Chapter 61

Alja watched the liquid in her IV drip slowly, holding on for dear life to her Arrow training. It was the last thing that kept her from breaking. And for once she was thankful for the hell of her childhood, the ability to function under the most severe stress. And function she did – barely. She had checked her psychic abilities. They all seemed to be working. So the infusion wasn't drugged. That was at least something. And the healer woman had all but thrown everyone out of her room. There had been soldiers and they had wanted to question her. But the fierce changeling woman had said she wasn't fit for it. She wished she weren't. But her mind had never been clearer.

Sascha Duncan had been there, too. But she hadn't asked anything. She had only told her she was safe here, if she was working with the rebellion. But she didn't feel safe. Not with the silver-haired predator who had almost killed her on sight. And not with Kaleb completely out of her reach. The changelings had replaced her clothing so she didn't even have his scent. She'd been in the Net, even dared far away from the location where her mind had relinked to see if he was ok. But she could only look at the brightness of his unconcealed cardinal star from afar, because all around him were small, barely visible trackers that were probably programmed to catch her again if she came any closer. And she knew it meant nothing that his star was still visible. His body could be beyond recovery. He could be dying right now and she wouldn't know before his bright light blinked out for good. She'd almost risked trying to slip past the trackers, but if Kaleb had thought she'd be safer with a pack of changelings, she should probably stay under the radar at all costs. So after she had camouflaged her mind on the psychic plane as well as on the physical plane, she had nothing more to do.

She couldn't even telepathically scan her surroundings. There were at least two more Psy minds out there, one of which had warned her not to use any psychic abilities, if she wanted to stay conscious. So she just lay there staring at the ceiling, worried sick about Kaleb, the last second of her fall and the ugly sound of bones breaking replaying endlessly in her mind. She knew there was even more horror in what had happened, but she wasn't ready to think about it yet. She couldn't break down in an unknown and dangerous environment.

Still she was trying to fight back her tears, when she heard someone enter her dark room. That someone was trying hard not to make a sound. Alja turned her eyes toward the entrance and saw the figure standing there leaning against the door frame. This was no one she'd seen before. The woman just stood there breathing hard, as if she'd done something physically challenging. Then she shakily moved closer. Her steps seemed insecure. So she was probably not a threat to Alja even in her weakened state. Not moving Alja squinted at her to get a clearer look at the intruder. She was barefoot and only wore a night gown. Her hair was cut very short and she seemed too thin. Another patient? Why did they let her in here?

Finally the woman entered the radius of Alja's natural shields. Alja scanned her mind at once. She was human. And she moved slowly as if she'd just learned how to do it. Alja didn't move at all but stayed prepared for physical attack, while the woman just stared at her wide eyed. A dozen different emotions crossed her face. She seemed to sway a little. Then she sat down on the bed, shaking even harder than when she'd walked.

"Who are you?" she finally asked.

Alja didn't know how to respond. She didn't have to. The woman went on before she could.

"They told me Sascha Duncan was the only known empath."

"Is she not?" What could a human patient who lived with changelings know about empaths?

"No. You're another, obviously. You're even a projector," she stated simply.

There was no denying her. Alja was simply too shocked. "How can you know that?"

"Because I can remember all of it now. I remembered bits and pieces after Sascha was with me. But her shields weren't similar enough. It took your waterfall shields. Projector shields. They were the key." She said it as if that should make perfect sense to Alja. It didn't. At all.

"You're human. You cannot see my shields." How did they have someone here who knew about her? No one did! Was it a trap?

"Another projector described them to me," the woman said calmly. She had stopped shaking and just looked at Alja with unveiled curiosity on her face.

"There are others like me? How can you know all this? No Psy even knows, much less a human." Alja blurted out the first questions on her mind, while she tried to figure out if it could all be a set-up by Ming LeBon. But no, a whole pack of changelings was definitely too much even for Ming's resources. And then there was Judd Lauren, who had been out of the Squad's reach for years. But had he been? Yes, Kaleb had trusted him. Her head started to spin with suspicions, so she barely heard the strange woman's next answer.

"There used to be others like you. But as I was given to understand the Net has changed since I first lived. Maybe they…" The woman seemed lost in thought for several minutes.

Alja stayed mute, having no clue how to deal with this turn of events.

"Oh, I'm sorry! You seem as clueless as I first was, when I woke up." The woman gently smiled now. "We should start at the beginning. I am Alice Eldridge. Does that mean something to you?"

Of course it did! Only Alja's Arrow control kept her head from snapping up at the name. She had learned about the scientist years ago in her quest of finding out more about her rare designation. For years she'd had the hope of getting her hands on the book Alice Eldridge had published on empathy. But she'd been disappointed, when Kaleb told her he had accessed it and it wouldn't help them finding out how she could heal the Net. Yes, and he had told her how he found the scientist, who had lived a hundred years ago, in a cryonic lab. So it could be true. It made even sense, Although she couldn't imagine for the life of her, why Kaleb chose to bring two women that were connected to him into a pack of changeling predators to – well what had he done it for? Protection? She'd only find out by talking to Alice. "Yes," she answered hesitantly. "But you don't know about projective empathy. There was close to nothing about it in your book."

"Of course not! They wouldn't let me publish even a fraction of what I researched." Suddenly there was a fiery glint in her eyes. Outrage – Alja realized, it was outrage at how her work had been treated. That brought Alja to another question. "But you're ready to share that research with me now?"

"Naturally, who else would I share it with?"

"You don't even know me."

"I don't have to. I had one of your kind lock my memory and program it to unlock only when another strong projector was close to me with those shields of yours. It was the only way to ensure my knowledge wouldn't be misused."

Alja doubted all of this entirely, but there was also a stubborn spark of hope, that by some curious accident she had found the one person who might help her with her projection. "But how do you know you can trust me?"

"Because of what you are. You are part of what I believe to be the solution to the mental problems of the Psy race. Your kind has always been. They just forgot."

"That doesn't explain much to me. I'm beginning to think I know a lot less about 'my kind' than you."

"Ah, yes! Of course you wouldn't. It is a wonder you still exist after all they told me about the Net as it is now. In fact I wonder why Silence worked at all with your designation still around. I feared they would try to solve that permanently."

Again Alice seemed to be carried away by her own fast mind. But that last thing at least was something Alja knew about. "They did. I'm the only one left. And I think I was more like a freak accident. Half of my genes haven't been in an individual inside the Net since Silence was imposed on us."

"That is bad. It will be a lot of work for one projector alone. But maybe the other empaths can learn to compensate. The different subdesignations can develop the skills of others to a certain extent. There is a big overlap between the abilities after all. I suppose that's why I remembered some things, when Sascha was here. It might still be possible to readjust..."

Alja tried her best to keep up with the ramblings of the scientist, but she just couldn't. "Wait, please! I really don't understand any of this," she interrupted her.

"Oh yes of course. It's just so good to be able to access my entire mind again. We can start with what you know," she agreed at once.

"Thank you. But before you go on: Are you sure, you should be in here? No one here seems to trust me. How have you even been allowed into my room?"

"I heard them talk about you. They think you're dangerous. But that's because they don't know what you are, isn't it? But don't worry. I'm still a free person as far as I know. I can go wherever and talk to whomever I like." Alice even seemed to like the fact that she probably did something the other people around here wouldn't appreciate. Alja started to like her. "And they don't have a guard in front of your door. Lara wouldn't have the soldiers inside her infirmary so they're all stationed outside. That other Psy, Walker, is the only one allowed in and he's in the office with Lara right now."

Walker, so that was the one who monitored her psychically. Of course they'd know that was all that was necessary to keep her contained right now. When she had tried to move earlier she had learned quickly that she couldn't even sit up. The pain in her left shoulder and inside her chest was crippling. Even breathing too deep hurt. So she'd take what she got. And Alice Eldridge sitting on her bed ready to share her knowledge about empathy was by far more than she could have expected. "Alright then. How about we find some common ground first? What do you know about Silence and the Net today?"

"I have already learned that the attempt of the enhanced Mercury Protocol, Silence as you call it, has been successful but it's failing now. And it has never worked for you, has it?"

"No it hasn't. But in return my powers don't seem to work in the Net either although I should be able to project through the whole Net."

"Oh. That's a little different from my field of research. I'm afraid I can tell you nothing about the Net under Silence, except that it would be harmed by that Protocol. But you found that out the hard way already. My research focused more on the skills of empaths before Silence."

"Anything you can tell me might help. I know close to nothing about my designation. Except that the Net can't function properly without it."

"Then I'll start with the basics. empaths are healers of the soul. They can read and influence emotions like a telepath can do with thoughts," she began.

"Ok up until there I'm still with you. But how would that solve our mental problems? The rates were spinning out of proportions long before Silence. If the empaths could've prevented that, they would have, wouldn't they?" Alja tried to remember what she'd learned about Silence. But in the Net it was hard to distinguish Council lies from scientific truth. Their propaganda during the last weeks had shown that.

"When I began my research a lot of the old knowledge was already sinking into oblivion. I was trying to recover it. But sadly I ran out of time."

Just like Alja did now. "Then tell me how did it work?"

"Empaths could dampen negative emotions, take them out of someone who suffered, for example after a trauma. They could modulate feelings of fear and sadness but also anger. But that's not all. Especially the projectors could also heal those who didn't feel at all."

"Sociopaths?" She should be able to cure butchers like Santano Enrique? "That's impossible."

"No it's just very hard. Imagine what you could achieve if you make someone feel regularly with projection. For example guilt for hurting people and compassion for other creatures in general."

"I could teach them to feel?"

"Exactly."

At that moment Alja's world began to shake. Everything she had ever been taught about her people, about the untamable monsters inside them, seemed to dissolve. And everything she'd ever hoped for became logical, became true. Had it all been a waste? A hundred years of fighting emotion. A whole life of fighting her own feelings? "If what you say is true, then there never was a need for Silence in the first place. We had all the solutions. We had a cure. How did we forget?"

"I think the Psy forgot a lot of it over a long time span before Silence. Maybe it was the technical advancement. Look how into computers and tech we are – the Psy more than any other race; although you have the Net to save and process data. The Psy were so sure they could do everything better with technology than with what nature provided. Maybe modern medicine and psychiatry gave the Psy such hope, it let them forget that they once had abilities to heal the soul as well."

"But you know those ways?" Hope and desperation were fighting hard inside Alja. Maybe there was something that could help her people after all if she failed.

"I think I reconstructed enough to stabilize the Net in my time. Today I'm not so sure if it will suffice."

Before Alja could respond, the door to her room burst open and the lights flashed on. "What did you do to her?"

Pale green eyes focused on Alja. They belonged to the tall man who had run into the room and was now pulling Alice away from her bed. She didn't physically react to it, her body still too weak and too slow. Her mind on the other hand reacted fast. "She did nothing to me, Walker, let me go!" she retorted at once. "I came here by myself, because I was curious."

Alja herself couldn't answer right away. When the door had burst open she had automatically tensed up to react to a threat, like she was trained to do, resulting in a sickening pain behind her left upper ribs. And for a moment it was hard to catch her breath again. She hated to be so weak. It was what she had tried to avoid all her life. And now it turned right back into an even worse nightmare than it had been before Alice had come to her.

"Lara you need to sedate her again until I make sure Alice is ok," he told the healer who had entered on his heels.

"No!" Alice and Alja said at the same time. Only Alja's voice broke off again, while Alice's was getting firmer by the minute. "They really don't trust you at all!" she declared a little surprised. When she was pulled further away and Lara went for Alja's IV, she struggled to free herself from Walkers grip shouting angrily at him. "Dammit she's not dangerous. She's your last fucking chance of survival."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is. Relax now Alice! We're only trying to help you." Walker answered her as if he was speaking with a retarded child. It only enraged the scientist more.

"She didn't manipulate or program me. Scan my mind, if you think it's necessary. But don't hurt her. It wasn't her fault!" Alice had managed to step in front of Walker so he had to look into her eyes rather than focus on Lara who was ready to inject something out of a syringe into Alja's IV.

"Wait!" he said. He wouldn't hurt the Arrow if it wasn't absolutely necessary. He had trained some of them back in the Net. But that was also why he knew how dangerous they could be. "With what Judd told us there's a possibility she's telling the truth." To Alja's relief Lara lowered her arm at once. Towards Alice he added: "You would allow me to scan your mind?"

"If you don't believe me otherwise, yes. And well, I would prefer to have Sascha do it, if she's still here. I have to talk to her anyway. I can remember everything now."

"That sounds like a trap to me," Lara remarked turning to look at Walker. "You're the stronger telepath."

"Alright then you do it." Alice actually seemed annoyed but not scared to allow a Psy into her mind. Of course, she had lived in a time where humans were wary but not as outright frightened of Psy as today.

It took Walker only a minute before he said. "There are no signs of telepathic intrusion."

"Good can we all sit down and talk like civilized people now?"

Alja was so relieved she almost smiled at Alice's snarky remark. But she managed to keep up the cool façade, waiting carefully for the next critical situation. She couldn't let down her guard yet. She couldn't trust any of them.