A/N: I'M SO SORRY WE HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER! My co-writer and I were in the middle of college and life and we got sooooooo busy. But we're back with the end of this fic now! There are a total of 71 chapters, plus a sequel in the works. We will probably try to finish it before we start posting, but look forward to it! We love you all and we're so glad you've stuck with us so far. More good things to come! Enjoy!
Nancy glared at her lover's pacing form as he stalked to and fro across the gilded hall. How could he reject her like this? After everything they'd been through! How could he take another woman as his? Did he care nothing for her, after all this time? For their child?
Slowly, Nancy advanced from the shadows and stood before him, arms crossed. "Loki."
Loki shot a drunk glare at Nancy, but his feet kept pacing. "What?"
"You know, all this time, I thought I was your dog." Nancy sneered, a humorless half-laugh, half-scoff emanating from her throat, "I came when you said 'come', stayed when you said 'stay', and shut up when you muzzled me. I even let you put that stupid collar on me!" She paused long enough to regain a semblance of her composure. "But, you know what? It turns out... I'm not the dog." Again she paused, expecting some acknowledgment of the facts she'd revealed. When he remained silent, Nancy growled and called out, "Face me!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Loki spun on his woman, arms flailing and anger in his veins. Drink had never helped his demeanor. It appeared that his drunken state now wouldn't help, either.
Without thinking, Nancy slapped him. Hard. "Nothing. I want absolutely nothing from you." With another sneer, Nancy shook her head, disgusted, and turned to walk away.
Loki paused, barely daring to breathe. His fingers slowly slid up to cover his cheek where she'd slapped him. Loki didn't know if that slap brought clarity to his ale-muddled brain or not. All he knew was that he had failed to break her in the way he had originally intended. To Loki, in this state, that somehow became humorous. A chuckle shook his shoulders. Then another.
Nancy stopped in her tracks when she heard his soft laugh, knowing she probably just got herself killed for such an outrageous, disobedient act. She'd slapped the king.
With an exasperated sigh, she turned to face him. Let him do his worst. She was so tried of all this. "Now what is it?"
Loki couldn't contain his laughter, not now. Something about Nancy's outrage and the adorable way she glared only egged him on. "I've not been slapped in quite some time. She was also a Midgardian woman." Little by little, reason took over Loki's mind and body. He let himself return to the serious state he dwelt in. "You were never a dog to me. And you thought I led her this way because I love her more? Desire her above you?"
Nancy looked away, tears forming in her eyes. How could he still be so cruel, after everything? After they'd grown so close. "Why else would you want her?" Nancy's voice broke as a tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek.
"I cannot be forceful with you. Not in this state." Loki motioned a hand toward Nancy's enlarged belly, where his child resided and grew strong.
Nancy scoffed at his pathetic excuse. "You don't have to be! Must you be 'forceful' to have love?" Her tears flowed freely now.
What kind of woman couldn't even see that he wanted the best for her? How did she not see the sincerity behind his cruel actions? Loki snagged his helmet off his own head and sent it sailing across the wide hall. "I am drunk. I did not wish to harm you!"
Nancy gasped at his outburst and the loud clanging of his metal helmet against the walls. She took a step away from him, nodding slightly in stunned silence. He was so angry and upset. At her. She'd stepped out of line, and now he hated her for it. He'd lashed out and wanted another woman instead. She was of no more use to him, especially not like this. Nancy took another step back.
Loki's chest heaved with the exertion of keeping himself together. All he could do was stare at his beautiful mortal. He didn't mean to frighten her. He never meant to push her away. Things came out all wrong when he drank too much. No. Things came out wrong because he never took time to think them over first. Loki slumped against the wall and used it to assist him to the floor. How would he ever do this properly?
As soon as Loki was distracted, even for a moment, Nancy took the opportunity to turn and flee. She dashed as quickly as she could down the shining corridors, turning this way and that, following the familiar halls. Tears burned in her eyes, blinding her, as she raced she knew not where.
Eventually, she came to a stop against a large, golden door. One of the many in the corridor of the king. Nancy took a step back and looked around to gather her bearings. Where was she? She stood in front of doors she knew well: Loki's private entrance to the library.
With a sniffle and swipe at her tears, Nancy pushed the doors open, then locked them tight behind her, hoping he wouldn't find her here. Hoping he would sober before he came for her. Hoping he still loved her through his madness.
Though he knew his love had run away, Loki didn't follow. He couldn't bear to see the tears in her eyes or the betrayal in her slumped shoulders. Loki leaned his throbbing head back against the wall and closed his eyes. If only he could turn back time and take it all back.
Moment by moment, Loki's felt sobriety return to him. Sense and sanity that he had lost pressed in to remind him of his failure. And all the apologies that needed to be made to make up for it. First things first, Loki focused his consciousness and sent it sailing into the mind of the snake assigned to watch his beloved. Of course she had run to the place they shared more often than not. Using some of the last of his strength, Loki teleported himself to the library.
Nancy sat curled in the corner of one of the many side-nooks, concealed between a bookshelf and the wall. She sobbed quietly as moonlight streamed in through the open window, the only light source in the room. "Shh." she whispered through her tears, rubbing her hand softly over the spot where her child lay kicking within her, "It's alright, sweetheart. Daddy will be well by morning."
Loki stopped at the side of a nearby bookshelf. He shouldn't have come. He shouldn't put the child or the woman he loved through so much. He should be a better man than he was. Love harder. Restrain himself better. But that had never been possible.
Still, he couldn't walk away. "Love."
Nancy's breath froze in her lungs at the sound of Loki's soft voice. He'd found her. Trapped between the shelf and the wall, there was nowhere for her to run or hide. She curled deeper within herself, curling her knees against her stomach as though to protect their still-growing child.
"Are you going to punish me for hitting you?" The words barely made it to the surface as her arms tightened around her mid-section. Nancy remembered well what punishment she'd received the last time she struck the king.
"No, love. No." Loki swept to his knees beside her. This time, she had been in the right. Even he knew that. "I probably deserved it."
Nancy turned completely sideways and cowered into the corner at Loki's close proximity and swift movements. "I didn't mean to upset you. I was angry." she rushed her words, bowing to her master, "You can have any woman you want. You're the king."
"And I was drunk." She must hate him. Loki stood and moved away, hoping to soothe her frazzled nerves. "I do not want just any woman. I want you."
"Yes, but for how long?" Nancy sobbed, still refusing to make eye-contact with him, "If this baby isn't yours, you'll get tired of it. Tired of me. You'll want one of your own with a wife of your own."
"For always. I want you – both of you – forever." Loki sighed and rubbed at his forehead. How did he explain his own personality when he didn't even know it? A mumbled curse on himself was all he could manage, "This is why I shouldn't over-consume alcohol. Stupid, stupid mistake."
Nancy finally turned slightly and looked up at him. Studied the remorse on his face. In his eyes. Even in the dim lighting, she could see how hurt he was. How sorry he was for hurting her.
"Do you promise? Forever?" She sat up straighter and looked fully into her lover's face. Liesmith that he was, he would never lie to her.
What? Did she forgive him? She couldn't possibly understand. Loki moved his fingers from his face and nodded as enthusiastically as he could. "Yes, love. Forever. I apologize for rejecting your advances earlier. You are not usually so forward."
"I know. But I'm trying." Slowly and carefully, one inch at a time, Nancy crept back up the wall, using it as support, until she finally regained her footing and stood alongside her lover again. She needed him to understand how she felt about him, especially after this new charade of his. He needed to know the full extent of her love.
"Will you meet me here tomorrow evening? Alone? No cats or snakes following me around all day."
Relief swept over Loki, and with it a fierce headache. Still, he refused to snap at her or make the same angry mistakes from the hall. Loki nodded. "But... where will you be in the meantime?"
"I will be safe." Nancy held up her wrist, the golden cuff bracelet still securely in place. "You already made sure of that."
"Still. I do not like you wandering alone. You are sure you will not return to our chambers?"
Nancy frowned and studied him again, sensing his emotions as if they were her own. His concern for her safety, lest she be hurt again. His sorrow at frightening her. He honestly didn't mean it. And his fear… of losing her.
Slowly, Nancy approached him and slipped her arms around his shoulders. She kissed him softly, tenderly, assuring him she would never leave him. "Well, maybe I will return with you." she whispered against his lips, barely pulling away, "Just for the night."
Loki reached out to cup her face in return. Finally, finally, he knew she understood his sincerity. He tried, even if he failed on more than one occasion. "Good." Loki couldn't help it after that. He pulled her back for another passionate kiss.
Nancy returned his kiss with fervor, wrapping her arms tighter around him and drawing him closer. If only he knew how much he truly meant to her. How ready she was to sacrifice everything for him. She would cut all ties to Earth forever, if only to rule by his side.
"You promise…" she panted, pulling out of the kiss to take in some air, "You love me… forever?"
"Forever." Loki pressed another kiss to her lips. "How many ways must I say it?"
"Only one. You will remember your words." The smirk she bestowed on him could rival any of his own.
Such beautiful words from equally beautiful lips. Loki pulled her as close as he could to kiss her deeper. A soft growl vibrated against his lips. "This child needs to be born so I can properly attend to your desires."
"Oh, you think it will be easier to attend me once we have a child to care for?" Nancy laughed, "That's adorable."
Loki chuckled. "At least then we can leave it with a nurse while I make my claim on you."
With a grin, Nancy stepped away from him and held out her hand for him to take. "Save it for tomorrow, darling."
Of course she would walk away. She liked to leave him hanging. Loki barely stifled his pout. "Oh, fine. But now I am intrigued."
"Good." Nancy held his hand a little tighter as she led the way out of the library. "You should be. But, remember what I said. I don't want anything following me around tomorrow. No cats or snakes or servants. And I don't want you following me around, either. No invisibility. It'll ruin it."
"Fine. Be difficult." Loki trailed behind her, but only one thought made it to his mind and past his lips. "I wish I had the power to speed up time."
/
The next morning, Nancy woke early, rising with the golden Asgardian dawn. Last night had been one of the worst they'd had in a long while, only serving to separate them and bring back old, suppressed memories. Even after they'd made up, there was still an obvious distance between them. A space of fear and guilt and remorse. Of trying to protect the other by keeping to their own sides of the bed.
But tonight would change everything. It would decide their fate and seal them together… or split them apart for the rest of eternity. Everything hinged on tonight.
With one last look down at her lover, Nancy stooped over him and brushed his hair out of his face. She kissed his temple softly, careful not to wake him. "I love you, darling." she whispered, still trying not to wake him, "And I always will." Her fingers lingered in his hair a moment longer, then Nancy turned and headed out the door, heading for the library and the surprise she was planning.