Some of the stuff there were rather raunchy, Sakurako." Sachiko said.
"Yeah, and HIGHLY inappropriate!" Chinatsu added.
"Hmph. You three just don't have a sense of humor."
"Sense of humor?" Yui asked. "Sakurako, you completely broke Kyouko and Akari is still speechless right now."
"Oh, yeah. What did you think about it, Akari?" Sakurako then asked her redhead friend.
As previously stated, Akari was still speechless. Not much has changed about her expression for a good minute or two. But eventually, it did.
And it wasn't the reaction you might normally think from her.
"*snicker* *chuckle* *giggle* Ba…Ba…BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! O-OH, MY GOD! TH-THAT WAS…TH-THAT WAS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! GAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Akari…" Chinatsu and Yui both gained a sweatdrop.
"See? Akari gets it." Sakurako said proudly as Akari had broken down on the floor laughing her ass off.
"Hey, Sakurako. I got a question."
"Ask away, Sachiko!"
"This one part of the video…it has me wondering. Is it truly possible to piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet?"
"Wh-Why does that matter?!" Chinatsu yelled.
"Just sayin'. I honestly don't want a down payment."
"Down payment on what?! You're freaking 14!"
"Sakurako. I can kinda appreciate the "work" you put into this. But we are NOT using this as our promo video." Yui said. "We'll get suspended if we do."
"Aw, what? And here I thought you girls would understand my creative mind."
"Your "creative mind" is HIGHLY questionable!" Chinatsu yelled.
"At least vote on it."
"No." Yui said.
"Hell no." Chinatsu said.
"Gonna hafta say no on this one, suga." Sachiko said.
"S-S-So…many…curse words." Kyouko was still broken.
"BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And Akari was still laughing.
"Well, there you have it. 3 no's, a broken mind, and tears of laughter. Majority rules, Sakurako." Chinatsu said.
"Hmph. Fine. Don't expect me to help you girls with videos ever again." Sakurako pouted.
"Judging by this video, you don't have to worry about that." Yui said.
"Ugh! Whatever!" Sakurako then finally left the clubroom in a pissed off mood and actually slammed the door shut in the process. Making it almost fall off its hinges.
"Geez. That was a disaster."
"I seriously don't understand just what the hell is wrong with that girl." Chinatsu said.
"Sakurako is a special girl, alright." Sachiko said.
"Hey, guys." Akari said as she had finally stopped laughing. "Can we watch it again?"
"NO!" Yui and Chinatsu yelled.
"*whine* You guys have zero humor!"
"G-Guaranteed…" Kyouko mumbled while in a broken mindset.
Meanwhile, Sakurako was walking back to the main school building still upset that her video was rejected. She was a little calmer due to the walk. But it was still bugging her.
"Man! I can't believe they just shot it down like that! I've spent time that I could've done doing nothing working on that video and NONE of them appreciated it! Well, except Akari. I knew I could count on her."
Sakurako then took out her phone and went to her channel on the YouTube app. Smiling and giggling as she looked at the screen.
"Aw, well. It's a good thing I posted this to YouTube last night immediately after finishing. Now, the whole world can witness my creative goodness! Guaranteed! *giggle*"
A positive ending, I guess.
Author's Note: It's been a while since I wrote something stupid. And this came to me last night so I figured why the hell not. Better now than later.
For those unaware, this is based on a video on YouTube called Big Bill Hell's. It's a funny as hell video and one of my personal favorites to watch over and over and over again. It's a freaking masterpiece.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave a favorite or review. And they better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker! Okay, no. I'm kidding. Thanks again. Later.