CHAPTER 6 – Kosher Pickle

Author's Note: The events of this chapter take further liberties with the sequence and nature of events in Emotion Sickness, not to mention the outcome. Apologies to anyone offended by the deviation from canon. The chapter focuses on Ron and Kim. Drakken and Shego will return in the next chapter.

Middleton High – Same morning

The lunch bell interrupted Ron Stoppable's near-comatose state as he watched Tara and his other classmates flee Mr. Barkin's German lesson as fast as their feet would take them. With some trepidation he turned to face the remaining member of the class, the one whose actions had precipitated his frozen brain.

Ron looked at the predatory gleam in his best friend's eye and gulped. He could think of a dozen reasons why Kim was behaving the way she was, but none of them ended up well for him. Several of them involved mistaken identity. Was he suddenly starting to morph into Josh Mankey? Was Kim looking at someone behind him - conveniently ignoring the fact that he sat on the rear row? Or did he look like Nicky Nick in profile and Kim got confused?

Or maybe this was some dare that Kim needed to complete in order to secure her place in the food chain? Or the cheerleaders had decided that all captains had to gross out the Mad Dogs mascot to prove themselves? Or maybe a test by Global Justice of how tight their friendship was? No, Kim would never allow herself to do any of those, would she?

But perhaps he was completely misinterpreting the note she had thrown his way. Perhaps the pink hearts and initials were some sort of cryptic reference to Rufus and him, and Kim was expecting him to decipher the note. If that were the case, she was going to be ferociously tweaked when he confessed to having not the slightest idea of the significance of the message.

The one explanation that he pushed back down as soon as it flitted through his consciousness was that Kim actually like-liked him. Awkwierd!

He risked another look at his friend and wished he hadn't. Kim was walking towards him with a determined expression on her face. He took an involuntary step back, which prompted the girl to tilt her head and pout.

"Ah, Wonnie, where are you gowing?" As her eyes widened, Ron screwed his eyes shut to fend off the awesome power of the PDP. Kim smiled conspiratorially and reached out to run her fingers through her best friend's hair, the pout turning into a dreamy but hungry look. Oh wow, Ron's hair is so soft and floppy. I never realized how great stroking it would feel.

At Kim's touch, Ron's eyes shot open.

"K…Kim, what are you doing?" the boy stammered, pushing her away. Kim's expression changed yet again, this time to a beaming smile. Somehow that was freaking him out even more.

"Ah, you're just shy aren't you, Ronnie," she giggled. She leaned in toward him. Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket and gave an audible "eep" as he saw the girl's lips moving toward his human's.

"Oh, man," Ron muttered as he turned and fled the classroom. He had just thought of another explanation for Kim's behavior.

Kim has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a robot clone thingy!

ooOooOoo

The blond boy looked back nervously over his shoulders as the sound of pursuing footsteps faded. Seeing no-one he slowed to a walk as he headed for the dining room, where he intended to gather up his courage and speak to Tara.

He was still having trouble processing the idea that the pretty cheerleader could possibly be interested in him. But Monique had been quite definite the previous night.

He had returned home floating on air. His mother looked at him oddly as he sailed through the door with a huge grin on his face. "Good day at school, Ronnie?" she asked puzzled.

"Oh yeah, Mum, today turned out to be the most bon-diggity day since Bueno Nacho introduced the double-size naco."

"That good, eh," Jean smiled.

"Yup. But now I've got to do my homework." And the boy gave his mother a kiss on the cheek before racing up the stairs.

Jean looked up at her son's retreating back. As she heard his door slam shut, she hugged herself.

Ron doing his homework without a fuss? I wonder who the lucky girl is?

"Oh, Ronneee. Kissy-face time," Ron jumped as the familiar voice came from in front of him. He looked up in fear, watching the girl as she walked toward him. Again he fled, but this time in the opposite direction to the dining room.

Kim looked tweaked at his reluctance. Men! She decided to play clever, and make for the dining hall. Ron was bound to end up there sooner or later.

ooOooOoo

Racing around a corner in the corridor, Ron almost bumped into Felix Renton emerging from the science lab.

"Hi, Ron Man," the blond's best male friend responded. "What's the big rush?" He looked in surprise as Ron ran behind the wheel-chair and ducked down. "Hiding from the bullies in D Hall?" Felix whispered behind him.

"No, from Kim." Ron was struggling to regain his breath.

"You're hiding from Kim?" The boy looked disbelieving. "You feeling all right, dude?"

"Felix my old friend, I am totally freaking out here. Kim has been replaced by a robotic cloney alien thingy!" Despite his desire to remain concealed, Ron's voice had risen in panic.

"Ron, you've had too many late nights playing Zombie Mayhem. Get a grip. Kim is not some alien artefact. And by the way, the coast is clear." Ron cautiously emerged from behind the chair.

"Go with me here, bro. She – I mean it – is majorly crushing on the Ron Man."

"Sure you're not … er … misinterpreting?" his friend responded incredulously.

Ron pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Felix, who read it with widening eyes.

"Kim gave you this?" The chair-bound boy looked appraisingly at his friend.

Ron nodded.

"I'd say you've just left the best friend zone. Ron and Kim, sitting in a tree …"

"No no no. KP and I are friends. That's it. Best Friends Forever. Those are the rules. She dates. I think about dating." Ron was flustered.

"Looks to me like the teen hero has other ideas. You could do a lot worse, dude." Felix watched carefully as Ron processed this new information.

"I don't know … it's not that I haven't thought about it. I mean, who hasn't. It's just that …"

He turned to Felix.

"Can you keep a secret?"

His friend raised an eyebrow. "Sure, Ron. Best buddies and all that."

Ron inhaled deeply. "I'm going to ask Tara to the Prom today. I think she'll say yes!"

"And why do you think that?" Felix was intrigued.

"Monique told me that Tara wants me to ask her."

Felix was impressed. Monique's mega-goss was the most reliable of any school gossip.

"Man, you have two A-list hotties after your skinny but strangely alluring bod. Most guys would give anything to be in your shoes. But … " He laughed. Ron gave him a worried look. "But what?"

"One of them is Kim Possible".

Ron pictured how Kim would react when he told her he was going to be dating Tara. If the last half hour was anything to go by, he would be lucky to escape without serious injury.

Felix looked at him. "Do you really like Tara?" he questioned, knowing the answer. After all, Ron had confided in him as to his feelings for the blonde on more than one occasion.

"Oh yes," Ron breathed. "But I don't want to hurt Kim." And I don't want her to hurt me!

Felix looked his friend straight in the eye. "As my old music teacher once said, 'faint heart never won fair lady'. Go ask Tara to the Prom. Tell Kim you've had feelings for Tara for a long time. She'll understand. She won't want to harm your friendship any more than you do. She's had crushes before. She'll get over this one like all the others."

Ron smiled for the first time since he received Kim's note.

"Thanks, man. I owe you one."

He turned and waved at his friend as he headed back down the corridor in the direction of the dining hall.

ooOooOoo

As Ron entered the busy but slowly emptying dining hall he looked around anxiously for Tara but could see no sign of her. Drat, perhaps she was skipping lunch today. He wondered where Kim was.

His vision suddenly went black as two dainty but firm hands wrapped themselves around his eyes from behind and a familiar, but unusually coquettish voice whispered in his ear "Guess who?"

"Hi KP," he struggled to keep his voice calm. "Er, can you let me out. I'm allergic to blindness."

"Promise you won't run away again?" He nodded, as much as her grip on his face would permit. Kim laughed and released him, moving to stand in front of him, watched by a growing number of students who had witnessed, or heard about, Kim's strange behavior in the corridors.

"Look Kim, I …" he started.

She interrupted him. "You see, tonight's the Middleton Days parade. And I don't have a date."

"Date? You want to be my date? But …"

She beamed joyously. "Oh, I thought you'd never ask!" She leaned in.

Ron took a deep breath. "Wait, but I was going to ask Tar …"

Kim's face went red with anger. "That hussy is not going to steal my Ronnie." Her face softened as she smiled at the hapless youth. "Forget Tara, you've got me." And she put her arms around him and pressed her lips to his.

Ron's good intentions were swept away in a flood of emotion as his best friend kissed him passionately for the very first time. He had never previously experienced the sensations that flowed through him as his eyes slowly rolled up and closed. He inhaled the fragrance of her hair, his arms reaching out to pull her closer, senses heightened by the glorious nearness of her. He had shared many intimate occasions with her, and they had spent many hours snuggled together against an alpine winter or an oriental typhoon, but this was entirely different. Her scent, the taste of her lips, the sound of her breathing. As her hip pressed against his he felt an uncomfortable tightness in his pants.

A cheer and a round of applause were racing around the room as the two friends became aware that their display of affection had been all too public.

She was the first to pull away, hair dishevelled and breathless, her eyes still smoky with desire. He stood still, unwilling to open his eyes, unwilling to end the moment.

Reluctantly, Ron opened his eyes and looked around the room. Brick Flagg, Ron Reager, Steve Foley and Jason Morgan gave him a thumbs-up. "About time, Stoppable", the quarterback shouted out, to murmured approval. Several of the cheerleaders were smiling at the couple, except for Bonnie Rockwaller who glared at the pair, daring them to restart their embrace.

His gaze came to rest on Monique. The brown-eyed girl was staring past the couple, looking behind them towards the door. Ron turned to see what she was looking at but there was no longer anything to see. Monique looked back at Ron. Her face showed a look he had not seen on her before, a look of disenchantment.

At that moment, a wheel chair rolled into the room. "Did you tell her, Ron?" Felix inquired.

"Tell me what?" Kim demanded.

"Er, nothing Kim." Felix was realizing that the situation had not gone the way he had expected.

Ron was staring at the door. Tara. It was Tara he wanted to date. Tara, not Kim. Wasn't it? The feeling of Kim in his arms, the years of pent-up emotion tipping from friendship to something else in moments warred with his feelings for the blonde. What had he done? His reaction to Kim was one of raw physical need, accentuated by the years of friendship. But only hours ago he was ecstatic at the thought of dating the sweet, cute girl on whom he had an enormous crush? And could Kim really have changed her view of him as dating material so suddenly, having previously given him no signs of interest? His head span as he contemplated the two girls.

"Come on, boyfriend." Kim tugged the freckled blond by the arm. "We've got the afternoon off. Gotta prepare for the parade."

Ron allowed himself to be led out of the dining hall by the excited girl. He sneaked a look at Monique. Her unsmiling face stared right back at him. A feeling of guilt swept through him.

Kim or Tara? Tara or Kim?

What do I do now?

ooOooOoo

"Your German reading was amazing," the brown-haired, blue-eyed boy complimented the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl as they walked together toward the dining hall. Josh was being genuinely admiring. His school talents mainly extended to the visual arts and his language skills were as limited as most of his peers. Tara was the exception – her natural ear for correct pronunciation and her ability to pick up translation quickly meant that she was the undisputed school champion at modern languages, the subject she hoped to major in at college in due course.

"Thanks Josh," replied the girl. She did like her companion, even if the recent indications of interest from him were not altogether welcome. "Faust is one of my favorite German poems."

"One of your favorites?" The boy smiled. "I haven't got any favorite German poems. Or German anything elses come to that. Though if German classes mean listening to your reading again, then count me in!"

The girl grinned. Josh was known for his laid-back nature, but his German pronunciation was something out of a Hollywood war film. Overdoing the guttural sound, Josh's speech sounded like he was threatening to invade Poland.

Tara had become used to boys hitting on her. As a leading member of the cheerleading squad, and with a natural charm and smile, she would be one of the most popular girls in the school even if she didn't have the looks to go with the good nature. Unusually for the often bitchy school group, no-one disliked Tara King. On paper, she had it all. Frustratingly though, the one boy whose interest she would have reciprocated hadn't made any sort of a move.

As the pair made conversation while they walked down the corridor, Tara came to a decision. If Ron wasn't going to make a move on her, then she was darn well going to make a move on him. She smiled at the thought.

Josh noticed the smile and wondered if maybe he had a chance with Tara after all. He smiled back at her as they approached the dining hall, pausing as they heard the sound of cheers and applause.

Tara was slightly ahead of Josh as they reached the threshold of the hall. She stopped short as she stared at the sight of Ron and Kim in a passionate clinch. Her heart felt like a stone had just been dropped onto it. She looked around at her classmates, most of them oblivious to everything except the drama taking place in front of them. All but Bonnie were riveted by the couple. One other, Monique. The girl looked across at Tara and an expression of sympathy crossed her face. Tara's eyes filled with tears as the wreckage of her dreams disported itself before her.

Turning her back to the hateful scene, Tara rushed out of the room, almost knocking over Josh, who had failed to witness the drama taking place only feet away from him. He looked alarmed at the upset expression on her face as he turned to follow her.

"Tara, are you okay?" he asked.

She blinked through her tears. She so did not want him to see her in this state. By force of will she dried up the flow.

What a fool I was to think that we had a chance. Always she's there. Always.

Her pain was transmuting into anger as she thought about the scene she had just witnessed.

I'm a strong person. No-one has the power to control my emotions!

She turned to Josh, who was looking confused.

"Josh, take me to the parade tonight. And I'll be your date at the Prom."

The young man looked stunned, but quickly regained his equilibrium. He didn't know what had prompted this change of heart, but who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

He put his hand out to the girl, who took it with a smile. Had he looked more carefully he would have seen that the smile was forced.

ooOooOoo

As Kim and Ron reached Kim's locker, they could hear the familiar four-note beep. Kim opened the locker and watched as her computer turned on and the face of Wade appeared on the screen.

"Hi guys," he greeted as he saw the two friends together. "I'm glad to see you Ron, cos I wanted to apologize for not sending you to Brazil with Kim yesterday. Afraid it was unavoidable."

Ron was still trying to process what had happened to the two of them earlier and failed to respond. Wade looked concerned.

"Are you mad at me, Ron?" the boy asked tentatively

Ron shook his head. "No, Wade. Sorry, apology accepted. I've just a few things to marinate on. By the way, your picture is all covered in snow."

Wade looked at the monitor in front of him. "Funny you mention that, I'm getting interference my end too. Kim, do you have a magnet or some electrical gadget in your locker?"

Kim looked rapidly through her belongings. "Nothing this end, Wade."

"Okay," the techie responded. "I'll check my equipment and we can run a test using the Kimmunicator later today. Are you guys going to the parade tonight?"

Kim grabbed Ron's arm. "Yes we are, Wade. And we have big news for you. From now on, Team Possible is Couple Possible." And she turned to Ron and planted a huge kiss on his lips while she flung her arms around him.

Wade spluttered as he spat out soda at his computer and fell off his chair.

"Whoa guys, were you guys just swapping spit?"

Kim giggled. "Yes, Ronnie and I are officially dating. That's the sitch!"

Wade regained his seating. He couldn't help noticing that Ron seemed a tad less enthusiastic than Kim. Guess it was Kim's idea – and Kim always gets her way. Ron'll come around soon enough.

"Bye for now, Wade," chirruped Kim as she closed the locker door. "What's next is strictly PG-13."

Kim turned to Ron. Her eyes were shining. "I can't believe we waited so long for this. Mum and Dad are going to get such a surprise!"

Ron smiled at her infectious enthusiasm, but his heart felt like it was being stretched by a torturer's rack.

Kim?

Or Tara?

Or both? (yeah, right - down boy!)

Or, knowing his usual luck, neither.