Pranksters, Inc.

By: AliasCWN

Chapter 2

"I'm serious about this Sergeant!"

"Yes sir," Troy answered.

"Yesterday it was green potatoes at lunch and today it was live chickens in the barracks. This has got to stop!"

"I understand sir," Troy nodded again. "I talk to my men and see if they have any knowledge about either of those events."

Before they could even finish their breakfasts, Troy and Moffitt had been summoned to the captain's office.

"Sir, if I may…"

"What is it Sergeant Moffitt?"

"I was just thinking Sir, no one was hurt by either prank. No damages were done either."

"Your point Sergeant?" Captain Boggs demanded.

"I was just wondering Sir, is it really that important to discover the culprit, or culprits? Both pranks have served to improve moral for most of the men. They took their minds off of the slow days we've been experiencing. As long as they stop was there really any harm done?"

"I understand what you are getting at Sergeant, but I need to have some control over the men under my command. I need to have at least the allusion of control. If these pranks continue headquarters is going to think I've lost that control." The captain paused to look out the window of his office. "You're right, they have improved moral, but they still have to stop. If you can guarantee that they will stop I will forget about investigating the pranks and let the whole matter drop."

"I'll see what I can do," Troy promised.

"What about the merchant who owned the chickens?" the captain asked.

"Moffitt can talk to him and straighten it all out," Troy answered.

"All right Troy, but I warn you, if the pranks don't stop, someone is going to the stockade."

"Yes sir," Troy answered.

"All right Sergeant, get out of here. Talk to those delinquents of yours and make sure they understand what I said. If they didn't do it, and they know who did, they had better pass the word along."

"They will sir," Troy nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"Get out of here, I have work to do."

"He knows," Moffitt stated as they left the building.

"Yeah, but he won't do anything as long as it stops," Troy answered.

"The green potatoes weren't that bad," The Brit continued. "They did fit in with St. Patrick's Day. They didn't taste any different than the regular colored ones."

"Green may not have been the best color choice," Troy argued. "A lot of the guys thought they were spoiled."

"There were plenty of other food choices, they didn't have to eat them."

"You're missing the point!" Troy argued.

"Am I?" Moffitt countered. "It was just a prank. Once word got around that they tasted the same I think they were quite popular with the masses. Personally, I think they added a nice bit of color to the regular fare."

"Okay, okay," Troy chuckled, "but don't tell Hitch and Tully any of that. I need to tell them what the captain said instead."

"Deal," Moffitt answered. "I think they already feel bad about their stunt this morning. Perhaps we should make them apologize and make some sort of amends to the merchant for causing him so much trouble."

"Like what?"

"Perhaps they could build him a better chicken coop, one that makes it harder for someone to take his chickens."

Troy laughed. "I like it! I'll let them know what they'll be doing with their free time tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Why not today?"

"Today they're going to be helping the cooks get all of that green out of their pots and pans. Even the ones that aren't green. A day of scrubbing pots should make an impression on them."

Moffitt chuckled. "It should."

"Captain Boggs wants the pranks stopped; something has to make an impression."

"You could just tell them to stop," Moffitt suggested.

"I could, but what fun would that be?" Troy grinned. "Besides, I have another reason for doing it."

"And what would that be?"

"The captain already suspects them for the pranks. I don't want him blaming them if someone else takes up where they left off. You know how competitive some soldiers can be; they might try to out-do the pranks Hitch and Tully carried out."

"If they're busy they will have alibis if anything else happens."

"Yeah, I don't want to have to go back to the captain and have to make excuses for them if something else happens. I want to know where they are and what they are doing at all times."

"You can't watch them 24/7."

"I don't have to," Troy answered. "The cooks can say where they are today and the merchant can be their alibi tomorrow. We'll figure something else out if we need to keep it up."

"Their word isn't good enough?"

"Not this time," Troy answered, "I don't want any doubt if someone wants to know where they were."

"I'll help all I can then," Moffitt promised.

When the two sergeants walked into their room at the barracks the two privates were waiting for them. "We're sorry." Hitch's hurried apology was blurted out even before the door had clicked shut.

Troy hid a smile as he walked over and sat on one of the empty cots. "Before we accept any apologies maybe you had better tell us just exactly what you've done," Troy suggested.

Hitch looked at Tully and took a deep breath. "Tully and I borrowed the roosters and let them loose in the hall. We thought it would be funny when they started crowing in the morning. We were going to round them up and return them, honest, we were!"

"We believe you," Troy nodded. "But we still think that you need to apologize and offer to build the merchant a better chicken coop. Maybe one that will protect his chickens from further pranks."

"Sure Sarge, we can do that," Hitch nodded agreeably. "We'll go talk to him today. Maybe Doc can go along to translate."

"Tomorrow," Troy answered. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"Yeah." Hitch looked over at Tully before he began. "Tully didn't have anything to do with my other prank. I didn't tell him about it until after it was done."

"Go on."

"The green potatoes at lunch yesterday," Hitch spoke quickly to get it over with in a hurry. "That was me. Green for St. Patrick's Day. It was only harmless food coloring; it didn't affect the taste. It wouldn't make anyone sick or anything like that!"

"I see," Troy nodded. "I heard that the cooks were having trouble getting the color out of their pots. You wouldn't know how to do that would you?"

Hitch didn't answer right away.

"Hitch?"

"Okay Sarge," Hitch sighed. "I'll go offer to clean the pots for them."

"Tully can help you, two can work better than one."

"But Tully didn't have anything to do with it! I told you Sarge, I did that on my own!"

"I know, but humor me, I want both of you to volunteer to clean pans for the day."

"Okay Sarge, I take it you want us to do that today and build the chicken coop tomorrow?" Tully didn't seem too upset by Troy's suggestion.

"Yeah Tully, I do. Is that a problem?"

"No problem Sarge."

"And I want your word that you won't pull any more pranks for a while, the captain wants them to stop."

Both privates nodded.

"And I want you to stay around where there are lots of people."

"Why Sarge?"

"The captain wants the pranks to stop. He says if they don't he's going to take action and someone is going to end up in the stockade. If you're around other people he won't be able to blame you if something else happens."

"But we promised to stop," Hitch protested.

"I know Hitch, and I believe you, but you know how these things can take on a life of their own. I just don't want the two of you to get the blame if someone else pulls something."

"Okay Sarge," Hitch nodded. He turned to Tully with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Tully I didn't mean to drag you into this with me."

"It was my idea to borrow the roosters," Tully shrugged. "I guess I invited myself in for what it's worth."

"How long do we have to do this Sarge?"

"Until we're sure that everything has calmed down," Troy answered.

"Okay Sarge, we'll stay around people."

As the two privates left the room Hitch leaned over to whisper to Tully, "Sarge said people, he didn't say which people."