A/N: Yay! Fluff! Ficlet! Stuff! Big gay thanks to my friend Q, who helped me as beta and consulting mage on this one. I will not accept responsibility for any demons accidentally summoned while reading this.

Content warnings for: mentions of bullying, food.

Look, Percy Jackson was a really patient guy, right? Whatever insults you would throw at him, he would just smile and ignore you. Alright, he might secretly swear to carry out terrible revenge against you, but in general, he was fairly chill.

But call him a 'fake', or a 'poseur'? Oh boy, you better be able to run. Fast.

It really hadn't been his fault, he argued to himself. That shitty-ass wannabe bully had had it coming. Absolutely wasn't his fault that she had taken a dive into the school pond. He might have pushed her, but it had absolutely been her fault. No doubt. Obviously, the principal had begged to differ, and the whole incident had gotten him a month's worth of detention and a letter to his mother, but that wasn't the point. Not his fault, that was the point.

He angrily threw the door of his room shut behind him and chucked his bag into a corner. There would be a lecture on manners and not messing up again once his mum came home from work, no doubt, but for now, he had all day to—well, do whatever. Angrily stare at the wall, play darts with his homework for a target, sew on that last handful of patches onto his vest. Whatever you do when you're a highschool senior who just wants to be a punk badly enough to buy a used pair of sneakers and a pentagram-shaped carpet from your first holiday job salary.

Absent-mindedly, he lifted his hand and ran his fingers through the necklace that dangled above his chest. It had been what sparked his earlier, ahem, incident. Drew Tanaka and her usual clique of vultures had come over during recess to poke fun at him. What are you gonna do, she had mocked, summon a demon with that? He hissed slightly at the memory. I bet you draw runes, too, eh? What, no letter from Hogwarts yet?

Yeah, entirely her fault. Going home dripping wet was still too nice for her. It wasn't even that deep a pond, Percy mused. Barely a foot. Glorified puddle, really. Whatever.

He reached for a sharpie on the mess that was his desk. After doodling random figures for a few minutes, he decided to up it a bit. It wasn't the first time he'd drawn on his skin, not by far. That'd be difficult to wash off later, probably, but really, who cared? His make-up pen was in the bathroom, why get up and get it?

Bet you draw runes, too, eh? Well, she hadn't been entirely wrong. He grinned. It was mostly for the aesthetic, but he sure would have loved to see that little shit's face if she had seen him draw actual runes. He wasn't exactly an expert on the subject, not by far, but it wasn't like she would be able to tell. The tip of the sharpie touched the back of his other hand and began to move. Before too long, he had covered most of his forearms, almost like a sleeve tattoo, and moved on to different things—his textbook fell victim to a vicious scribbling of symbols, as did his Maths homework. The detention might as well me worth it.

It really did look quite impressive. He fumbled around on his desk until he found a mirror, buried under three issues of a rock magazine. The eyeliner and lipstick went nicely with the drawings on his arms. He tentatively reached up and put the pen against his cheek. Before too long, his face was drawn on as well, more than enough to give any priest a heart attack. He smirked. Drew's head would explode, seeing him like that. He tossed the mirror onto his bed and decided to head for the kitchen.

He didn't see the way the ink on his arms began to light up, or saw the shapes on his face move.

Then the ground shook.

Percy groaned. A few comic books slid off his head as he dug himself out of the pile of CDs, magazines, and books that he had been buried under. The rest of his room didn't look much better—his guitar had fallen over, the ceiling-high tower of assorted albums next to his desk had collapsed, and his Iron Maiden poster had fallen from its spot on the wall.

Last thing he checked, New York City wasn't known for earthquakes this potent, but apparently today was his unlucky day. Or maybe he had majorly pissed off some god or the likes, Percy sarcastically thought. Then again, who knew?

'Uhm, hello? Am I being given the silent treatment or what?'

The fuck what. Percy whirled around, and there he was.

A boy, seemingly around Percy's age, was standing in the middle of his room. His clothing seemed oddly out of place—something akin to a robe, except much more revealing, then sandals, sorts of, and a pouch slung over his shoulder.

Also, his hair was on fire.

'Who the fuck', Percy started. 'How did you get in? Who are you?'

The boy bared his fangs—actual, real fangs, and what the fuck is going on, Percy thought—and his ears caught fire as he roared 'I am Leonidas the Mighty, the Fiery, bringer of death and doom! I have burnt down Alexandria, sunken Atlantis, and set fire to Rome! Woe those who suffer my rage!'

He scratched his chin. 'Although I guess you can call me Leo. And as for how I got in', he shrugged, 'you summoned me, dumbass.'

He eyed Percy. 'What are you, an apprentice? Fooling around while your master is away?'

This guy was nuts, Percy decided. Absolutely nuts. That still didn't explain how he had not yet noticed he was literally on fire, but yeah. Completely bananas.

'You know', Leo continued, 'this is an offence worth getting you thrown to the snakes over. I am forbidden, taboo, no-go, kapish? Your masters won't be pleased at all to learn you disturbed my slumber. Master Ptolemy himself assured me I wouldn't be summoned for another thousand lifetimes.'

He coughed. 'You know, if you release me now, I might just forget this whole incident. Send me back to the all-in-one and nobody has to know you dishonoured the sacred arts.'

Percy help up a hand. 'Whoa, slow down, dude. Can we get back to the whole summoning part? The fuck are you talking about?'

The stranger frowned. 'Did you hit your head?' he inquired. 'How many fingers am I holding up? Can you see clearly?'

He held out a hand, as if to probe an invisible wall, and that was when Percy decided that maybe he was the insane one, because the air lit up and Leo quickly retracted his hand, as if he had been burnt.

'This', Leo gestured at the carpet he was standing on, 'is a pentagram. And this', he helpfully gestured at himself, 'is me.'

No duh.

'Spell plus pentagram equals summoning. Do you need me to draw you a picture?'

Understanding started to set in, and Percy's thoughts sped up as he tried to fathom what the stranger was saying. Spell. Pentagram. He couldn't possibly mean—

'But it's a joke!' he choked out. 'The, the carpet, it's a decoration! It's just fun and, it's just, it just looks cool! It's not supposed to work!'

'Well, great, an amateur', the distaste in the being's voice was obvious. 'Well, don't worry, your hero Leo has arrived to save the day! Just repeat after me and release me from this, alright?'

The words Leo spelled out for him were difficult and a lot of it sounded like Percy was trying to choke on his own breath (did magicians have to make things so complicated? Dead languages, yucks), but eventually, he did manage. He spoke the last syllable, and… nothing.

Well shit.

Looked like he was stuck with a demon in his bedroom.

A grumpy, kind of cute, sassy demon.

Just great.

'Stuck! In your ridiculous world full of mortals! Me! Oh, the shame', Leo wailed, and Percy rolled his eyes.

Why yes, it wasn't like the boy had said that two dozen times before over the past hour. Thanks, he had gotten the memo. Not that Leo had bothered to ask how Percy felt about having a demon occupy his mother's kitchen and usurp all the spicy nachos while bemoaning the unfairness of being stuck at Percy's. How he was going to explain any of this to Sally, Percy had no idea. He had tidied up his room and washed off as much of the sharpie as he could, but Leo? He could hardly hide him under the bed or something.

'Now', he tried to explain, 'my mum's gonna come home soon, so if you can't disappear, could you at least change into something more', he struggled for words, 'contemporary?'

Leo grimaced, but nevertheless complied. A quick snap of his fingers, and the rags he had been wearing were replaced by a toga. At Percy's disapproving glare, he snapped his fingers again. The toga briefly made way for what looked a suspicious lot like a thong, and Percy yelped and covered his eyes. When he opened them again, Leo had chosen a far more appropriate outfit, consisting of work pants, a tool belt, and a tank top.

It wasn't exactly to Percy's liking, but it'd have to do. Blah blah beggars choosers, he'd always hated that phrase, but with his shit luck of a day, he figured something somewhat ordinary-looking was gonna have to be good enough. And to be fair, the top nicely showed off his visitor's biceps. Go figure, the one time he'd accidentally manage to summon a demon, it just had to be a hot one, right?

'What am I gonna do?' Leo complained. 'Get a job? The last time I was summoned, people respected me! Emperor Hadrian himself sent for me to hear my advice, and now what?'

Jeez, Percy thought, get a grip. The constant whining really did get on his nerves.

'Uh, look, we're gonna have to explain all this somehow', Percy interrupted. 'Okay, let's say you're an exchange student, right? And you're here, uh, because I'm helping you with your homework. I'm sure mum won't mind.'

'Hmm.'

How the hell did he do the fire thing? Percy wasn't even sure if Leo had listened at all, but while he had been staring at the wall, his hair had caught on fire, again. Now, as he turned around to sheepishly smile at Percy—yeah, definitely hadn't heard a word Percy had said—, his fingers lit up too, leaving tiny scorch marks as he drummed on the table. The flames grew and shrank with the rhythm of Leo's drumming.

'Just repeat what I said and hope she believes it, right?'

'Hope I'll believe wha—'

Percy rubbed his hands over his face. Yeah, this was officially the worst day of the year so far. Worse even than the day in middle school when he had hurled his serving of spaghetti bolognese at the back of Nancy Bobofit's head. Worse than the Maths exam at the beginning of the term, the one he hadn't studied for at all. Worse than that time in 9th grade when Mr Brunner had caught him spraying 'fuck cops' on the principal's car.

It was a really bad day, that's what it was.

Next to him, Leo wiped his face clean with a towel for the hundredth time. The pitiful look on his face was reminiscent of a kicked puppy, or a wet cat.

'Oh, stop it', Percy spat. 'Mum said she was sorry, alright?'

'She doused me with a fire extinguisher!' lamented Leo.

'Yes, because she thought you were on fire', Percy shot back. 'And she was really understanding about this whole demon summoning stuff!'

At least after she recovered from fainting, he added in his head. Doesn't happen every day that your son introduces you to a stranger, who just set your kitchen on fire, and is a demon, who is now apparently permanently stuck in your reality. Also, Leo vaporising a kitchen chair as proof of his abilities hadn't been necessary. What a show-off. He better not set any of Percy's favourite bed sheets on fire, or else.

'Boys! Dinner!'

Leo briefly lifted his head from its resting place on Percy's stomach before groaning and dropping it back down. 'Tell her I'm not hungry.'

'Yes you are.'

'Am not. I don't require sustenance.'

Percy ran his fingers through Leo's hair. 'Sure you don't. But you like my mother's lasagna.'´

The demon whined. 'No fair.'

Percy pushed himself up and off the couch and leaned down to peck Leo on the lips. 'Right. I'll relay your regrets to mum.'

Leo was wonderfully easy to tease, Percy had found. And surprisingly fond of physical affection. Percy hadn't even made it halfway through the room when he found himself attacked from behind and pushed against the door. Talk about superhuman movement speed. Or kissing someone with fangs.

If you'd told Percy half a year ago that he would risk missing dinner to make out with a demon, who would be his roommate, and boyfriend? No way.

'Lasagna', he murmured against Leo's lips. 'Later?'

Leo pulled back. 'Later', he agreed and straightened his shirt while Percy checked in the mirror if his eyeliner or lipstick had smeared before opening the door to the living room.

When they were all gathered around the table and their plates filled, with Sally asking Leo about his day at work, Percy thought that this had actually been a fairly acceptable year after all. Go figure. Who knew that accidentally summoning a demon could improve your life so much? Leo was here and part of the family now, and even if he had known how to un-summon him, he would never have had the heart to do so. His fingers fiddled with the new piercing on his nose, and he briefly glanced at the matching one on Leo's.

'…so there I was, and Charlie said, we need those done by noon, but you see, someone misplaced the welding gear, so I might have welded it shut with my fingertip. Maybe. Just maybe. Anyway, Jake came over, and he said…'

Thank fuck for accidental magic, then.