A/N: I don't own any of the concepts in this story. Now to the story and beyond!
It all started with a casual conversation…
-o-0-o-
Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc looked like he had something on his mind as he twiddled a cigarette between his fingers. "Hey," he asked, looking at Master Sergeant Kain Fuery. "I wonder who's stronger, Mustang or Edward?"
"Mustang. Definitely Mustang." Fuery said while nursing a cup of coffee. They were sitting in a smoking room.
Warrant Officer Vato Falman pointed at Fuery, his white uniform with blue trim crinkling a bit as he sat up straight. "No," he countered. "Don't underestimate The Iron. I heard he's a master of close combat and his Schrift is second to none."
"Do you think Ed would have the advantage in close combat?" Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda questioned, blowing at the steam rising in small swirls from his coffee.
-o-0-o-
"I wonder who would win."
"I hear The Iron's won some pretty impressive battles lately."
"Hey, don't forget that Sternritter H was a war hero during the Quincy Extermination."
"Someone make battle statistics cards!"
-o-0-o-
"It seems that there's been a lot of discussion here at East Silbern lately about whether The Iron or myself is stronger." Roy Mustang stated.
Lieutenant Hawkeye, the best shot in the military, flipped through papers on a clipboard as she asked, "Does it bother you, Sir?"
Mustang snorted as he skimmed over a document, pen in hand. "Don't be ridiculous. Do you think I would get bent out of shape over a kid?" He proceeded to sift through a file while declaring, "Anyways, even if I wanted to fight him, The Iron's running around so much, I wouldn't be able to find him." He smiled, which looked more like a smirk. "It's too bad you won't be able to witness my bravery, but I guess there's nothing that can be done about it." Ha.
Hawkeye remained unfazed as she held a phone away from her ear. "Actually, Sir," She informed with a bit of a laugh in her voice, " I've got Edward on the phone right now. He's here for a meeting."
Edward's voice could be heard faintly yelling in the background, "IF YOU WANNA FIGHT, BRING IT ON!"
Mustang whipped his head around to look at her. "But if two Sternritter like us were to collide, there would be significant collateral damage to the surrounding area-"
"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes is negotiating for use of the parade grounds." Hawkeye finished smoothly.
Mustang slammed his fist down on his desk with a bang. "Listen!" He raised his voice a notch. "First of all, His Majesty would never allow such a thing!"
"Hmm… Sounds interesting," His Majesty King Bradley said with a laugh. "Go ahead, I'll allow it!"
Mustang looked frazzled as His Majesty's voice resounded through the phone lines, saying, "give him hell, Sternritter H!"
-o-0-o-
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" A voice resounded across Silbern. "Welcome to the Central Parade Grounds! Today is a momentous occasion, for today is…" Here, Hughes paused for a second, before shouting, "my daughter's second birthday, yeah!"
The following 'BOOOOOO!' could be heard across the Soul Society. "Who Cares!?" One Soldat shouted. "Hurry Up!"
"Okay, there aren't a lot of pages left, so let's get on with it!" an empty Ginto tube bonked Hughes in the head. "Today's main event -The Heat vs. The Iron! The first-ever Sternritter Battle Royale! In the left corner, Sternritter H- The Heat, Roy Mustang!"
At this point, many of the Soldat were shouting things like, "Get back to work!", "Gimme back my girlfriend!", "go to hell, Flamie!" and "WHY WERE YOU THE ONLY ONE TO GET PROMOTED?!". Roy Mustang looked away and ignored them.
"And in the right corner, Sternritter I - The Iron, Edward Elric!" Hughes continued.
"Woah, he's tiny!"
"Is he in elementary school?"
"Knock him dead, sprout!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HIS BOW IS TWICE HIS HEIGHT!?" Elric shouted, extremely pissed off. Then in a quieter tone, so only his brother could hear, he gloated. "Heh heh heh… I never dreamed that I would be able to shoot Sternritter H in his smug face in front of a crowd."
"Big brother, do you think you have a chance of winning?" Alphonse asked, concerned.
"I'LL SKEWER HIM WITH MY HEILIG PFEIL!" was the reply.
Wasn't this supposed to be a schrift battle? Alphonse wondered exasperatedly.
"READY!" Hughes shouted. "FIGHT!"
-o-0-o-
"Burner Finger Two!" Mustang shouted, swiping his right hand. An explosion.
"ARGH!" Edward ran. "Right off the bat, huh? Dammit!"
" 'A soldier who strikes fast strikes first'." Mustang recited calmly as explosions rocked the Wandenreich. "It means you have to get the initiative to achieve a quick victory. Burning Stomp!" Another explosion.
"Yowch!" Edward hissed as he ran along the barriers, everything exploding in his wake. "You're not holding back, are you?!" He used hirenkyaku to increase his speed.
"Hm… it's hard to hit such a small target!"
Ed paused and clenched his fist. "DON'T CALL ME SMALL!"
"'An angry soldier fights blind. It means you shouldn't let the enemy's taunts get to you. Burner Finger Four!"
"Eep!" Ed gulped as he saw the elaborate crossguard of flaming reiatsu from around Mustang. BOOM. "AAAgh!"
"Hmm… maybe I overdid it a bit. I can't see anything with all this smoke." Mustang commented. He scanned his surroundings and saw the outline of a small figure. Judging by the reiryoku, it was The Iron. Mustang cleared the smoke only to see a blur of white rush past a decoy made of reishi. He then sensed Edward's presence behind him. He quickly turned around, but a Helig Pfeil - holy arrow - grazed his right arm, snapping the chain of his Quincy Cross. The cross fell and was lost. "Tch!"
"Let's see how tough you are without your flames!" Ed sneered as he emerged from the smoke, his longbow by his side. It was a statement about Ed's tastes; little gargoyles peppered the surface of the bow.
"Crap." Mustang gritted his teeth.
"VICTORY IS MINE!" Ed shouted.
"So you're not a fool after all. But I've got bad news for you!" Mustang grinned as he slid his left hand out of a pocket on his white trench coat. A second Cross glinted as it dangled off a chain on his wrist. "I have a spare!"
Edward's jaw dropped.
"'A soldier should keep deception in his arsenal.' Meaning, a surprise attack is a legitimate strategy, The Iron. BURNING FULL FINGERS!" Mustang's smirk widened as a vortex of flame shot towards Ed.
BOOOM.
Ed could be heard faintly yelling, "aieeeeeee…" as he flew through the air.
-o-0-o-
"Hrm, well done. That was a brilliant battle, Sternritter H." His Majesty Bradley commented, his back turned to Alphonse and Havoc who were currently carrying a scorched Edward on a stretcher.
"Thank you, sir, I am honored by your praise." Mustang kneeled on one knee.
"Well then," His Majesty said, still grinning. "Make sure every one of you helps to clean up."
"I knew that was coming…" Mustang grumbled, standing up after His Majesty had left. He surveyed the damage. Shards of Reikka Silver, Reikka Glass, and ice were everywhere, along with half a dozen unconscious Soldat. The Parade Grounds had been completely decimated into several large craters, one still slightly smoking. He sighed.
-o-0-o-
"That's why I didn't want to have this fight!" Mustang exclaimed.
"Quit sitting there and help us out!" Breda grumbled, hoisting a couple large chunks of a wall on his shoulders.
"Hey, where's Lieutenant Colonel Hughes?" Havoc looked around.
-o-0-o-
Sternritter P, The Power opened a door, his blonde hair curl bouncing. "Hrm? Lt. Colonel, I thought you were at the parade grounds today?"
"A soldier should know when to retreat."
~END~.