Chapter 65

Hawke breathed in the cool evening air, let the gentle breeze whip through his fur. He had agreed to let the cats handle the situation with Alja today since they had the closer ties to the Forgotten, who might be able to shed new light on the process of bringing emotion back to the PsyNet. He was running patrol in wolf form in the outer perimeter instead, securing their territory stayed unbreached. It was just what he needed now. And he was damn glad for the distraction from the tension at the safe house close to the border to the cat's lands. Yeah, it was a true relief that he could share that mess with the cats. Just when he thought his head was beginning to clear for good, his changeling hearing picked up someone stomping through the woods close by. The footsteps were clearly human, their creator either unable to muffle them in the slightest or he didn't care if he was heard. He sneaked closer to the noise – to see one of his worst nightmares taking form.

He retreated silently and tracked down the other guards in the sector. Indigo. Drew. Riaz. Two lieutenants and the pack's tracker. Good. They wouldn't act stupid. And Riley was back at the safe house. Also good. He could take over the pack if this turned to shit. When he reached the soldiers he only shifted for a few seconds telling each one the same: "Stay in wolf form and leave the animal in charge." That way their minds couldn't be picked up by telepathy. "But whatever happens. Don't try to intervene!" He infused every word with the dominance of the alpha he was. "If the situation gets out of control, get back to the den and evacuate."

After that he sent silent a caress down the mating bond. He didn't dare to do more. Man, Sienna would be pissed, if he got himself killed. It was a bitter thought. But this was his responsibility. So he stepped out of the shadows to greet the man who kept causing so much noise, it was clear he wanted to be heard, and walked into something that might has well been a concrete wall. Strong Tk shields – just as he'd expected.

The man didn't waste time on pleasantries. "Where is she?" Hawke was surprised for a moment when he heard the brutal edge in the man's voice. That was not how Psy usually talked.

He knew he had to try to handle this on his own. But damn couldn't Judd have told him more about the whole fucked up situation? Keep her alive, he'd had said, for the sake of your mate's race. "We have to talk about this. You might be a threat to her." The next moment his back slammed against a tree trunk, invisible fingers closing ruthlessly around his throat.

"I'm not here to talk. Take me to her at once or I'll start ripping apart the mountainside until I find your den."

"You might hurt her in the process," Hawke forced out through his constricted larynx. He also realized he still wasn't dead. So the other man needed him to find her. He wouldn't risk hurting her after all. He had to play this right. For Sienna. For the pack. For the Psy who had helped them.

"I would never hurt her." It was a growl "Now. Where. Is. She?" With every word the grip around Hawke's throat tightened. Stars began to dance before his eyes. "Tell me now, or the blonde wolf will never see her mate alive again."

Keep her alive … But the price was probably becoming too high.

"Why are they all leaving?" Alja asked the two wolves that had arrived at the house suddenly, steaming with far more than the usual tension. The house and the area around it had been buzzing with changeling minds and emotions that were hard to ignore, even when she didn't scan for them. Now they were all increasing distance, even the healer. Those two were the only ones that stayed. One was a woman, long legged, graceful, her hair a sweep of black down her back. The other was a man, not as bulky as the others but still exuding a raw physicality that made Alja almost as uneasy as his eyes that kept changing from blue to copper and back all the time. Both were clearly soldiers and their stance told her they were at war.

"Because you have a visitor," the male forced out through gritted teeth. He looked positively feral.

Seconds later Kaleb stepped into the room, followed by the wolves' alpha.

His presence hit her like an electric shock, everything else blacked out for a moment. Then she really saw him – and wondered, if she'd have recognized him, if she hadn't been focused on nothing else for the last two days. And it wasn't because of any injuries. His face was miraculously bruise free, but it had taken her a moment to realize that he was shirtless. His torso seemed to be a single violently blackened bruise that should have made it impossible for him to even walk upright. But that wasn't the most striking change about him. It was his gaze. It was savage, brutal, not a trace left of the sophistication of his usual mask. And with the physical mask the psychic had gone as well. Power seemed to sizzle all around him in a dark storm that promised danger and destruction. But not for her. When his gaze met hers it became clearer, the violence vanishing. And those eyes that had once been so remote – it seemed a lifetime ago now – they were now focused on her as if she was the only thing that existed. She felt the pressure of that focus with her empathy too. She couldn't speak. Too much crashed in on her. She had held up this long. But now she felt her composure crack under the pressure.

He came towards her bed but stopped for a moment outside her shield radius. It was as if the whole scene froze in place for a second. Everything seemed to slow down.

"I thought I had given clear orders," Hawke barked at the two soldiers, obviously furious.

The response from the woman was equally infused with emotion but hers was filled with a stubborn, angry loyalty. "Not happening. Riaz got back to the den. We're not going to leave our alpha." Her hand interlinked with that of the male soldier, who immediately stepped close enough so their bodies touched.

An actual growl ripped from the alpha's throat. It made Alja snap back to functioning temporarily. Why did Kaleb hold his distance? She realized she couldn't be sure what they really knew about him. She mustn't break in front of them. She had to protect whatever was left of his secrets. So she chose the careful approach. "Councilor, I didn't expect you to come in person."

That moment Kaleb's face finally relaxed to crushing tenderness. "It's alright Alja. They know." His voice was rough but completely gentle as if a wrong tone could damage her. And he finally reached out with his arm into her shield radius. She felt him push at her shields with some use of Tk. It was natural to allow it at once. Only then he stepped fully inside her shields. Close enough to touch.

And she broke. Completely.

She could feel herself simply fall apart in a way she hadn't done during training, not after her missions, not even as a fear-drenched four year old under Ming's torture. It was as if someone had turned a switch in her. Tears welled up and spilled so fast she didn't even have to blink. Her whole body started shaking with the panic, desperation and finally relief she'd held down since she'd regained consciousness. "You're alive!" Only when the words were out did she start to believe it.

"It's alright," Kaleb repeated. "I will make it alright." He bent down to her bed, one hand coming to rest gently around her waist, the other closing around her nape as he touched his forehead to hers.

"Kaleb, …" It came out a sob. She wanted to say so much had to talk to him so badly, but all that came out was his name: "Kaleb, …" and then "You're alive!" again and again as if she had to repeat it to make it real.

Kaleb hadn't thought a clear thought from the moment he'd woken the second time. Even now everything seemed drowned out by that choking emotion that threatened to eat him up from inside only letting him react on impulse after impulse directing him toward one single goal: Getting to Alja. But now that he'd found her, slipped inside the soothing waterfall of her shields, he felt something else, but this feeling didn't come from inside. It came from her. Her projection was slipping out. He knew they were her emotions, because they were laced with defeat and guilt. His own feelings were of a much darker, more aggressive brand. He was still barely able to contain them. But he could feel her desperation now too and it fucking broke him. He had to make her ok again. He had to, no matter the cost.

He is alive. Slowly the knowledge began to sink in as Alja felt him touch her skin. His thumb brushed over the side of her neck, his hand caressed her side so lightly she felt more heat than touch. The sheer gentleness of the touch seeped into her skin, slowly warming her up from inside until the fledgling recovery was broken by Hawke's growl.

"You got what you wanted. Now give us Judd."

Kaleb didn't move an inch but Alja could see a body appearing on the floor beside her bed out of the corner of her eye. She straightened as far as her injuries would allow and turned her head. Judd Lauren's body lay lifeless on the floor. Horror uncurled with icy spikes inside her. "What have you done?" The shock didn't allow her more than to whisper.

Beside her the female wolf dropped down to her knees and put her hand on Judd's neck. She nodded just as Kaleb answered her.

"I didn't do anything. He's just flamed out. Otherwise he is unscathed."

"Which might not have stayed that way, if we hadn't brought him" Hawke focused his gaze on Kaleb, unveiled bloodlust in his gaze. "to you fast enough." Then the alpha suddenly looked at her as if she was responsible for all of this. And the feeling that she probably was started creeping up her spine like a snake. A cold, insidious reminder of what she'd become.

"What…?" Before Alja could finish another question she felt Kaleb push for a teleport. She didn't flex her shields this time.

"He threatened Judd's life and that of practically every inhabitant of ..."

"Stop talking!" Kaleb snapped at Hawke, his voice a frighteningly good imitation of the changeling's earlier growl. He couldn't let the wolf upset Alja even more. Turning towards her his tone became softer but he still sounded strained, barely in control. "We need to leave now, Alja. We have outlived our welcome here." He had to get her out of here before he lost his mind completely. And those stupid animals didn't help with their open aggression. The only thing that kept him from killing them right now, was a strange sense of wrongness in regard to it that he felt somehow from Alja. But this wasn't projection. It was something else.

"You can bet you have," Hawke heard himself mumble. He bit back the other words he wanted to scream at the bastard: Now get the fuck off my land and never set foot on it again! It wouldn't help. Not now. And he hated that.

With a last glance at the changelings, who were all but killing them with their eyes, Alja finally allowed Kaleb to initiate the teleport.