To Paula Paterson Mcclendon: You'll probably like this chapter more. And Bear in mind while I think your solution is a bit drastic ("Jarrod should leave and never come back!") I do agree he's taking it a bit on the chin here. It's easy to say Jarrod screwed up on buying the bull, but the honest fact is that once the ranch was committed to adding the bull and it was a done deal, It was Nick's responsiblity to go to the auction and make certain they got a good one. But right now Nick is so unhappy and disengaged that he's paying more attention to his pet rats than he is to taking care of the ranch. There is blame on both sides here. unfortunately Jarrod's is just the more visable one.
BVBVBVBVBVBVBVBVBVBVBV
"Jarrod Barkley!"
Jarrod turn at the sound of his name being called in the halls of the San Francisco courthouse and scowled upon seeing Major Macklin walking in his direction. He had forgotten that the Courthouse was right next to Federal Offices and many a meeting between federal prosecutor and defending attorneys occurred in these halls. It was in these halls that Jarrod had first been approached by Macklin for the troublesome and in retrospect, utterly regrettable mock court martial against General Alderson that had sent Nick into a downward spiral. Jarrod was not pleased to see Macklin.
"Major." Jarrod said stiffly.
"Sorry to bother you. We are tying up a few loose threads and wondered if you could drop by our office this afternoon.
"I expect to be in court all day. "
"Tomorrow then?"
"I have meetings scheduled with my clients. I'm afraid."
"Day after, then."
"I believe I'm going to be tied up in a case."
Macklin stared at him.
"Mr Barkley, this is a federal case."
"I am well aware of what kind of case it is, Major, considering the toll it's taken on my family."
"Then you're aware it's not going away." Macklin said bluntly.
"Major, I have co-operated beyond all reasonable expectation. I fail to see why the Government is continually requiring another deposition, statement or just plain handholding over a case where the accused provided a full confession and, for that matter, is dead. Surely at some point your lawyers can take over the case."
"Well at the moment they happen to believe they need your input and if you don't wish to co-operate we will issue a subpoena."
Jarrod gritted his teeth. This was the problem with governments, he thought inwardly. He was all in favor of doing his patriotic and civic duty, but at some point he expected the government to, if not reward his assistance, at least acknowledge it and let him return to his normal life. Instead it was as if he had stepped into some smelly tarlike substance that was creeping over his shoe and up his leg.
"I can meet you after court today." He finally said grudgingly. Best get this over with.
"Until then, Mr. Barkley."
BVBVBVBVBVBVBVBVBV
Jarrod reviewed the document he was signing carefully, making certain the statement was true and correct. Ever since he graduated from law school, he was astonished by how many attorneys would take care to examine their clients' legal forms down to the last word but casually scribbled their signature on their own personal paperwork with dire results. He had finally decided it must be simple arrogance and firmly resolved to never take the approach that he was so smart that he didn't need to take nothing for granted. He had a feeling though, that he'd done something similar with Alderson's trial, casually taken it for granted that it would go smoothly only to have everything go wrong. It was unreasonable of him to blame Macklin, he knew. It had been his decision to go through with it, and it was his responsibility to deal with the results. He blamed him anyway and he was ashamed and angry.
"Is that it?" He demanded of the major.
Macklin looked at him coolly.
"Mr Barkley, I get the impression you're upset about something."
Jarrod gave the Major a hard look.
"It should have been called off. The moment Nick showed up it should have been called off."
Macklin shook his head. "We couldn't do that. If we'd done that then Alderson would have realized we were onto him and we never would have gotten the information we needed."
"That doesn't matter." Jarrod snapped.
"Yes, it does. We had to get this information, and you know it. That's why you let it continue. You knew how important this was."
"Well I was wrong!" Jarrod flared. He sagged in his chair, exhausted. "I should have stopped it. At the very least I should have told Nick what was happening. Maybe he would have agreed to go along." Macklin disagreed. "No, I don't think he would have. I think he would have seen it as a betrayal of his commander, and possibly a betrayal of family. I think your family, as a whole and Nick in particular, sees the world in terms of circles of loyalty that works its way out. Loyalty to the family, then to their friends, then to the valley. The fact is, and you KNOW this, looking at the world in terms of 'family first' is a luxury; sometimes an expensive one. You understand that; I'm not sure the rest of your family does."
Jarrod turned angrily. "I don't appreciate-"
"I'm not insulting your brothers," Macklin interrupted quietly. "Or your family. They are fine, upstanding people. If there were more people like them the world would be a better place. But the world is not just black and white. There are shades of gray; times when you have to risk doing the wrong thing to do the right one, times when you have to make a choice about what you are going to do even though there are no clear guidelines. What happened with General Alderson was one of them. The man helped assassinate a president. He massacred a town to cover his tracks. A man who would do that is capable of anything. God knows what else he may have done to this country if he had been able to stay concealed. You prevented him from doing that."
Jarrod felt his anger drain away, pain in it's wake.
"I hurt my brother." He said dully. "I hurt him so badly that he may never be the same. I hurt him so badly that..." there was a choking pain in his throat and he fought past it. "I don't know if he still sees me as his brother." He closed his eyes, picturing a laughing, dark haired boy hanging upside down in a tree, absolute trust shining in his face. "We were so close when we were boys. I think I'd give anything to be close to him again, even for a moment." He shouldn't be telling Macklin this, he thought; then tiredly decided he didn't care.
Macklin shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe you will be." He offered, awkwardly. "Maybe if you explain, if you can make him understand-"
"It's not something you explain Macklin." Jarrod interrupted, feeling more tired than angry. "It's not a matter of intellectual debate, it's an emotion. It's how he sees the world. I can't argue him into understanding, he has to do it on his own. I don't know if he can."
"Maybe he'll surprise you." Macklin suggested. "Do you know why I handed you those notes that night, and walked away without arresting your brother?" Jarrod smiled feebly. "You were dazzled by my argument?"
Macklin snorted with laughter, "Ummm..No."
"You thought he did the right thing?"
"Not entirely." A slow shake of the head. "I'm still not 100% sure he did."
"You felt he had saved lives that night? Or you were just tired of the case?"
"That was part of it." Macklin admitted. "The other part was...for probably the first, maybe the only time in his life, he saw things in shades of gray. The people he should be loyal to were killing innocents. The comrades he was loyal to, and would fight with and die for, were looting a town and murdering civilians." 'His whole world was inside out, and he was alone and at a terrible moment in his life. He didn't have family there; he didn't have a commander to tell him what to do. All he had was himself, and an insane situation and a place where all the black and whites blurred into gray. And in that fog of gray he made a choice. Maybe it was the wrong decision, maybe it was the right one. But I don't think that's something that a court room could sort out."
Jarrod was silent for a moment. "Your point being?"
"He understood that night that some decisions are good and bad, that they might be right and wrong all at the same time. Maybe someday he'll understand it again."