A/N: Because you guys are awesome, and the last chapter was a bit of a filler, and my co-author and I really want to get this chapter up, you're getting this chapter a day early! Woo! Yay for early chapters! Hope you enjoy it. The next one will be even better ;)
Fifteen minutes passed before a kitchen maid pushed the door open and entered with a tray containing a roll, a small block of cheese, and the promised apple. She avoided eye contact at all cost and settled it on a table.
Behind her, a snake slithered in and scaled up a wall, silent and unnoticed. He curled into a round ball and made himself as small as possible. His duty was not to be seen.
"Thank you." Nancy whispered as she stood from the chaise to make her way over to the table. Timidly, she reached down and tried to hold the slits in her dress closed. She blushed bright red as she walked across the room. What did this new woman think of her? Of the awful slits in her dress? Nancy was sure the maid thought of her as Loki's consort. Especially with the slits in the dress. Only a woman of the night would wear something so revealing.
"Loki gave me this dress." she tried to explain, "It's not exactly my style, but at least it still covers what it needs to." Nancy gave a nervous laugh, only to watch the seemingly frightened maid flee from the room.
She sighed and collapsed down into one of the plush chairs, the chain on her collar rattling as she moved. "It's cause I'm a mortal, isn't it? Because I'm a pet. Not even the maids will look at me. Funny." she tore off a piece of the roll and popped it in her mouth. "I guess I have the same status as his snakes now. Green and frightening."
The snake chose a vantage point where he could watch her without a blocked view or an interruption. He settled there, Loki's eyes and ears in his absence. Without fail, he would keep his eyes on the mortal woman, so Loki could watch her as he willed.
A short time later, Nancy finished with her meal. She sat back and smiled, her stomach feeling somewhat full for once. It was a nice feeling. So much better than the grumbling of starvation.
As she sat there picking at the crumbs on her plate, another maid entered, this time carrying her papers. "Set them here." Nancy instructed, rising to help the young woman. The maid did as she was told, also avoiding eye-contact. She quickly produced a rolled strip of leather and an inkwell from the pocket of her apron. These, she set next to the stack of papers. With a quick curtsy to the regal red-head, the maid left the room.
Curious, Nancy slowly unrolled the cloth. It was a wide strip of leather that, when unfolded, became a carrying case for a set of antique quills and pens. There were pens made of wood, gold, silver, and ivory. Quills with little tufts of feathers at the end. Pen-knives with delicate engravings and a set of blotting cards to absorb the extra ink.
Nancy's face lit up like it was Christmas. "Look at these!" she exclaimed, "They're wonderful! So old, thousands of years old. So beautiful!" She picked up each item, one by one, and turned them over in her hand, studying the detail of decoration. Finally, she chose the ivory pen, dipped it in ink, blotted the excess on one of the cards, then began to write a journal entry on one of the clean sheets of parchment. The ink flowed beautifully.
She'd been wrong before. Asgard was heaven.
Date: Unknown – Day 1 of being Loki's pet
Last night was amazing. I actually slept through the night. And he let me bathe. It was a wonderful bath. Everything is made of gold, silver, or marble. Everything. And he gave me a silk dress! I don't like the skirt. It has too many open spaces. But it's silk! Real silk!
I'm not sure how long I've been on Asgard. I know he's held me captive for weeks. He starved me, flogged me, and stole my sleep. But when I do as he asks, he rewards me. And, over time, he has grown kinder. I know what he's doing. And I hate to say it… but it's working. It's strange. I know the methods behind the madness, but I find myself falling into his trap. I know the game. I've seen it before. Studied it. But now that I'm experiencing it, I can't help myself. If obeying him and being his pet means that I retain some semblance of dignity and humanity, then so be it. Irony at its finest.
Otherwise, I do think my health is stable. I have been experiencing some self-doubt and have slipped into a more negative mindset, but when looking at the situation, the emotions are most certainly excused. I have lost some weight, I think, from my time in the cell, but not a detrimental amount. My strength has fallen, but not to the extent that I'm helpless. My keen attention to detail remains intact.
Asgard is beautiful. Loki called it 'glorious', and it is. The realm of the gods. When looking at the architectural designs and décor choices, I notice many aspects from different periods of mortal life. There are elements of Roman architecture, such as the large columns that don the hallways and furniture. But, at the same time, the vaulted ceilings mirror those originally found in Greece. Pens and tools match those of the Elizabethan era, while there's a golden Victorian tub. I wonder, who influenced whom? Did aspects of Asgardian life creep silently into our own world? Or did Asgard adopt our ways of life?
Then there are some things I cannot explain. Electricity in the cells and powering the strange green lights of Loki's room, yet also the use of candles and torches. Windows with the lattices left open instead of air conditioning. As I notice more peculiarities, I'll report them.
Thus far, my adventure on Asgard has been both awful and wonderful, all at once. Every day I long to go home, but I know my heart would break if I left. If only Loki would see me for who I really am. I know there is so much more to him. If only he'd show me.
– Nancy McAllister
Finished with her entry, Nancy glanced up at the bookshelf across from her. Books upon books upon books, stacked up to the ceiling. With a smile, she carefully moved over to investigate them. She pulled one from the shelf, the first one she saw, and began to skim it. It was in Asgardian, but that didn't stop her. She loved the look of the language. As she turned the pages over in her hands, she slowly paced the room, careful not to tangle herself in her chain.
The snake cowered back, coiling against the wall. Trying to remain unnoticed. If she ventured closer, she might see.
Suddenly, she stopped mid-stride. She'd stumbled upon one of the pictures in the book. The image shimmered and moved, showing a man riding a large black horse and brandishing a golden spear. The legs of the horse slowly moved back and forth, imitating the horse's gallop. As she watched, the background shifted from a bright blue sky to one of midnight blue. Stars began to sparkle and shine. "Fascinating!"
Once she was finished with that book, she returned it to the shelf. Nancy skimmed the words on the spines of other books, looking at all the titles. As her fingers brushed over the golden lettering of one, her hand froze. The title wasn't in Asgardian. It was in Old English. This book she could read. Carefully, Nancy pulled the book from the shelf and looked over the title. It translated to: Beowulf.
"I love this book!" Nancy cried with glee, darting back toward the table. She flipped it open and sat down to begin the painstaking process of trying to translate the book into modern English.
With little effort, the snake slithered around to a vantage point where he could see her face as she read. It remained there for the rest of the afternoon.
Hours passed quickly as Nancy became engrossed in the tale. It was only when she discovered that the book was complete that the real fun began. In the late seventeenth century, the last remaining Midgardian copy of Beowulf had burnt in a fire, destroying countless pages of text. Loki's copy, however, preserved on Asgard, remained in pristine condition. Complete and untouched.
Nancy sat back in her chair, her hand clasped over her mouth, lest she accidentally breathe on the page. She quickly moved her writing utensils as far away from the book as possible, not wanting to smudge the priceless artifact with ink. What she'd stumbled upon was worth far more than all the gold and jewels of Earth. It was as if she'd been given a gift from the gods. In fact, she had.
Carefully, Nancy reached over and grabbed a single sheet of paper and a pen. She moved slowly and deliberately, her training governing her actions. She would copy the text first, stroke for stroke. Then she would translate the text into modern English from her copy, using the original copy as a guide. It would be more painstaking than simply reading the story, since now she had the added work of trying to read, translate, and copy. All while she didn't even have her glasses. But she wouldn't let her lack of sight stop her. Up close, she could see. Yes, her eyes were strained, but the discomfort was nothing in light of the treasure she'd found. Nancy spent the rest of the day and well into the evening copying the missing texts.
/
Loki had never had such a long day. Meeting after meeting. Theory after theory. And still no closer to the truth of the matter. He sighed as he entered his chambers and removed his helmet. He set it aside easily and flopped into a chair. He closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Many more days like this and he would have a constant headache.
Nancy jolted and looked up when she heard Loki flop into a nearby chair. She'd nearly forgotten where she was. With the same careful and precise movements, Nancy organized her papers and moved them off to the side, out of the way. Then she closed the book and returned it to the shelf. On her way back to the table, she stopped and glanced at Loki. He looked absolutely exhausted. She hadn't seen him so tired since their trip on the quinjet, after he'd fought his way off the helicarrier.
"Master?" she whispered, approaching him, "Are you alright?"
Loki opened his eyes and glanced at her. He had almost forgotten she was there. But, oh was he glad she was. For once, in a very long time, he found himself not alone after such a long day. There was someone there, someone to speak to and share with. She must, however, learn to do as he wanted before he even spoke it. One day she would know what was expected of her.
He motioned to the floor. "Kneel, pet."
Nancy slowly knelt in front of him, the panels of her skirt swaying so she could sit. "You look like you've had a long day."
He chuckled and reached to unclasp the chain from her collar. Now that he was back, resident in his chambers, she wouldn't be going anywhere. "I have," he answered. "And were you a good pet while I was away?"
"I tried to be." Suddenly, her eyes lit with excitement, "Oh, my gosh. You have Beowulf! The complete Beowulf! Ours was destroyed centuries ago. I've never read the whole thing. But you have it! I spent the whole day trying to translate and copy the missing pages. I can't read the Asgardian books, but they're pretty great, too. I especially like the moving pictures. I have no idea how you get them to move." She stopped and clammed up. "Sorry. I'm talking too much, again. Aren't I?"
He shook his head and chuckled again. He knew as much, but it was amusing to hear it come from her lips. Little did she know he had specifically removed Beowulf from the royal library and positioned it where he knew she would find it. She would never know the lengths he went through to see to her comfort and happiness, such as it was. He patted a hand against his leg. "Come. Sit."
Nancy blinked at the sudden request. He'd never wanted such closeness before. It was a large step for her to take. To trust him enough to sit on his lap. Hesitantly, Nancy sat down, unsure of his motives. But, this was all she'd ever wanted. To be close to him. Perhaps, she could let herself enjoy it. Just one moment with him. She slowly leaned back until she was resting against his shoulder.
"It must be so difficult being king." she commented.
"I find the challenges... rewarding." Loki absentmindedly stroked his hand along her arm. Up and down. Feeling the soft fabric under his fingers. Silk had been a wonderful choice, and it still felt cool and calm under his fingers. It grounded him, this feeling of closeness, like nothing else he could think of.
Nancy glanced at his hand, growing uncomfortable. How had a kiss or two and an occasional head-pat turned into her sitting on his lap with him stroking her arm? She flinched under his touch.
"Every whim. You promised." He sounded over-tired. Even to himself.
She heard the exhaustion in his voice. All he wanted was to relax with his new, cherished pet after a long day of ruling. She could give him that. Nancy sighed softly and closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to relax against him. As far as she could tell, he didn't have any ulterior motives. He simply wanted to spend time with her.
Still stroking her arm, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was content enough to sleep there, in the chair. However, his mind told him his bed would be more comfortable. Even if he wished to have her sit there, laying against his shoulder, all night long. He could not sleep in the chair again. Too many nights had been spent there, and though he was still spry, his muscles would not tolerate it forever. His headache demanded a pillow to soothe it, anyway.
Growing sleepy herself, Nancy shifted so she could lay sideways against him. She curled up in his lap, her own contentment finally showing. She glanced up at him and smiled. Maybe she'd read him all wrong. Maybe he did have feelings toward her. She sat up and softly kissed him, hoping for him to kiss her in return.
Of course she would choose now, when his resolve wavered, to tempt him. Loki stood, lifting her in his arms. What she must think of that, he had not a clue. With a smile, he settled her gently on the chair and stood to his full height. He stripped down to just his trousers again, aware of what she might think if he took off more, and kissed the top of her head. "I release you to sleep if you so desire." He headed for his bed. His nice, big, soft, warm bed. He collapsed into it with little ado.
Nancy reached out to touch his skin as he stripped in front of her, but pulled her hand back as he moved away. It all happened so quickly. First he'd wanted to spend time with her, then he wanted to sleep. Would every day be like this?
"What if…?" she began, "What if I don't desire it? Not right now. What if… I desire something else?" She glanced over at him and saw him lying in his bed. "Never mind. You look too tired. Just go to sleep." She stood and moved toward the chaise.
Somewhat awake again, Loki sat up and stared at her. With all her words, she had finally managed to confuse him. She couldn't possibly mean what he thought. "What else could you possibly desire?"
Well, there was a lot she desired from him. A lot she couldn't say aloud. She nervously played with the corner of the blanket on her bed. "You." she whispered, then spoke louder, "To lay with you. Next to you." She cleared her throat nervously, wanting nothing more than this whole awkward moment to end. She'd misspoken and taken the different connotations of 'lay' into account a moment too late. To a modern American, two people can lay together without being intimate, such as when a couple simply lays on a couch to watch a movie. But, to a regal Asgardian, who used an older form of the English language with older connotations, two people laying together meant something entirely different. A meaning she'd only meant in her wildest fantasies. And, unwittingly, she'd admitted it aloud.
He smirked. Ah, yes, he had succeeded in wiggling just a little bit into her mind. And her unintentional double-entendre only sweetened his night. One of the loveliest things about having a wordsmith was listening to her fumble for the correct words. He couldn't have asked for a more entertaining situation. "If you choose to occupy a place beside me, rest assured I can by no means keep to myself."
Nancy blushed and nodded her acknowledgment of the terms. "This is the most I've ever seen of you. The kindest you've ever been. I just want to be close to you, is all."
Disappointing. He had thought she would have stronger desires than that. But, if she insisted... "Once. Next time I will not be so lenient." He flopped back on the bed.
Nancy smiled and climbed into the bed, snuggling up close to him. She blushed a bit more as she felt his skin against her hand, and silently hoped he'd put his arm around her. "Why would you want to do that to a 'pet' anyway?" she asked after a moment, noting what he'd assumed she'd wanted, "We're two completely different species."
"Why would you assume that is what I meant?" He turned to look down at her.
"Well, what did you mean?" She threw the question back at him.
"What did you have in mind when you asked, little one?" He raised an eyebrow, refusing to give in. He had to know what she had really meant when she stammered her request. Had her intentions really been so sincere? Or had she only spoken what she truly thought?
Nancy sighed and glanced away. "I didn't want our moment to end." she explained, hoping she wasn't making a fool of herself, "I guess I was just seeking… affection. I've had such a wonderful day. And you looked so tired. I wanted to spend this evening with you and help you unwind. I just wanted to spend time with you."
"I meant what you thought when you asked why I would do that to a pet." He paused to consider what she had just revealed. She wanted to be close to him. No one had ever... said that aloud before. He cleared his throat. "I will lecture you later on the species misconception."
"Oh. I guess I thought you'd meant you wanted to be… intimate. And I was surprised you'd want that with a 'pet'. I'm just an animal to you. A pet. You're a god, Loki. Or so you claim. I'm just… me." Nancy could feel the tears brimming in her eyes. She wanted to be so much more to him. To be so much more than a pet. But he would never have her. She was a mortal. And not the best of the species, either.
"Make no mistake. Not one of my pets is 'just' anything. You are mine, and therefore you are extraordinary."
"What? Because you put a golden collar on me?" Her tears finally spilled over. "I read books for a living! I read people! How is that extraordinary? How am I extraordinary?"
Loki quickly propped himself up on an elbow to loom over her. How could she not see her worth? "You verge on obstinance, pet, which will not end well. I suggest you learn your place quickly."
Nancy took in a shaky breath to calm herself. She was no more than a pet to him. A dog that had barked too loudly. "I'm sorry." she whispered. Silently, she moved out of the bed and back over to the chaise. There was no way he'd want her near him after that. In that moment, she felt so inferior to him. As if she was little more than a worm. A little earthworm for him to crush with his words. She sobbed softly.
Loki flopped back against the pillow. He hadn't meant to drive her away. Leave it to him to push away the only person that had ever shown any affection for him, other than his mother. He half-sighed and half-growled. His anger often got the best of him, and she knew how to push all his buttons. Maybe this was for the best. Tonight.
As Nancy slipped under her velvet cover, she heard his growl. "I didn't mean to upset you, Loki. …Er, master." she whimpered, her voice shaking, "I just… I… I'm sorry." She turned so that her back was to him, her face buried in the corner of the chaise.
He rolled over, quickly tiring of the conversation and, quite frankly, hurt by her words. "Sleep. We will discuss this later."
But she knew they wouldn't. He'd said it with the same tone he used when he told her he'd return later. The same tone that told her she'd be alone for days. They would never speak of this matter again.
Quietly, Nancy allowed her tears to envelope her. She hadn't meant to anger him. She was only expressing her mind. But in her expression, she'd assumed a spot equal to him. And that is what caused him to shut down. If only she could go back and remedy her mistake. If only they could start again. Thinking on these despairing thoughts, Nancy sniffled as softly as she could, not wanting to anger him further.
"Silence!" He rubbed at his head, tired and cranky. A very bad combination if she wanted to talk. "How do you expect me to sleep when you are creating such racket?"
"I'm sorry, master." Her words barely made it to the surface. She lay still and quiet, barely breathing, lest she bother him again. Her very existence seemed to bother him at this point.
All she wanted was to go back to her cell. To remove herself from his presence. She'd been mistaken. He obviously didn't want her anywhere near him. This was a horrible idea. To be his pet. As if he could care for her. As if he would love her. Nancy sobbed again.
Eventually, despite her evident sorrow, Loki found himself falling asleep.
Soon, Nancy heard his soft snoring. He'd fallen asleep. Here she was crying her eyes out, and he fell asleep. He didn't care for her. She was just a plaything.
With another choked-back sob, Nancy stood and found her way to the golden doors in the darkness. She'd find her own way back down to the dungeons. She'd sit outside her cell if she had to. Or outside his room. Anywhere else but in here with him.
The snake slithered down toward the door. He would watch her while Loki slept, channeling anything terrible or disturbing into his dreams so he would wake.
With one look back, Nancy reached out and took the knob in her hands. She stood there, so ready for her freedom, but could only look at him. He looked so peaceful, the moonlight softening his features. His steady, calm breathing. And she was supposed to be right there beside him, curled in his arms. He'd called her extraordinary, yet she lashed out at him. It was her own fault she'd been pushed away. She'd caused this.
A soft sigh escaped her lips. She couldn't leave him. Not only would he be furious, but the act would only serve to hurt him more. In her anger and self-loathing, she'd twisted his compliment and thrown it back at him. If she left on top of that, he'd never forgive her.
Slowly, Nancy made her way back over to the chaise. For a moment, she debated on joining him in his bed again, but knew the opportunity was gone. So, instead, she lay back on the chaise and covered herself with the velvet blanket.
She lay there for hours, thinking of his words. How he'd called her extraordinary and deemed her as his. The more she thought on it, the guiltier she felt. Finally, halfway through the night, Nancy fell asleep, her mind settled in her decision. She would remedy this. No matter the cost. She couldn't lose him so soon.