Sorry, it's been a while. Work, trying to have some sort of life, and dividing time between stories kept me busy. I said this chapter would be more focused on Angela and her husband, but my muse took a detour while editing and decided to focus on Shawn dealing with little kids. Then Cory got involved and he's a very loud character to have in your head, lol. There is either one or two chapters left in this. It depends on if I like how the finished product fits together as one.

Thanks again for your patience and your feedback. :-)

"Again, again!"

Shawn's arms buckled and he face planted onto the carpet. He heard Angela laughing at him from where she was perched on the couch, but was too exhausted to lift his head to look at her. How did she do this every day?

"Again! Again, again!"

Didn't they know any other words? How, exactly, he had been conned into this little game he couldn't say. One minute he was feigning interest in a toy that made animal noises and the next he was on his hands and knees giving horsey rides. It wasn't so bad when they took turns and went one at a time. But then they double teamed him.

"Again!"

He looked at the kids- really looked at them. That had been his mistake. Jude had Angela's eyes and Zora her smile. He never stood a chance after that.

"Uh-oh, I think horsey is getting sleepy."

"Horsey needs to go into retirement," Shawn mumbled. "Put me out to pasture." The kids were bouncing up and down on his back, making him aware of muscles he'd long forgotten existed. They were small, barely out of the baby stage. How could they be so heavy? They may as well have been sumo wrestlers for how tired he was right now. He felt his shirt being yanked and the collar cut right across his throat. "Now you're choking horsey out. Yep," he gasped out in dramatic fashion, "it's going dark. Dad…is that you?"

"Okay, guys, let's take a break." Angela got up from the couch. She shook her head at Shawn's childish theatrics. "Shawn's really old and needs a rest. Jude, push out the ice cream cart and you and Zora can make some ice cream cones for everybody."

"'Kay, mama."

He sighed in relief when they climbed off of him. Well, Jude climbed off. Zora tumbled to the side and then used him to pull herself back up to her feet. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't grabbed handfuls of his hair to accomplish this. "Ouch," he hissed.

"We don't pull hair, Zora. Tell Shawn you're sorry for pulling his hair."

She gurgled out gibberish that sounded nothing like the English language to him, but apparently Angela was able to decipher it. He looked up when she nudged him with her foot. "What?"

"Shawn, Zora just told you she was sorry. What do you say to her?"

Why was she using the same tone with him she does with the kids? When she nudged him again- not as gently this time- he clued in. This was one of those teaching moments parents talked about. "Oh…it's okay, Zora…thanks-thank you. I forgive you." The little girl smiled at him before she turned around and toddled towards her brother on unsteady legs. "How on earth was any of that mess words?"

"Watch it," she admonished, narrowing her eyes at him. "She's just a baby and she's trying. It's not always about what she tries to say. The tone and rhythm counts, too. Haven't you ever been around toddlers?"

"Not since I was one, nope."

"If you can't understand them ask me and I will try to translate."

"You understand everything? Because, I gotta be honest, Jude's easier to talk to, but even with him I'm only getting about sixty percent of what he's saying, maybe seventy percent when he speaks up. But he practically whispers everything to me so-"

"Just don't stare at them like they're from another planet. This is their home." She rolled her eyes before she walked away from him. "You're the alien here, Hunter."

Shawn sat there for a moment, her words echoing in his head. Angela always had a way of cutting through the crap and hitting on the core of his insecurities. He was the alien. He felt like an alien everywhere he went. Cory and Topanga had their little family and he was the odd man out no matter how much Cory tried to carve out a space for him. He tried to make a home with Katy and Maya, but they went into that for all of the wrong reasons, so of course it was destined to fail. He was beginning to think he was never going to find his mothership…his home planet…his…

"Shawn?"

His head snapped up at the sound of Angela's voice and he saw Jude near him. He had a toy ice cream cone in his hand and was holding it out. "Is that for me?" The boy nodded.

"Mama say you like that kind with the green."

"She's right. I do like green mint ice cream." He was well aware that he was being watched him like a hawk, his every reaction being gauged under a microscope of maternal protection. "Thank you."

"Welcome you."

Shawn frowned momentarily, but reminded himself that the kid was only two and a half and still practicing how words fit together. He expected Jude to go back to his mother and sister, but he sat down beside him instead and shoved a book against his stomach. After the past few hours he had also figured out that little kids had zero concept of personal space. "You want me to read this?"

"Read book now."

He studied the cover. Giraffes Can't Dance. Where did they come up with the ideas for kids books? They all seemed so silly to him. "Okay." After few pages he was pretty sure he was enjoying the story more than Jude.

"Oh, thank you," Angela gushed. "Mama loves chocolate. Do I get whipped cream, too?" She held out her treat, waiting for the topping to be added, but at the last moment Zora pulled it away and hugged it to her chest, giggling like mad. "What are you doing, Zora-dorable? Are you tricking mama? Yeah? Is that funny?" She tickled her daughter's sides, making them both laugh harder. "You fooled me, you silly goose."

Shawn looked around the room and found it almost impossible not to smile. How often had he dreamed of a moment just like this? Sitting around with Angela and spending a lazy Saturday with the kids? He brought the ice cream cone up to his mouth and remembered a little too late that, much like this moment, the cone was artificial. Angela wasn't his wife and these weren't his kids. "Ouch." He glanced at Angela and couldn't tell if she looked irritated or amused. "What?"

"It's not real ice cream. You pretend to eat it."

"See goo!"

"That's right, Zora. Shawn's being the silly goose now."

/

"You're sure it's not an inconvenience?" He set his bags on the floor after bringing them in from the garage and took a step back when the dogs rushed over to investigate and sniff them.

"Shawn, I wouldn't have offered if it was. But if you'd rather sleep in your car tonight, that's on you."

He had finally gotten ahold of an actual person at the airline and wasn't going to be able to get a flight back to New York until tomorrow afternoon. "I just don't want to be in the way."

"My life is tiny little people, big furry dogs, and cleaning up after all of them. You're just another person. I won't, however, clean up after you. I remember you were never very neat. I hope that's changed."

He couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "Well…I uh…if I make a mess I promise I'll clean it up."

"Yeah, you will. Come on, guys, let's show Shawn our adventure room. He's going to sleep there tonight."

"Adventure room? What's an adventure room?" He chuckled when Jude went over to the duffle bag and pulled on the handle in an attempt to lift it. "I think it's too heavy, pal."

"Jude carry bag."

"It's okay. I can handle it."

"Jude do it."

"No, really, I-"

"Just take a shirt out of the bag and let him carry it," Angela whispered. "Or have him hold one handle while you hold the other. He wants to help and feel useful. Let him."

Shawn dug through his bag and looked for something clean to give the kid. He'd planned to do his laundry when he got home. He found a folded blue shirt at the bottom. "You can carry this. It would help me a lot." Of course the moment Jude had the shirt Zora wanted something from his bag, too. Shawn searched around, but everything else had been worn. "Here, you can carry my wallet." He was surprised when she plopped down and rifled through the various compartments. She zeroed in on his credit cards immediately. "Hey, you little thief!"

"She may be young but she's not stupid," Angela said through her laughter. "Now you can see why there are locks on my toilets."

"So she's the one who finds stuff and flushes it?"

"She's the main culprit, yeah. Okay, let's show Shawn where the adventure room is. Jude, you walk in front and be the leader."

"Okay, mama."

She scooped Zora up from the floor and held her close. It was best to keep Shawn's wallet and credit cards within eyesight at all times. There was no telling where they could end up otherwise.

"So what's this adventure room," Shawn asked as he trailed behind them down the hall.

"It's the guest bedroom decorated with pictures of some amazing places we've traveled to over the years. You know I grew up an army brat and my job took me all over the world. And Grant is a Marine…was a Marine…for twenty years." It was still so hard to think of her husband, one of the most dynamic and passionate people she had ever met, in the past tense. "So as you can imagine he saw a lot of the world as well. We loved to take pictures of the places we visited and didn't want to keep them in an album or a file on a computer where no one would ever see them. We actually based most decorating decisions around that. The pictures set the tone for the room." She shrugged. "I don't know…maybe it's lame."

"No, I think it's pretty creative." He looked at the pictures that dotted the hallway. "The lighthouses are nice. Are those waterfalls? Where did you take these?"

"The first time Grant took me home to meet his family in Marquette he knew it would be stressful for me because I never had to do the family thing before. He arranged few days where it was just us and we traveled around and he showed me waterfalls, lighthouses, secluded little beaches, hiking trails-all kinds of stuff I didn't know Michigan had. It's beautiful there. We're going up in a few weeks for Jude's birthday."

"I be almost three," the boy stated proudly. "I big."

Angela ran her hand across her son's head. "Yeah, you're getting to be a big boy. Okay, here we are."

Shawn followed them into the room and was immediately drawn to one wall in particular. "Wow. Where were these taken?"

"The ice caves in Iceland. We went there on our honeymoon," Angela explained. "We tried lying on the beach and having drinks with tiny umbrellas, but that only lasted for a few days before we decided we needed to do something else. We weren't lie on the beach and do nothing people, you know?"

He nodded, but he and Katy went to the beach on their honeymoon. It was her first time on a plane, her first time anywhere away from home really and he'd wanted to make it special for her. They even extended their trip they were enjoying it so much. They knew Cory and Topanga had things covered with Maya and it's not as if Topanga was going to fire Katy if she didn't come back from their honeymoon when they were supposed to. In hindsight it was clear they were nervous to go back home and have to integrate all of the pieces of their lives together so they delayed it as long as they could. It was much more fun playing husband and wife on a tropical island on your honeymoon than it was to do it in real life. Shawn knew that should have been a warning sign that the foundation they were trying to build was already on shaky ground. But he had been too blinded by the holes he thought Katy and Maya were filling in his life to see it.

"It's hands down the most peaceful place I've ever been to," Angela said, continuing to talk about the ice caved. "You're just so far removed from everything it doesn't even feel like you're on earth anymore."

He took a few steps closer to take a better look at one of the images. It was Angela and her husband, arms linked, looking at their surroundings with wonder. The night sky was vibrant around them in shades of greens and purples. "What is this?"

"We stepped out of the caves and that was what we saw, Aurora Borealis. Our guide caught the candid shot. We didn't have time to pose or prepare."

"Those are always the best shots."

"I agree, but it's nice to have the approval of a professional," she joked. "Come on, guys, let's give Shawn some privacy for a little while before dinner."

He glanced at the clock and saw it was only five o'clock. It felt so much later. The kids had kept him running ragged since they woke up from their naps. They treated him like a new toy instead of mom's friend.

"…and then you're going to take a bath. After that Zora is going to get her bedtime stories before she goes to sleep and then Jude gets his snack, stories, and goes to sleep." Angela found the kids handled the nightly routine better if she went over it and they knew what was coming.

"Then mama get stories and snack?"

She smiled at her son. He was such a little caretaker. "Yes, I will eat a snack and read a book before I go to bed, too."

"I pick you book."

"Okay. Now give Shawn his shirt back, please."

"Here go."

"Thank you, Jude."

"Zora, give Shawn his wallet, please."

"Mine!"

"It belongs to Shawn. He shared with you but now it's time to give it back."

"No!" She clutched it tighter to her chest. "Mine!"

"Zora Hattie, give it back. That is not yours'."

Was it appropriate to middle name a baby? Did it work? "It's okay, she can play with it for a few more-" He shut up when Angela shook her head.

"No, she won't learn if you give in. Zora, now."

"Thank you," he said, almost reluctant to take his wallet from the teary-eyed girl. She hadn't quite reached the tantrum stage, but she wasn't happy to be giving back her new favorite thing. He wasn't good with tears, no matter the age of the person crying. He would've rather bought a new wallet.

"Just come out whenever you're hungry. If you need a break from them Zora should be asleep by 7:30 and Jude goes down at 8:00."

"I don't know about three hours, but I might close my eyes for twenty minutes or so. It's been a long day, even before I ran into you."

"Um…thanks?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I just…sorry. I'm tired."

"That's okay. Just follow the sounds of chaos back to the kitchen when you're ready to eat."

He nodded. "Right. And thanks again for the room. You didn't have to-"

"Shawn, stop. We're still friends…sort of…and this is what friends do- they help each other out."

"I still appreciate it." He'd worry later about what she meant by her sort of friends comment.

Once he was alone Shawn sat at the foot of the bed. It felt very weird to be here, in Angela's home, as a guest. It was especially surreal surrounded by mementos of her life since they parted, and from what he could see it had been a life well lived. He felt like he skated through most days merely existing. While he was glad to see she's happy and successful- he always knew she would be- it hurt to know that it all happened for her without him.

"You need a nap," he muttered to himself, trying to shake off the negative thoughts, "a long nap." He kicked off his shoes and lay back against the pillows, praying for a dreamless sleep.

/

An annoying ringing invaded his subconscious and Shawn opened one eye and saw his cell phone lit up on the nightstand. Cory was calling. He checked the time and noted he'd slept for nearly an hour. It wasn't quite the long nap he was hoping for but it was better than nothing. "What, Cor?"

"Shawn?"

"Who else is going to be answering my phone?"

"You sound weird."

"I was sleeping."

"Sorry, I was just calling to see when you're getting home."

"Tomorrow afternoon," he answered, rubbing his eyes to shake off the residual fog from his nap. "I think I take off around four. Why?"

"Oh, that's probably too late for Sunday. Maybe Monday," Cory mumbled to himself before speaking up. "I was just thinking that you could come over for dinner and we can sit Maya and Riley down and explain to them again that even though you and Katy got a divorce-"

"No."

"But Shawn-"

"No, you can't do it like this. If Maya ever comes around and forgives me it's got to be on her terms. You can't force this stuff. She's hurt and pissed. Trying now will be pointless."

"Fine, but you're still coming over for dinner next week. Just because Riley and Maya are upset with you doesn't mean you can't come around. I'm not losing my best friend again, not over this."

Again. It was a small word but said so much. Shawn wondered what it said about him that Cory was afraid of it happening again. It just hammered home his biggest fear: he was a leaver, not a stayer. "We'll figure something out."

"Did you find a hotel room? I can't even imagine how much that cost."

"Actually it's free." Maybe that wasn't completely true. This trip was taking a lot out of him emotionally. He'd tally up the final cost when he got home.

"Really? Where are you staying that's free? And please don't say you're sleeping in your car again. Shawnie, that's not safe."

"I ran into Angela on the beach and she offered me her guest room for the night. She's nice enough not to charge me." Silence was on the other end of the phone. It went on so long he thought they got disconnected. "You still there?"

"You…you ran into Angela?"

"And her kids, yeah."

"I forgot she lives in San Diego now. Look, Shawn-"

"Why didn't you and Topanga tell me about her husband? Do you have any idea how dumb I looked when I asked where he was and then she had to tell me herself?"

"Shawn-"

"No, she cried, Cory! I hurt her and she cried. Why didn't you tell me?"

"We weren't sure how you'd take it. You and Katy were still wrapping up the divorce proceedings, Maya wanted to walk back the adoption, and we…I didn't want to upset you."

"Upset me?! Angela's husband is dead but you're worried about me?"

"You're my best friend, Shawnie. Who else was I supposed to worry about?"

"Angela and her kids would've been a nice start."

"We sent a card," he said in a feeble voice. Even in the moment Cory thought a card was inadequate, but it had been so long since they had talked to Angela. They didn't know what else to do. "How is she? She's got two boys, right?"

"No, a boy and a girl. Jude's two and a half and Zora is fourteen months."

"How are they doing?"

"Angela's amazing with them. She's a great mom. She makes sure they're okay."

"And how is she?"

"I don't know to be honest. She hasn't talked much about her husband. But when he has come up it's all she can do not to cry, so what do you think?"

"I'd guess she's not doing well."

"Will you answer one question for me?"

"What?"

"Why did you and Topanga stop talking to her? Was it just that your lives got busy with Riley or what?"

"Honest?"

"Of course."

"Part of it was being busy with life. But I guess on some level I always blamed her for you leaving after Riley was born."

"But she wasn't even there."

"Exactly. She left with her dad and then she dumped you over the phone. What kind of person does that?

Shawn almost defended Angela, almost told Cory about everything they talked about, but realized it wasn't any of his business. "It wasn't as one sided as you make it out to be."

"Still, if she had been home with you where she belonged you would've stayed. You and Angela would've gotten married and had your own babies. Our kids could've been best friends and grown up together. I wouldn't have missed out on years with my best friend and you wouldn't have felt alone. We would've been one big happy family."

"That's a lot of blame to lay on one person."

"You asked me to be honest, not rational."

It wasn't funny, but he laughed anyway. Was there a more perfect way to describe Cory but honest and irrational? "I'm going to go eat dinner now."

"With Angela and her kids?"

"No, she's making me sit on the floor with the dogs," he fired back sarcastically. "What do you think?"

"Be careful, Shawnie."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I know you and I know how you think when Angela's involved. I get that you're both single now, but-"

"The ink on my divorce papers is hardly dry and she's a grieving widow! She's still wearing her wedding rings for crying out loud. We're hardly prime candidates for The Love Connection."

"You noticed her rings?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"Just promise you'll be careful."

"Fine, if it makes you feel better, yeah, I'll be careful." He ended the call before Cory could fabricate another vague warning out of thin air. Still, he wasn't surprised when his phone rang about a minute later. He was curious, however, when the caller id informed him it was Topanga calling. "Hello?"

"How is Angela doing, for real?"

"How would you be doing if you were in her place?"

"I'd be a wreck," she admitted quietly. She and Angela had remained friends only in the social media sense of the word over the years. There was the occasional liked photo or a shared link to a song that brought them back to high school, but that was about it. There were so many times she'd wanted to reach out, but she never knew what to say. Too much time had passed to pick up where they left off.

"Yeah. Why did you two stop talking anyway? I get why Cory shut her out, but you?"

"I didn't shut her out, not on purpose. Between school, Cory, work, kids, life…I guess I just lost track. It's not like she called me either. Besides, you know in the battle of you versus anyone you're always going to come out the winner around here. It's never a contest."

So Topanga was engulfed by life and too exhausted to have the Shawn vs. Angela battle with Cory, meaning he won by default. "I'll see you next week. Cory wants me to come over for dinner some night and he's annoying when you tell him no."

"You're preaching to the choir. Will you tell Angela I think about her all the time and if she ever needs to talk-"

"That would be more effective coming from you, don't you think?" At the very least Shawn knew he gave her something to think about. "I'll see you next week."

"Yeah, see you next week."

/

"Jude, don't give the dogs your dinner. They have their own food in their bowls that they need to eat."

"But they like food from Jude."

"I know but if they get too much people food it can hurt their stomachs and make them sick."

"And then they throwed up?"

Angela wrinkled her nose and pushed away her barely touched dinner plate. "Yes, sure. We don't want that." She sipped her water. "Eat your food and then it's bath time."

"Wow, maybe Zora should eat in the bathtub. It would save you time."

She rolled her eyes at Shawn's joke, but pointed to the microwave. "There's a plate in there for you. Just hit reheat."

"I'm guessing it's spaghetti for dinner?" He pressed the appropriate buttons on the microwave. "Seriously, I've never seen another human being covered in that much food before. Wait…I take that back. Our first year in New York Topanga dragged us to some kind of chocolate festival and we lost track of Eric. I'm still foggy on how it happened, but there was a chocolate fountain involved."

"I don't need any more details. Eric plus a chocolate fountain is enough."

Shawn grabbed his plate and went to take a seat at the table, deciding at the last minute to sit closer to Angela and the kids this time. "We didn't bother taking him home, just brought him to the first aid station and had the fire department turn the hose- hey!" He looked down and there was a blob of elbow macaroni noodles covered in sauce on his shirt.

"What?" Angela looked around and spotted Jude with his arm up, another handful of food ready to be launched in Shawn's direction. "Jude, no, we do not throw food. Tell Shawn you're sorry." Instead of apologizing, her typically people pleasing son fired at his target. "Julius Kyle Sinclair, why did you do that?" He whispered at first, so she was unable to make out his words. "Talk louder so mama can hear you."

"Daddy's chair," he said, pointing at Shawn.

She cleared her throat and had to fight to keep the tears that instantly came to her eyes at bay. It hadn't occurred to her to pay attention to where Shawn was sitting. She didn't even know Jude considered that to be Grant's chair. Angela got up and walked around the table, crouching beside her son. "If something makes you feel bad you have to use your words to tell me, okay? You don't throw food at people even when they make you mad."

"I mess up?"

She nodded and quickly wiped the corners of her eyes. "Yes."

"Sorry, mama."

"That's okay," she said, kissing his cheek. "You have to tell Shawn sorry, too. It was not nice to throw your food at him."

"I sorry, Don."

He was about to correct him but realized that would be counterproductive. Besides, the sh- sounds were supposedly more difficult for kids. "That's okay, Jude. I forgive you. I'm sorry I sat in your daddy's chair."

"You get forgiveness."

"Thanks, buddy." He was about to sit in the same chair as earlier, but didn't want to assume. "Is it okay if I sit in this one?" Jude nodded. "Thank you." His plan was to eat dinner as quickly as possible and go to his room. He was fairly certain he couldn't get into any trouble sitting in there. That was his goal, to make it through until tomorrow afternoon with as little drama as possible.