Chapter 81

Faith felt dizzy and vulnerable, almost naked without her Psy abilities. But in the end there hadn't been another way. Ashaya had had to give her something that numbed her Foresight, so she wouldn't be tortured by her visions anymore. It had taken a long time for her to agree, because she had hoped until the end that there might be some solution, anything that they might hold on to, any indication that the fate of the Net she'd seen again and again in excruciating detail, could be prevented. She had even actively looked for it until she'd lost consciousness from the pain and terror it caused her. When she'd woken up she'd had dried blood under her eyes, nose and ears and a mate that was going crazy with worry. That was when she'd finally taken the M-Psy's offer to give her the drug that cut down on her ability to see the future. Since that was her cardinal ability the dose had to be so high it totally wiped her other mental skills as well. But still sometimes a vague knowing of death and terror pushed through, reminding her that it had been the right decision. That didn't change the fact that she felt useless now, sometimes even like a traitor to her people.

Right now she was trying to concentrate on the meeting with SnowDancer. She still tried to do her best to be useful although she was losing hope for her race. She and Vaughn had met her father earlier to get reliable information on the Situation in the Psy-Net and the state of the war. What he'd told them hadn't been comforting: Within a few weeks the increased traffic toward the sectors that no longer executed rehabilitation, had turned into a steady stream of refugees that had soon surpassed the capacities of the local tourism infra structure. To their advantage most of the refugees were still so used to the Psy lifestyle that suppressed almost every need in the name of efficiency. They didn't mind close and crowded quarters or rationed food. The San Francisco based Councilors had set up remote camps, from where they organized the integration into the sector. And the Psy had a new reason to be efficient. So the people at the camps had even started to self-organize in various ways, many of them preparing for physical fights. Most of them were still mainly Silent after all. Only the children started to adapt to emotion after being taken out of Protocol training. Anthony had even shown them video sequences of Psy children playing between rows of tents: Children playing ball without ever touching it or suddenly giggling after only exchanging a few looks. Children playing a funny kind of hide and seek where the seeker just stayed in place calling out the hiding places of his friends.

In Kaleb's sector however it wasn't that peaceful. Ming had tried to close his borders, that hadn't been physically existent a few months ago. And finally, forced to choose between rehabilitation and the threat of death, people had begun to fight. The scenes her father had shown them were horrifying: None of them had ever seen a Psy war. Now it became evident, that the pictures of the physical fights weren't the worst. They all were to some degree used to the depiction of war. It were the silent fights that were the most gruesome. A shaky camera had taken a short sequence of streets full of civilians who dropped to the floor out of nothing, clutching their heads, blood leaking from their ears and noses. Then there was a sequence of soldiers standing on the defense lines calmly and then suddenly turning on each other and the population they were trying to protect. And then there were the incidences of which no picture would ever be taken: Psy vanishing without a trace, strange accidents of cars, trains and all sorts of vehicles on their way towards borders. It was as if the simple thought of leaving Ming's sector made Psy more prone to accidents or sudden mental breakdown. No, not as if, because that was exactly what it was.

The war had started to demand its first victims. And their numbers rose quickly.

"I'm glad you're out of the Net." Her father had said to her at the end of the meeting. "Not all of us are going to make it."

"I know father," she had replied simply. Then she had hugged him, and for the first time in her life, he had hugged her back. Complete and utter desperation, that was what it had taken for them to shed their lifelong appearance of indifference. Tears welled up in her eyes at those thoughts. Her father had always tried to let her know she mattered, but in a Silent way. And now this one embrace would probably stay the only.

"Faith, are you ok?" Sascha's soft voice broke into her thoughts. "Do you want to continue tomorrow?" The empath had sensed her distress and distraction.

But before she could answer, Vaughn did it for her. "Seriously Sascha, don't you think she'd be here, if there was any way to convince her to take a break. She has to see this through, see if there's anything we can do."

Faith was thankful her mate understood. She knew he was on the edge for weeks now and he'd drag her home and lock her up in his lair at the slightest sign it might help her. But it wouldn't. So he stayed by her side and let her sit and talk and think about possible solutions with anyone she chose. "I want to know about Kaleb. He is the key to all of this." She finally found her voice, addressing the SnowDancers, represented by Hawke, Sienna, Judd and a very unsettled Brenna who'd been rarely present to those meetings but seemed to refuse to let her mate out of her sight. "Are there any news?" She only hoped she could concentrate long enough to hear what they had to tell.

"I'm sorry Faith. He won't make it and he knows it." Judd's voice was calm but he really sounded as sorry as he claimed to be. It was rare for the former assassin to show this much emotion.

"You talked to him? What makes you so sure?" She wanted to know, seeming clearheaded for the first time during the meeting.

Judd glanced at his niece for a moment. Sienna displayed the appearance of a perfect soldier. It stung him a little that she could still do it like a true Psy. But she would have to be a Psy-soldier again, hopefully for the last time. "He asked for Sienna to take him down the moment he snaps."

Complete silence in the room.

"He gave me a permanent lock on his physical body. I'll teleport us to him and she'll do it, whenever it becomes obvious, he is beyond redemption," Judd elaborated coolly.

Hawke kept his silence, tensed up from head to toes as Judd related the inevitable. And Judd knew exactly how he felt. Had there been any other solution, he wouldn't have relied on Sienna himself. But there wasn't and they all knew it. As a cardinal X-Psy, her lethal cold fire was the only thing that could stop a man of Kaleb's powers. Of course Brenna had a field day reminding Hawke of his own words, about sending his mate into a volatile situation. It would have been funny, had the situation not been so grave.

"But what about the Net? I thought the whole point of not finishing off any Councilors was that the Net won't survive the death of any of them?" Lucas asked after his first surprise at the suggestion had ebbed away.

"As I said," Judd replied. "We will do it only if there's no other way."

"When my vision comes true," Faith whispered.

"Yes. Kaleb is going to meet with Anthony and Nikita soon to discuss ways to stabilize at least parts of the Net."

Again moments of silence lay heavy in the air.

"Ah shit! They don't deserve this!" Lucas muttered frustrated. Sure, Psy were generally considered a scourge of mankind by the other races. But the annihilation of their species? That was something else. "Maybe some of them do, but most of them are just trying to get by. And they are trying to change."

No one objected. Every changeling in the room was happily mated to a Psy. Just as Hawke had found out some time ago, their world was no longer black and white. Even the Ghost whatever his motivations, had helped them time and time again.

Sascha even started to shake her head and murmur in disbelief. "It's not right. Alja should have helped them. We were so close to a solution when she spoke with Katya and Dev..."

"But she's gone. That option is no longer existent." Lucas tried to reason with his mate. He sent a silent caress along the mating bond, knowing how his gentle mate hurt at the idea of being unable to help.

"No!" she retorted suddenly. "What if there is a way to bring her back after all? I remembered something she said to Katya about the damage of Ming's construction in her mind being worse than rehabilitation."

Everyone understood at once, where this was leading. But no one said a word. This time no one wanted to be the one to take such a risk.

So it was the most gentle of them who had to suggest a path that they all might regret. "What if the children could bring her back?" Sascha was talking about Noor and Keenan. The Forgotten girl and the Psy boy who had healed Katya with their unique tandem ability, after Ming's contraption had ripped through her brain so bad everyone had thought her beyond recovery.

"You heard how he threatened us, didn't you?" Hawke countered the empath's suggestion. "I totally agree that we can't be hypocrites about helping them. But you have to consider carefully, whether you let him close to your pack."

"I know. But he wouldn't have to come close. Just her. And we have some kind of control now that he's given Judd the option to take him out." Sascha replied calmly. "I know, what I'm suggesting. And I wouldn't ask it of them. The decision should be between Ashaya and Dorian and Talin and Clay." She named the pack members who had virtually become the parents of the children in question. "No one will bear them any ill will, if they refuse."