Chapter 39

When Alja woke it was to find herself still linked to Kaleb on the mental plane. He had stayed! He lay on his back exactly as he had done when they had lain down, even though it must have been several hours. It had been early afternoon, when he had brought her to her rooms. Now it was getting dark. She had never slept so long since she dropped out to do it. But now she had rested more peaceful than ever, with her head on his shoulder, his arm holding her close and her hand cupping the side of his neck – skin to skin. The contact had saved her psyche from a fatal meltdown – again. The realization made all her questions, all her doubts come back fast. She was sure he couldn't, wouldn't do all of this just to maintain the function of a weapon he obviously didn't intend to use. It made no sense.

But then she remembered what he'd said, when she'd threatened him on the mountain meadow: Threats don't work well on me. I usually see them as a challenge.

Yes, a challenge, a power play. That was something a true Psy valued above all else. And he had won. He had bested her in the one domain that should have been her greatest strength, because he'd found out that it was also her greatest weakness.

It was the only explanation for this.

And it let her no pride left.

She allowed herself to indulge in the stolen moment for a few more precious seconds, until the pain got too hard to bear. Then she lifted her head to look at him to discover he was watching her, intently, still as stone. And she knew what he was waiting for: "I yield. Please stop!" she said quietly.

"What?" Kaleb had spent the minutes before Alja woke thinking about how he could even begin to explain what he felt for her. Her statement tore him right out of it.

"You won. You found the one part of me that hasn't been broken so far. And I'm begging you: Don't go on. Don't break my heart." With that she sat up, lifting her hand off his skin and retracting her shields.

Kaleb felt the loss like a stab to the heart and was too confused to react for a second. And before he could find any words to explain to Alja how wrong she was her face froze in shock.

Spiders, it felt like spiders! Thousands of little, spiky legs crawling over her shields, pointed teeth injecting icy venom into their surface. It wasn't the way she'd expected him to react. But it was clear the game was over.

At first Kaleb thought she was having another breakdown. But then she murmured a single, confused word that set his mind on high alert:

"Trackers?!"

Kaleb switched to the mental plane at once. And the shock he'd seen in Alja hit him as well. There were at least a hundred tracker-viruses sucking to her shields. Their silvery threads were weaving a viral net all around her mind. But the worst was the way her shields reacted: Alja was obviously fighting it, but the insidious viruses caused spots of her shields to crystallize like ice flowers and where they did, the waterfall of her shields stopped flowing.

Alja was about to give up fighting whatever Kaleb had finally chosen to end her. But through the freezing structure of her shields she saw sharp black bands of telepathic energy wrapping around her from all sides, aiming to cut her off the Net completely. And she knew it wasn't Kaleb. Although she couldn't see the attacker, she had seen that brand of telepathic prison often enough, while she worked as an Arrow.

This was Ming's work.

He was trapping her so he'd have all the time in the world to get through her shields. And he would. Those tracker viruses had been built and calibrated exactly for her kind of shields. They'd freeze them and once they'd lost their liquid consistency they could be broken by a telepathic blow if it was strong enough. And it would be. Ming was a cardinal.

Kaleb considered trying to remove the spiderlike tracker-viruses from Alja's shields but decided it was easier if he got her away first. So he let part of his mind switch back to the physical world and grabbed her face in both hands. "Relink! I'll get you out."

She tried. Her shields wouldn't move. Not enough.

Stupid! She should have known they'd try again. And the attack had been cleverly planned: The trackers had lurked around Kaleb's well visible star, expecting Alja to link to him. But this time they'd waited until she unlinked, effectively showing where she was. And once they'd attacked they could block him from moving her mind away again.

Suddenly a bolt of energy shot past her mind, made of lightning shaped like a snake. It crashed somewhere past her and revealed a cardinal bright star. Kaleb had crushed Ming's disguise. The black bands retreated but more and more trackers collected around her shields. They had to be coming from somewhere else. Before she could think about it further she heard Ming's voice, unshaken, cold.

"Trying to kill me? Don't you know I'd probably take millions with me?" He was right. The Net in its current state wouldn't tolerate the death of another Councilor without severe consequences.

"You're trying to take something that is mine. Do you really think I care about collateral damage?" Kaleb's counter question held all the cold, merciless power he hadn't let her see during the last weeks. It made her shudder to realize what he might be capable of.

"I wasn't talking to you, Kaleb. I don't suppose she left you in a state to be reasoned with. But our little empath here, I'm sure she cares."

Oh god, he was right! As much as Alja wanted the man dead, she couldn't be the cause of more devastation to the Net and her people. And Ming knew. He was playing on it.

"Well, pity I don't care what she cares about."

With that another bolt of lightning shot past Alja. This time Ming's star flickered and moved a little further away as if to get out of range. But before he got far, a wave of lightning-like energy flared out from Kaleb's star to encompass the whole area around them. It didn't do much to Ming but revealed two more pristine stars. One was the source of the spiderlike trackers that kept crawling deeper into her shields. Tatiana and Shoshanna. Stripped of their disguise they started to attack Kaleb too. – They didn't even scratch his defenses. His response however shook the Net. Alja had never seen telepathic energy like that. It felt almost physical; more like Tk. But that wasn't possible inside the Net. Or was it? Alja watched the three other Councilors reinforce their shields. It was what she was trained to do, and she knew it wouldn't be enough against the brand of power Kaleb had just released. Three Councilors! That meant countless deaths!

"Kaleb stop!" she screamed on the physical and mental plane alike.

"I won't let them take you!" His answer came out adamant like the hardest rock, while he effortlessly deflected another round of attacks.

Alja's mind raced. Logic, something logical must work. "Right but risking a collapse in the Net is inefficient! Just hit me hard enough that I lose consciousness and drop out. Please it's not worth it you must see that!"

The hell he would. Hurting Alja was not an option. But the desperation in her plea made him pause. Fucked up as it was, killing them would hurt her too. "There's another way out of this." Only he had hoped he'd never have to show this side of his ability, not to her at least. But he would save her even if she ran as fast as she could when she saw what he could do. Even if it meant he had to give her up after all.

So he did the one thing he knew would separate them effectively from their attackers. He fused the two varieties of his ability and ripped a crevice in the very fabric of the Net between them and the other Councilors. Under his strength it tore just like paper and every mental connection snapped. The Net rippled under the psychic earthquake it caused and an unbearable mental noise hit them for a split second. Then the shockwave kicked them both out of the psychic plane – along any other mind in the range of a small country.

Alja jumped up from the bed looking at him terrified. Just as he'd thought she would. Her breath came out in jagged gasps. Her eyes were restlessly skating through the room. She was panicked.

"You almost killed them!" But if she was honest, that wasn't what scared her most. Her mortification at finally seeing Kaleb's deadly potential was quickly shoved aside by the realization what had almost happened to her: Her shields were no longer invincible. The one place she had always been able to retreat to no longer safe.

Kaleb kept his distance and held his hands up in a soothing attitude, trying not to scare her further. Then he tried to explain. "It is not as bad as it looked. And it's over now. Just breathe deeply." He couldn't have her lose it now. His own emotions were too whipped up to react in any way reasonable. Seeing her frozen shields had almost driven him mad with fear for her.

He had no idea how bad it was, Alja thought. He hadn't felt them creep through her shields like no one had ever before. But he still kept talking.

"There was no one in the vicinity to be harmed. I can fix the tear later. I had to do it to get you out." He was having trouble to keep his own voice calm right now. But he needed her to get it back together enough to allow a teleport. He had to get her out before one of them cracked irrevocably.

And slowly she understood him. Had she been in any other condition she would have been ashamed to admit it, but now that the immediate threat to the Net was gone and she didn't feel the residual of a thousand deaths, what he had done to the Net and anyone in it was the least of her worries. Because what they'd almost done to her was even worse for the entire Net. "I don't fucking care what you did to get me out of there! They were getting inside. No one can ever come inside my shields!" The thought made the panic rise even higher. Inside her shields had been her sanctuary. They could hurt her body and wear her psyche down, but no one had ever gotten inside her mind.

"They won't get close to you again. I'll take care of it. Try to calm down and flex your shields. We need to get to a secure location." He felt her shields give in at once. He had thought it would take a lot more to convince her to do it after what she'd just seen him do. He was beyond surprise. "You're not afraid of what I did but that they came through some minor layers of your shielding?"

She stared at him in disbelief, her head shaking indignantly. "Just get me out of here."

The next second they were in the cabin at the mountain top – his private hiding place – where he gathered her into his arms at once.

Oh fuck no! She tried to push him away. But he didn't let her go. He just pulled her closer, pressing his lips on her hair, on her face. The words he mumbled in between the kisses were spoken fierce and husky.

"I won't let them harm you. … I promise I won't. … You're safe… And I will keep you safe no matter what! … You're safe…"

"Get away from me! I'm not losing it again. I'm just fucking scared! Why do you want to break me so badly? I admitted that you beat me. Isn't that enough?" She pushed at him angrily.

He seemed reluctant to let go, but allowed her some space, leaving only his hands at the side of her arms to steady her, because she seemed as if she was about to sway. But he was rubbed so raw the words just rushed out of him. "What the hell, Alja! You're an empath. Don't you sense this is real? Don't you know that I'm burning up for you?"

The words struck like lightning. "What?" Alja didn't believe her ears. And she couldn't think straight. Everything just crashed in on her mind. And then she felt it: an incredible pressure against the blocks she'd put over her empathic senses. She opened them just a fraction and was hit by a storm of raw emotion, desire and protectiveness that was just as violent as the one inside herself. "But I didn't project…" Yet she must have, her subconscious using her ability trying to secure her survival in mortal terror. She tried to reign in any emotional impulses, tried to stop whatever projection she failed to sense, but Kaleb's sudden closeness was just overpowering her senses.

"As if you needed that to make me fall for you! – I simply need to feel when I'm with you. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, it was there. And I no longer care what it costs me. I just want you close to me. I need you like I need to breathe!" All the ice, all the control had gone from his voice and left it raw, sounding like the pure, aching need for her he had tried to suppress for too long. "So if you want me to stop, because you don't feel that kind of attraction, say it and I will never touch you again. But don't think I don't care. Never think I am cold towards you!"

He stepped back giving her more space, his hands still on the sides of her arms, waiting for her response.

She was dumbstruck for agonizingly long seconds. The meaning of his words was working itself through her reason, while she looked into his magnificent eyes that were suddenly so full of life, full of emotion. When she finally found her voice again she could barely stammer the words she wanted to say. "Don't…" was all she got out.

He let his arms drop immediately. Feeling a surge of wild disappointment he forced himself to increase the distance between them further. He would never touch her if she said 'no', even if it tore out the heart that had just awakened in his chest.

But that was not what she had meant. "Don't. Ever. Stop!" she whispered at last, unable to stand letting him break the contact she so craved for.

His arms were around her the second she said it, his lips crushing on hers in a kiss so wild it took her breath away and tore through her body like white lightning.

It was just what she needed. Touch, sensation, intensity, everything that would make her feel alive, make her forget the panic and the threat that had just come too close. And then there was no holding back. There were no barriers left. They both had fought this craving for too long.

Alja kissed Kaleb back with desperate need, while he backed her against the wall of the cabin with a few steps, pressing his body hard against hers. She dug her fingers into his shoulders to get him even closer but she knew she needed more.

"Skin!" was the single husky word she got out against his lips, while she hustled her arms between them. She fumbled at the buttons of his shirt shortly before she decided it wasn't worth the time and ripped it open from top to bottom sending the buttons flying in every direction. Eyes lingering on the sight of the gorgeous planes of his chest and stomach she pushed it down as fast as possible, not bearing to let his hands leave her skin for the time it took to get rid of it. But they were back a second later peeling off her black tank top and the practical sports bra in one fluent move. His breath caught for a moment when he saw the lush curves of her bare breasts. Then his hands were on them shaping and stroking, burning on her touch-depraved skin.

Kaleb felt the pain of the dissonance set in, but no pictures of murder started flashing before his eyes. He tried to diffuse some bursts of Tk somewhere outside while his hands stayed focused on exploring Alja's creamy skin. She sucked in a breath, when he brushed his thumbs over her taut nipples. He immediately repeated the movement.

Her hands clawed into his shoulders instinctively, feeling his muscles coiled under hot skin. It made the place where her thighs joined turn to liquid. Then her mouth found his again. This time she let him feel her teeth.

The sensation sent his blood rushing to his groin. He had to feel her, taste her! Pushing one thigh between hers he pressed her harder against the wall, locking her in place and lowered his head to put his mouth on those gorgeous, soft mounds.

Alja already thought she'd explode with sensation when she felt his erection push hard against her lower abdomen. But when he sucked one of her nipples between his lips to let his tongue flick over it, the world blacked out for a second. "Kaleb!" It came out a gasp. Her head dropped back against the wall.

Kaleb found he liked it very much to hear her say his name in that needy voice that no longer held any hint of the controlled soldier she had played all the time. It stroked part of his ego he hadn't known existed. He rewarded her by grazing his teeth over the side of her breast. Then repeated the caress on the other side.

Alja's upper body arched involuntarily towards his mouth while her hips jerked forward without conscious control increasing the maddening friction of his thigh against the sensitive place at the apex of her thighs. She had never wanted anything like she wanted Kaleb's touch. She reached down to undo his belt and pants, while he kissed his way up her breasts, licking off the thin sheen off sweat that started to cover their upper sides.

She tasted even better than he'd dreamt.

His dream! NO! How could he have forgotten?

His control slipped further and further with every greedy kiss, every burning caress from Alja. And when she stroked her fingers down his abdomen into the waistband of his briefs, the cabin finally began to shake around them.

Alja's wrists were pinned above her head by strong male hands a mere second later. Kaleb lifted his body off hers but his self-restraint didn't suffice to retreat when she leaned forward and kissed him hard in protest of being stopped from doing as she wanted.

And oh how he wanted to let her. Something clattered behind him. Probably some utensils dropping from the shelf in the wet-room. "Stop me Alja. I am going to hurt you." A distressed statement that was almost lost in the wildness of the kiss.

But Alja had understood. She pulled back her head to look directly into his eyes. And when she answered there was an almost angry determination in her words. "No you won't. You're gonna make me forget all of this fucked up mess before I go insane." Her voice turning softer but no less determined she added. "I'll do the same for you."

"I can't. My powers…" he helplessly tried again, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop if she didn't make him.

"Focus on my shields. They can take it." And with that she lowered her head and bit down on the curve of his neck. She didn't leave him a choice. Her teeth left a mark that pulsed with the most exquisite pleasure-pain – and shattered the last bit of his resistance. Reluctantly he let go of any attempt to direct the psychic impulses that escaped his mind away from the woman in front of him and turned them on her instead. The outer world at least stopped trembling and her shields drank in his energy as if they were as starved for it as her body seemed for his touch.

And he'd give her that as well.

Her loose cargo pants dropped to the floor the moment he'd loosened the belt. And when he came up to claim her lips again she locked her arms around his neck and jumped to wrap her legs around his waist, pressing her hot core against his massive erection.

No way in hell was she going to let him stop. Not if it was the end of the world. And it very well could be with Kaleb's powers spinning out of control. Alja was beyond caring. If this was madness, so be it.

Kaleb could feel the heat of her through the fabric of their remaining clothing and it was instinct to grab her thighs, pin her to the wall once more and settle himself against her to intensify the sensation. It made her moan out in pleasure.

But he still needed her even closer.

So he slid one hand around her hips to hold her up, the other wrapping around her nape pulling her head closer so he didn't have to break the kiss when he lifted her off the wall and turned to lower them both on the bed with a speed that shouldn't have been possible with his Tk blocked.

Alja felt the weight of him settle on her – hot, hard and gloriously male, the sensation enough to ignite her whole body, if it hadn't already been on fire. She let her hands run down his back, pulling him even further down towards her. The heat of his skin on hers only fueled the hunger for him deep inside. And when he kissed his way down her neck towards her breasts again, she knew she couldn't take one more second without him inside her. She frantically pushed down his briefs and pants using her hands and even her feet. But when she wanted to touch him she found her hand pulled away again.

Kaleb reacted on instinct. If he let her touch him now he would lose it for sure. But when he leaned forward to place her hand beside her head the tip of his erection touched her. And he felt her, even through her panties. Hot. Wet. Ready.

He froze in a desperate attempt to restrain himself. But he knew he was done for. Only the iron control he had exercised for decades kept him from losing control completely.

Alja felt the tension between them rise impossibly higher. Kaleb's body radiated electric heat inches above her and his eyes were full of wild desire. She could feel it as strong as her own. And she was almost certain she didn't even need her empathy. She could feel him under her skin, in her blood: Like electricity and his very personal brand of darkness. His emotions as savage and raw as hers. This was so much more than she could have ever imagined, when her senses were numbed, her emotional range dulled by the adjusted Silence Protocol.

She rolled her hips towards him in invitation, rubbing herself against the hard length of him.

It was all it took.

He reached down for the flimsy fabric that still separated them and with a single strong pull the soft cotton of her panties gave way. The next moment he pushed inside her unable to hold back any longer.

She screamed.

An almost painful pleasure shot through her entire body as he stretched her to the limits but she reflexively clung to him urging him to go deeper.

Kaleb had never thought he would like to hear a woman scream, but Alja's voice was liquid fire in his veins. And it made his body move in a primal rhythm beyond conscious control. He tried to go slow, but when he felt her muscles clench around him it proved impossible. He must not hurt her! He tried to hold on to that last conscious thought he was capable of. But she kept pulling him impossibly closer, her fingers clawing into his back, the bites of her nails delicious on his skin. She craved this just as desperately as him. The realization made him finally give in and he let the violence of passion sweep him under.

Alja wrapped her legs around Kaleb's waist to take him deeper inside her. Even as the sensation threatened to overpower her she dug her heels in the backs of his thighs urging him to go faster, harder. Her dark desires had never been so fully merged to her self and even the remnants of death inside her seemed to burn up in the flames of passion. She had never felt so whole, even as her body writhed under the weight of incandescent pleasure.

It was a raw storm of emotion and sensation that gripped them both and tossed them around without mercy.

Kaleb drank every pleasured cry from Alja's lips only giving her time to breathe when he let his mouth wander down her neck to the lush temptation of her breasts. He wanted to drown in that taste, that scent of life that was so genuinely Alja's.

And he gave her exactly what she needed, driving into her with a raw power that should have frightened her. Instead it made her nerves explode. And when the orgasm tore through her with a violence that had lights explode in her head, she screamed his name.

Even Kaleb's control had a limit. Alja's scream and the way her body shook under him just pushed him over the edge. He felt his body lock under the overload of sensation and the last thing he saw was a crackle of sparks that erupted around them where his Tk crashed into her shields with full force. And with a low, male gasp he buried his face against the side of hers.