Chapter 29
Niles was pacing. He could've paced through the floor by now and onto the floor below, and he wouldn't have noticed. He wouldn't have cared, either. Not unless somehow boring his way through and crashing down onto the next floor gave him a plan to rescue his wife and unborn child, that was.
It had to be a strong, solid plan that was completely foolproof. He wouldn't settle for anything less.
He hadn't thought of one as of yet, though. He'd been going over the little updated information he had about his wife – she was alive, yes, but where? Where had his father sent her off to, knowing that Niles wouldn't think to look if he thought she was dead? The country was too big to search it all – not before the baby was born, at any rate.
They didn't have enough time as it was, and there was no guarantee Laurens would wake up to let them know where she could be found. He'd already sent a letter off to Maxwell that requested his help, but time was of the essence. He'd had to consider every possible idea, including bringing in mercenaries - even hiring some sort of assassin who knew how to track their mark!
All of them had seemed like they'd lead to fruitless endeavours at the end of it, though. He was just one man – a prince, but just a man nonetheless – and it would take an entire army, not just one hired tracker, or even a band of them, to even stand a chance of finding her before it was too late...
He had to do it completely discreetly, too, and how was he supposed to do that? By sending a serving boy with a bag full of money to the nearest, shadiest inn, in the hopes of finding a band of brigands or a man who could make the problem go away? How would that work? How could he be certain that the boy wouldn't be robbed, or that it wouldn't get back to the wrong people that he had set the whole thing up?
He couldn't. And it all seemed so frustratingly complicated!
He felt the anger starting to boil up inside him again. God, how he wished he'd punched his father a few more times! Maybe enough to beat out every single detail of where C.C. was, who had her, and what it would take to get her back!
Maybe this would all be over by now, if he had. Instead––
Knock, knock, knock.
The sound at the door made him start so much he halted in his pacing, and he turned to look.
With any luck, it would be his father, pushing his own luck to his limits by thinking he was welcome enough to show his face. Joseph was notorious for trying to weasel his way back into people's good books, after all...
But once he had called for the person to enter, he was more than a little bit disappointed that it was merely a guard at the door.
The prince very nearly sighed as he watched the guard give a low bow (he must have been new and eager to please – who bowed so low to a prince?). He'd already balled up his fist, and everything...
"What do you want?" he asked.
"Begging your pardon, my lord," the guard began, shifting from one foot to the other, as though he was uncomfortable at the thought of having to say anything at all. "But...but your father has been in an accident. He...he fell, from an open window after drinking some. He is dead, sir."
Niles then actually felt himself stumble; the taut chains that had previously been holding him on his paced path suddenly disappeared. They were placed by an immediate sense of sock, caving in into a deep pit (whether he liked that feeling or not).
Joseph. King Joseph, dead from a misadventure. Just when he'd been awake and walking around not long before!
Niles let his next breath come out in shudders. His...his father...the man he'd once looked up to and admired for his charm and obvious way with women.
He'd thought it had to be the most admirable way to live and had treated his father like some sort of warrior-poet-scholar-king. But now, he knew differently. Beneath feeling like a fool, he felt hurt as well, for believing...any of it! He'd nearly let the bastard lead him astray, down the own fiery path his father was probably taking right then!
But it had all ended so swiftly, and he'd gotten to live his new (second) dream of punching his father's face in mere hours ago! And of course he had done it while drinking! Niles should've guessed that it would happen that way!
It was just too typical. The only thing that could've made it all more like Joseph was if he'd have fallen out the window with no grace or dignity, just the clumsy loutishness that Niles had come to expect, and all the while a whore's lips fitted around his-
"There was nothing anybody could do," the guard continued. "I...I cannot tell you how sorry I am...Your Majesty."
If it hadn't been for the last two words slapping Niles' mind in the face as soon as they were out, he wouldn't told the guard not to even dream of feeling sorry. Joseph deserved what he'd clearly gotten, but it was a long way from that to suddenly finding everybody calling him "Your Majesty"!
He...he had to be king now, didn't he? That was the whole point, his reawakening mind was trying to tell him – his father was dead! That meant that he was king now, with all of what that entailed!
He could send armies to do anything. To look for his beloved, to hunt down the people who might have her...
As it grew, the plan began to swell in his head. It made his knees so weak that he nearly sank to them, the breath on his lips leaving with a noise that sounded like "huh...?!"
The guard ignored his obviously less-than-monarch-like response and continued saying whatever he had been ordered to, in order to get him to go and take care of it all.
"Her Majesty the Queen...your good lady mother...was in hysterics when I left to find you. She had... been with your lord father in his last moments, and was in need of comforting, after it all ended in tragedy."
That was a piece of information that changed everything, even more than it had done before.
His mother. His mother had been the one who was there, doing whatever it was his father had wanted, when the...accident...had happened?!
He was surprised that it wasn't one of his whores he'd dragged up to his chambers from the streets to do his business in, really. It would've made the ending almost storybook-worthy in its completeness if he had!
That was, in an odd way, slightly disappointing. Probably because it meant his father was not being punished for the deed in the manner of his death. But it also made Niles start to worry. If he had taken this fall in a drunken stupor, what else had he been doing in a drunken stupor...?! Was his mother distressed because Joseph had fallen in front of her, or was it because he'd...
Niles didn't even want to think of it! It would only give him another reason to want to punch the man – even the corpse would suffice – and curse and spit.
But he had his mother to attend to. She was more important than any revenge he could ever take, and she needed him right at that moment
"Look for one of my stewards and tell him to summon the Privy Council," Niles said to the guard. "The Lords are expected here in two hours' time. Oh, and look for Mr George Laurens, my butler. He's badly hurt and currently recovering at Mr FitzStewart's home – my driver knows the way, you can ask him for directions. Be careful when you bring him here and inform Dr Potts of his impending arrival. Also, do tell Mr FitzStewart I need to speak to him, urgently."
After delivering his first order as king, Niles stalked out of the room, not caring to hear his guard's reply. He knew he couldn't be refused now – as king of the realm his word was law. The mere thought sent a rush of adrenaline coursing through her body. Would he ever get used to having this amount of power? He certainly hoped so. Otherwise he'd end up like his father, consumed by power and his deluded perception of himself.
The mere thought was enough to make Niles gag.
The last thing he wanted in this world was to be like his bastard of a father. He'd promised this not only to himself, but also to C.C. and to his mother. He couldn't fail them. Not this time.
As he made his way up to his mother's chambers, he couldn't help but notice that the palace's hallways were unusually dark and silent. Niles found this, ironically enough, rather soothing. He really didn't think he could bear courtiers or servants bowing to him or pledging their allegiance. This was the prelude to his ascension. He felt almost as if he were an artist about to step on stage for the very first time – he felt a though he was about to meet his fate.
As such, silence was a much welcomed (and much needed) thing. The time to talk would come soon enough, but not now.
As he walked, he couldn't help but think about the life he was leaving behind. A life of self-indulgence and little to no responsibility. He wasn't particularly proud of how he'd conducted himself in the last few years. He'd been nothing but a conceited, self-serving cad. He'd done way too little for his people, hurt too many maidens, and turned a blind eye to the suffering of others. If he didn't know better, he'd have attributed his juvenile behaviour to lack of experience and the recklessness of youth. That wasn't the case, of course – he'd been raised to be that way by the very man he was to replace.
The apple really hadn't fallen far from the tree, and it had almost completely rotted to the core in the process. But now, he had the opportunity to be better. He'd learned that he could be better, and that there was a better way to lead his life. And it was all thanks to the woman the entire kingdom would be searching for, as soon as he gave the order.
She was going to make a remarkable queen. And he said it that way because he would do everything in his power to see her returned home, alive and well, and carrying their child...
He'd have his family back before he knew it, and the people who had taken them from him in the first place would be punished to the fullest extent of the law – High Treason, a crime punishable by death, in a particularly slow and agonising way.
He felt that they would deserve it. And that was coming from someone who would ordinarily never wish the death penalty on anybody. Not when another method was available and the person had been remorseful in their actions.
But some things were just too big, and too wrong, to possibly forgive.
It was with this thought in mind that Niles arrived at his mother's room and was met by the heart-breaking sight of his poor mother in a miserable state. She was cooped up in bed, wearing nothing but a thin nightgown that probably didn't shield her from the crisp November chill, and with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"Mama!" he took off at a brisk pace to go to her side, not caring anymore about not making noise or having a moment of quiet reflection. All he wanted was to get to his mother, who was clearly having the worst time of her life. "Mama, I'm here – I'm here, it's alright..."
It very clearly wasn't alright. No matter what either one of them really thought or felt about the dead pig whose body was taking up space on the cobblestones outside, it would have cut her to the core to see it happen. To know that there wasn't anything she could do...
His mother was too good for the world a lot of the time, even if the world could never pay her back for it. A lot of the time, it simply moved onto the net thing that could possibly cause her hurt, but she didn't stop being good even then.
She didn't stop being kind. And Niles knew now, more than ever, which parent he should've been emulating for so many years. His decisions had been shameful and he felt nothing but regret for them.
At least he had stopped. He knew better, and he was going to use the knowledge to bring together and take care of his family, as quickly as he could.
None of them would ever be apart again.
He seated himself next to his mother on her bed, and then turned to the guard.
"Leave us," he commanded. Doing that as a king was going to take some getting used to, but for this, it was necessary. "See to it that...my father's body...is being handled as is necessary."
He didn't care if they were tossing the thing about like a rag doll or using the head as though it were a puppet by making the mouth move to "say" amusing things in reality, but it felt like the correct thing to say. It wasn't as though he was going to offer his father much more dignity in death – that was something he had already decided. There would be no state funeral. No grave pomp or circumstance. No expenses paid, let alone spared. There would only be an unmarked tomb in a graveyard no one had ever heard of, let alone visited, and his father would pass into history with no more ceremony than a small funeral attended by practically no one.
He'd be remembered for his death, nothing else.
There were no heroic deeds to remember, no cunning shows of statesmanship, no laudable feats or sacrifices for his people. He'd been a pitiful man and a pitiful king, and he'd turned his back on everything and everyone he should have taken care of. His mother was probably the best example of this.
"Maman, I promise it will be alright," he said softly, rubbing a hand up and down his mother's back. "I'm here now…"
The Queen Mother didn't reply. She continued to lie motionless, eyes unfocused. He'd never seen her in such a wretched state! Not even when she'd told him that she had syphilis. She was the picture of a woman who'd seen far too much – a woman who was both burdened and haunted by memories that were too much alike nightmares.
A woman who'd lost so much…
"We've lost eet all, son," she croaked, tears starting to fall again. Real tears, for even if Marie wasn't hurting for Joseph, she hurt for everything else she'd lost. "C.C. and zhe baby… bozh gone..."
Niles could feel his heart being squeezed to the size of a pin's head. His mother's life had been a heartbreaking series of losses – first, when she'd married his father, she'd lost her home country and religion. Then, Joseph's treatment of her had robbed her of her innocence. Fate had taken most of her children from her in ways that were too painful to even think about, a situation that had been repeated with C.C. and the baby. Having seen her own husband fall to a violent death mustn't have been easy, either, no matter how much she'd loathed him. Some things were simply too traumatic to witness.
It made Niles feel powerless, even with all the power his new position entailed. He was on a sinking canoe, trying to keep water from filtering through the cracks by covering them with his hands. But even if he might not have been able to make everything better, he could give her hope – a silver lining, if you will.
He could tell her that C.C. and the baby were alive and that, as king, he now stood a fighting chance at getting them back! It probably wouldn't make his mother feel a lot better in herself to know, but it was a lot better than nothing.
"Maman, we haven't lost them," he said gently, continuing to rub her back. "We have a witness who knew the truth from the start – he's unconscious, currently, but he told us C.C. and the baby are alive! Father didn't kill her or the child. Not yet, at least. She's been kidnapped and is being held captive by a noble family – they've bought the baby off Father and plan on killing C.C. as soon as she gives birth!"
Marie choked on the sob in her throat, forcing her to come to a stop.
C.C...and the baby...they were alive?! There was a witness who could say that Joseph had been lying about having her killed right away?!
If she hadn't just done it, she would've murdered the bastard all over again for lying about killing their daughter-in-law and their only grandchild! For selling off their grandchild as though a baby was a loaf of bread, or book you could pass on to whomever he wanted! For sending their daughter-in-law to her death, and making sure her husband was left in the dark, never knowing and always grieving!
She would've made his death a thousand times more painful, and the last memory he would ever leave in anyone's heads a thousand times more embarrassing, if she had known he would do this!
She could only hope that the good Lord above had managed to take note of that sin before Joseph had met his end and had acted accordingly! She already knew the bastard would be suffering in Hell, but she wanted to be sure that he was suffering for absolutely everything that he had done! With any luck, this would have made his eternal punishment even worse!
But his current state was of no real concern. Back on Earth, the news she'd just heard would be a miracle if it was true – if her daughter-in-law was alive, along with her grandchild, then Niles could find them before it was too late!
She was sure it could happen, if it was all really real. They needed that witness to wake up, and by the grace of God, Marie hoped they would. Niles had to make it to his beloved wife and their unborn child in time...
He had to find his family. And never let them down. Not like his father had done.
Not...not like she had done, with dawning horror and realisation that hit like she had just fallen and crashed to the ground.
She had killed Joseph for something that hadn't even happened! C.C. and the baby were alive – there was nothing to take revenge for! Of course, she always knew she would've gone to whatever lengths it took for her family, but she had committed murder over a lie! A lie that, had she been told about sooner, would've meant that she'd never have gone near her husband!
Niles, meanwhile, had noticed that, along with the sudden quietness, his mother's face had taken on the colour of ash. That worried him. He'd been in combat and he'd seen men take on similar looks, usually just after they'd witnessed something devastating, or had had to do something that they couldn't live with...
It wasn't the reaction he'd hoped for. It wasn't even a little better than before – if anything, it somehow looked worse! He didn't understand how that could be, when he knew how much she loved C.C. and would have doted on the baby!
He couldn't let it pass, not even if it was probably just the shock of his father's death still.
"Maman?" he asked gently. "You...you heard what I said, didn't–"
"I 'eard what you said," Marie replied quietly and slowly sat up.
She felt sick, but she was resolved. What else could she do, but tell her son what she had done? It never would've happened, if it hadn't been for her. She thought she had spared her son from having to blacken his soul and had avenged her family. But all she'd done was...commit a murder...betray the country that she'd made her home...
Forced her son into the position of having to charge his mother with high treason.
She'd have lived with the guilt of killing Joseph. But she could never live with the guilt of hurting her son.
"I...I 'ave somezhing to tell you," she eventually got out, trying not to burst into tears before she could make it.
Her boy looked so innocent when he blinked back at her. It was going to break her heart all over again, knowing she had to take the blissful ignorance it away.
"Mama?" he asked tentatively. "What are you talking about...?"
It had to be gotten out in one go. Like ripping off a caught fingernail.
"Your fazher's deazh was no accident. I...I pushed 'im from zhat window."
She continued with her explanation before Niles had a chance to react. Not so that she could explain herself – she knew there was no real, lawful justification – it just came, as though it were a waterfall, rushing fast and too powerful to stop.
Just like her real tears, as they started to fall.
"I could not 'elp myself! I was so angry, upon 'earing what 'e said 'e 'ad done to C.C. and zhe baby! I 'ad 'ad enough! So I planned eet all. I...I lured 'im 'ere, wizh zhe promise of an...eentimate evening...and plied 'im wizh drugged wine! And when we were...een zhe middle of eet all, I unlatched zhe window, got 'im into a...well, a position where 'e would be next to zhe window, and...and I pushed."
Niles felt like he had been pushed himself, upon listening to the...the confession his mother was telling him. And said push had sent him hurtling over a cliff, possibly into an abyss of which he had yet to meet the floor.
The fall felt just as devastating as the crashing would. He knew that already.
His own mother...his Maman...she'd been the one to do it?! She'd killed his father?! No – no, no; it couldn't have happened like that! There had to be some mistake, or misunderstanding!
She couldn't have done it – she was too good for that! Too pure. Too innocent! She'd never harmed a thing in her life, and yet now she was claiming that she had taken the life of a person?!
But she wouldn't have joked about something like that, or lied. Why couldn't she be lying or joking, though?! She'd killed Joseph for C.C. and the baby! She'd knowingly committed a murder, because she'd thought her own daughter-in-law and grandchild had been murdered!
That softened and melted him inside in the most desperately tragic of ways, sending his stomach swirling and squirming into guilt. He let his head (as it swam) fall into his hands just before the tears fell. Why hadn't he told her immediately?! He should have done it before it was too late – none of this would've happened if he'd told her!
She wouldn't have had to do it...
His father hadn't deserved his life. He'd been a cruel, selfish boor of a man, and he'd hurt so many people over the years that he'd only ever be remembered for how much he was hated. His death was certainly necessary and deserved, but his mother didn't deserve to have to shoulder the burden – she shouldn't have had to take it upon herself to do the deed!
She was too good for this, and yet Niles had failed to protect her from his father and his father's responsibilities once again!
"Oh, Niles…" Marie said, both voice and heart cracked.
The Queen Mother had never been able to stand seeing her son in pain. She wasn't a violent person by nature, but whenever she'd seen her son hurt or crying, her rage could have scorched entire planets to a crisp. Niles and, by extension, C.C. and their baby, were the only reason Marie was willing to become a vindictive witch. She wouldn't allow anyone or anything to hurt them, and that included herself.
In her eyes, her greatest sin was having made her own son cry.
"My sweet, sweet boy," she said, wanting to hold him but not daring to – she had no right, after what she'd done. "I am so very sorry… I…I didn't know! I wouldn't 'ave done eet eef I'd known C.C. was still alive."
The Queen Mother sniffed and looked at her son, who was sobbing quietly. His silence was worse than the Eternal Damnation that she knew was waiting for her when she crossed to the next life. She couldn't blame him, of course – he probably was asking the Good Lord what he'd done to deserve such horrible parents.
There was, at that point, only one thing left to do.
"Alright zhen," she said shakily – it would be a lie to say she wasn't afraid of the gallows. It was the fate she deserved, but it scared her, nonetheless. "I…I will get dressed, son. You can go and call for zhe guards. I'll be ready to go to zhe Tower een no time."
Even in his despair, Niles heard what she said. And he knew exactly what she meant when she said it. The Tower. The only prison in the land reserved for nobility, where they either spent the rest of their days or...
…Or they were kept until they were executed.
If he'd felt like he was falling before, hearing the words made it feel like he'd just been overtaken by his own stomach.
"No!" he cried aloud, feeling his mother starting to move and attempt to climb out of bed, and clutching at her arm to stop her from moving.
He wasn't going to let her do it. He wasn't going to let her go to that awful place, willingly or otherwise! It didn't matter what she'd done – she was his mother! What kind of a son would he be if he just let her give up her life like that?! If he trialled her?! Signed her death warrant?!
How could he do it, when all she'd wanted to do was protect and avenge her family, against a man who had done nothing to deserve the life he'd had and had earned the death he'd gotten?!
How could he do it, when he loved her, and had promised her a better life now that he had changed?
It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. How could he claim to be a good king, better than his father by far, if he didn't see justice served, not just obey the letter of the law? How could he be a good man, not just better than his father but better for himself, if he did wrong by the people he loved?
His mother didn't deserve what the cold words of the law books would say. Ink was ignorant of the nature of men; it had no eyes to see the situation, or a mind to understand the hearts of people. It was a guideline, but it needed someone to know the circumstances and follow it with these in mind.
And that was what Niles would do. He knew what had happened, both then and before, and he would put the law exactly where it belonged in this case.
Marie's eyes welled up with fresh tears, that then spilled over as she took in a hitched breath.
"Niles...you...you 'ave to let me go," she said, voice broken and shaking. "I broke zhe law – I committed treason, I killed a––"
" ––brute who deserved what he got," Niles firmly finished her sentence for her, never once letting go of her arm. "That bastard had his death coming for so many years, Maman. I am not going to let you take a punishment for simply putting an end to him getting out of it for all that time...!"
This only seemed to distress his mother even more, which sent a crack straight through his heart.
"But...but you are king now, Niles! You are supposed to up'old zhe law, no matter what! And whezher we like eet or not, I...I killed a man! I commeetted an act of evil!"
The crack in Niles' heart splintered painfully, and he blinked away more tears.
"Don't say that!" he cried out, shaking by this point. "You could never...you are not...you are my mother, I love you, and in my eyes, you have done nothing wrong. I refuse to send you away for that – to...that place...or to anywhere! You're staying here, with your family, and years from now, no one will ever talk of Father except to say how he brought his own stupid death upon himself."
It was the truth, as far as Niles was concerned. Whether or not his father had been killed on purpose, he had brought it upon himself by being a lying, cheating bastard of a man, with no regard for anyone but himself and the horrible idea in his head that he could use people in any way that he wished, whenever he wished.
If it hadn't been Marie who'd finished it all off, it would've been an assassin's blade that did the work. Or a too-stiff drink that got him inebriated and caused a fall on the stairs. An accident when hunting. A heart attack while he was busy fucking one of his many whores...
Death after death presented itself to how his father had acted while alive (that felt very odd to have to think), and Niles could only think about how each was as plausible as the next.
But of course, not mentioning this line of reasoning aloud clearly left room for doubt in his mother's mind.
"But I would still know what I did, Niles! And I know zhat what I did deserves punishing!"
Niles sighed, feeling the pressure start to crack the rest of his insides, as well as his now-battered heart.
"You haven't done anything that you need punishing for, Maman. If the law cannot see it, then I can. I promised you a new life, complete with the happiness that had been missing before. I'm not taking that away from you just because some book written by a man who most probably isn't alive anymore said I should! What does he know of me, or you, or the situation we have been in? It is not up to him what happens – it is up to me as king of this land, and I say that you will not go to the Tower."
He pulled his mother into a tight hug, not wanting to let go. He didn't care what she'd done – to him, she was not a monster or even guilty. Her actions has been motivated by despair, and his bastard of a father deserved everything he'd gotten. He was nothing to no one anymore, and Niles was not going to let his mother surrender her life to pay for Joseph's when he knew hers was much more valuable.
"Niles...oh...son, what 'ave I done?!" Marie wept, leaning into his embrace and body shaking with her desperate cries. "'ow will you ever forgive me?!"
"Nothing, Mama, you've done nothing wrong..." Niles insisted. "There is nothing to forgive."
Very gently, Niles kissed the side of her head and rubbed her back. This was obviously a very difficult time for her – she'd have to come to terms with what had happened and learn to forgive herself. She hadn't cast the first stone. His father had, long ago.
Joseph had set himself up for this, with the way he'd thought, spoke and acted. And, wherever he was now – Niles could speculate – the new king hoped that his father knew it. He also hoped he knew that, compared to some, he'd had something of a quick and merciful death.
It went to show really, just how good his mother was – even when plotting a killing, she hadn't thought of anything as cruel as a full-on poisoning, or torture, or anything as savage as stab wounds or trauma.
She had been doing what she thought was right at the time, and she needed to forgive herself. It would take a long while, perhaps years, before she'd probably even consider it.
But he would be there to help her, every step of the way. And as soon as C.C. returned to where she belonged, she would help as well. Having the baby there would probably go a long way to restoring his mother's happiness, and building it up until it was greater than it had ever been.
They'd be a real family. Not the miserable bunch that just so happened to be related, like they had been under Joseph. Being the head of the family was a title and job that Niles intended to take seriously.
And to do it, he had to start by getting his family all back under the same roof.
"It will be alright," he told her, hugging her just that little bit tighter. "We will make it through this, like families do. And you will have your family here, no matter what."
That was a promise he intended to keep; whatever life threw at them, their family would endure it, and they would do it together. They'd be whole again in no time. Niles would see to it, and then they could all move on from the awful legacy that Joseph had intended to leave behind.
But he hadn't and would not succeed. He'd be left in the dirt of history, remembered only for his death and how hated he was in life.
That was the legacy he deserved, for the way he had treated his family.
And Niles was going to do everything he could to be the king, husband and father that Joseph never was.